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Featured Replies

On a thread about strippers and homicidal monkeys, you're gonna give me shit for capitalization?  

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  • Did anyone mention the possibility that the kid was trick or treating and hoping to find a house that was giving out Rhesus?

  • Hank Scorpio
    Hank Scorpio

    We’ve all been there, it’s Halloween, you left your wife and kids for a stripper so you don’t even remember that until you see a kid in a pirate costume, you’re trying to study film to come up with an

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Sonny Liston tampered with that pole.

8 hours ago, Nope said:

Post-assassination?

B3046675-E26E-4D74-A2B2-1B32A7C16F43.thumb.jpeg.0b6bf154199134f16c47c94709e18e45.jpeg

Where’s the monkey?

5 hours ago, Chooky said:

Sonny Liston tampered with that pole.

The infamous phantom punch. 
AMWizd.gif

24 minutes ago, nnm said:

Where’s the monkey?

Looks like she has panties on, sorry

Where’s the monkey?

You have to pay for a private room to see her monkey.
  • 2 weeks later...

Yep, Andrew Dismukes pitched the idea and they ran with it.  Mulaney killed in it because, while a great standup but not great comic actor, he can do this thing where he sorta plays down the absurd with his pitch.  It's actually a callback to a judge Mulaney impersonates in his standup in a bit about Law & Order, but obviously this is more theater of the absurd.  The man's a genius, trying to tell y'all.  

  • 7 months later...
  • 2 weeks later...

^^^ that is disgusting. You have no idea where that mouth has been. Poor monkey. 

I hope doctor of neighborhood is on call tonight.

3 minutes ago, Doctor of Neighborhood said:

Oh, I’m ready

 

A7F76BCE-4A8E-4B64-BCF8-D81BC2EBBCD6.gif

Still amazed that the university hasn’t kept this organ grinder off of social media. What ever happened to protecting your brand? Social media is the downfall of humanity. 

6 hours ago, Fuck Tim Beck said:

^^^ that is disgusting. You have no idea where that mouth has been. Poor monkey. 

Her trade name is pole assassin. I think we have a pretty good idea of where her mouth has been. 

7 hours ago, Fuck Tim Beck said:

^^^ that is disgusting. You have no idea where that mouth has been. Poor monkey. 

Actually we have a very good idea where that mouth has been.

10 hours ago, Al Czervik said:

Still amazed that the university hasn’t kept this organ grinder off of social media. What ever happened to protecting your brand? Social media is the downfall of humanity. 

15CB251F-EDAE-4160-9CBE-10C46CDACEF9.thumb.jpeg.e29bdc5fb1719b9e35340f272d0ad77b.jpeg

Anyone swing by Pole Assassin's house last night to see if kids were invited in again?

  • 11 months later...

Happy 2 year anniversary of the monkey incident.

Texas is 16-9 since then.

On 10/31/2022 at 10:54 PM, HtownHorn said:

Actually we have a very good idea where that mouth has been.

that monkey is probably the least of anyones concerns 

Do you, Doctor of Neighborhood, swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

I'm sure they got posted somewhere but at the UH game a couple of jabronis took a picture with her and one of them had a custom UT jersey with Pole Assassin as the name (he was wearing it backwards) and hustled away with shit-eating grins. 

Super disappointed the number of folks online who thought the name of the monkey is Pole Assassin. 

2 hours ago, bad_teammate said:

Do you, Doctor of Neighborhood, swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

Of course I do.  I took an oath.  To medicine.  And to the neighborhood.

23 hours ago, Js1 said:

Happy 2 year anniversary of the monkey incident.

Texas is 16-9 since then.

Night At The Museum Film GIF by 20th Century Studios

15 hours ago, CleverNickname said:

Super disappointed the number of folks online who thought the name of the monkey is Pole Assassin. 

The monkey's name is probably Mojo Jojo

16 hours ago, Doctor of Neighborhood said:

Of course I do.  I took an oath.  To medicine.  And to the neighborhood.

"Listen, Diane, when you married me you knew that two things would ALWAYS come first, medicine and neighborhood! So DO NOT try to make me choose, because you will NOT like my choice!"

  • 4 weeks later...

His boys are having a good night

1 minute ago, WBT said:

His boys are having a good night

If by finally having a season where my liver is fucked due to celebration, I'd say Hook Em! 

  • 7 months later...
  • 3 months later...
  • 1 month later...

This dude’s unit is the biggest liability in the program currently. Our punters absolutely suck, we have no return game awareness and our FG kicker is about as dependable as the French army. 

It very well might cost this team in the playoffs. It has to be a focus this offseason to upgrade every element of STs because they’re absolute garbage. 

Now that they're married I can only assume his pole has not been getting assassinated enough, and that frustration is affecting his focus at work.

1 hour ago, The Ace of Aces said:

This dude’s unit is the biggest liability in the program currently. Our punters absolutely suck, we have no return game awareness and our FG kicker is about as dependable as the French army. 

It very well might cost this team in the playoffs. It has to be a focus this offseason to upgrade every element of STs because they’re absolute garbage. 

It's pretty amazing how perfect Auburn kicked the field goal that was 20 yards offline, I mean that fucking thing went straight as an arrow, damn near like he was trying to kick it to some chick in the stands.

Kicking and punting have definitely been issues, although that’s not something you can do much about once they’re on campus.  Bert has regressed in a big way vs last year, and i could be imagining things, but I think Kern hasn’t really been the same since before his injury.

54 minutes ago, skipmcgee said:

Kicking and punting have definitely been issues, although that’s not something you can do much about once they’re on campus.  Bert has regressed in a big way vs last year, and i could be imagining things, but I think Kern hasn’t really been the same since before his injury.

Yeah, somehow, I excuse coaches for kickers/punters that underperform, especially if they regress, as Auburn seems to have.

If you watch Kern, he seems to have less "oomph" in his punts than most punters (less kicking leg extension, less "hop"), which would seem to be a result of the injury.

Is the ST coach primarily responsible for recruitment of kickers?  It would seem so and that would seem problematic, and there's also the question of depth and backups in the event a kicker inexplicably gets the yips.

Do kickers/punters get full scholarships?  If you have to demote one, do you revoke his scholly?  Have to kick him off the team because of roster limits?

Coverages have mostly been pretty good, and that's clearly a coaching issue.  Bolden has been epileptic/electric but hasn't seemed to cost us anything much.

 

I tend to agree that the placekicker and punter sucking isn't necessarily something you can pin on the ST coach. However that blocked punt certainly is. Looked like the protection was running a roll right punt and the punter executed a straight punt. The good news is that kind of thing can be a one-off mistake where you fix the miscommunication and it never happens again.

4 minutes ago, Huckleberry said:

I tend to agree that the placekicker and punter sucking isn't necessarily something you can pin on the ST coach. However that blocked punt certainly is. Looked like the protection was running a roll right punt and the punter executed a straight punt. The good news is that kind of thing can be a one-off mistake where you fix the miscommunication and it never happens again.

And, that might again go to the injury.  Kern may not have felt right trying to roll.  At least in my head if you have a gimpy hammy, just straight punting is hard enough, let alone trying to kick it on the trot.  But again a communication issue:  Coach, I don't think I can do that.

This thread seems to be going in the wrong direction, somehow focusing on special teams coaching and play.  Let us not forget domesticated simians, semi-domesticated “entertainers,” stray and unattended children, and a certain Doctor of Neighborhood.  

Do teams not have special assistants that can train kickers/punters???

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