November 2, 20214 yr 1 minute ago, Lobo said: You Marry the Pole, Fuck the Monkey, and Kill the Assassin. Wait... It's very confusing! Some sources like SI say girlfriend. Others say wife! Edited November 2, 20214 yr by n64ra
November 2, 20214 yr Let's pause a moment, take a deep breath, and marvel at the direction this program has taken. Stripper monkey pole assassin is awesome.
November 2, 20214 yr Seriosuly, if we had this much bite in 2H of games like we do in 2H of seasons, we'd win the muthafucka... Drunk but not out.. stripper monkey pole assassin has my vote for the next Governor of the great state of Texas!
November 2, 20214 yr Popular Post 5 hours ago, Scheiss Meister said: If the ISU band doesn't play something like Shock The Monkey or We're The Monkees during the game Saturday I will be severely disappointed. ETA - Or The Beatles' Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except For Me And My Monkey. It’s a real fucking shame we aren’t playing Rice this weekend….
November 2, 20214 yr 1 minute ago, Ignatius said: It’s a real fucking shame we aren’t playing Rice this weekend…. Amen. Here's hoping the ISU marching band brings the heat.
November 2, 20214 yr 30 minutes ago, n64ra said: So is Jeff Banks married to or just dating Pole Assassin ? Girlfriend
November 2, 20214 yr 58 minutes ago, nnm said: Well, he’s stroking something. This much has been verified with video evidence. I stroke it to the east And I stroke it to the west And I stroke it to the woman that I love the best I be strokin'
November 2, 20214 yr 19 minutes ago, Ignatius said: It’s a real fucking shame we aren’t playing Rice this weekend…. Those dorks didn't even show up when we played them earlier in the season and they had the Piggy massacre/SEC material to work with
November 2, 20214 yr Correct. But they didn’t have a stripper’s emotional-support monkey biting a trick-or-treater. Allegedly.
November 2, 20214 yr Got to love a woman who has the word "ass" in her title twice, not to mention "in" at the end.
November 2, 20214 yr Just now, HornsOverIthaca said: Once you buy a monkey I’m pretty sure that counts as common law marriage. I'd listen to this man, he's pre-Monkey Law. Granted he failed the Bird Law program. But yes, the case law is settled. Once you go in together on a Joint Tenants with Rights of Monkey Survivorship title, you are common law married. Unless the monkey decides to consume human flesh, then the covenant is broken and the Monkey escheats to the spouse who put in 50% +$1 into the monkey acquisition.
November 2, 20214 yr 1 hour ago, ChickenNuggets said: Let's pause a moment, take a deep breath, and marvel at the direction this program has taken. Stripper monkey pole assassin is awesome. There are few programs that crash and burn in such a spectacular fashion as ours. Even as a complete dumpster fire we are still the talk of the town. Fuck it. At this point I am tuned in solely for the laughs.
November 2, 20214 yr 38 minutes ago, Nope said: Girlfriend This article says her name is Danielle Thomas, but the screenshot announcing the maze is of a person named Danielle Banks. That's why I am getting confused. https://nypost.com/2021/11/02/a-former-stripper-and-a-monkey-are-in-the-middle-of-bizarre-college-football-rumor/
November 2, 20214 yr I think you people (no racist) are being awfully judgmental of this poor man . . . . Who are we to judge a man who leaves his wife for a Pole Assistant stripper who has a monkey?
November 2, 20214 yr 13 minutes ago, AnTiM said: Got to love a woman who has the word "ass" in her title twice, not to mention "in" at the end. It's an adult version of Duck, Duck, Goose. Ass, Ass, In!
November 2, 20214 yr 11 minutes ago, Lobo said: I'd listen to this man, he's pre-Monkey Law. Granted he failed the Bird Law program. Physics for Primates was the real problem,
November 2, 20214 yr 10 minutes ago, smwhorn said: I think you people (no racist) are being awfully judgmental of this poor man . . . . Who are we to judge a man who leaves his wife for a Pole Assistant stripper who has a monkey? Nobody leaves their wife for the assistant stripper.
November 2, 20214 yr 1 minute ago, Deej said: Nobody leaves their wife for the assistant stripper. No, it was Assistant TO the Regional Stripper.
November 2, 20214 yr 3 hours ago, Francisco 2.0 said: Uhh, that would be Penis. Because, you know...aggy.
November 2, 20214 yr @immamac @RGBIII Interview Pole Assassin for the next podcast. She is begging to tell her story. It must be told. Sweet 6 pound baby Jeaus...let it happen. I will drive and lubricate you two fuckers with all the El Rancho margs you can drink.
November 2, 20214 yr 54 minutes ago, n64ra said: This article says her name is Danielle Thomas, but the screenshot announcing the maze is of a person named Danielle Banks. That's why I am getting confused. https://nypost.com/2021/11/02/a-former-stripper-and-a-monkey-are-in-the-middle-of-bizarre-college-football-rumor/ Maybe they eloped on one of their many Vegas trips…hmm
November 3, 20214 yr 27 minutes ago, staboner said: can the monkey play defense? wait. can the monkey coach defense? If you filled a room full of a thousand monkeys and whiteboards, they would end up designing a better defense than the one we run.
November 3, 20214 yr 7 minutes ago, BigSwingingD said: @immamac @RGBIII Interview Pole Assassin for the next podcast. She is begging to tell her story. It must be told. Sweet 6 pound baby Jeaus...let it happen. I will drive and lubricate you two fuckers with all the El Rancho margs you can drink. if you want a halted speech pattern of nouns interspliced with the occasional present tense verb.
November 3, 20214 yr 57 minutes ago, Deej said: It's an adult version of Duck, Duck, Goose. Ass, Ass, In! I thought it went, "ass, mouth, ass, in"
November 3, 20214 yr What happens between a man, a stripper, a monkey, a pole and a neighborhood kid ain't nobody else's business. Them's the Monkey Rules.
November 3, 20214 yr 2 minutes ago, El Diablo said: What happens between a man, a stripper, a monkey, a pole and a neighborhood kid ain't nobody else's business. Them's the Monkey Rules. So I guess that makes Jeff Banks...the Monkey Man? He may get his ass whooped in the Cotton Bowl, but he knows a good Stones song at Fair Park: dollars to donuts they are playing this song right there, right now.
November 3, 20214 yr These are the college football stories Gameday needs to feed America on Saturday mornings instead of our weekly Rinaldi weepfest
November 3, 20214 yr Just now, cmontexas said: These are the college football stories Gameday needs to feed America on Saturday mornings instead of our weekly Rinaldi weepfest That monkey came from an impoverished village and had to fight every day of his life until he made his way to the big city strip joints and got discovered by a woman with a heart of gold. Let Rinaldi cover that.
November 3, 20214 yr Popular Post 46 minutes ago, BigSwingingD said: @immamac @RGBIII Interview Pole Assassin for the next podcast. She is begging to tell her story. It must be told. Sweet 6 pound baby Jeaus...let it happen. I will drive and lubricate you two fuckers with all the El Rancho margs you can drink. She has been invited through every possible avenue
November 3, 20214 yr 25 minutes ago, El Diablo said: What happens between a man, a stripper, a monkey, a pole and a neighborhood kid ain't nobody else's business. Them's the Monkey Rules. Don't forget Doctor of Neighborhood.
November 3, 20214 yr It stands to reason. There is Doctor of Medicine. Doctor of Optometry. Doctor of Pharmacy. Why can't there be a Doctor of Neighborhood, or Demographer for short?
November 3, 20214 yr Just crossed my mind... I think one of our own, @RDCanecutter has some artistic interest in primates. Can't remember if it was monkeys, gorillas or apes but I bet he's got some artwork that depicts a monkey or similar with a stripper or similar or possibly even AS a stripper or similar. Great marketing opportunity here my friend. Get busy!
November 3, 20214 yr 2 hours ago, bad_teammate said: Amen. Here's hoping the ISU marching band brings the heat. Or the PA system:
November 3, 20214 yr I was wondering wtf the special teams guy could have done. This did not disappoint. Looking forward to catching up... page 2 and the shit is already the stuff of legends. Holy shit.
November 3, 20214 yr You know what I love about Texas, and Surly in particular? We find this story hysterical. We’re running with it. It brings us joy.Had this exact same story happened when Banks was at Aggy….aggy would devote all their energy to being defensive, taking about how the trick or treater was clearly a sip spy, monkeys are actually a long-standing aggy turdition, and this proves how red-ass Banks really is, other programs are jealous they don’t have a highly esteemed stripper monkey, blah blah blah.Not us. We embrace the darkness….we were born to it. You think darkness is your ally? You merely adopted the dark. We were born in it, molded by it. We didn't see the light until we were already men, and by then it was nothing to us but blinding!
November 3, 20214 yr 2 minutes ago, Radical Larry said: They need some monkey helmet stickers. Absolutely. Our special teams units in high school were called shit related to bees: Stingers, Hornets, Yellow Jackets, shit like that. So as Texas, the unit will be called "Monkeys" and the helmet awards are based on: You Fake the Punt. You Bite the Pirate. You Fuck the Assassin.
November 3, 20214 yr A woman with an emotional support monkey has got to be the biggest red flag I've ever heard of.
November 3, 20214 yr Is it the same monkey though that she's been bringing up on stage with her all these years to perform on the pole? How do you make the claim that it's an emotional support animal if you also trained it to pick up $2 bills en masse?
November 3, 20214 yr 3 minutes ago, royiv said: A woman with an emotional support monkey has got to be the biggest red flag I've ever heard of.
November 3, 20214 yr Just now, royiv said: A woman with an emotional support monkey has got to be the biggest red flag I've ever heard of. Like the kind you wave in front of a bull?
November 3, 20214 yr Had this exact same story happened when Banks was at Aggy….aggy would devote all their energy to being defensiveThey’d have the monkey fling shit up on that wall of champions and see what stuck?
November 3, 20214 yr 1 minute ago, El Diablo said: Like the kind you wave in front of a bull? Why would you wave an emotional support monkey in front of a bull? Wait, never mind. I totally understand now.
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