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Are we sure this isn't a Reno 911 sketch?

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  • Did anyone mention the possibility that the kid was trick or treating and hoping to find a house that was giving out Rhesus?

  • Hank Scorpio
    Hank Scorpio

    We’ve all been there, it’s Halloween, you left your wife and kids for a stripper so you don’t even remember that until you see a kid in a pirate costume, you’re trying to study film to come up with an

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  • Popular Post

You bringing the monkey to Ames or what?

3 minutes ago, TexasMan said:

Omg she took PFT Commenter's bait

 

 

 

 

* a part

That drives me insane and has become an epidemic.  It's not that hard to figure out, and if you get it wrong it literally means  the exact opposite of what you mean. 

We just had a bye week to be able to dissect all of this and she waits until now to do this?!? 

This is the weirdest timeline

Sent from my SM-G973U using Tapatalk

  • Popular Post
9 minutes ago, Wally Pryor said:

Need to charge admission to see her tweets. 

You spelled tits wrong.

I hope the kid is okay and all. But this is much needed entertainment in the midst of a shit season.

Did Dez's monkey have a good attorney?

Dani probably just needs to turn the phone off for the rest of the night.  Or week.  Because she really isn't helping herself out here.

 

 

  • Popular Post
1 minute ago, TexasMan said:

 

Translation: the kid fucked around and found out. 

  • Popular Post

Here's what I've learned this week from Surly:

 

- Don't mow other people's lawns.

- When you get to the back gate, turn around for candy or a monkey might bite you.

9 minutes ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

 

Honest question; is English her second language?

 

 

Third, fourth, whatever it takes 

10 minutes ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

 

Edited by Fuck Tim Beck
DP

This is why Mack had Cleve. He'd have cut off Dani's power an hour ago. 

And then he'd move in for the nasty with the lights out.

  • Popular Post

A national punchline 

 

 

 

Breaking: Jeff Banks has just started a charitable foundation for wrongfully accused monkeys. The charter of BMMDDS is to provide legal and allegedly veterinarian services for the mental well being of wrongfully accused monkeys. BMMDDS (a.k.a Bitch My Monkey Didn't Do Shit) has declined comment on the situation at the Banks home. 

Wow, I thought this was fake

 

Edited by Zepol87

2 minutes ago, TexasMan said:

A national punchline 

 

 

 

 

Meh. Just roll with it. We all need the comedic relief.

She warned those little fuckheads back in June but did they listen? Noooooooo!

So The Weekend wrote the lyrics to “Can’t Feel My Face…” about a literal monkey? 

Who here hasn’t had a 36 hour period in their life where they lost to the Baylor Bears, called one of the worst fake punts ever, went home to their stripper girlfriend and her pet monkey who was attached to the neck of a trick or treating 12 year old that can’t follow rules.

5 minutes ago, Coelenterate Fuccboi said:

Maybe Banks needs to coach defense?

Maybe the monkey needs to coach defense? She (monkey) certainly knows how to initiate contact with an opponent.

At this point I only follow Texas Football for the drama. It's a much more entertaining product than whatever it is we put on the field.

Can the monkey bite the opposing team when we get a double digit lead?

  • Popular Post

4d68fb867b8f01d7a10f7b0111a35c9a.jpg

I’ve often lamented that I didn’t go to medical school because I too could’ve been a doctor of neighborhood

23 minutes ago, TexasMan said:

 

The best part about this saga so far is how seemingly reasonable her defense of the situation is. It wouldn't be a story if it was a dog that nipped a kid wandering into the backyard. 

But, you know, she's a stripper and it's a monkey. 

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This is the happiest I've been about Texas football since about halftime of the OU game. The only disappointment is that Sark didn't have to spend his entire press conference answering questions about it. 

1 minute ago, mdleast said:

4d68fb867b8f01d7a10f7b0111a35c9a.jpg

I’ve often lamented that I didn’t go to medical school because I too could’ve been a doctor of neighborhood

I’d settle for surgeon of block

  • immamac changed the title to [Monkeying Around] Jeff Banks…
  • Popular Post

 

On 10/30/2021 at 3:06 PM, Redneck Mutha said:

His wife is a stripper who owns a monkey.

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3 minutes ago, UDontKnow said:

Maybe the monkey needs to coach defense? She (monkey) certainly knows how to initiate contact with an opponent.

Maybe we need to send out defensive unit, one by one into the back yard and have the monkey show what is supposed to happen when someone invades your shit.

 

1 minute ago, Gaffords said:

Maybe we need to send out defensive unit, one by one into the back yard and have the monkey show what is supposed to happen when someone invades your shit.

 

I could see this backfiring since our defense (and the OL) likes having their shit invaded. 

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