March 6, 20214 yr So I have been tapped to maybe serve on a jury. Questions for all the lawyers and convicted criminals among us: 0. I am not looking on tips for how to get out of it. Done that a few times already. I am so Covid crazy-bored that anything different, including jury duty, looks good. 1. Is it illegal for me to discuss it, as in starting a message board thread? 2. How much does it pay? I'm guessing $600-700/day, but if it's more, that's awesome. 3. Will the lawyers speak in accents from the 1930s? 4. How much other stuff can I do while I'm sitting there listening? I get that I shouldn't play with a phone, but can I take notes? And can I take notes in the form of drawing cartoons, cartoons which I later sell on Etsy? 5. What is the dress code? Could I dress in character, wearing a sharp suit one day, a moldy plaid shirt and camo jacket the next? 6. Will it be necessary to demonstrate my willingness to fight to other members of the jury? I don't intend to get pushed around. 7. How is the food at these things? Do I get food served to me, or do I have to find my own? I am on a Mediterranean diet (well, I may be by jury time) and will expect a shot of ouzo so I can digest my food. 8. If we are there a long time, is it usual for jurors to pair up and start Jury families? I am happily married but I ain't gay or nothin and want to know what's expected. That's all I can think of right now, thanks.
March 6, 20214 yr You’ll take your $14 pay and like it. Showing up high will make the trial go faster.
March 6, 20214 yr Author Thanks, noted. 9. Will there be a piss test? 10. Are they gonna make a big damn deal about going through the metal detector again?
March 6, 20214 yr I got it for the DC in Waco. You have to call every week to see if you need to come in. Like week 4 I got the report message. Drove up to Waco, found out it was some kind of error. We all got credit for jury duty without actually doing anything. I think they were just fishing for people that didn't check weekly/answer the summons, maybe that's what they do when they don't have any cases? I can only provide these answers. 2. I don't remember the amount, but it wasn't anything approaching 3 figures. Cooter may be right. 4. You cant even bring your phone into the building. 5. You have to wear a coat and tie. If you don't, they provide you with one that has probably been worn by 100 people that cant afford a coat.
March 6, 20214 yr Author 1 hour ago, TXSG8R said: 4. You cant even bring your phone into the building. I'd sign up for it every day to be able to live in that world.
March 7, 20214 yr 4 hours ago, RDCanecutter said: 4. How much other stuff can I do while I'm sitting there listening? I get that I shouldn't play with a phone, but can I take notes? And can I take notes in the form of drawing cartoons, cartoons which I later sell on Etsy?
March 7, 20214 yr At that level I understand it’s also customary for you to yell ‘I OBJECT’ randomly regardless of circumstances.
March 7, 20214 yr Also don't forget to wear a powdered wig, and bring a small, gold-fringed flag which you can set on the table or banister in front of you. And if it's a drug case (or even if it's not) make sure to talk a lot about jury nullification. Edited March 7, 20214 yr by Paper_jam
March 7, 20214 yr 1 hour ago, Homercles said: At that level I understand it’s also customary for you to yell ‘I OBJECT’ randomly regardless of circumstances.
March 8, 20214 yr If you find yourself in voir dire, after they ask you the first question, scream “Why are you questioning me? The mother fucking criminal is sitting right there!”... as you point to the defendant.
March 8, 20214 yr If you're deliberating with the rest of the jury, be sure to familiarize yourself with the phrase "Naw hell naw I ain't no snitch" when asked about your thoughts on the case or for your verdict.
March 8, 20214 yr Author 8 hours ago, williemackgarza said: O Shit. I think its El Chapos wifes trial. Plata o plomo Buena Suerte El Chapo never did anything bad to me or mine. Fixin to be some piles of plata at the casa Canecutter.
March 8, 20214 yr There’s one place jury summons belong. In the fucking trash can. Edited March 8, 20214 yr by StruggleBus
March 8, 20214 yr 13 hours ago, StruggleBus said: There’s one place jury summons belong. In the fucking trash can. Hopefully some day you will face judgement by a jury of people too stupid to get out of jury duty
March 8, 20214 yr 11 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said: Hopefully some day you will face judgement by a jury of people too stupid to get out of jury duty Seriously though, I sometimes wonder about people that are on a jury. Did they actually want to do this? Are they bored? Were they so stupid that couldn't figure out a way to get out of it?
March 8, 20214 yr I realize that it's hard to believe these days, but some people actually think it's their responsibility to contribute to society.
March 8, 20214 yr The one time I got selected for voir dire in regular JD I tried to go with the extreme burn this motherfucker answers to the prosecutors questions expecting the defense to strike me. It was an assault case, husband beat up his wife, forget the other charges. I wound up getting seated as a juror. I guess Im too stupid to get out of it.
March 8, 20214 yr Author 4 hours ago, StruggleBus said: Seriously though, I sometimes wonder about people that are on a jury. Did they actually want to do this? Are they bored? Were they so stupid that couldn't figure out a way to get out of it? I feel the exact same way about people who go on Carnival cruises. I actually have a magic card where I could get out of jury duty, so boredom is the main cause. Though I would not rule out stupid.
March 8, 20214 yr Honestly I don't get the hate towards jury duty. The one trial on which I served was really interesting, but then again I'm a John Grisham/Michael Connelly/legal thriller fan. Carnival cruises aren't bad if you have a balcony suite and spend most of your time on the spa deck. People watching is my favorite pastime. Edited March 8, 20214 yr by BearSchlong
March 8, 20214 yr 58 minutes ago, BearSchlong said: Honestly I don't get the hate towards jury duty. The one trial on which I served was really interesting, but then again I'm a John Grisham/Michael Connelly/legal thriller fan. Carnival cruises aren't bad if you have a balcony suite and spend most of your time on the spa deck. People watching is my favorite pastime. Are you unemployed?
March 8, 20214 yr Author I was interested in Carnival cruises back when they had sales from Mobile to the Yucatan, like, 200 bucks. My idea was to go down there on the ship, bust loose in some non-tourist stop like Progreso and just never get back on, take my sweet time traveling by bus on over to Mexico City then back up into Texas, then figure it out from there. I called up the office and they seemed somewhat surprised, and said they'd still have to charge me full price, but so long as I told them what I was doing it wouldn't be a problem. I'm like, 200 bucks for a couple-three nights at sea eating buffet food, why not.
March 8, 20214 yr 43 minutes ago, StruggleBus said: Are you unemployed? At that time I worked for a Fortune 100 company and was bored to tears. At my current job I'd never actually show up when summoned.
March 9, 20214 yr 5 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said: I realize that it's hard to believe these days, but some people actually think it's their responsibility to contribute to society. This. And anyone talking shit about throwing out their summons, "too stupid to get out of it," etc., had better shut the fuck up whenever there's a verdict they don't agree with.
March 9, 20214 yr Served on a US District Court Jury in 2017 for a four day trial involving a drug smuggling ring. I think the pay was $50 per day plus mileage to and from the courthouse. Better than the $20 bucks and no mileage the county pays. I thought during voir dairy I was going to get struck by the Prosecution because I was pretty much saying legalize everything. Edited March 9, 20214 yr by Nueces River Rat
March 9, 20214 yr Author 19 hours ago, Nueces River Rat said: Served on a US District Court Jury in 2017 for a four day trial involving a drug smuggling ring. I think the pay was $50 per day plus mileage to and from the courthouse. Better than the $20 bucks and no mileage the county pays. I thought during voir dairy I was going to get struck by the Prosecution because I was pretty much saying legalize everything. Well alright alright alright then. Since I'm about 3 miles from the courthouse, I'm picking up that maybe I ought to change my residence to Mom's house 90 miles away.
March 9, 20214 yr 8 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said: Well alright alright alright then. Since I'm about 3 miles from the courthouse, I'm picking up that maybe I ought to change my residence to Mom's house 90 miles away. South Austin's mom might accommodate.
March 9, 20214 yr Hard to believe some people just toss a jury summons. If I was the presiding judge I’d issue bench warrants for your fucking arrest and leave your ass in jail until you spent the time and money to hire a lawyer to get your ass out. Sorry, this is a lawyer talking and civic duty and all that.
March 10, 20214 yr I've always wanted to be on a jury but I get disqualified due to my job and state law requirements. Way too expensive for me to take off work.
March 10, 20214 yr On 3/8/2021 at 12:58 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said: I realize that it's hard to believe these days, but some people actually think it's their responsibility to contribute to society. That’s why I post on Surly. You’re welcome, society.
March 10, 20214 yr 3 hours ago, HouTex said: Hard to believe some people just toss a jury summons. If I was the presiding judge I’d issue bench warrants for your fucking arrest and leave your ass in jail until you spent the time and money to hire a lawyer to get your ass out. Sorry, this is a lawyer talking and civic duty and all that. I think that is highly more likely in federal court than in state. Federal jury summons usually result in much less of a cattle call than state.
March 10, 20214 yr 24 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said: I think that is highly more likely in federal court than in state. Federal jury summons usually result in much less of a cattle call than state. Correct. I think when I served a few years ago, the cattle call was something like 100 prospects. Went fairly quickly to get down the final number, like by noon if I recall. They were only picking one jury for a particular case where as you county/state jury selections, it involves the entire roster of District and County Courts and if you are in a larger county, the cattle call is much larger. Down here they’ve streamlined it a tad where qualifications are done ahead of time in some courts and you are assigned fhe time and date to show up for the voir dire to where if you are lucky and didn’t want to serve, hopefully a plea is accepted or in a civil case a settlement. I wonder how big the backlogs are thanks to COVID? Must be big because neither myself or my wife have received a summons since the pandemic began. Neve fails I get called several times before she gets one.
March 10, 20214 yr Author Jsyk @Nueces River Rat, supposedly "Nueces" is the one word that gets used in English a lot with the [nw] initial combo.
March 10, 20214 yr Seriously though, I sometimes wonder about people that are on a jury. Did they actually want to do this? Are they bored? Were they so stupid that couldn't figure out a way to get out of it? Thomas Jefferson said the right to a jury trial was more important than the right to vote. It is a duty in which every citizen should partake, and an important one.
March 10, 20214 yr 2 minutes ago, Gatorubet said: Thomas Jefferson said the right to a jury trial was more important than the right to vote. It is a duty in which every citizen should partake, and an important one.
March 12, 20214 yr On 3/7/2021 at 7:08 PM, RDCanecutter said: El Chapo never did anything bad to me or mine. Fixin to be some piles of plata at the casa Canecutter. Like this? (straight from San Luis Potosi)
March 12, 20214 yr On 3/8/2021 at 1:26 PM, BearSchlong said: Honestly I don't get the hate towards jury duty. The one trial on which I served was really interesting, but then again I'm a John Grisham/Michael Connelly/legal thriller fan. Carnival cruises aren't bad if you have a balcony suite and spend most of your time on the spa deck. People watching is my favorite pastime. I was selected for jury duty in Sam Sparks’ federal district court decades ago. The case was a lawsuit by some old white dude against Southwest Texas State claiming age discrimination because his old ass got passed over for promotion to some useless coffee drinking staff job. About halfway through the initial arguments that afternoon, the judge had Billy the Bailiff take us back into the jury room while the two parties did some hashing out. He was full of good courtroom war stories to keep us entertained. Funny guy. Judge Sparks stepped into the room to jaw a bit with us, laughing about how “ there is some really bad lawyering going on out there” (verbatim quote). A few minutes later when we returned to the courtroom we were dismissed because a settlement had been reached. i got a paper check several weeks later for $18. A few months after that small amusement, Billy the Bailiff was fired for making insensitive comments to a jury in the deliberation room.
March 12, 20214 yr 16 minutes ago, Armybrat said: there is some really bad lawyering going on out there Doesn't surprise me from Sparks, or a number of other judges in private. In public at the end of civil cases, though, judges are usually effusive in their praise for the lawyers that appeared and the case they put on. And many times that's when one or both sets of lawyers have been gigantic, contentious pains in the ass. I'm not 100% sure what the motivation for that is. I think it may be euphoria from having made it through a trial and maybe a desire to soften whatever blow the jury is about to or just has delivered.
March 13, 20214 yr Author 5 hours ago, Armybrat said: Like this? (straight from San Luis Potosi) That'd be more than generous sir, thank you Mr. Chapo.
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