September 4, 20214 yr Popular Post Surliest of assholes, today is the day we have been waiting for since December 30th of 2020. Lets start with the weather forecast today, then talk about what to expect from our first game of the year. As you can clearly see its going to be hot as fuck. Field temps around kickoff are expected to be over 100 degrees. What's this though, the major prediction is there is major gorilla boofing expected? What is gorilla boofing you may find yourself asking. Gorilla Boofing (ɡəˈrilə buu'fing) verb - getting violently butt fucked by a gorilla or in the style of a gorilla. Example: The Texas Longhorns are Gorilla Boofing the Louisiana Ragin' Cajuns today. Well shit, if the weather channel thinks there is major gorilla boofing expected, who am I to argue with them? Lets get into the pre-game breakdown. Billy Napier is a really nice guy who is taking his time making sure the ragin Cajuns are a perrenial winner of the most powerful conference in football. The sunbelt conference. They are stacked with 2.5 star talent, have excellent discipline, and their names will mean literally nothing to you when you hear them. Returning a bunch of starters or something. Then we have the Texas Longhorns football team. There's a new coach in town, Steve Sarkisian. He's come into town and immediately let us know that his brain engine has a serious defect. It is only capable of All Gas with No Brakes. The Longhorns are playing their last season in the absolute joke of a conference the Big XII and return a roster that makes my special parts move. Filled with Household names like Bijan Robinson, Cade Brewer (A Burnt End) and Demarvion Overshown. Expect to see an aggressive and relentless attack led by the defense, followed up by the offense making quick strikes on explosive plays. Crack open a cold beer, pour yourself a nice wine spritzer or enjoy your beverage of choice starting now, because we are in for a glorious day of Texas Longhorns football. Hook 'Em P.S. For less than 2 cups of Starbucks coffee a month you can support the Burnt Ends. Find more information here. https://www.surlyhorns.com/board/index.php?/burnt-ends-nil-program/
September 4, 20214 yr Over / under on first melt down. mid way through first qtr LFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! page 1
September 4, 20214 yr NO Shit!! What did the band spell out before the game? What did the cheerleaders do? Waiting until right at kickoff on the game thread SUUUUUCKS!
September 4, 20214 yr not just Brando but fucking Tillman as well.... 2 fuckers who hate us with a fucking passion.
September 4, 20214 yr What did we do to land Tim fucking Brando? He's the biggest regard on television
September 4, 20214 yr Great gotta listen to these two jagoffs Edited September 4, 20214 yr by Bigbend1812
September 4, 20214 yr Play action to Bijan and deep shot for 35+ yards on the first play. Texas by 20 today.
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.