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My “new”fiancé went to Visit her side of the family this past weekend in California. Her moms side time was great because she would pass out some Xanax at night and find a good movie. Ok it happened once but it was nice. Now her dads….it’s different. Big time thinks he’s the best, funniest, strongest, whatever. He was pissed about a few things that eventually got to me so I’ve just been minding my business. Anyway any dinner BAM I get smacked hard by a football in Texas side of the face, I look down and there she is. A legit 2005 Natty Ball Signed by Vince bush Mack Pete and a few more. Had eyed it for years as he’s a usc fan. He said if I hurt his daughter he’d shove that up you know where and I said oh yeah just like we stopped you know who on fourth and one. He laughed. Still a jackass but a little less of one and I get the…badass ball.

So apparently OP has been admiring his soon to be FIL'S one ball so FIL smacked him in the face with it. Kinky 

You know OP practically begged him for it.

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Marrying into a family of prescription drug addicts sounds like a dubious move. On the plus side, the mom will probably suck your dick for baby aspirin.

3 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

What is the Texas side of face?

Perhaps is kinda like doctor of neighborhood. 

I'm sure the future FIL will get over you piping his daughter. I hear USC just signed a great RBs coach. 

Funniest AND strongest? You’re marrying Carrot Top’s daughter?

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Mom is on drugs and dad is a dick.

Don’t feel special, this woman would’ve married anyone.

You missed an opportunity to say "Man I haven't seen a football gifted away like that since Reggie Bush tried that stupid lateral"

so your future FIL offered to shove his one ball up your ass???

 

 

kinky

California

Divorced parents

Drug addled mom

Asshole dad

This "new" fiance better be napalm in the sack.

Also if this engagement doesn't work out.  Do you give the ball back?

Fuccc the haters, sounds like a hell of a Tuesday to me.

And he obviously gets to get high around them.

How's your book coming along?

Edited by KaiserSoze

55 minutes ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

What was wrong with the old fiancee?

Oh her dad gifted him a ball signed by Case McCoy, Scott Derry, and Tristan Nickelson.

13 hours ago, RockyMountainHighHorn said:

My “new”fiancé went to Visit her side of the family this past weekend in California. Her moms side time was great because she would pass out some Xanax at night and find a good movie. Ok it happened once but it was nice. Now her dads….it’s different. Big time thinks he’s the best, funniest, strongest, whatever. He was pissed about a few things that eventually got to me so I’ve just been minding my business. Anyway any dinner BAM I get smacked hard by a football in Texas side of the face, I look down and there she is. A legit 2005 Natty Ball Signed by Vince bush Mack Pete and a few more. Had eyed it for years as he’s a usc fan. He said if I hurt his daughter he’d shove that up you know where and I said oh yeah just like we stopped you know who on fourth and one. He laughed. Still a jackass but a little less of one and I get the…badass ball.

Ryan Reynolds Wtf GIF

Funniest AND strongest? You’re marrying Carrot Top’s daughter?
Something something carpet drapes something.

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