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Featured Replies

My wife got backyard chicken earlier this year. One of them has turned out to be a rooster. It is free to a bad home. 

Just kill it. Nobody wants a rooster, and anyone that needs one probably already has one. 
 

raise it for meat if it’s not too loud.  

I'm sure there is a minor league first baseman with a cursed glove somewhere.

Let me understand, you got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So who’s having sex with the hen?

8 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Just kill it.  

You know he ain't gonna die
No, no, no, you know he ain't gonna die

8 hours ago, hornian said:

I don’t practice Santeria. 

and you clearly ain't got no crystal ball

2 hours ago, Amos Moses said:

Let me understand, you got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So who’s having sex with the hen?

That’s perverse.

  • Author
15 minutes ago, deadshank said:

Your wife paid for cock?

What’s wrong with yours?

It keeps putting babies in her. 

7 hours ago, elfenix said:

and you clearly ain't got no crystal ball

He had a million dollars but his, his wife spent it all (on chickens).

Edited by ztejas

  • Author
7 hours ago, JohnnyRage said:

Does it happen to be black?

Yep. It’s a big black cock. No homo. 

Wasn’t there a poster with the username Rooster? I thought this was about him.

  • Author
18 hours ago, KaiserSoze said:

Is it housebroken?

If you don’t care about getting chickenshit everywhere, yes. 

Many years ago my grandfather wanted to raise pigs.  Captured what he thought were 5 sows.... Well, one wasn't.  3 years later he had like 60 pigs.  Granny was not amused.  

/CSB

On 7/10/2021 at 7:19 AM, hornian said:

Yep. It’s a big black cock. No homo. 

I went to lowes for some black caulk.  Asking the lady in the paint department had the same effect.

On 7/12/2021 at 10:37 AM, EvilCaseMcCoy said:

I went to lowes for some black caulk.  Asking the lady in the paint department had the same effect.

Have also done this.   Also, more recently than I care to admit, I used the term hand job while trying to convey some intricate work done by hand on a board call.  Pretty sure I was the only one who chuckled audibly. 

Well the rooster he got 20 gals, bet he’s happy as a lark. Wake ‘em in the morning, put ‘em all to bed at dark. 

  • Author

Turns out 2 more the "hens" are also roosters. 

Also found out that the place the eggs were from will take the roosters back and give us hatchlings in return. So that's the plan. 

I'm tired of these literal 6:30 a.m. wake up calls, gotta get these damn birds sent to the farm. 

  • Author
3 hours ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Lol, did she buy straight run chicks?

No clue. We got hatchlings when they were 6-8 weeks old from a friend of the wife who hatched them, not from a store with guaranteed hens. She (the friend) had no idea the sex of the chickens. But the place the eggs came from will take them back. 

3 hours ago, hornian said:

Turns out 2 more the "hens" are also roosters. 

Also found out that the place the eggs were from will take the roosters back and give us hatchlings in return. So that's the plan. 

I'm tired of these literal 6:30 a.m. wake up calls, gotta get these damn birds sent to the farm. 

I don’t recommend you go to Key West for vacation. 
Eat the roosters. You’re going to trade an adult rooster for a baby rooster. Bad trade, amigo. 

  • Author
4 hours ago, Moby Ric said:

How many HDMI ports does your rooster have?

Like, 7? 8? I don't know. Whatever it takes to get the damn things out of my yard.

So you are basically taking the chicks, feeding/raising them and then returning them full grown for another chick? If you decide to do that with cows or pigs let me know.

  • Author
16 minutes ago, EE2B said:

So you are basically taking the chicks, feeding/raising them and then returning them full grown for another chick? If you decide to do that with cows or pigs let me know.

My wife is in charge, so I'll give her your screen name if she decides to go that route. 

2 minutes ago, hornian said:

My wife is in charge, so I'll give her your screen name if she decides to go that route. 

Does she know what a straight run of chicks is?

nevermind, I read above. 

Edited by Pato del Muerto

  • Author
4 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Does she know what a straight run of chicks is?

nevermind, I read above. 

I didn't marry her for her homesteading knowledge. Laura Ingalls Wilder, she is not. 

On 7/19/2021 at 12:26 PM, hornian said:

Turns out 2 more the "hens" are also roosters. 

 

How do you know that they are cocks?

Edited by Bevo

  • 1 month later...
On 7/21/2021 at 11:55 AM, Bevo said:

How do you know that they are cocks?

Easy, by their foreskin.

CHIEF

Are you sure it was a rooster and not a hen that identifies as a rooster? Did you ask the rooster for their pronouns before you jumped to conclusions?

On 7/19/2021 at 12:26 PM, hornian said:

 

I'm tired of these literal 6:30 a.m. wake up calls, gotta get these damn birds sent to the farm. 

image.gif.25a8bc5d2d1c784819b114377f152b7a.gif

If you haven’t killed him yet, he’s a pet now. Name him Andrew. 

I assume you meant Andrews?675f4b81de8a6f5594fe6e35d3318bf0.jpg
1 hour ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Andrews isn’t a first name, bro. 

it's 2021.  any name can appear in any order!

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