Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Featured Replies

Lincoln Riley blows out kids' birthday candles on 2.

  • Replies 673
  • Views 37.2k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • Lincoln Riley still posts on shaggy bevo as "8badmofo31." But he's "just there for the stories," not the scat.

  • Mason Ramsey
    Mason Ramsey

    Lincoln Riley posts his nurse paystubs on college football message boards

  • bschoolprof
    bschoolprof

    Lincoln Riley makes brisket like this (for real):

Posted Images

Lincoln Riley thinks Lee Corso should get a contract extension.

Lincoln Riley’s favorite vacation spot is Wuhan, China.  

Lincoln Riley says tummy instead of stomach

Lincoln Riley puts the ice cream carton back in the freezer with a tablespoon of ice cream left "in case anyone else wants some"

Lincoln Riley takes last cold bottled water out of fridge....  doesnt restock.

Lincoln Riley leaves bad reviews at massage parlors when they mispronounce his name.

Lincoln Riley’s favorite restaurant is Golden Corral…mainly for the chocolate fountain.

Lincoln Riley thinks College Game Day needs way more personal interest, cancer stories.

Lincoln Riley always goes to the middle urinal and asks how everyone’s doing.  
 

Lincoln Riley is certain OJ will find the real killer.  
 

Lincoln Riley loves hairless cats.  

Lincoln Riley regularly asks his assistants if they have a “Case of the Mondays”.

1 hour ago, futureman said:

those two guys were badasses. and red falcon needed to go down. 

 

4827C03A-8819-4F63-8A07-1B9D6F2F0717.jpeg

Lincoln Riley hates Fletcher's Corn dogs and wax cup beer.  Anytime he smells funnel cake, he throws up.

Lincoln Riley's favorite time of year is August for the sweltering evenings.

Lincoln Riley reminisces fondly about church summer camp when he narced on the boys who got to second base

2 minutes ago, coachherman'sgrill said:

Lincoln Riley thinks women in the Olympics is a "bit much".

you like women's sports?

23 minutes ago, Yev Kassem said:

When there’s something strange in his neighborhood, Lincoln Riley doesn’t know who to call. 

hell yes

Luncoln Riley cooks his ribeyes in a crock pot and uses Truly as his daily drinker. 

Lincoln Riley thinks Traeger Pellet smokers blow stick burners away.

Edited by Cajun

Lincoln Riley is in negotiations to buy Dart Bowl and move it to Norman.

Edited by Cajun

Lincoln Riley likes Julio’s Chips way better since they switched to MSG and got more mealy.

Lincoln Riley thinks the El Arroyo marquis should be fact checked by Jack Dorsey.

Lincoln Riley thinks the food at The Oasis is waaaaay better than the sunsets.

24 minutes ago, futureman said:

you like women's sports?

I do. forever!

 

1 minute ago, brakeman said:

I do. forever!

 

So, you’re the one.

Lincoln Riley only recruited Spencer Rattler because he thought he was attractive.

30 minutes ago, futureman said:

you like women's sports?

I do. forever!

 

Lincoln Riley is all for the RRS being moved to JerrahWorld.

Lincoln Riley can’t wait to chant SEC!

1 minute ago, Deej said:

Lincoln Riley only recruited Spencer Rattler because he thought he was attractive.

I call BS. Not even Rattler's mother/sister/aunt think's he's attractive and she's dating him.

Lincoln Riley can lick his own taint, but will only do it after it is sweaty enough.

 

Lincoln Riley convinced Mike Grundy to lose the mullet.

Just now, HornsOverIthaca said:

Lincoln Riley thinks Stephen Belichick has a great haircut.

Exactly what inspired my last post.

I’m not an activist, and I’m not a cynic. I’m just a person who wants to free people from the fetters of nonrepresentationalism’s poisonous embrace. Let me begin by observing that the proverbs of Theognis, like those of Solomon, are observations on human nature, ordinary life, and civil society, with moral reflections on the facts. I quote him as a witness of the fact that there has been little scientific or scholarly analysis of Coach Lincoln Riley’s crotchety, captious objectives. This is a glaring omission in strategic discourse, one that can be rectified only by examining how the concept of risk includes the relationship between the consequences and probability of an event. If the consequences of an event are extremely negative, such as the devastation resulting from Coach Riley violating the basic tenets of journalism and scholarship, then you want the probability of the event occurring to be vanishingly small, as close to zero as possible. Unfortunately, the likelihood of Coach Riley bamboozling people into believing that his scrofulous, delusional polity is a respected civil-rights organization is so high that one can’t help but conclude that almost every day, he outreaches himself in setting new records for arrogance, deceit, and greed. It’s obviously breathtaking to watch him. Put simply, Coach Riley’s buddies operate secretly so as not to excite suspicion. I’m not saying that facetiously; as people who know me inarguably realize, I always mean what I say and say what I mean. They also realize that the time for empty talk is over. Now arrives the hour of convincing even closed-minded sociopaths that if I were to compile a list of Coach Riley’s forays into espionage, sabotage, and subversion, it would fill an entire page and perhaps even run over onto the following one. Such a list would surely make every sane person who has passed the age of six realize that while Coach Riley manufactures crises over tammanyism, his lynch mob has been strapping us down with a network of rules and regulations.

If you delve deeply into Coach Riley’s bromides and thus, in tranquil clarity, submit to contemplation the enormities of the most stultiloquent, gutless woodenheads I’ve ever seen, you will unmistakably discover why Coach Riley isn’t interested in debates or open forums. He just wants to shut up dissenters. That’s why Coach Riley’s ableism society is a safe space from ideas that challenge Coach Riley’s beliefs—beliefs such as that he subscribes to only the facts he chooses to believe. This safe space is designed to shield Coach Riley’s idolators from having to hear that I’m sure Coach Riley wouldn’t want me to eavesdrop on his secret conversations. So why does he want to crush his admonishers in both body and spirit? It is only when one has an answer to that question is it possible to make sense of his convictions because he’s seeking approval to cheat on taxes. We must not give in, in particular because his peuplade is notorious for its effectiveness, unpredictability, and incredible cruelty. That combination makes it difficult for the authorities to guess when it will next attempt to immolate our freedoms on the altar of elitism.

A small child really couldn’t understand that unlike Coach Riley, I believe in individual responsibility, the rule of law, and fair play. But any adult can easily grasp that Coach Riley says that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape. Whenever I hear such statements from Coach Riley I reel in disbelief. Does he really believe such morally crippled things? If you insist that the ideas of freedom and sciolism are Siamese twins then you won’t understand my answer no matter how carefully I explain it. You won’t understand my answer if you allege that Coach Riley is a perpetual victim of injustice. However, you have a chance at understanding my answer if you’re open-minded enough to realize that Coach Riley craves more power. I say we should give him more power—preferably, 10,000 volts of it.

Let’s take a moment to consider Coach Riley’s worldview. His specific perspective is that if you don’t support his peremptory, irritable false-flag operations 100% then you’re a contumelious scaremonger. You’re human garbage. That sort of name-calling doesn’t bother me. What does bother me is that Coach Riley is getting dangerously close to making our lives an endless treadmill of government interferences while providing few real benefits to our health and happiness. Worst of all, our children’s children would never forgive us for letting him fleece us. I, hardheaded cynic that I am, can fight only for something that I love, love only what I respect, and respect only what I at least know. To prove this, I shall take only a few cases from the mass of existing examples.

Guess what? Coach Riley swears that he has his moral compass in tact. Despite the emphasis that he places on that asseveration, we all know that it’s a willful, malicious, and deliberate lie that serves only to prove that Coach Riley has caused a lot of damage by achieving total world domination. Even worse, he then emerges with a tall shaker of salt to rub in our wounds. Gee, thanks, Coach Riley. I wish that some of Coach Riley’s toadies would ask themselves, Why am I helping Coach Riley blitz media outlets with faxes and newsletters that highlight the good points of his evil sottises? Now that you’ve reached the end of this letter I hope you finally realize that we all need to work together to get the facts out in the hope that somebody else will do something to solve the problem. When you know better you can do better.

Lincoln Riley set the fire at the Renesas chip factory.  

1 minute ago, Beau Vine said:

I’m not an activist, and I’m not a cynic. I’m just a person who wants to free people from the fetters of nonrepresentationalism’s poisonous embrace. Let me begin by observing that the proverbs of Theognis, like those of Solomon, are observations on human nature, ordinary life, and civil society, with moral reflections on the facts. I quote him as a witness of the fact that there has been little scientific or scholarly analysis of Coach Lincoln Riley’s crotchety, captious objectives. This is a glaring omission in strategic discourse, one that can be rectified only by examining how the concept of risk includes the relationship between the consequences and probability of an event. If the consequences of an event are extremely negative, such as the devastation resulting from Coach Riley violating the basic tenets of journalism and scholarship, then you want the probability of the event occurring to be vanishingly small, as close to zero as possible. Unfortunately, the likelihood of Coach Riley bamboozling people into believing that his scrofulous, delusional polity is a respected civil-rights organization is so high that one can’t help but conclude that almost every day, he outreaches himself in setting new records for arrogance, deceit, and greed. It’s obviously breathtaking to watch him. Put simply, Coach Riley’s buddies operate secretly so as not to excite suspicion. I’m not saying that facetiously; as people who know me inarguably realize, I always mean what I say and say what I mean. They also realize that the time for empty talk is over. Now arrives the hour of convincing even closed-minded sociopaths that if I were to compile a list of Coach Riley’s forays into espionage, sabotage, and subversion, it would fill an entire page and perhaps even run over onto the following one. Such a list would surely make every sane person who has passed the age of six realize that while Coach Riley manufactures crises over tammanyism, his lynch mob has been strapping us down with a network of rules and regulations.

If you delve deeply into Coach Riley’s bromides and thus, in tranquil clarity, submit to contemplation the enormities of the most stultiloquent, gutless woodenheads I’ve ever seen, you will unmistakably discover why Coach Riley isn’t interested in debates or open forums. He just wants to shut up dissenters. That’s why Coach Riley’s ableism society is a safe space from ideas that challenge Coach Riley’s beliefs—beliefs such as that he subscribes to only the facts he chooses to believe. This safe space is designed to shield Coach Riley’s idolators from having to hear that I’m sure Coach Riley wouldn’t want me to eavesdrop on his secret conversations. So why does he want to crush his admonishers in both body and spirit? It is only when one has an answer to that question is it possible to make sense of his convictions because he’s seeking approval to cheat on taxes. We must not give in, in particular because his peuplade is notorious for its effectiveness, unpredictability, and incredible cruelty. That combination makes it difficult for the authorities to guess when it will next attempt to immolate our freedoms on the altar of elitism.

A small child really couldn’t understand that unlike Coach Riley, I believe in individual responsibility, the rule of law, and fair play. But any adult can easily grasp that Coach Riley says that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape. Whenever I hear such statements from Coach Riley I reel in disbelief. Does he really believe such morally crippled things? If you insist that the ideas of freedom and sciolism are Siamese twins then you won’t understand my answer no matter how carefully I explain it. You won’t understand my answer if you allege that Coach Riley is a perpetual victim of injustice. However, you have a chance at understanding my answer if you’re open-minded enough to realize that Coach Riley craves more power. I say we should give him more power—preferably, 10,000 volts of it.

Let’s take a moment to consider Coach Riley’s worldview. His specific perspective is that if you don’t support his peremptory, irritable false-flag operations 100% then you’re a contumelious scaremonger. You’re human garbage. That sort of name-calling doesn’t bother me. What does bother me is that Coach Riley is getting dangerously close to making our lives an endless treadmill of government interferences while providing few real benefits to our health and happiness. Worst of all, our children’s children would never forgive us for letting him fleece us. I, hardheaded cynic that I am, can fight only for something that I love, love only what I respect, and respect only what I at least know. To prove this, I shall take only a few cases from the mass of existing examples.

Guess what? Coach Riley swears that he has his moral compass in tact. Despite the emphasis that he places on that asseveration, we all know that it’s a willful, malicious, and deliberate lie that serves only to prove that Coach Riley has caused a lot of damage by achieving total world domination. Even worse, he then emerges with a tall shaker of salt to rub in our wounds. Gee, thanks, Coach Riley. I wish that some of Coach Riley’s toadies would ask themselves, Why am I helping Coach Riley blitz media outlets with faxes and newsletters that highlight the good points of his evil sottises? Now that you’ve reached the end of this letter I hope you finally realize that we all need to work together to get the facts out in the hope that somebody else will do something to solve the problem. When you know better you can do better.

Lincoln Riley read every word of that post.

Lincoln Riley is upset his mom has to work the Midway at the State Fair instead of watching him lose to Texas.

Lincoln Riley goes to San Antonio for Torchy’s Tacos.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.