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Featured Replies

4 minutes ago, mooseoutfront said:

In the summer, the outhouse thaws and it sounds like a cow patty hitting the ground.  In the winter, it builds up into what we call the poop-cicle.  Think of a stalagmite of shit rising up from the bottom.  We have a dedicated stick we use to knock it down when it gets too close to the seat.

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  • mooseoutfront
    mooseoutfront

    After posting some in the non-Texas Winter weather thread, I had some requests to start my own thread about my life in Alaska.   The backstory...My wife and I have lived completely off the g

  • mooseoutfront
    mooseoutfront

    Yesterday started off so nice.  The Lights were out on my way to work.

  • mooseoutfront
    mooseoutfront

    Hard no  

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1 hour ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Do you worship at the feet of a statue of Dick Proenneke?

I couldn't hold his jock strap.  We live 3.5 miles from the highway.  It's all I can handle sometimes and I've got an awesome partner in my wife.  He did it alone out in the bush for 20 or 30 years if I recall correctly.  All the way into his 80's I think.

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2 hours ago, ztejas said:

Have you ever mistaken your wife for an adolescent grizzly bear during the winter months when I imagine her pelt is grown out and kept especially bushy for warmth? 

Lulz.  She's still a Texas girl.  She keeps it knocked back pretty well, but we all have our moments don't we?

12 minutes ago, mooseoutfront said:

In the summer, the outhouse thaws and it sounds like a cow patty hitting the ground.  In the winter, it builds up into what we call the poop-cicle.  Think of a stalagmite of shit rising up from the bottom.  We have a dedicated stick we use to knock it down when it gets too close to the seat.

When i was in Scouts, my troop went to summer camp at one of the nearby Scout Camps every summer.  My first year was the last year Camp Texoma was open (we did Camp Constantin at PK thereafter).

They had latrines in a wooden shed with two seats and a shower (that was really unfortunate), and, because Texoma was closing (lost lease or permission from CoE, I believe), the latrines had not been "emptied" or "sucked out" or treated or whatever it is that reduces the height of the shit stalagmite.  Except the shit stalagmite wasn't frozen. It was fresh.  And raw.  And it was hideously close to the seat.

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2 hours ago, XYZ said:

You are able to grow weed in Alaska??? Doesn’t weed require temperate weather? (asking for a friend)

Greenhouses are a must, but I do quite well. 

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You guys ever consider posting the place on Airbnb?

How do you get the bidet to work? Do you use one of those Bondell travel ones instead? This all seems doable if you don't have to shit like a savage. 

28 minutes ago, mooseoutfront said:

Greenhouses are a must, but I do quite well. 

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i must say, that's lovely.

50 minutes ago, mooseoutfront said:

We have a dedicated stick we use to knock it down when it gets too close to the seat.

Please be sure and submit your entry into the Shit Stick Hall of Fame once you retire it. 

Edited by hookemATL

59 minutes ago, mooseoutfront said:

In the summer, the outhouse thaws and it sounds like a cow patty hitting the ground.  In the winter, it builds up into what we call the poop-cicle.  Think of a stalagmite of shit rising up from the bottom.  We have a dedicated stick we use to knock it down when it gets too close to the seat.

A shit stick, you say? 

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1 hour ago, mooseoutfront said:

By off the grid I mean for our energy needs.  We don't have electricity or indoor plumbing, but we can stream movies and have internet access at the cabin.  There is a cell tower about 4 miles from us.

We have 2 generators.  A Honda 2200 for the small stuff.  A 3500 for power tools and the meat grinder.  We also have 5 battery packs I take to work on a rotation to charge. 

I've wondered how often you have to get gas if you depend to an extent on generators. Where do you store it?

1 hour ago, mooseoutfront said:

In the summer, the outhouse thaws and it sounds like a cow patty hitting the ground.  In the winter, it builds up into what we call the poop-cicle.  Think of a stalagmite of shit rising up from the bottom.  We have a dedicated stick we use to knock it down when it gets too close to the seat.

I believe one Shaggy wife had pretty good success solving this problem with a plastic knife.

 

Edited by retread

1 hour ago, Your Mom said:

And thanks for what looks like it has the potential to be the best thread on surly.  Username checks out. 

This. This thread fucking rules.

Greenhouses are a must, but I do quite well. 
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Goddamn. I got a contact high just looking at This picture.

Typical native Texans, more guts than brains.  Just kidding.  I love you guys!  Best of luck!

Did y’all buy or build your cabin? Any other outbuilding other than the shitter at the cabin? That one pic of the cabin looks like you are in a heavily wooded area. What does your regular garden look like?

What’s the typical meal situation like on a weekday? What’s on the menu?

All I can think about is how long my wife and I, or really me and any other human being, would have made it out there in a 400 Sq foot cabin. 12 years. Holy shit dude. Talk about finding your soul mate. 

4 hours ago, ztejas said:

Have you ever mistaken your wife for an adolescent grizzly bear during the winter months when I imagine her pelt is grown out and kept especially bushy for warmth? 

Just look for breasts.

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Quite an adventure, but at least you have your wife to share it with.

My dad had a taste of that life in a tent for 7 months when he was helping get rid of the Japanese invaders on the Aleutian Islands in 1943.

 

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Edited by Armybrat

1. Have you found gold yet?

2. If the Russians successfully reclaim Alaska, will you even know?

3. And if you do know, will you turn on us?

All I can think about is how long my wife and I, or really me and any other human being, would have made it out there in a 400 Sq foot cabin. 12 years. Holy shit dude. Talk about finding your soul mate. 

Yeah, I’m happily married but there is no way I could do that with my wife. I don’t really think we could live like that for 10 days.

Do you ever think you will return to civilization? Could you ever see yourself living in Katy?

I went up there on an REI trip a few years back. We went from Fairbanks up to Prudhoe Bay. Stopped by this trappers house, Jack Reakoff in Wiseman. He has a great Facebook page where he posts pics monthly. Really loved the trip and Alaska.

Thanks for the great thread!


Could you ever see yourself living in Katy?


Who would even ask a man such a thing? Have some decency man.

I’ve watched every single “reality” show filmed in Alaska and all I can say is :

 

 

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5 hours ago, UTGrad98 said:

All I can think about is how long my wife and I, or really me and any other human being, would have made it out there in a 400 Sq foot cabin. 12 years. Holy shit dude. Talk about finding your soul mate. 

Well, it wouldn't be a very fair fight.

Her: You want to do what?

Me: Live off the land in Alaska.

Her: Frown

Me (Seeing her facial expression): Like in the Keanu Reeves movie.

Her: What Keanu Reeves movie.

Me: The one were he and his loving wife move to Alaska and through the trials of a tough life learn how to love each other and then together they strike it rich prospering for gold.

Her: Keanu Reeves never made a movie like that

Me: Well, he would if we moved to Alaska and told our story.

Her (catching on): I ain't moving to Alaska so you better get a dog to keep you warm.

7 hours ago, mooseoutfront said:

Greenhouses are a must, but I do quite well. 

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If you happen to bump into a guy name Tom Terwilliger from Ketchikan, tell him I said high. He is a wealth of info.

10 hours ago, mooseoutfront said:

Greenhouses are a must, but I do quite well. 

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MTF?  I grew up in Chugiak and it was always the strain of choice.

11 hours ago, mooseoutfront said:

In the summer, the outhouse thaws and it sounds like a cow patty hitting the ground.  In the winter, it builds up into what we call the poop-cicle.  Think of a stalagmite of shit rising up from the bottom.  We have a dedicated stick we use to knock it down when it gets too close to the seat.

I can't.  I make my wife poop at work during the week or at the Stripes down the street from our house on the weekend.

1 hour ago, Grippe said:

MTF?  I grew up in Chugiak and it was always the strain of choice.

"Off the grid Alaska thread of dominance and pot"

12 hours ago, mooseoutfront said:

 

 

Edited by Post Oak

43 minutes ago, South Austin said:

This all sounds quite miserable.

Everything sounds pretty cool to me except the limited showering part. For both parties. 

19 minutes ago, Quagmire said:

Does your wife do anal ?

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13 hours ago, mooseoutfront said:

Greenhouses are a must, but I do quite well. 

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40 minutes ago, Quagmire said:

Does your wife do anal ?

I remember when we'd just ask for pictures 

55 minutes ago, Quagmire said:

Does your wife do anal ?

Username checks out. 

What's the cost of living like now? My only experience up there is Kodiak, so island pricing, but milk was $7 a gallon in 1979.

15 hours ago, mooseoutfront said:

In the summer, the outhouse thaws and it sounds like a cow patty hitting the ground.  In the winter, it builds up into what we call the poop-cicle.  Think of a stalagmite of shit rising up from the bottom.  We have a dedicated stick we use to knock it down when it gets too close to the seat.

So like camping in Oklahoma state parks....

Dad’s tent in Alaska, courtesy of Uncle Sam 1943

I guess latrine shitstick duty was the E1’s responsibility.

 

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Edited by Armybrat

I’ll bet they didn’t have aloe-infused Cottonelle toilet paper, either. I’d never last. 

32 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

Dad’s tent in Alaska, courtesy of Uncle Sam 1943

I guess latrine shitstick duty was the E1’s responsibility.

 

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"Mularkey, head over to the latrine and knock over the shit hill. On the double soldier!" 

I fucking hate the cold, so it’s a complete non-starter for me, but it does seem quite fascinating. I’d also be interested to hear some of the more harrowing incidents y’all have endured. Doesn’t sound like there’s ever been an animal issue, but what about injury? Or getting snowed in for way longer than expected and having supply issues? What if there was a fire in the cabin? Could you get out and get a vehicle running fast enough?

Also, I just don’t get the lack of improvement in outhouse design since they were first invented. Why not at least have a hallway to it? How hard is it to dig there? Could you place it and some sort of composting system underground or does the ground freeze so deep that such an idea isn’t feasible? What about a fireplace or heating unit in there that you could fire up from inside the house before you go out? And to avoid shit-towers and poop-knives, why not have a compostable bag setup in there? Sure it would stay frozen all winter, but when the thaw comes you’d greatly supplement whatever compost system you use. That may be a stretch since I imagine there’s pathogen concerns, but if it’s just your and your wife, then it’s kind of your own germs anyway, right? I’m not a scientist so I may be completely wrong.

13 hours ago, Hate said:


Yeah, I’m happily married but there is no way I could do that with my wife. I don’t really think we could live like that for 10 days.

Do you ever think you will return to civilization? Could you ever see yourself living in Katy?

I thought you said return to civilization?

Fuck yes! This thread. 
 

My step dad in WA lived up in central-ish Alaska for 20yrs and has some amazing photos like yours.  Good stuff man, thanks for sharing

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