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Oh shit: New pillow guy lawsuit coming "in two weeks"

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#551

Oh hey kids, look...Mike can't extend his thumb because his Thenar space can't extend beyond  a certain point.  Because he used that patch of skin to sniff cocaine, crack, and lick men's semen from.  Also, he's Trump's highest ranking election integrity official.  Go to sleep now, sweet dreams, there'll be Lindell coffee in the morning.  

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#552
1 hour ago, Ted Lange said:

What a time to be alive. 

 

I have a hard time believing that Mike Lindell knows anything worth knowing. You have to be a special kind of stupid to bring him in on a caper or trust him in any meaningful way.

#553
3 minutes ago, Degenerate Gardner said:

I have a hard time believing that Mike Lindell knows anything worth knowing. You have to be a special kind of stupid to bring him in on a caper or trust him in any meaningful way.

"Oh my god! That's Eric Trump's music!"

#554
5 minutes ago, Degenerate Gardner said:

I have a hard time believing that Mike Lindell knows anything worth knowing. You have to be a special kind of stupid to bring him in on a caper or trust him in any meaningful way.

4C28BEDD-35AB-4270-A961-A39EE4AE86A1.gif.44fe2e3c587f662e29cb7ce6fb1dfca1.gif

#555
1 hour ago, Degenerate Gardner said:

I have a hard time believing that Mike Lindell knows anything worth knowing. You have to be a special kind of stupid to bring him in on a caper or trust him in any meaningful way.

Kumar Bottle Rocket 019.jpg

#556
10 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

I've always wondered what idiots eat at hardee's 

nm

 

 

Edited by brown water

#559
3 minutes ago, Pig Bellmont said:

 

Joke stealing mofo.  Good edit job though, more concise and doesn’t lose anything. 

Edited by Pato del Muerto

#560
2 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Joke stealing mofo.  Good edit job though, more concise and doesn’t lose anything. 

lol my bad

#565

He said he doesn't have a computer and does everything on his phone?  So all this election fraud evidence shit he claims he has, he has only looked at on his phone?

Screen+Shot+2021-01-18+at+5.32.50+PM.png

Edited by Beau Vine

#568
14 minutes ago, Native Horn said:

"The American Report" lulz

With a name like that, it must be credible!

#569

So it was My Pillow Guy, at a Hardee's, with the FBI.

We've already had Giuliani, at Four Seasons Landscaping, with the hair dye.

And there was also Brad Parscale, at home, with Bud Light and no shirt.

What's next?

I'll go Jared Kushner, on a boat, with U.S. Coast Guard and Top Secret files

Edited by FirstTimeCaller

#571
1 hour ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

So it was My Pillow Guy, at a Hardee's, with the FBI.

We've already had Giuliani, at Four Seasons Landscaping, with the hair dye.

And there was also Brad Parscale, at home, with Bud Light and no shirt.

What's next?

I'll go Jared Kushner, on a boat, with U.S. Coast Guard and Top Secret files

I’ve got a clue.

Col. Mustard in the dining room with the candlestick. 

#575
1 minute ago, Foosters said:

My guess is either "8 Heads in a Duffel Bag," or "My Friend, Dahmer."

"And I said...what about 'Breakfast at Jeff-e-reys?!?

And she said, 'Well, that's the one head we got!'

And as I recall, we both kinda liked it."  

#576
21 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

Man, that is obscure.

Was bugging me because Lindell looks just like Stan or whoever from the 90’s tv series of It…and that’s the only pic I could find of him in the fridge.  
 

I’ve got another obscure doppelgänger…”there’s grandma now, I’ll introduce you”

Edit: fuck it I can’t even find a good pic.  It’s the mustached corp lackey from Time Chasers, an MST3k classic 

image.jpeg.2b204db8a2067fe2920cc5d876ddcc74.jpeg

 

Edited by Homercles

#578
7 minutes ago, Homercles said:

Was bugging me because Lindell looks just like Stan or whoever from the 90’s tv series of It…and that’s the only pic I could find of him in the fridge.  
 

I’ve got another obscure doppelgänger…”there’s grandma now, I’ll introduce you”

Edit: fuck it I can’t even find a good pic.  It’s the mustached corp lackey from Time Chasers, an MST3k classic 

image.jpeg.2b204db8a2067fe2920cc5d876ddcc74.jpeg

 

Are you a team player, Mike?

#580
1 hour ago, WhatTheBuck said:

I’ve got a clue.

Col. Mustard in the dining room with the candlestick. 

Mayor McCheese in the kitchen with the ketchup. 

#582
12 minutes ago, Sawbonz said:

 

"Counselor!  Counselor!  It's Mike, the My Pillow Guy!  Yeah, that me.  Listen!  The FBI has me surrounded.  They want my phone or me in custody, what do I do?  What?  I'm a Hardee's.  What does that matter?  Yeah, I got my usual Frisco Angus Burger!  What do I do?  Yes, I'm at Hardee's.  No, in the drive-thru.  They've surrounded our vehicle.  Yes, a Hardee's.  In Mankota.  No, not that one.  The nice one.  Yeah, we're getting fries.  Would you fucking focus?  Who the fuck is Uncle Leo?"  

#583
17 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Mayor McCheese in the kitchen with the ketchup. 

Or was it Grimace?

DD752D28-F341-4697-82E0-DCF782AD1AE1.jpeg.71145e09192b874fa9aaeac390902f62.jpeg

#584

Holy shit, he was doing that goofy hand gesture thing way back when?  And to a furbie?  

And with those tiny fingers and propensity to hang with the McDonald's clan...is it any surprise he texted "Hamburder" when he clearly meant "Hamburglar"? 

Edited by YGIFS

#589

The My Urn Guy?  Seems pricey, is there a Ralph's around here?  

#590
7 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

The My Urn Guy?  Seems pricey, is there a Ralph's around here?  

Just because we're bereaved doesn't make us saps!

#591
20 hours ago, Degenerate Gardner said:

I have a hard time believing that Mike Lindell knows anything worth knowing. You have to be a special kind of stupid to bring him in on a caper or trust him in any meaningful way.

Wasn’t he in the Oval Office as one of the people who convinced Trump he could stay in power? He knows plenty 

#592
20 hours ago, Degenerate Gardner said:

I have a hard time believing that Mike Lindell knows anything worth knowing. You have to be a special kind of stupid to bring him in on a caper or trust him in any meaningful way.

 

 

Look Around the Poker Table; If You Can’t See the Sucker, You’re It

#594
5 hours ago, Sawbonz said:

Wasn’t he in the Oval Office as one of the people who convinced Trump he could stay in power? He knows plenty 

The meeting with Giuliani, Sidney Powell, and Michael Flynn in the days leading up to the Jan. 6 insurrection was with the Overstock.com CEO Patrick Byrne. That was the one Pat Cipollone testified about.  

#595
7 hours ago, HenryJames said:

He’ll always be Percy Pringle to me.

Percy Pringle couldn't carry Jim Cornette's jock if you spotted him a motorized wheelbarrow.

#596
15 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

Percy Pringle couldn't carry Jim Cornette's jock if you spotted him a motorized wheelbarrow.

Decent chance that Jim Cornette would disagree with you tbh

Edited by trauma babe

#597
14 minutes ago, trauma babe said:

Decent chance that Jim Cornette would disagree with you tbh

Better chance that he'd smack you with his tennis racket for that comment.

#599
17 hours ago, YGIFS said:

"Counselor!  Counselor!  It's Mike, the My Pillow Guy!  Yeah, that me.  Listen!  The FBI has me surrounded.  They want my phone or me in custody, what do I do?  What?  I'm a Hardee's.  What does that matter?  Yeah, I got my usual Frisco Angus Burger!  What do I do?  Yes, I'm at Hardee's.  No, in the drive-thru.  They've surrounded our vehicle.  Yes, a Hardee's.  In Mankota.  No, not that one.  The nice one.  Yeah, we're getting fries.  Would you fucking focus?  Who the fuck is Uncle Leo?"  

More like this: “[to FBI] You’ll have to arrest me before you get my phone. Yes, I’m serious. Just let me talk to my attorney first… 

[calls attorney]

So the FBI is here and they’ve been asking a lot of questions.

Well I didn’t say much.

20 minutes.

Ok Ok calm down. I told them they can’t have my phone- they’d have to arrest me first. 

Wait they would? Obstruction? Five years?

Fine! I’ll give them the fucking phone. I’m not paying for this phone call!”

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