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So.....trying to put together a memorial service for my mother.  Quite a few people very much want to come, and I would REALLY like for my dad to actually see how many people care, how many loved her, and how many support him.

But we are still in COVID times, at least to a degree.  Our longtime Presbyterian church is only allowing gatherings of 50, and I don't know about using the reception space.  I have an inquiry into the Catholic church affiliated with my son's school (my mother was a devout Catholic....but really crappy about attending mass, and hadn't joined a parish here in Austin).  And....she's being cremated, and we have no intention of burying her ashes, so that may preclude a Catholic funeral mass.

So, we may just have to go with a non-church space.  We just need room for 150 or so to gather -- we obviously have pastors galore who can run the service, and then we can have a reception there after.  But I'm trying to think of something nice but low-key -- we're not going to do a damned hotel ballroom or some shit like that.  We're in NW Austin, but if the right space is a drive away, we'd do it.

Just spinning my wheels, not having much luck, and getting frustrated.

How about an amphitheater?  Life Austin on 71 has a good size one that would allow for social distancing if desired.  No idea if they allow use of it for the general public or if there is a cost.  I have been to a dance recital there recently for my daughter, but am not a member there.

37 minutes ago, 1978horn said:

How about an amphitheater?  Life Austin on 71 has a good size one that would allow for social distancing if desired.  No idea if they allow use of it for the general public or if there is a cost.  I have been to a dance recital there recently for my daughter, but am not a member there.

Yeah, I'd echo that suggestion.  Apparently 1978horn and I were at the same dance recital (late April, with Synergy?).  It's a really pretty campus and can accommodate that amount easily in the amphitheater or inside and still have some breathing room for social distancing.  Parking is a breeze and it's a quick jaunt from Central Austin.  

If you want to go the Catholic route, you can "buy" your way into the parish quite easily.  Have you tried Saint Louis up your way?  I know the head priest there, he's a friend of my wife's family for decades.  I could try to email a good word for you.  Keep in mind, there is no rule nowadays (at least in most parishes) that you have to bury the ashes.  You are highly encouraged to inter them, but so long as you don't spread them...it's not a cannon violation.  you can certainly cremate her if that was her final wish.  

So sorry for your loss Brisket.  Let me know if I can help with anything in real life.  

3 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Yeah, I'd echo that suggestion.  Apparently 1978horn and I were at the same dance recital (late April, with Synergy?).  It's a really pretty campus and can accommodate that amount easily in the amphitheater or inside and still have some breathing room for social distancing.  Parking is a breeze and it's a quick jaunt from Central Austin.  

 

Nope, a different one last weekend, which to me means they are open to all kinds of events.  I would call them.  It is covered as well, so if it rains there would be some shelter.

Dammit, I was just hoping only one dance recital per year per region. this means I'll have to go to more soon, doesn't it? 

Actually, now that I think about it...that place may be too big/too pricey for Brisket's needs.  

Brisket---if you get a moment, let me know if Saint Louis or Saint John-Neumann would be workable for your needs.  

  • Author
11 hours ago, Lobo said:

Dammit, I was just hoping only one dance recital per year per region. this means I'll have to go to more soon, doesn't it? 

Actually, now that I think about it...that place may be too big/too pricey for Brisket's needs.  

Brisket---if you get a moment, let me know if Saint Louis or Saint John-Neumann would be workable for your needs.  

Sent you a couple of PMs.  Thanks, man.

Can you PM me your email and actual name.  Only because I'm gonna contact St. John Neumann for you (we're longtime members and my wife carries some sway there in helping non-members...like her husband).  And referencing you as BrisketTexan seems to be somewhat awkward.

  • Author
Can you PM me your email and actual name.  Only because I'm gonna contact St. John Neumann for you (we're longtime members and my wife carries some sway there in helping non-members...like her husband).  And referencing you as BrisketTexan seems to be somewhat awkward.

No sweat. My name....is Inigo Montoya...

Salt Lick has some nice spaces if you’re willing to spend a few bucks.

On 5/17/2021 at 4:58 PM, Brisketexan said:

So.....trying to put together a memorial service for my mother.  Quite a few people very much want to come, and I would REALLY like for my dad to actually see how many people care, how many loved her, and how many support him.

But we are still in COVID times, at least to a degree.  Our longtime Presbyterian church is only allowing gatherings of 50, and I don't know about using the reception space.  I have an inquiry into the Catholic church affiliated with my son's school (my mother was a devout Catholic....but really crappy about attending mass, and hadn't joined a parish here in Austin).  And....she's being cremated, and we have no intention of burying her ashes, so that may preclude a Catholic funeral mass.

So, we may just have to go with a non-church space.  We just need room for 150 or so to gather -- we obviously have pastors galore who can run the service, and then we can have a reception there after.  But I'm trying to think of something nice but low-key -- we're not going to do a damned hotel ballroom or some shit like that.  We're in NW Austin, but if the right space is a drive away, we'd do it.

Just spinning my wheels, not having much luck, and getting frustrated.

Posting this here instead of emailing you back because maybe others have thoughts.  Apparently it's just a widespread thing in the diocese, they don't have funeral masses and receptions at the same church.  Apparently you can only do one or the other.  Both Saint Louis and Saint John-Neumann confirmed this to me after days of getting up the ladder there.  I don't understand why.  i am genuinely baffled by this, even after I hinted that whatever donation they felt appropriate could be handled.  

For you Catholics in other cities, is that a thing?  I know for a fact that I've been to Catholic funeral masses in Chicago and the Rio Grande Valley (both Catholic strongholds that make Austin look like AAA-ball) where there was a service and you stepped over into the annex or the school gymnasium for something to eat and to laugh and cry with the family. 

If you want to still have the proper mass there after Sunday, contact that woman I connected you with.  One turnkey solution would be to have the service at SJN, then head few blocks to Rudy's.  Call ahead the day before for large catering order.  And have everyone gather in the back.  That back lawn is huge, plenty of space for 150 people.  Rudy's is more than affordable for a large group like that (comes out to less than $10/head).  Kids can have at the two big playscapes.  Bring blankets to sit on since there's only picnic table seating for several dozen.  And nobody will notice if a few cars parked nearby have coolers in the back.  

Sorry Brisket, I don't know why they waited to so long to tell me that too.  I guess they have their reasons from previous bad experiences or something.  Let me know if I can help with anything else.  I am a professional fixer, but one institution I rarely make headway with is the Catholic Church.  And again, my condolences on your mom's passing.  Hope your dad is doing okay.  

Edited by Lobo

  • Author
Just now, Lobo said:

Posting this here instead of emailing you back because maybe others have thoughts.  Apparently it's just a widespread thing in the diocese, they don't have funeral masses and receptions at the same church.  Apparently you can only do one or the other.  Both Saint Louis and Saint John-Neumann confirmed this to me after days of getting up the ladder there.  I don't understand why.  i am genuinely baffled by this, even after I hinted that whatever donation they felt appropriate could be handled.  

For you Catholics in other cities, is that a thing?  I know for a fact that I've been to Catholic funeral masses in Chicago and the Rio Grande Valley (both Catholic strongholds that make Austin look like AAA-ball) where there was a service and you stepped over into the annex or the school gymnasium for something to eat and to laugh and cry with the family.  

Sorry Brisket, I don't know why they waited to so long to tell me that too.  I guess they have their reasons from previous bad experiences or something.  Let me know if I can help with anything else.  I am a professional fixer, but one institution I rarely make headway with is the Catholic Church.  And again, my condolences on your mom's passing.  Hope your dad is doing okay.  

Curiously, we've actually got it worked out with another Catholic church -- which I won't name, as I guess I don't want to narc on them.  We are indeed doing the funeral mass and reception at the same parish.  If that IS a diocesan policy....it's a dumb one, but then, I've dealt with church hierarchy and bureaucracy in a variety of denominations, and they manage to do just as much stupid and pointless stuff as any government would do.  

We're making it happen.  It's taken some work, but we'll get there.  Thanks for your efforts, and your kind thoughts.  I owe you a beverage or three.

Glad to hear that.  Maybe it's just the more "white people" parishes like the ones I was negotiating with for you.  Maybe you found one in Austin that's more amenable to "nuestro gente."  Rich, white Catholics are freakin' lame.  Gimme the Irish and Mexican catholics I grew up with in Chicago.  If you weren't already drunk when the mass started, you were the one being disrespectful. 

Happy to help, you don't owe me anything.  But I'm not gonna lie on a thread about death and say free alcohol doesn't taste better.  

I don't know if it could be reserved on short notice, but the Ladybird Johnson Wildflower Center is a beautiful space.  My wife and I had our wedding and reception there.  It's not cheap, but might be more reasonable for a couple of hours during the day.

Edited by dcbc

I don't know if it could be reserved on short notice, but the Ladybird Johnson Wildflower Center is a beautiful space.  My wife and I had our wedding and reception there.  It's not cheap, but might be more reasonable for a couple of hours during the day.

I’ve been to a wedding there and it is nice. I hope it wasn’t yours because that guy was an asshole.
9 hours ago, Updawg said:


I’ve been to a wedding there and it is nice. I hope it wasn’t yours because that guy was an asshole.

We got married there, and I'm an asshole.  

On 5/28/2021 at 9:26 PM, Updawg said:


I’ve been to a wedding there and it is nice. I hope it wasn’t yours because that guy was an asshole.

I've been called worse.  But I don't think that was I.

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