Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

You can't wear a bathing suit because I get a hard on - some christian dude

Featured Replies

11 minutes ago, Captainant said:

Folks like briskets wife are the exception, and I'm sure they both have plenty of stories of the friction they face because of it

As if either lawyerin’ or preachin’ are noble professions.  😛

(No disrespect intended but that was too easy.)

Well, as Sister Helena used to say, 6 inches for the Holy Ghost.

3 hours ago, elfenix said:

Should move to Afghanistan

Or Texas. Whichever is closest.

Dude's going to make a GoFundMe and get $3M in donations and a weekly spot on the radio. He knows what he's doing.

New believers should be encouraged to add 1 Cor 5:12 to their memory verse list to nip this stuff in the bud: What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside?

And of course the judging within the church mentioned here involved a continuing sexual relationship between man and mother-in-law, not the height of a teenager’s hemline or the amount of thigh jiggle.

There’s a very strong biblical case — maybe a command — for Christians to be mindful and considerate of the struggles of fellow believers. This is inward looking though, not outward looking. I can choose to refrain from certain things if it supports the needs and struggles of my community, but I don’t see the case for how I can impose the same restrictions (aside from the don’t sleep with your mother-in-law thing) on another person. As was rightly pointed out, Jesus said to gouge your eye out, not berate the object of your lust.

I’d love to do away with the earnest Christian vocal affect. Speak with your adult voice, not that of some poor Marilyn Monroe impersonator. The moment you hear that breathy voice, guard your heart and wallet.

4 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

In my lifetime, I've seen Jesus paintings and other portrayals that went from blond hair/blue-eyed, to dark hair/dark-eyed with a decent tan.

My kids may actually see him portrayed as what he actually looked like.

Here you go:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aww, you boys are so quaint.

There’s not a woman alive - pretty, ugly, young, old, fat, thin - that hasn’t been subjected to this in some form in their lives.

Usually it comes from a family member or significant other.

Just now, Bama Chick said:

Usually it comes from a family member

So that’s how it is in Alabama…

10 hours ago, SquishMitten said:

He allegedly also has two children with his fiance. So, if we're being all religiousy and whatnot, I think that's more frowned upon than wearing bikinis. And in the group photo, none of the suits appeared to be too revealing. The only one not shown is the girl taking the picture, but you can briefly see her in one of the vids and the bikini bottoms were normal coverage sized. 

His fiancé probably wore a bikini on the day he knocked her up, dude.

Dude was having ptsd flashbacks from HS

 

image.jpeg.364fc494cfa65e6175313f679fff0964.jpeg

10 minutes ago, Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand said:

"Sky Daddy" just makes me think of someone posterizing his kids with a vicious tomahawk. 

flat,750x1000,075,f.u1.jpg

 

If we are going to outlaw every type of clothing worn by a woman who evokes a male boner, there will be no clothing left for women to wear.  They will just walk around with their cooter on full display, 90% of us dudes will walk around with boners all day, nothing will get done and society will collapse.  I’m pretty sure God doesn’t want that, unless he’s like:

thats-my-fetish-26817703.png

very difficult to opine on this subject without seeing pics of these alleged sexy bikinis

very difficult to opine on this subject without seeing pics of these alleged sexy bikinis

20 hours ago, Post Oak said:

 Christians are the worst.  Change my mind.

Hence the need for Christ's atonement.

You're starting to get it

18 hours ago, Willfully Horn said:

There’s an enormous chasm between the values of Christ and those of Christianity.

I’m starting to think “Speak my truth” is Christian for “Hold my beer”

I've known women who say that they have bathing suits that they wouldn't wear to a pool party at their parent's house. One, that's a sign to have a pool and invite them to a party. Second, it points out that we all know that we act or wear something different based on the situation.

But that doesn't mean that we have to act like we're at our grandparent's sunday dinner in every situation in our life. When you go to a public lake or beach, people are allowed to act or wear what they want, short of breaking a law.

19 hours ago, Willfully Horn said:

There’s an enormous chasm between the values of Christ and those of Christianity.

Yep. It's been that way since the third century. I'd say it started when men decided that women (who helped finance and support Christianity) could no longer hold leadership roles in the early church. 

The core principles of Christianity are essentially incompatible with the dominant American cultural attributes. Building wealth, the lust for power, economic growth with no regard for the health of the planet, inequality. We're not a "Christian nation." America can be terrifying. 

16 minutes ago, Woodrow Call said:

Yep. It's been that way since the third century. I'd say it started when men decided that women (who helped finance and support Christianity) could no longer hold leadership roles in the early church. 

The core principles of Christianity are essentially incompatible with the dominant American cultural attributes. Building wealth, the lust for power, economic growth with no regard for the health of the planet, inequality. We're not a "Christian nation." America can be terrifying. 

What do you think of this bathing suit incident?  Would you say that's rude behavior?

Fitting company name, considering that he jerked off to those girls as soon as he got home and his fiance went to sleep.  

2 hours ago, Bojack said:

What do you think of this bathing suit incident?  Would you say that's rude behavior?

I think he's nuts. Total jerk. 

2 hours ago, Woodrow Call said:

Yep. It's been that way since the third century. I'd say it started when men decided that women (who helped finance and support Christianity) could no longer hold leadership roles in the early church. 

The core principles of Fundamentalist Christianity are essentially incompatible with the dominant American cultural attributes. Building wealth, the lust for power, economic growth with no regard for the health of the planet, inequality. We're not a "Christian nation." America can be terrifying. 

Only one minor edit (separating the bath water from the baby, if you will). 

The Leviticus-loving fundies are an American phenomenon.

They reject the New Covenant presented by Christ and revert to pre-Christianity moral codes, such as those found in Leviticus, as a means of controlling those whose behavior they find offensive. 

6 hours ago, 52-80 said:

very difficult to opine on this subject without seeing pics of these alleged sexy bikinis

check the 3rd tiktok

 

11 minutes ago, washparkhorn said:

Only one minor edit (separating the bath water from the baby, if you will). 

The Leviticus-loving fundies are an American phenomenon.

They reject the New Covenant presented by Christ and revert to pre-Christianity moral codes, such as those found in Leviticus, as a means of controlling those whose behavior they find offensive. 

Sure. They're obsessed with returning to what are essentially the old Jewish purity laws, all of which were rejected by Jesus in the New Testament. But I don't agree with your edit (inserting fundamentalist) and think perhaps you may have misunderstood my intent. I'm saying our dominant cultural attributes in America (most of which are bad) are incompatible with early church Christianity or Christ's real teaching. Our lack of national healthcare could be Exhibit A. Mass incarceration could be Exhibit B. Add our lack of care for the environment, etc. 

I've always had a problem with proselytizing that some Christians practice, which I know they strongly believe that they're required to do. I recall that Classics/History teachers talking about these behaviors are why Christians were viewed unfavorably at different times in history. No one really wants to hear why you think they're going to hell. 

5 minutes ago, Woodrow Call said:

I'm saying our dominant cultural attributes in America (most of which are bad) are incompatible with early church Christianity or Christ's real teaching. Our lack of national healthcare could be Exhibit A. Mass incarceration could be Exhibit B. Add our lack of care for the environment, etc. 

We are in 100% agreement. 

22 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Is there a tuck rule in college football? Yes or no? I asked and never received an answer in the affirmative. I’m inclined to say no. Do you know? Or are you just talking shit?

I'm aware of the tuck rule in drag shows.

image.png.51f295986c1295199b738d94cbec00cb.png 

 

This is super frowned upon, but not technically against the rules.  You will get points taken off in the judging though.

22 hours ago, Captainant said:

Flying planes into buildings wasn't broadly supported by Muslims. Shaming and exercising every available mechanism to control women is broadly supported by christians. Folks like briskets wife are the exception, and I'm sure they both have plenty of stories of the friction they face because of it

You mean my wife, the ordained Christian minister who is fucking done with "Christians," and whose ministry largely tends to people who are similarly done with American Christianity?  Yeah, she shares your take.  And she gets plenty of busybody American "Christians" who berate her or report her to church authorities for not being their brand of "Christian."

The most effective christian ministry and evangelism I've ever seen.....is people simply leading a good and kind life, doing their best to live out the gospels, and treating people with love and kindness.  Want to get more people interested in following Christ?  Then maybe demonstrate that following Christ means you're a decent person, instead of a judgmental dick.

3 hours ago, crash_davis said:

Dude is fired from his job.

vw4u77u88em71.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&a

image.gif.7a5fe50a759896118981561bae2dc974.gif

2 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

. No one really wants to hear why you think they're going to hell. 

the road to hell is paved with perky tiddies

On 9/8/2021 at 11:31 AM, ndawg said:

This is true, but at the same time, it has to be acknowledged that evangelical churches are basically molding generations of people into scientifically illiterate, uncurious dunces who present a real threat to civilized society.

Yes, but they do tithe.

  • Author
9 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

the road to hell is paved with perky tiddies

 

how-annoying-are-your-boobs-2-4161-14846

fap.gif

1667951349-dead-cat-clipart-1_opt.jpg

jesus-wept.jpg?fit=218,300&ssl=1

i-will-smite-you.jpg

R-400587-1533834528-3133.jpeg.jpg

 

Edited by crash_davis

^^^^^

For a second, I thought MrPhlegm had wandered in here...

4 hours ago, Woodrow Call said:

I think he's nuts. Total jerk. 

I hope we’ve heard the last from him, but I somehow doubt it. 

6 hours ago, crash_davis said:

Dude is fired from his job.

vw4u77u88em71.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&a

Cancel Culture is out of control!! 

6 hours ago, crash_davis said:

Dude is fired from his job.

vw4u77u88em71.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&a

I'm guessin the dude always sucked at building things, they kept him on because they felt sorry for him or as a favor to somebody else, and then they were delighted to have a new reason to fire him.

1 hour ago, Beau Vine said:

^^^^^

For a second, I thought MrPhlegm had wandered in here...

not enough old army castrating himself through his jeans

2 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

^^^^^

For a second, I thought MrPhlegm had wandered in here...

Nah, the first pic would have been Catherine Bell.

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.