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Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread

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I will just go ahead and say it. This guy fucks. 

He’s clearly  been studying college football stats since the age of two. He got an economics degree from Harvard at the age of 13. He did his post-graduate work at the London School of Economics. His doctoral thesis is studied by every serious football analyst worth their salt. 

I want this quant analyzing my team and predicting world domination
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  • Haven't seen this posted.  Saw it on the rant, anybody hear/see this?  

  • Armybrat
    Armybrat

    He is wearing a toupee to cover the severe burn scars all over his head.  He was shot down while piloting his helicopter in Vietnam in 1968. It caught on fire, burning off his nose, ears, hair, and

  • Congrats to all Teams 

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I love how they think our defense is going to be worse than last year when we return 5 stars on every level and addressed our only weak spot 5 times over from the portal with P4 players. We could easily lose the OSU game and then run the table to Georgia, though I think our QB play is going to be light years better moving from Ewers and his shitty RZ playmaking abilities to a true DT QB with a better and more accurate arm. Let's not forget that Sarkisian had to take the ball out of Ewers's hands completely in the 2H after the back to back TOs. That easily could have been 31-0 or worse if our QB didn't shit the bed completely.

11 minutes ago, HtownHorn said:

I love how they think our defense is going to be worse than last year...

It's been the same since time immemorial. Whoever we lose is always irreplaceable (although they said the same exact players were overrated while they were here) and anyone new they have will automatically be an upgrade.  During the offseason, they will always predict our demise and their ascension no matter the circumstances. 

2 hours ago, closetojumping said:

How many paint chips does one have to consume in order to look at the Texas 2025 schedule and say out loud "yeah, that's an easy schedule"? These posters are a special form of stupid.

SoS rankings for 2025:

  1. Florida
  2. Vanderbilt
  3. Oklahoma
  4. Texas
  5. Arkansas
  6. Mississippi State
  7. Kentucky
  8. Georgia
  9. Texas A&M
  10. Alabama
  11. Louisiana State
  12. Wisconsin
  13. South Carolina
  14. Auburn
  15. Tennessee
29 minutes ago, satyanash said:

SoS rankings for 2025:

  1. Florida
  2. Vanderbilt
  3. Oklahoma
  4. Texas
  5. Arkansas
  6. Mississippi State
  7. Kentucky
  8. Georgia
  9. Texas A&M
  10. Alabama
  11. Louisiana State
  12. Wisconsin
  13. South Carolina
  14. Auburn
  15. Tennessee

Did Wisconsin join the SEC in the offseason?

3 minutes ago, HtownHorn said:

Did Wisconsin join the SEC in the offseason?

Those are rankings for all FBS schools. Wisconsin is the only non-SEC team in the top 15, because they play Alabama in Tuscaloosa this year.

Just now, satyanash said:

Those are rankings for all FBS schools. Wisconsin is the only non-SEC team in the top 15, because they play Alabama in Tuscaloosa this year.

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aggy #9, yet still don't play Georgia, and miss Bama. ok. 

7 minutes ago, Deej said:

aggy #9, yet still don't play Georgia, and miss Bama. ok. 

Well, they DO play Texas, and so does every other team in the top 9 not named Texas, so...

 

 

Edited by utee94

yes, Sark is famously a guy who abandons his QBs at the first sign of trouble, even when all of the Texas message boards are united in full support and preaching patience

4 hours ago, Deej said:

aggy #9, yet still don't play Georgia, and miss Bama. ok. 

It’s like Aggy would pull down their sos ranking 

Just now, utfan87 said:

It’s like Aggy would pull down their sos ranking 

GIF by Giphy QA

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You got a good head on shoulders. You're the sanest guy on the thread. Call Hollywood and make millions.

 

Edited by RomaVicta

1 hour ago, Updawg said:

Stocking?

I think that's one of their traditional hilarious misspellinks. Or the guy's another idiot. Hard to say.

1 hour ago, General Specific said:


Well, they do have a Krogers on campus!

And if you can't find it, at least 47 good ags will happily give you instructions on how to get there!

And if you can't find it, at least 47 good ags will happily give you instructions on how to get there!

I’ll have you know after being directed to, and experiencing the best Krogers ever!, that all my kids have decided to give up their local Randalls, HEB and the like, and are now committed to THAT Kroger! Respect their decision!
13 hours ago, Longhornfrenzy said:

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I read every post in every screenshot, and I still can't even tell what fucking "information" was actually leaked. Elko thinks someone fast in the secondary is locked in? Texas A&M leads for some guy? What exactly are these little sensitive princesses all up in arms about?

  • Author
Just now, SydneyCarton said:

I read every post in every screenshot, and I still can't even tell what fucking "information" was actually leaked. Elko thinks someone fast in the secondary is locked in? Texas A&M leads for some guy? What exactly are these little sensitive princesses all up in arms about?

Sounds like (and I hate that I took the time to parse this), the son of an Aggie booster is an Oregon fan and is leaking A&M NIL numbers to the Oregon money.

20 minutes ago, texifornia said:

Sounds like (and I hate that I took the time to parse this), the son of an Aggie booster is an Oregon fan and is leaking A&M NIL numbers to the Oregon money.

Yeah but...if Oregon offers low, and the kids family/agent counters...they'll sort of have an idea of the fucking numbers. 

Your thinking does not align with cult paranoia and vindictiveness.

The data dump should come any day now.

14 minutes ago, RomaVicta said:

Your thinking does not align with cult paranoia and vindictiveness.

The data dump should come any day now.

Aggie: "The best I can for this new car is $55,000 all in."
Salesman: "My Boss says the best we can do is $58,000."
Aggie: "Holy shit, you should tell your boss what a fucking idiot he is for giving away the best offer."

On 6/8/2025 at 4:37 AM, MontereyMX said:

what is "the blues in Spades?"

It should be sadness in abundance in normal parlance but with Ags who the fuck knows?

  • Author
1 hour ago, Park Gothic said:

Dude looks hung over as fuck. NTTAWWT. 

That's when I've done some of my best work, to be fair.

4 hours ago, texifornia said:

"aura"

 

Gen 1 airpod.  Released 9 years ago.  I'm sure the youth are impressed.  

 

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1 hour ago, Gut Wagon said:

SIAP

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Fake news.  TAMU was founded in 1871.

13 minutes ago, nnm said:

Fake news.  TAMU was founded in 1871.

The trash can was also invented before 1995. 

On 6/18/2025 at 1:25 PM, texifornia said:

"aura"

 

But what about that huge chancre on his left cheek?

Haha those idiots will never learn. 😂

Where are the butthurt UT fans and insiders crying about Aggie cheating? I haven't seen one post to that effect. Admittedly, I’m not an insider except tree fiddy club here. 

2 hours ago, Scholz said:

Haha those idiots will never learn. 😂

I haz tears... 

The most delicious thing about the new mythos they have created is that we are upset about their class. I don't recall anyone on Surly doing anything but mocking it. YET, it's already become canon and now, it will be added to every off season roller-coaster queue.

So fucking glorious. 

Also on the last page one thing cause my eye in their Watergate deep throat "investigation". Who the fuck runs a business using an AOL email?Screenshot_20250619_180453_Chrome.thumb.jpg.954a761921b7911941eaf1fd9598f638.jpg

Edited by BurntEyes

31 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

I haz tears... 

The most delicious thing is the new mythos they have created is that we are upset about their class. I don't recall anyone on Surly doing anything but mocking it. YET, it's already become cannon and now, it will be added to every off season roller-coaster queue.

So fucking glorious. 

Also on the last page one thing cause my eye in their Watergate deep throat "investigation". Who the fuck runs a business using an AOL email?Screenshot_20250619_180453_Chrome.thumb.jpg.954a761921b7911941eaf1fd9598f638.jpg

*canon

Schools getting a bump in recruiting during a new coach's first full cycle is normal. If Elko finishes with a top 5 class, my hat's off to him. Good job leveraging your employer's NIL and selling playing time, a new vision for the program, and whatever else a new coach sells.

The problem for them is that one year of recruiting momentum won't be enough. Marcel Reed is not the answer at quarterback.

Strange that they perceive using NIL as cheating. What looks stranger is when a program  with no recent history in the modern world of winning, recruits a top 5 class. Recruits are not committing to a wining culture that’s clearly absent from their hall of champions. But as long as their payment structure is declared within the NIL framework, they’re legal. However, we all know that aggies have a more recent history of lying and cheating, with more probationary records than championships, including conference. And when it’s all said and done, they’ll have to prove it on the field, and that’s where their culture gets expensive. 

2 hours ago, nnm said:

Where are the butthurt UT fans and insiders crying about Aggie cheating? I haven't seen one post to that effect. Admittedly, I’m not an insider except tree fiddy club here. 

Well, you’re not reading the posts of one @BurntOrange&White and the esteemed @satyanash, clearly. 
 

also, what idiot would accuse them of cheating? What they’re doing isn’t cheating. Stupid, sure. Cheating, no. 

10 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

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canon-law.jpg

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