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22% of men (incl. Kevin) don't realize that a chimp would fucking wreck them

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#851
31 minutes ago, TheStoicPaisano said:

Darth Gator.

gator named darth vader comes when his theme song is played

 

How the hell you gonna chose Garth Gator when Gator Vader is right there staring you in the face?

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#852
On 7/27/2023 at 9:46 PM, Superhero said:

I would run away from a 200 lb cougar.

110 lb cougar? Bring. It. On.

 

On 7/27/2023 at 9:46 PM, Superhero said:

I would run away from a 200 lb cougar.

110 lb cougar? Bring. It. On.

you're no Vic Mackey

#854
The muscles on a hairless chimp.

Wonder how a hairless Kevin stacks up. 

#856
Dude jumps into panda exhibit and finds out

 

#858
54 minutes ago, nnm said:
Dude jumps into panda exhibit and finds out

 

terrible take-down defense against a single-leg attack

  • 2 weeks later...
#862

Yeah, Kevin would totally hold his own in this little family spat. 

where’s the zookeeper 😭

 

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#863
1 hour ago, nnm said:

Yeah, Kevin would totally hold his own in this little family spat. 

where’s the zookeeper 😭

 

The kid in front wanted blood! 

#864
On 10/28/2023 at 1:13 PM, nnm said:
Dude jumps into panda exhibit and finds out

 

He's no Tugg Speedman.

#865
On 10/28/2023 at 1:13 PM, nnm said:
Dude jumps into panda exhibit and finds out

 

 

panda had been waiting for years for that.

 

  • 3 weeks later...
#867
3 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Baboons are something else

 

My dad was a veterinarian and ran the vet program at a zoo for a few years.  This exact thing happened to him when an assistant was supposed to tranquilize a baboon for some kind of procedure.  Either the shot didn't happen or it was too low a dose.  Either way, the baboon attacked my dad when he went into its cage and it ripped a huge chunk of his hair out and took a big bite out of his leg, as well.

I can't recall all the details as I was about 4/5 at the time. 

#868

 

Many years ago, we went on safari in Kenya. Stayed at this "Ecolodge" that was just across a river from the preserve. The rooms were just permanent tents. To get to the bar or restaurant, you had to walk outside. Baboons would come into area and fuck shit up.

The rules were:

1. Never leave anything outside your tent. It would be gone in seconds, stolen by a baboon.

2. If you wanted to walk somewhere (to the bar, your car, whatever) at night, you turned on a light, and a guy with a spear would come to escort you to protect you from the baboons.

 

None of the locals or natives were concerned about leopards, cheetahs, lions, hippos. They stayed away from anyplace with humans. Baboons however, did not GAF, and would fuck you up if you tried to scare them off, or whatever.

 

#870
10 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Baboons are something else

 

Definition of FAFO. Why did he let the baboon get that close to him?

#871
Just now, Superhero said:

Definition of FAFO. Why did he let the baboon get that close to him?

Probably had no choice.  Baboons gonna baboon.  Prob wished it was a capuchin though

  • 2 weeks later...
#873

Kevin may change his mind if the chimp has a weapon.

 

There's no way

 

#874
On 11/30/2023 at 10:20 AM, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Many years ago, we went on safari in Kenya. Stayed at this "Ecolodge" that was just across a river from the preserve. The rooms were just permanent tents. To get to the bar or restaurant, you had to walk outside. Baboons would come into area and fuck shit up.

The rules were:

1. Never leave anything outside your tent. It would be gone in seconds, stolen by a baboon.

2. If you wanted to walk somewhere (to the bar, your car, whatever) at night, you turned on a light, and a guy with a spear would come to escort you to protect you from the baboons.

 

None of the locals or natives were concerned about leopards, cheetahs, lions, hippos. They stayed away from anyplace with humans. Baboons however, did not GAF, and would fuck you up if you tried to scare them off, or whatever.

 

Sounds like a nice, relaxing vacation.  I need to check into that.

#876
1 hour ago, TheStoicPaisano said:

 

That’s very much like the Rocky/Apollo beach scene, when you can see Carl Weathers obviously running about 1/4 speed so slow-ass Sly could actually beat him.  Put an anchovy on the target and that seahawk is smokin’ RG3.

 

#882
On 10/28/2023 at 11:13 AM, nnm said:
Dude jumps into panda exhibit and finds out


 

 

 

panda gave up his back. Kevin should’ve done the rear nekkid choke

#883
On 11/30/2023 at 10:20 AM, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Many years ago, we went on safari in Kenya. Stayed at this "Ecolodge" that was just across a river from the preserve. The rooms were just permanent tents. To get to the bar or restaurant, you had to walk outside. Baboons would come into area and fuck shit up.

The rules were:

1. Never leave anything outside your tent. It would be gone in seconds, stolen by a baboon.

2. If you wanted to walk somewhere (to the bar, your car, whatever) at night, you turned on a light, and a guy with a spear would come to escort you to protect you from the baboons.

 

None of the locals or natives were concerned about leopards, cheetahs, lions, hippos. They stayed away from anyplace with humans. Baboons however, did not GAF, and would fuck you up if you tried to scare them off, or whatever.

 

What did you do the next vacation, charter a boat out of a port in Somalia?

#884
On 11/8/2023 at 2:10 PM, nnm said:

Yeah, Kevin would totally hold his own in this little family spat. 

where’s the zookeeper 😭

 

That would be the best zoo visit since watching the rhinos fuck in Denver.

#885
That would be the best zoo visit since watching the rhinos fuck in Denver.

You really are a weirdo.
#886
2 minutes ago, Nivek said:


You really are a weirdo.

Have you ever seen rhinos fuck?  It is amazing. And hilarious.

#887

Soon to be *former* reptile expert

 

Diving with this alligator in Florida Everglades This is reptile expert Chris Gillet, 📹Chris Gillett/gatorboys_chris https://t.co/xzwtHbrLJq

 

  • 2 weeks later...
#890

Honey badger DGAF

Now that's courage!pic.twitter.com/j4lICCkniz

 

#893
50 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

I don’t think that’s a honey badger. 

Honey Badger dont care

#894
58 minutes ago, huge said:

Honey Badger dont care

They could take down a couple of gazelles and zebras with half the hassle.  Juice ain’t worth the squeeze.

#898

Stakes just got raised.

Cloned rhesus monkey created to speed medical research https://t.co/F8Hp0SJOz7— BBC News (World) (@BBCWorld)

 

#899

Not only do honey badgers give no fs, they also are smarter than Kevin. 

Meet Stoffel the honey badger! He’s not only fearless but he’s also absolutely ungovernable and I love him.

 

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