April 5, 20223 yr Speaking of doing time, I wonder how Ricky the Pedo is doing?A few years ago somebody posted he only had a few months left IIRC. So, I guess he is out and in front of mirrors flexing again.
April 5, 20223 yr 10 hours ago, Longboard Horn said: https://www.statesman.com/story/news/2017/04/14/i-35-rock-thrower-patrick-johnson-pleads-guilty-gets-40-years/986916007/ Too bad, sounds like we could've used him in our bullpen
April 5, 20223 yr 20 hours ago, 52-80 said: This place is starting to sound like a goddamn cantina in Mos Eisley Wanna buy some death sticks?
April 5, 20223 yr 20 hours ago, 52-80 said: This place is starting to sound like a goddamn cantina in Mos Eisley Wanna buy some death sticks?
April 5, 20223 yr That APD detective work reminds me of the John Mulaney bit about old timey detectives at a homicide scene. "Detective Lt., sir. We found a pool of the killer's blood down the escape pathway." "Ewwwww, gross! Mop it up. Now...back to my hunch....." 80 9-1-1 calls within 30 minutes of each and every rock throwing incident. And nobody saw a correlation? I mean I'm no programmer of patter algorithms or whatever they're called. But after a few dozen shifts on "rock throwing duty", I'd probably pick on the same fucking phone number/voice/reporting story from witness. So we got a body mutilator, a pedophile drug-slinging dick-sucking nearly homicidal tow-truck driver, a more traditional pedophile, and a guy who thinks Uxoricide is hilarious. We may want to rethink our asks when it comes time to re-up NIL and advertising arrangements.
April 5, 20223 yr I'll admit that I had to look up uxoricide. That seems like it might be a useful word to know.
April 5, 20223 yr 21 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said: I'll admit that I had to look up uxoricide. That seems like it might be a useful word to know. "Hey honey guess what i learned about on surly today!"
April 5, 20223 yr 54 minutes ago, B00M said: "Hey honey guess what i learned about on surly today!" Hey don't blame it on me when she asks who on surly told you. It's just a cursory understanding of Latin. And murder. And Latin murder. And murder Latin. I gotta get on Jeopardy.
April 5, 20223 yr Scipio deserves a mention if he hasn't already. Going back to austin360 days, posterioriA (Robert Heard) used to post on general UT message boards a lot, before Inside Texas had one of their own.
April 5, 20223 yr Hornius Emeritus and his "Cut his package clean off" stories.... Bclarke and his "McKinney - a True Texas Hero" letter to Fellow Farmers and 12th Men Thujon and his "2010 Season in Review" (Garret, I'm open! I see you Fozzy! Boink.) ....and in a sort of surprise 4th spot, because it still makes me laugh every time I even think about it TreatyOak for his "Custer to Lead Sioux Campaign" entry into the "They Are Terrible, We Should Win Convincingly" thread
April 6, 20223 yr Am I the only one that remembers Billy humor and his Horseshit Mafia?I haven’t seen phlegm in a while. Kinda worries me.TPE was pretty fucking funny. Lost my shit one day reading his comment about how they should’ve made a bobble head doll for Katherine Hepburn.And +1 on Scipio
April 6, 20223 yr Yeah, Scipio was funny. Who was the guy, I think this goes back 20 years now on either LFZ or hornfans.com that had the rant on Buca di Beppo for a first date?
April 6, 20223 yr On 4/4/2022 at 3:26 PM, Augustus said: Holy shit, I'd never even heard of the Cave murder/dismemberment. Kind of sorry I googled that. Dude was a National Merit Scholar, kid with a bright future, etc. And if ever we needed more evidence that crazy attracts crazy, he just happens to have an ex-gf that's totally down with taking a hacksaw to a corpse--not to move/hide the body or anything, just to, you know, disassemble some stuff. I couldn't glean whether they suspected her of participation in the murder. If an ex of mine called me up and said, "I just whacked my boyfriend, could you head over here with hacksaw and bring your passport" I'm almost certainly gonna decline. There’s a Podcast series called The Orange Tree. You should listen to it. Bernard
April 6, 20223 yr 17 hours ago, B00M said: "Hey honey guess what i learned about on surly today!" She retorts, "Just don't look up mariticide, okay baby?"
April 6, 20223 yr 16 hours ago, MirrOlure said: Hornius Emeritus and his "Cut his package clean off" stories.... That was Big Will. (or did he eventually change his name to Hornius Emeritus?)
April 6, 20223 yr On 4/4/2022 at 2:34 PM, Marfa Low Crown said: Really miss SpiderAg When SpiderAg posted about getting thrown in jail was probably the funniest thin I ever read on a message board.
April 6, 20223 yr I always enjoyed the posts from(snax, snacks? ) who wrote in the stream of consciousness mode. Mostly from the old site.
April 6, 20223 yr 1 hour ago, KaiserSoze said: That was Big Will. (or did he eventually change his name to Hornius Emeritus?) You're probably right...I did google "cut his package clean off HornFans" and saw a post from HE....but I'm not going to populate my Google search profile with that same search again!
April 6, 20223 yr He's not Mt Rushmore worthy, but I do miss dangersnax. He's got a real talent with phrasing. It was like a neo-beatnik kind of thing. I seemed to recall a poster accidentally outing himself as dsnax because he forgot which username he was logged in under, but I can't recall whom.
April 6, 20223 yr 7 hours ago, KaiserSoze said: That was Big Will. (or did he eventually change his name to Hornius Emeritus?) I think big will is Gil Bang
April 7, 20223 yr On 4/3/2022 at 5:33 PM, Ignatius said: Is Digdogger still around? Dude cracked me up… My favorite line of his was in a thread called ‘Describe your relationship with your parents in one word’. His response: ‘Erotic’
April 7, 20223 yr On 4/5/2022 at 8:44 PM, tbone_ said: Am I the only one that remembers Billy humor and his Horseshit Mafia? I haven’t seen phlegm in a while. Kinda worries me. TPE was pretty fucking funny. Lost my shit one day reading his comment about how they should’ve made a bobble head doll for Katherine Hepburn. And +1 on Scipio TPE was great, and he literally invented the word ‘aggy’ in a thread titled something like “I’m gonna always refer to Aggies as aggy and see if it catches on”. I think he’s a doctor now?
April 8, 20223 yr On 4/5/2022 at 11:40 AM, C-Man said: “I'm stunned ... I'm pissed ... it's Mack Brown" can you cliff notes on the origin story of that quote because it escapes me.
April 8, 20223 yr 1 hour ago, futureman said: can you cliff notes on the origin story of that quote because it escapes me. If you are serious, it goes back to either the Big 12 Sports message boards -- or maybe the very early days of HornFans.com. The Horns were deciding between Gary Barnett and Mack Brown and conventional wisdom was that that Texas would hire Barnett. Texlarry was the OG insider -- the dude knew shit and shared it from time to time on the boards. At any rate, on the day in question this was his simple post: "I'm stunned ... I'm pissed ... it's Mack Brown" and the boards erupted. Not long after, Mack Brown was announced as successor to John Mackovic. (Full disclosure: I was Team Barnett, just like texlarry.) (And if I missed the sarcasm and needlessly answered this question, I apologize.)
April 8, 20223 yr 12 minutes ago, C-Man said: If you are serious, it goes back to either the Big 12 Sports message boards -- or maybe the very early days of HornFans.com. The Horns were deciding between Gary Barnett and Mack Brown and conventional wisdom was that that Texas would hire Barnett. Texlarry was the OG insider -- the dude knew shit and shared it from time to time on the boards. At any rate, on the day in question this was his simple post: "I'm stunned ... I'm pissed ... it's Mack Brown" and the boards erupted. Not long after, Mack Brown was announced as successor to John Mackovic. (Full disclosure: I was Team Barnett, just like texlarry.) (And if I missed the sarcasm and needlessly answered this question, I apologize.) I was unaware of hornfans at that time. I was 11.
April 8, 20223 yr Not Mt Rushmore-worthy, but special shoutouts to... 1 - The author of the Big XII Championship game / Texas-UNC basketball game day of drunkenness 2 - The author of the Waco Christmas lights story
April 8, 20223 yr It was Texas/Arizona hoops. But yeah, 2+ decades years later, but I still read it once a year or so and still genuinely laugh. Always wanted to meet that guy in person. That itinerary and the Hunter S Thompson daily agenda are two of the funniest pieces to me because they come across as the most demented way to spend a day. I’ve spent equally debauchery-filled 24-hr periods but I never thought to chronicle it so precisely and certainly not with such unintentional, erudite wit.
April 8, 20223 yr 3 - The fucking Loko story Quote Ok, sorry for the lack of updates. Eventually the Loko's caught up with me and hit me like a fucking runaway train. My friend tried to get me in bed, and then left after he thought I was asleep. I remember none of this. The first flash of consciousness came when some police officer was strapping handcuffs on to me for Public Intoxication. Apparently I was stumbling around the courtyard of my complex barefooted with my chef's apron on. I really don't know how that came about, all I remember is the horrible ride in the police car with the handcuffs behind my back. Spending the night in jail really sucked and I just got home a little while ago. FML... Anyone on the shaggy legal team want to advise me on the rules of PI? I plead not guilty, but I just want to get this to go away with some community service or what not. I do not wan this on my record and I can't afford to pay a fine... btw, the door to my apartment was open when I got back with Itunes still playing music. It looked like a bull had run through a china shop. I am officially done with Four Loko.
April 9, 20223 yr 21 hours ago, C-Man said: If you are serious, it goes back to either the Big 12 Sports message boards -- or maybe the very early days of HornFans.com. The Horns were deciding between Gary Barnett and Mack Brown and conventional wisdom was that that Texas would hire Barnett. Texlarry was the OG insider -- the dude knew shit and shared it from time to time on the boards. At any rate, on the day in question this was his simple post: "I'm stunned ... I'm pissed ... it's Mack Brown" and the boards erupted. Not long after, Mack Brown was announced as successor to John Mackovic. (Full disclosure: I was Team Barnett, just like texlarry.) (And if I missed the sarcasm and needlessly answered this question, I apologize.) It was on the hookem.com/360.com site, which where all of nutjobs congregated prior to HornFans…
April 9, 20223 yr 17 hours ago, Lobo said: It was Texas/Arizona hoops. But yeah, 2+ decades years later, but I still read it once a year or so and still genuinely laugh. Always wanted to meet that guy in person. Too late, he died a few years ago…
April 9, 20223 yr On 4/8/2022 at 10:12 AM, TrashMaster G said: Not Mt Rushmore-worthy, but special shoutouts to... 1 - The author of the Big XII Championship game / Texas-UNC basketball game day of drunkenness 2 - The author of the Waco Christmas lights story And also the barbequing of the opponent visitor's (was it Colorado?) pet dog story. It was like the horror version of the aggy fanfic "visitor in awe of aggy hospitality".
April 10, 20223 yr On 4/3/2022 at 7:16 PM, T’Boo Ted Marshall said: Bill in Sinton Longhorn Bob Can't believe it too this long to bring up LHB. Miss his Texas Independence Day posts. He showed up periodically on Burnt Orange Fan Zone (founded by Longhorn Fan Zone deadenders) until that site went dark as well. Think too much Charlie Strong killed the owners' interest.
April 11, 20223 yr Haven't gone through this whole thread, but outside of RamJet, Thujone and maybe Derka, I've got nothing to add. But I do often think and have a good chuckle about Jade's "chili" so there's that.
April 11, 20223 yr Honorable mention for @Angry Gorilla and the peanut butter whiskey live-blogging. I watched the posts in real time and it was spectacular. We all need a reprise. Edited April 11, 20223 yr by nnm
April 12, 20223 yr I still laugh about the letter @Brisketexan got from the guy in prison, AKA, the “tic-tac-toe” thread.
April 13, 20223 yr On 4/11/2022 at 5:15 PM, nnm said: Honorable mention for @Angry Gorilla and the peanut butter whiskey live-blogging. I watched the posts in real time and it was spectacular. We all need a reprise. wasn't he threatening to do a part 2 on this? did it ever happen?
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