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Sounds as though the kids were taken back there as opposed to Pole Assassins video where she said they went thru 37 gates to get to the monkey.

37????
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  • Did anyone mention the possibility that the kid was trick or treating and hoping to find a house that was giving out Rhesus?

  • Hank Scorpio
    Hank Scorpio

    We’ve all been there, it’s Halloween, you left your wife and kids for a stripper so you don’t even remember that until you see a kid in a pirate costume, you’re trying to study film to come up with an

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Sir, we’ve traced this new mutation of The Coronavirus to Austin, TX October 31 at Zero Dark Thirty.  The virus protein spikes are coated in glitter, monkey saliva, and cocaine…….scary shit

41 minutes ago, Jkwellborn said:


37????

37... 2... Basically the same

1 hour ago, Newdoc said:

It appears that the pole assassin does not have a good grasp of English grammar.

I thought they had tough academic qualifications to get hired as a stripper.  You learn something new every day.

What does Banks’ ex-wife look like to make him dump her for the Pole Assassin? Or was she just frigid?

9 minutes ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

What does Banks’ ex-wife look like to make him dump her for the Pole Assassin? Or was she just frigid?

You tell me. 

 

 

merlin_183455712_06c6c5eb-2590-4d60-b889-0ed4bcbb0909-superJumbo.jpg

Edited by Eggo

13 hours ago, Michael Knight said:

Honest question, because I don't remember. Did this story make it onto ESPN back when it originally happened? I know it was on all the sports blogs and talk radio, but I can't remember if ESPN picked it up. Even if they did, I know they didn't mention Pole Assassin, which they do in that article.

Just more embarrassment to the stack of shit that is the Longhorn football program. 

your honor the defense objects to the plaintiffs continued use of the term pole assassin to address my client.  

I’m no attorney(although I am 3-0 representing myself), but it seems a little unprofessional and pointless to reference her stripper stage name in the lawsuit.  While I think monkeys are disgusting creatures totally unsuited to be pets, I hope the little fucker flings shit at that attorney in court.

Edited by NeverMarryAStripper

15 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I’m no attorney(although I am 3-0 representing myself), but it seems a little unprofessional and pointless to reference her stripper stage name in the lawsuit.  While I think monkeys are disgusting creatures totally unsuited to be pets, I hope the little fucker flings shit at that attorney in court.

Well, hardly anyone involved in the lawsuit pays much attention to the petition, except the defendant when answering it, and maybe the judge if there is some kind of flaw in it.  So, from that perspective, it is unprofessional or at least gratuitous.

But, the fact is in a lot of lawsuits that it is known or anticipated that the press will pick it up, so salacious details are often included in a petition for that reason alone.  I tend to disapprove of "trying lawsuits in the press," but there it is.

There are provisions in the law for striking exceptionally gratuitous and scandalous matter from pleadings, but it's usually not worth the effort.

If the sole reason the attorney took the case was to troll Texas because he's an aggie, it makes a lot of sense.  I'm sure it took a lot of restraint to not put tu or sips in the filing somewhere.

8 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

Well, hardly anyone involved in the lawsuit pays much attention to the petition, except the defendant when answering it, and maybe the judge if there is some kind of flaw in it.  So, from that perspective, it is unprofessional or at least gratuitous.

But, the fact is in a lot of lawsuits that it is known or anticipated that the press will pick it up, so salacious details are often included in a petition for that reason alone.  I tend to disapprove of "trying lawsuits in the press," but there it is.

There are provisions in the law for striking exceptionally gratuitous and scandalous matter from pleadings, but it's usually not worth the effort.

Would it be appropriate if said monkey knows its caregiver not as “Mama” but as “Pole Assassin”?  As in, come give Pole Assassin a high five, baby.  Shouldn’t we be looking at this through the monkey’s eyes?

Edited by Doctor of Neighborhood
grammar, damn it

Give your spare tire to a gypsy by the side of the road and fail to tell your family before the epic cross country vacation

versus

Lead a little kid into close proximity with an evil, biting monkey

Eh, comme si - comme sa. 

Banks's insurance carrier best offer some serious cash asap.  Of course, I write this while completely ignorant of any fact not spun out by Mark Schlabach.  Nothing good comes out of penning up wild animals.  No one should be surprised when innocents are harmed.

It would be the “alleged” Pole Assassin as criminal law has a higher standard of proof

30 minutes ago, kevwun said:

If the sole reason the attorney took the case was to troll Texas because he's an aggie, it makes a lot of sense.  I'm sure it took a lot of restraint to not put tu or sips in the filing somewhere.

Probably doing it pro bono. 

If this had been a dog with no proof of rabies vaccination, would they have put the dog down and tested it? Is that still a thing?

1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I’m no attorney(although I am 3-0 representing myself), but it seems a little unprofessional and pointless to reference her stripper stage name in the lawsuit.  While I think monkeys are disgusting creatures totally unsuited to be pets, I hope the little fucker flings shit at that attorney in court.

It’s more than her stripper name isn’t it? She created a whole persona out of it including very public social media profiles and media appearances? I’d agree if she was on the DL about being a stripper and just gave a fake name at the club. As it stands, he’s calling her by the name she has chosen to use publicly and professionally. 
 

I view the name as more like Lady Gaga than “ask for Tiffani when you come in!”

Edited by 956 Worldwide

You tell me. 
 
 
merlin_183455712_06c6c5eb-2590-4d60-b889-0ed4bcbb0909-superJumbo.thumb.jpg.d6ef1d38ea9813e770fc80926bc2cb24.jpg

Looks like Jeff Bezos’ ex-wife
1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I’m no attorney of neighborhood (although I am 3-0 representing myself), but it seems a little unprofessional and pointless to reference her stripper stage name in the lawsuit. 

 

2 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I’m no attorney(although I am 3-0 representing myself), but it seems a little unprofessional and pointless to reference her stripper stage name in the lawsuit.  While I think monkeys are disgusting creatures totally unsuited to be pets, I hope the little fucker flings shit at that attorney in court.

My disdain for monkeys and primates is so known in my family that I get multiple monkey or chimp gag gifts or cards every year.

I also get monkey memes, gifs, and videos texted to me. People think it’s fucking funny. 

Edited by ImissWallyPryor

1 hour ago, C-Man said:


Looks like Jeff Bezos’ ex-wife

I guess she's got a thing for Jeffs.

15 hours ago, Newdoc said:

It appears that the pole assassin does not have a good grasp of English grammar.

You don’t need a grasp of any language with a pole grasp like hers.  

Edited by Lobo

7 hours ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

My disdain for monkeys and primates is so known in my family that I get multiple monkey or chimp gag gifts or cards every year.

I also get monkey memes, gifs, and videos texted to me. People think it’s fucking funny. 

Monkey Oops GIF by AFV PetsHalloween GIFkaty perry monkey GIFWork Reaction GIFNight At The Museum Movie GIF by 20th Century Studios

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35 minutes ago, Archer said:

 

Glorious.  Would have liked to seen a Scene 2 with a child receiving medical attention from a Doctor of Neighborhood, but you can’t have it all.

Maybe this weekend doesn’t happen without the prime media positioning from the monkey story.  

12 minutes ago, Guadaloopy said:

Maybe this weekend doesn’t happen without the prime media positioning from the monkey story.  

It’s a scientific fact that QBs with mullets like strippers and monkeys

On 12/12/2021 at 5:24 PM, Archer said:

 

Please tell me this is in Steiner - you know, close to the home of the actual Pole Assassin!

  • 2 weeks later...

Important reminder: No matter how ripe this creature looks for a holiday high five, do not attempt without the express permission of the Pole Assassin.

Merry Christmas

image.jpeg.97f054451b554a7672cf6982dca2ce5e.jpeg

  • 5 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

Post-assassination?

B3046675-E26E-4D74-A2B2-1B32A7C16F43.thumb.jpeg.0b6bf154199134f16c47c94709e18e45.jpeg

how does one sabotage a pole contest?  Asking for a friend.

30 minutes ago, Lobo said:

how does one sabotage a pole contest?  Asking for a friend.


Well, mechanically we would need to make sure the pole wax the girls apply beforehand is somehow removed, so our plan is definitely going to have to involve a quick switch of the poles. I don’t see any other way around it. 

Let's face it. Pole Assassin is a fucking idiot.

5 minutes ago, Doc Reeves said:


Well, mechanically we would need to make sure the pole wax the girls apply beforehand is somehow removed, so our plan is definitely going to have to involve a quick switch of the poles. I don’t see any other way around it. 

So like a Devil's threesome then, or?

  I mean, if the club owner just stole the $15k, that's not sabotage, she'd say "He stole/never paid..."   If the voting was not on the up-and-up, she'd say, "He rigged it."  But she said sabotage, so the mind wanders.  Did he fly in a ringer?  Did he put something in her drink?  Did he bribe the bouncer to Gillooly poleassassin's knee before the dance contest?  

2 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

I mean, she is a professional stripper. How are you just now getting to this conclusion? 

Because all the strippers I talk to say they’re students…

5 minutes ago, Lobo said:

So like a Devil's threesome then, or?

  I mean, if the club owner just stole the $15k, that's not sabotage, she'd say "He stole/never paid..."   If the voting was not on the up-and-up, she'd say, "He rigged it."  But she said sabotage, so the mind wanders.  Did he fly in a ringer?  Did he put something in her drink?  Did he bribe the bouncer to Gillooly poleassassin's knee before the dance contest?  


I have actually heard once you can rub a small amount of dawn dish soap on the pole after your last set. Breaks down the oil and bitches slip and crack a rib

21 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

I mean, she is a professional stripper. How are you just now getting to this conclusion? 

I was going for the understatement joke, but you came in and stepped on the punchline like you were stomping on grapes.

Tom Brady is a pretty good quarterback. Now explain how that isn't a unique observation. 

Well, I for one will volunteer to examine the pole and the dancers to find all of this evidence that many people are talking about.   

I can deal with PED's in football, gambling in baseball, and steroid in the Olympics.  But I will not have my nation's pole dancing contests ruined by election fraud! 

SABOTAGE! (cue Beasties) 

Can we fire Banks already?

2 hours ago, Lobo said:

how does one sabotage a pole contest?  Asking for a friend.

*Sabotage

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