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lincoln riley buys all his vegetables at subway

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  • Lincoln Riley still posts on shaggy bevo as "8badmofo31." But he's "just there for the stories," not the scat.

  • Mason Ramsey
    Mason Ramsey

    Lincoln Riley posts his nurse paystubs on college football message boards

  • bschoolprof
    bschoolprof

    Lincoln Riley makes brisket like this (for real):

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Lincoln Riley loves Steve Perry’s solo stuff way better than Journey.

lincoln riley is responsible for the USB paradox

lincoln riley gives autographed portraits of himself to the staff for christmas. 

lincoln riley fakes orgasms when he jerks off

Edited by elfenix

lincoln riley only makes BLTs when tomatoes are out of season.

lincoln riley doesn't think there's enough previews in front of movies these days

Lincoln Riley bobs for apples in the toilet. And he likes it!

Lincoln Riley calls guacamole "guac" and tells the waitress "gracias" after ordering fajitas at Chili's

Lincoln Riley doesn’t fart when he asked friends to pull his finger- he cums.

Lincoln Riley thinks Australia doesn't exist.

Lincoln Riley says, "Texas Aggies" with verve and conviction.

Lincoln Riley can't be bothered enough to try & explain away "shrinkage" due to cold water.

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Lincoln Riley knows why the "teethbrush" wasn't invented in oKlahoma.

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Lincoln Riley always puts the pussy on a pedestal.

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Lincoln Riley is confused as to what size & absorbency feminine hygiene pad to use.

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Lincoln Riley has many pairs of bedazzled flip flops.

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lincoln riley never uses euphemisms and loudly explains others' usage of euphemisms. 

Lincoln Riley is never able to perform any feats of strength for Festivus.

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Lincoln Riley puts expensive wooden handles steak knives in the dish washer




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Lincoln Riley includes a headshot photo for all of his resumes.

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Lincoln Riley thinks Smokey shoots real canon balls and there is a guy in the NEZ that catches them with a first base glove.

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