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36 minutes ago, Doc Reeves said:

 

Really? I’m standing net to a bama alum as we speak before an (outdoor, cold and shitty) wedding and he thought that was funny. 

 

 

Outdoor wedding in the middle of February? Yeah that's an Alabama education all right

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1 hour ago, Capt. Squints said:

Auburn is actually a very good school. Tim Cook (CEO of Apple), a bunch of astronauts, Generals, etc. are grads. This is coming from a Bama guy, so, of course, we're all painted with the *inbred* brush by the UT Ivies, but you would be very wrong.

I always thought of Au-barn as the aggy of AL.

 shooting star GIF

 

I don't know if you want to be touting Tim Cook. There's been 0 innovation, a decline in quality, and maxed out price gouging under under his watch. 

13 minutes ago, Hermanator said:

Outdoor wedding in the middle of February? Yeah that's an Alabama education all right

They’ve got a tent. With about 50k in flowers in it and two big heaters so were all hanging out watching these flowers die. Sure, maybe you’re not into flowers but its kinda like watching someone set a new suburban on fire. You just gotta grab a beer and watch.

1 hour ago, Capt. Squints said:

Auburn is actually a very good school. Tim Cook (CEO of Apple), a bunch of astronauts, Generals, etc. are grads. This is coming from a Bama guy, so, of course, we're all painted with the *inbred* brush by the UT Ivies, but you would be very wrong.

Rebuttal: Perfesser Petee.

Worked with guy that played for Bama and he said Auburn was actually an acronym for

Alabama

Usually 

Beats

Us

Red

Necks

37 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

You're marrying a dude, from Bama? And you didn't invite me?

Sorry, it’s a cash bar. Things are a little tight now with Tim breaking away from the firm and starting his own practice, but he’s already promised me a tin anniversary in Turks and Caicos and, don’t worry, everyone- everyone is going to be there. We can hit up playa del Carmen in a couple and catch up tho. Have you’re girl call my barely legal assistant.

Edited by Doc Reeves

27 minutes ago, DFW Horn said:

I always thought of Au-barn as the aggy of AL.

 shooting star GIF

 

That's an easy assumption to make both ways. I thought Aggy would be the Auburn of Texas when I accepted a job there. You could have heard my mind snapping all the way down Highway 6. If the Westboro Baptist Church bought Auburn and ran it for 100 years with the willing support of half the state, Auburn might = Aggy. Aggy is just that much more weird than anyplace I have been.

38 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

That's an easy assumption to make both ways. I thought Aggy would be the Auburn of Texas when I accepted a job there. You could have heard my mind snapping all the way down Highway 6. If the Westboro Baptist Church bought Auburn and ran it for 100 years with the willing support of half the state, Auburn might = Aggy. Aggy is just that much more weird than anyplace I have been.

If you’ve spent time on campus at both you’d know that this is the true true. 

spectacular thread.  A Surly Classic.

3 hours ago, Capt. Squints said:

I'm not peddling anything, so why don't you help yourself to a bowl of fuck.

Just out of curiosity, and strictly asking for a friend, how would one go about obtaining a big bowl of fuck if one so desired?

2 minutes ago, Horn Dog said:

Just out of curiosity, and strictly asking for a friend, how would one go about obtaining a big bowl of fuck if one so desired?

I believe they’re in the cereal isle.

Aisle have you no that’s nawt troo.  I’ve looked. 

21 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Aisle have you no that’s nawt troo.  I’ve looked. 

I was referring to Cereal Island, dumbass.

4 hours ago, Capt. Squints said:

I'm not peddling anything, so why don't you help yourself to a bowl of fuck.

You seem dumb, motherfucker. Not really helping your point. 

42 minutes ago, South Austin said:

I was referring to Cereal Island, dumbass.

He went to Auburn. They’re usually smarter than that. 
 

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18 hours ago, Horn Dog said:

Just out of curiosity, and strictly asking for a friend, how would one go about obtaining a big bowl of fuck if one so desired?

I believe you just call Magnolia Thunderpussy, right?

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21 hours ago, RDCanecutter said:

That's an easy assumption to make both ways. I thought Aggy would be the Auburn of Texas when I accepted a job there. You could have heard my mind snapping all the way down Highway 6. If the Westboro Baptist Church bought Auburn and ran it for 100 years with the willing support of half the state, Auburn might = Aggy. Aggy is just that much more weird than anyplace I have been.

My sister lived many years in Austin but was never UT fan and pulled for any underdog teams they played.  However after she moved to College Station, she said the same about it being more weird than anyplace because everyone there was so over the top Texas A&M 24/7.  She said every time she had to show her diver’s license with her old Austin address, she got snide comments.  It got to the point that she despised College Station so much that she started wearing Longhorn clothing just to annoy the cult.  She moved after being there three years because she couldn’t stand the place.  Listening to her rant is amusing and never gets old.

20 hours ago, South Austin said:

I believe they’re in the cereal isle.

Except Walmart. For the life of me I can’t figure out why they refuse to put Fruity Fuck-o’s with Fuckberries on their shelves. 

On 2/12/2022 at 12:24 PM, Hermanator said:

Outdoor wedding in the middle of February? Yeah that's an Alabama education all right


so, just to follow up on the off topic wedding I was at because I don’t know where else to put this. 
 

CSB

The wedding was in Alamo Heights and if you’re not aware, their cops are… let’s say “strict”. A younger guest was not aware and as they were walking to their car completely shitfaced one of the AHPD officers working the party (who happened to be Hispanic) said “hey! You, buddy! You can’t drive. You guys! (Pointing to Guys friends and GF walking behind him a little) Don’t let him get get in his car. Take his keys now!!”

This embarrassed Young Guest so he turned and in a cheeky tone said “Pfft, aren’t you a little far from the boarder?”

Welp, that was that. Young Guest got tackled, face shoved into the ground and cop made sure to put the cuffs on extra tight in front of the entire party. Hard to say, but there was talk that pepper spay may have been used as Young Guest was swearing and trying to roll around/resisting. Regardless, that’s not something you wanna do. So, 4 patrol cars and the paddy wagon showed up and hauled his ass off. I asked the guy I know from bama if the young guy went there too. He said “shit, I don’t know. Probably.” 

It also took him extra long to bond out being a Sunday and for some reason his bail hearing kept getting pushed back. Weird. 

DOUG SAMUELS.      FEB 13, 2022

Bryan Harsin is losing another coordinator

Auburn special teams coordinator Bert Watts is reportedly leaving The Plains for an opportunity in the NFL.

Auburn's Bryan Harsin may have gotten the good news that he'd be returning to The Plains last week, but as Super Bowl kickoff nears word is he will be losing another coach.

This past off season Harsin has had to hire guys to replace coordinators on both sides of the ball, and is working on his second offensive coordinator hire of the off season after the hire of Austin Davis didn't work out.

Now, special teams coordinator / outside linebackers coach Bert Watts is reportedly on the move.

Multiple outlets have shared that Watts is joining the Denver Broncos staff as outside linebackers coach. Dan Graziano first reported the move. 

Before joining Harsin's staff at Auburn, Watts served as the defensive coordinator at Fresno State and UC Davis (FCS).

While at Fresno State in 2018, Watts led a unit that ranked third nationally in scoring defense, giving up just more than two touchdowns a game while ranking among the top ten units nationally in a number of other key categories as well.

Watts also held the associate head coach title for the Tigers.

Broncos head coach Nathaniel Hackett, who coached college football on Doug Marrone's staff at Syracuse for a few seasons, has filled a few of the positions on his staff with college coaches already.  

22 hours ago, Doc Reeves said:


so, just to follow up on the off topic wedding I was at because I don’t know where else to put this. 
 

CSB

The wedding was in Alamo Heights and if you’re not aware, their cops are… let’s say “strict”. A younger guest was not aware and as they were walking to their car completely shitfaced one of the AHPD officers working the party (who happened to be Hispanic) said “hey! You, buddy! You can’t drive. You guys! (Pointing to Guys friends and GF walking behind him a little) Don’t let him get get in his car. Take his keys now!!”

This embarrassed Young Guest so he turned and in a cheeky tone said “Pfft, aren’t you a little far from the boarder?”

Welp, that was that. Young Guest got tackled, face shoved into the ground and cop made sure to put the cuffs on extra tight in front of the entire party. Hard to say, but there was talk that pepper spay may have been used as Young Guest was swearing and trying to roll around/resisting. Regardless, that’s not something you wanna do. So, 4 patrol cars and the paddy wagon showed up and hauled his ass off. I asked the guy I know from bama if the young guy went there too. He said “shit, I don’t know. Probably.” 

It also took him extra long to bond out being a Sunday and for some reason his bail hearing kept getting pushed back. Weird. 

*border

3 hours ago, qwertyu1234 said:

*border

Maybe it was a Shawn White reference. 

This will get even more Auburn before it's all over. I don't know how. I don't have any insider knowledge. It's just a feeling you get.

23 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

Clesi is still listed on the AU athletic staff directory 

The real victim in all this. I hope she gets paid a shitload of money.

1 minute ago, Cheeseweasel said:

The real victim in all this. I hope she gets paid a shitload of money.

No shit, she got dragged through the mud along w/ Harsin.  Not sure who's going to pay out that money though, for anonymous internet rumors.  Now if she got fired OTOH...

8 minutes ago, Horn of Gabriel said:

 Not sure who's going to pay out 

Onlyfans.

But seriously...

She's untouchable now. If they fire her, she'll sue them, and they know it. "Hush and Go Away" money would be smart if your Auburn. But we all know they aren't. 

On 2/14/2022 at 11:06 AM, Doc Reeves said:

Welp, that was that. Young Guest got tackled, face shoved into the ground and cop made sure to put the cuffs on extra tight in front of the entire party. Hard to say, but there was talk that pepper spay may have been used as Young Guest was swearing and trying to roll around/resisting. Regardless, that’s not something you wanna do. So, 4 patrol cars and the paddy wagon showed up and hauled his ass off. I asked the guy I know from bama if the young guy went there too. He said “shit, I don’t know. Probably.” 

Part of any good liberal arts education is a commitment to lifelong learning. Sounds like Young Guest got a semester's worth compressed into one weekend.

7 hours ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

This will get even more Auburn before it's all over. I don't know how. I don't have any insider knowledge. It's just a feeling you get.

They'll fly in a replacement Clesi on a private jet.

11 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

Part of any good liberal arts education is a commitment to lifelong learning. Sounds like Young Guest got a semester's worth compressed into one weekend.


One would think, but I have it on good authority that young guest woke up in jail drunk tank with absolutely no memory of his actions. Definitely has the “this is ridiculous!” attitude right now. 
 

also might lose a noticeable tooth. Poor tooth. being stuck in such a stupid head..

15 minutes ago, Doc Reeves said:


One would think, but I have it on good authority that young guest woke up in jail drunk tank with absolutely no memory of his actions. Definitely has the “this is ridiculous!” attitude right now. 
 

also might lose a noticeable tooth. Poor tooth. being stuck in such a stupid head..

Ah, he's a light-weight drinker as well as a Do-You-Know-Who-I-Am. Probably will opt for a conformist zirconium tooth instead of an awesome gold one.

I'm guessing KA. Tell me he's KA.

46 minutes ago, Royale with cheese said:

Delta Tau Chi

Maybe his mind snapped after his girlfriend started extra credit sessions with Professor Jennings.

1 hour ago, RDCanecutter said:

Ah, he's a light-weight drinker as well as a Do-You-Know-Who-I-Am. Probably will opt for a conformist zirconium tooth instead of an awesome gold one.

I'm guessing KA. Tell me he's KA.

Hey! I was a KA!

37 minutes ago, lateshow said:

Hey! I was a KA!

Thank you for your service, Sir.

I was supposed to be a KA, but as my presence was required on the plantation, Father hired a substitute.

On 2/14/2022 at 10:33 PM, LTtxfan said:

DOUG SAMUELS.      FEB 13, 2022

Bryan Harsin is losing another coordinator

Auburn special teams coordinator Bert Watts is reportedly leaving The Plains for an opportunity in the NFL.

Auburn's Bryan Harsin may have gotten the good news that he'd be returning to The Plains last week, but as Super Bowl kickoff nears word is he will be losing another coach.

This past off season Harsin has had to hire guys to replace coordinators on both sides of the ball, and is working on his second offensive coordinator hire of the off season after the hire of Austin Davis didn't work out.

Now, special teams coordinator / outside linebackers coach Bert Watts is reportedly on the move.

Multiple outlets have shared that Watts is joining the Denver Broncos staff as outside linebackers coach. Dan Graziano first reported the move. 

Before joining Harsin's staff at Auburn, Watts served as the defensive coordinator at Fresno State and UC Davis (FCS).

While at Fresno State in 2018, Watts led a unit that ranked third nationally in scoring defense, giving up just more than two touchdowns a game while ranking among the top ten units nationally in a number of other key categories as well.

Watts also held the associate head coach title for the Tigers.

Broncos head coach Nathaniel Hackett, who coached college football on Doug Marrone's staff at Syracuse for a few seasons, has filled a few of the positions on his staff with college coaches already.  

3e0h3r.png

They'll fly in a replacement Clesi on a private jet.

They’ll fly a private jet to recruit Bobby Petrino’s former mistress to replace her.
27 minutes ago, Bama Chick said:


They’ll fly a private jet to recruit Bobby Petrino’s former mistress to replace her.

Which would be a total Auburn move, given Clesi's obvious superiority to Arkansas motorcycle ballast.

29 minutes ago, Bama Chick said:


They’ll fly a private jet to recruit Bobby Petrino’s former mistress to replace her.

Pictured: the boosters behind the failed koo day tah

 1k5sh6.jpg

  • 2 months later...
7 minutes ago, Parliament said:

So what all came of this?  Nothing? 

Maybe The Real Treasure Was the Friends We Made Along the Way.

Edited by TheRealRonWeaver?

36 minutes ago, Parliament said:

So what all came of this?  Nothing? 

Other than Harsin?

8 hours ago, Parliament said:

So what all came of this?  Nothing? 

Wait till they drop 3 games in a row 

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