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With all the hilarious derailments kept going for just for the joy of being humorously annoying makes this thread just as fun as a romp through Texags.

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  • Wulaw Horn
    Wulaw Horn

    I didn’t see it started. The fall camp is nothing but beer talk.  We’ve got our QB named.  We are healthy-ish.  We have substantial talent at every level on the defense.  We have a plus offensiv

  • remember this will be Sark's first game without being drunk as head coach. good luck and don't turtle.

  • South Austin
    South Austin

    And nobody will make a joke about my mom.

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51 minutes ago, totallynotabuttpirate said:

Jesus, you 75 degree thermostat guys need to be more active, get your blood flowing and body temp up.  I keep my AC between 70-71 during the day, 67 degrees at night. Any warmer and I'm hot. Wife complains about it constantly though. Working on taking over the whole upstairs so I can keep it cold without her suffering. 

Opposite direction for me. I’m a great big fat guy and I want it 70 degrees. 

5 hours ago, nineliveslost said:

There you go again. Upstairs AND downstairs !!😁

Probably have a pool also...

A pool and a pond. A pond would be good for you. Natural spring water.

4 hours ago, Snacks said:

shiiiiit... it'll be 86k announced, but the searing 3:30pm heat will have that shit empty. 

It’ll be announced a sell out but there will be empty seats of course

29 minutes ago, taybo20 said:

It’ll be announced a sell out but there will be empty seats of course

A comfortable lead at halftime would thin out the crowd a lot more.

1 hour ago, Knighthawk said:

Raise your hand if you’ve had a swim in the lbj fountain.    

Naked?

4 minutes ago, Bevo said:

Naked?

You ever seen a grown man naked? 

Not a yellow man with a carrot top haircut. But, I don't want to.

1 hour ago, tantric superman said:

Both.

User name checks out 

Interior thermostat talk not going away!

You fuckers that keep it hot (> 73 degrees), clearly don’t drink bourbon. 

5 hours ago, Red Five said:

This happened to me in a previous life when I was married. Came home after work and the power was out. "Oh I guess I haven't paid it in awhile". Yeah she hadn't paid it in like four months.

Back when you could emulate satelite receivers/cards I had a girlfriend whose only bill to pay was the directv. When she fucked that up it totally fucked up my emulation scheme. I was getting every local channel in the country and free porn, so my pic in pic game was off the charts. She got bounced out of the house, shortly there after. Worthless bitch. 

I will be happy if we get to 30 and hold them in the teens. Anything less will give me concern.

In all honesty, this should be an easy win. We have much more talent than them, we just need top notch coaching (because they have that). It’s just been a decade since we have seen good Texas football, so I’ll still believe it when I see it. But this video was the best hype video I saw for the season. I hope the Homer is right. 
 

 

6 hours ago, Red Five said:

This happened to me in a previous life when I was married. Came home after work and the power was out. "Oh I guess I haven't paid it in awhile". Yeah she hadn't paid it in like four months.

Mine was worse. Wife got a call from The Electric Company telling her that our power was about to be shut off in the next four hours for failure to pay the bill. If she wanted to avoid disconnection, they'd be happy to take her payment info over the phone. 

Thankfully she paid with a credit card, so that we could dispute the fraudulent charges and get the money back. 

39 minutes ago, Hornlover said:

Mine was worse. Wife got a call from The Electric Company telling her that our power was about to be shut off in the next four hours for failure to pay the bill. If she wanted to avoid disconnection, they'd be happy to take her payment info over the phone. 

Thankfully she paid with a credit card, so that we could dispute the fraudulent charges and get the money back. 

Man, utility fraud would be some next level Frank Abagnale shit

1 hour ago, jinx said:

I will be happy if we get to 30 and hold them in the teens. Anything less will give me concern.

In all honesty, this should be an easy win. We have much more talent than them, we just need top notch coaching (because they have that). It’s just been a decade since we have seen good Texas football, so I’ll still believe it when I see it. But this video was the best hype video I saw for the season. I hope the Homer is right. 
 

 

That “hype” video is putting me to sleep

 

1 minute ago, texifornia said:

 

 

Napier Apparently said that Humphrey listed as questionable was a mistake 

Rubio was a starter at OL for seven games last year, and isn’t listed in the depth chart 

To be honest, I can't remember the last time I personally paid a bill. The better half handles all that. I couldn't even begin to guess what it is.

You don’t know what your expenses are?
My people are from Norway. 
I found out much later in my life that grandma and grandpa were swingers. 
your story checks out from my personal knowledge of the situation. 

0bffdf7ce611376e0882d9e602708f09.gif
5 minutes ago, ShowmeyourTDs said:

spacer.png

What's a ZJ?

I’m going to be at a house music festival in Chicago absolutely tripping my dick off around kickoff. If I look at my phone to see we lost I might actually have a seizure. Don’t be a murderer, Sark.

  • Popular Post
10 minutes ago, Hank_Hill said:

I’m going to be at a house music festival in Chicago absolutely tripping my dick off around kickoff. If I look at my phone to see we lost I might actually have a seizure. Don’t be a murderer, Sark.

And those motherfuckers have the audacity to say our fans don't care?!?!

11 minutes ago, Droopy said:

And those motherfuckers have the audacity to say our fans don't care?!?!

Right before kickoff I'm going to be arriving at a masquerade orgy party catered by Jason's Deli. If I look at my phone to see we're down at halftime I might lose my focus and poke someone's eye out with my wang. Hope Sark can live with that on his conscience.

Man what are the odds of us attending the same function 

23 minutes ago, Hank_Hill said:

Man what are the odds of us attending the same function 

Wear safety goggles. 

Speaking as a guy who lives in San Diego, I just gotta ask...

...what's Air Conditioning?

8 hours ago, Enchubben said:

A pool and a pond. A pond would be good for you. Natural spring water. 

 

 

Team tightwad crew. Thermostat at 77 don’t touch it or I break hands 

2 minutes ago, Sgt Hulk said:

Team tightwad crew. Thermostat at 77 don’t touch it or I break hands 

Are You High Debra Messing GIF by filmeditor

Right before kickoff I'm going to be arriving at a masquerade orgy party catered by Jason's Deli. If I look at my phone to see we're down at halftime I might lose my focus and poke someone's eye out with my wang. Hope Sark can live with that on his conscience.

Muff-a-lotta. Niceeeeee.
1 hour ago, Sgt Hulk said:

Team tightwad crew. Thermostat at 77 don’t touch it or I break hands 

Wow.  I'm guessing you only let your family flush the toilets in your house once a day.

6 hours ago, ztejas said:

Right before kickoff I'm going to be arriving at a masquerade orgy party catered by Jason's Deli. If I look at my phone to see we're down at halftime I might lose my focus and poke someone's eye out with my wang. Hope Sark can live with that on his conscience.

 

9863F2DF-6C5E-4459-BC25-F5408ED8ADFF.jpeg

Looks like the starting C gained some weight.  Listed at 288 lb

You would too if you lived in a town with Prejean’s and Don’s Seafood.
25 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down.

Understand Captain America GIF

They have a 283lb kicker, and this guy snapping the ball to him:

f5dc4423f4f1b86c66058f03e4095183.jpg

Dammit Bobby

7 hours ago, Hank_Hill said:

I’m going to be at a house music festival in Chicago absolutely tripping my dick off around kickoff. If I look at my phone to see we lost I might actually have a seizure. Don’t be a murderer, Sark.

Ooo.  Username does not check out.

OL shuffle, at least per their depth chart; their starting LT is out (their QB is left handed, so he's their second best tackle), and they moved their LG to LT, and the replacement guard is a third year guy who's only played one game in his first two seasons 

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