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Sounds like they need to import a pack of Tibetan Mastiffs.

 

Get to the Korean man they’re working for.  Only way this ends well. 
 

Serious question-what would win…a pack of homicidal monkeys or a pack of pit bulls bred to fight?  

Edited by Lobo

At the moment, we can neither confirm nor deny the location of Poleassasin's monkey.

Has the town tried negotiating with the monkey leader?

19 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Get to the Korean man they’re working for.  Only way this ends well. 
 

Serious question-what would win…a pack of homicidal monkeys or a pack of pit bulls bred to fight?  

What kind of monkeys?  I don't think the dogs would stand much of a chance against the larger monkey species like baboons.

how many monkeys could you kill before they overwhelmed you?  bare hands.  i'm thinking 1.  maybe 2.  i've seen wild ones on the prowl.  when they attack as a group it's impressive.

6 minutes ago, gsoda3 said:

how many monkeys could you kill before they overwhelmed you?  bare hands.  i'm thinking 1.  maybe 2.  i've seen wild ones on the prowl.  when they attack as a group it's impressive.

Depends on the monkey. For some, that answer is "zero"

7 minutes ago, gsoda3 said:

how many monkeys could you kill before they overwhelmed you?  bare hands.  i'm thinking 1.  maybe 2.  i've seen wild ones on the prowl.  when they attack as a group it's impressive.

Shit, I imagine any monkey over 75 lbs would rip your face off if he had a mind to

7 minutes ago, gsoda3 said:

how many monkeys could you kill before they overwhelmed you?  bare hands.  i'm thinking 1.  maybe 2.  i've seen wild ones on the prowl.  when they attack as a group it's impressive.

Depends. Do kill the first monkey and leave it be or do i kill it and then use it to beat the other monkeys?? Think i can get quite a few with the second choice. 

Just now, Ben Tobin said:

Shit, I imagine any monkey over 75 lbs would rip your face off if he had a mind to

and your dick

3 minutes ago, Ben Tobin said:

Shit, I imagine any monkey over 75 lbs would rip your face off if he had a mind to

the monkeys i saw were about 40 pounds i'd say.  i got really nervous when my kids (all under 5 at the time) got anywhere within a few yards of them.  i was quite intimidated by them.

doggocide aside, that's actually pretty badass of the monkeys.  i mean, how human is taking revenge waaaaaay too far?  better keep an eye on this pack and see if they start walking upright, drinking IPAs and starting conspiracy theory websites claiming that cats actually killed the infant monkeys and framed the dogs

4 minutes ago, gsoda3 said:

the monkeys i saw were about 40 pounds i'd say.  i got really nervous when my kids (all under 5 at the time) got anywhere within a few yards of them.  i was quite intimidated by them.

Think about a really pissed off 40 lb dog. Now imagine that dog climbing up and riding you while he chews through your neck

54 minutes ago, Hanrahan said:

Sounds like they need to import a pack of Tibetan Mastiffs.

 

At a minimum they need a veterinarian of the neighborhood

11 minutes ago, Player said:

At a minimum they need a veterinarian of the neighborhood

What's Dr. Zaius up to these days?

  • Popular Post

1) Semi Auto Bullup Shotgun

2) Helmet with good face mask

3) That scuba diving chain link shark suit shit

4) Machete

…send me in.

20 minutes ago, gyroprotagonist said:

doggocide aside, that's actually pretty badass of the monkeys.  i mean, how human is taking revenge waaaaaay too far?  better keep an eye on this pack and see if they start walking upright, drinking IPAs and starting conspiracy theory websites claiming that cats actually killed the infant monkeys and framed the dogs

Let's hope they don't find a VCR and a TV, get them to work, and then come cross a VHS copy of 'Faces of Death' where somebody out eating beats a monkey to death and eats its brains.

1 minute ago, atomheartbevo said:

Let's hope they don't find a VCR and a TV, get them to work, and then come cross a VHS copy of 'Faces of Death' where somebody out eating beats a monkey to death and eats its brains.

Indiana Jones and Temple of Doom dinner reception scene would start Planet of the Apes for sure

This story is just fascinating; are the monkey being vindictive and know they are going overboard?  Are they just completely eliminating a threat that killed one of their infants?  Where's Koko when you need her to ask these hard-hitting questions?  We know killer whales are yuge assholes and supreme dicks and kill shit for fun.

  • Popular Post

I hate every ape I see, from chimpan-A to chimpanzee

1 hour ago, Foosters said:

Has the town tried negotiating with the monkey leader?

I think you either gotta kick its ass or fuck it into submission. 

Have they thought of importing a rival gang of monkeys?

monkey.jpg

1 minute ago, MC Fresh Breath said:

Better call Paw Patrol.

Oh man, those fuckers cost me so much money over the years.  

I'd love it if some fanimator mini-episode where the town calls Ryder to come help with the dangerous monkeys in India's Adventure Bay.  "Chase, bring the monkey stun-gun, Everest, you cause a distraction to confuse the monkeys.  Rubble, you build a barricade the pups can hide behind.  Marshall, you triage the injured pups." etc., etc., etc. 

Then they show up in the Paw Patroller Transport, the bay door plops down...and all they see are blood-soaked monkeys standing over mutilated dog carcasses with collars drooping from their meat-filled mouths.  The alpha monkey makes eye contact with Chase, points to him with his monkey fist holding a still-beating poodle heart, and belts out a scream to the rest of the monkey pack letting them know fresh meat has arrived.  The paw patrol's faces drop down in horror, they don't even bother to get into their specialized vehicles, they accept their fate, and Robo-Dog shoots each one with a shotgun---old yeller style---before the monkeys can begin the disembowelment by hand process.  

  • Popular Post
2 hours ago, Lobo said:

a pack of pit bulls bred to fight

You could have just said a pack of pit bulls.

Season 3 Nbc GIF by The Office

2 hours ago, Lobo said:

Serious question-what would win…a pack of homicidal monkeys or a pack of pit bulls bred to fight?

source-1564073407.gif?crop=0.838xw:1.00x

1 hour ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

I think you either gotta kick its ass or fuck it into submission. 

That's how you get AIDS 

2 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

Are they just going to leave the cats alone?

The cats are in on it, ya just know it.

3 hours ago, gsoda3 said:

how many monkeys could you kill before they overwhelmed you?  bare hands.  i'm thinking 1.  maybe 2.  i've seen wild ones on the prowl.  when they attack as a group it's impressive.

@Nivek could probably kill 2 or 3 dozen

Anyone remember Travis the Maniacal Chimp? Yeah, fuck those face eating, genital mutilating shits. Kill 'em all.

Where's the outrage from all the dog lovers here?  Komodo dragons ftw...

Spoiler

 

 

Edited by RollLeft

 

5b0576b7d8b4111e857c2ed241d5cefa.jpg

Edited by Deej

4 hours ago, DaggerHorns said:

1) Semi Auto Bullup Shotgun

2) Helmet with good face mask

3) That scuba diving chain link shark suit shit

4) Machete

…send me in.

 

4 hours ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

I think you either gotta kick its ass or fuck it into submission. 

Daggerhorns, your mission should you choose to accept it......we wont judge either way.

Edited by Blotto

They were all wearing these:

f32d15308e445beeb8329f07f5bd2d9d_xl.jpg

5 hours ago, DaggerHorns said:

1) Semi Auto Bullup Shotgun

2) Phased plasma rifle in 40 watt range,

2) Helmet with good face mask

3) That scuba diving chain link shark suit shit

4) Machete

…send me in.

 

Throw banana peels at them all and it will curtail their auto-erotic activities.

atKvMf.gif

8 hours ago, Lobo said:

Get to the Korean man they’re working for.  Only way this ends well. 
 

Serious question-what would win…a pack of homicidal monkeys or a pack of pit bulls bred to fight?  

Thats the best and most thought-provoking question you've ever asked. 

Easy brutha', the fact you think that's a thought-provoking question don't shine too kindly on either of us.  ;)  

Well, we all shine on.  Like the moon and the stars and the sun.  

Packs of killer monkees may as well happen in 2021.  To a shinier and new 2022.  

 

Also, I don't mean to make light of what happened in 2021.  I know it was a very painful year for you Immortal13.  Just have to laugh at what a crazy end-cap to the year.  God bless you and your family in 2022 and forever.  

But seriously?  I just did not have roving Monkey street gangs in India on my Bingo Card.  I mean, I did...but an asshole monkey stole my dabber and in some sort of weird proof of dominance shoved it up the ass of the monkey next to him.  And then they both walked off to the prize booth like nothing had happened.  I mean, who the fuck does that?  

Edited by Lobo

7 hours ago, WBT said:

I hate every ape I see, from chimpan-A to chimpanzee

KPMcAPc.jpg

Never throw your flip flop at a monkey

Edited by immortal13

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