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Featured Replies

I'm going to ask for the same thing I ask for every year: a plate of enchiladas, followed by a long nap.

What I'll actually get? Same thing I get every year: a tie I'll wear one time, and a syrupy, sappy sweet card signed by wife, kids and (this drives me nuts, but I'm smart enough not to say so) "the cats".  Newflash: cats can't read or write. Get those stupid paw prints off of my goddamned card.

Hopefully a kitchen pass to go out to Flat Creek Crossing Ranch for a good ride followed by a nap, sex, and beer.  And then maybe I'll cook some burgers and finish with a couple hours of mindless TV before I fall asleep.  That would be a pretty good day.

I have finally convinced my wife that she should just buy me shit I've told her I need.  This year it's kitchen stuff -- oven mitts, insulated coffee mugs, tongs, spatulas, measuring spoons & cups.  F'n A romantic.

Given the apparent truism that we're gonna drop a couple hundred bucks on every Mother's Day and Father's Day, I just name a restaurant and haul our brood there for dinner to make up for the shortfall.  This year I'm thinking Fonda San Miguel.  I usually do BBQ (Louie Mueller's, etc.).

I told my wife not to get me anything, that way I don't have to get her anything on mother's day.

She was not pleased. 

I've tried that, it doesn't work out very good.

Edited by Yarbr

No kids, just pets. I'll get my usual: a wakeup beej from my wife as a 'thank you' for not wanting offspring. We're sentimental.

This’ll be my first without my dad, and my wife’s first without hers.  We both lost our dads within 4 months of each other.  It’ll be a somber affair I’m guessing.  But we’ll go sailing, so it won’t be bad.

Finding out if my dad is dead or not.

8 hours ago, 6th Street said:

I told my wife not to get me anything, that way I don't have to get her anything on mother's day.

She was not pleased. 

lol_idi_amin.gif

Yeah, we know how that goes.

This year, I'll probably give her a few items to buy, although basically, especially with adult or near-adult kids, to me Father's Day is 75% from the kids and 25% from the spouse (I'm not my wife's father, although I guess at times I smack her on the ass and say 'Call me Daddy').  But just a REAL acknowledgement from the kids that I fucking rule their world and the only difference between Jesus and me is that Jesus can hit a curveball, is good enough.

As far as the sex, after 24 years of marriage (and usually great sex, we're both trying to stay in shape) we don't really feel the need to do anything "special" for holidays; it's all in the easy ebb/flow of our sexual habits.  If the timing works out for that day, hell yeah.  If not, no big deal.

Edited by phdhorn

I want the wife to take the kids somewhere for the day. I'll sit on the couch, order food, drink beer, and watch the U.S. Open.....it won't happen 

What I ask for : Steak, Beer, BJ, Coffee Cup, and for the house to be quiet

What I get: none of the above.....

4 hours ago, Macanudo said:

I want a blow job.   

 

 

That won't happen.

It’ll happen if you ate her out for mother’s day 

Edited by Longboard Horn

Actual Father's day, my kids will be spending the week with my parents, so probably play golf, watch the US Open, cook some steaks or something for me and the wife, and probably some sex in there somewhere, we will see how it all pans out. 

Kids will do their 'make dad breakfast and give him something we made him' thing the weekend before or after

I've bought a few things recently and gave them to her to give to me on Father's Day.

Audio Technica Turntable

Anova Sous Vid 2nd Gen WIFI enabled immersion cooker

John Prine's newest limited edition LP

I'd like a Bikini Top for the Bronco or some sort of hoist for the hard-top in the garage. I'd settle for a day of no questions

I'll be spending mine at ball field. Son has a tournament that weekend. 

Nothing, same as all the past ones. We have had a no present policy for longer than we have had kids. We’re teaching our kids the same thing, so hopefully their future husbands (or wives I guess if they go that direction) will be thankful.

We’ll go to the lake and then stop in and see my Dad, just like most other Summer weekends.

Early morning hike to the top of some mountain in time for sunrise.

Home to find wife has taken kids to church and left me alone in the house.

Nap until I feel like not napping.

Up to cook late lunch/early dinner (aged ribeye, etc. etc. etc.)

Walk with dog after dinner.

Evening in hammock in my backyard, beverages aplenty.

Fin.

Hoping for a pressure washer and handheld steam cleaner. Will probably get something that I won't wear.

Dammit I'm going to have my shoulder immobilized in a sling for the next 6 weeks so I won't be able to fish with my dad.

The best father's day gift I could hope for is a text from my son confirming he hasn't broken his leg while jumping out of perfectly good airplanes at Ft. Benning.  And a call from my daughter.

Gonna pick up my daughter from her mothers and do something she considers fun.  Maybe a water park.  Then somewhere I want to go for dinner, something lowkey, possibly Biker Jim's hotdogs downtown.  I don't want any gifts, I don't want to do anything fancy.  Just spend time with my daughter and see her be her.

My son just claimed my 8wt fly rod as his own, so I guess I'm going to go buy a new one. 

It's my first fathers day. Our son was born the Friday after Mother's Day.

I'd be really into the new e-go weed whacker or my go-to....which is any criquet polo....

But I should just ask for stuff for the newborn, right?

It's my first fathers day. Our son was born the Friday after Mother's Day.

I'd be really into the new e-go weed whacker or my go-to....which is any criquet polo....

But I should just ask for stuff for the newborn, right?


Sounds like the perfect opportunity to ask for buttseks.
30 minutes ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Looks like we get to add a Longhorn baseball game to the mix.

Fuck yes.

My kids are teenagers, so they likely won't even know it's Father's day unless the wife tells them.  I'll be content to enjoy some time in the sun and a nice meal.

I’m thinking I’m getting a display for the set of Blanton’s stoppers and going out for a good steak. And something homemade from the 5 yr old. It will be a good day

On 6/2/2018 at 1:17 AM, 6th Street said:

I told my wife not to get me anything, that way I don't have to get her anything on mother's day.

She was not pleased. 

It's funny because it's true!

 

My kids have to play tennis with me.  After that, everyone leave me alone.  

5 hours ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Looks like we get to add a Longhorn baseball game to the mix.

Bink!

We usually go see a Disney/Pixar movie on Father's Day morning. Incredibles 2 comes out this weekend. 

Gonna take the 3-year old fishing after church.  Then go home, BBQ, and watch Texas in Omaha, and then swim.  Should be a fun day.  First relaxing one I've had in awhile.  

Going to see my 88 year old father who is not doing well. Could be my last Father's day with him.

 

I'll put some beef, pork and/or chicken on the BGE and have dinner at home with my family while watching the Horns and the US Open.

Edit: alcohol will be involved as well.

I'll be watching my son (10) play in a lacrosse tournament in Tahoe this weekend. When we're at the hotel after each day's games, I'll be having drinks by the pool.

18 hours ago, HornPhD said:

I'll be watching my son (10) play in a lacrosse tournament in Tahoe this weekend. When we're at the hotel after each day's games, I'll be having drinks by the pool.

I'm going to go out on a limb and assume you're white.  

10 hours ago, Lobo said:

I'm going to go out on a limb and assume you're white.  

What gave it away, Detective Drebin? 

 

Work on Sunday, will probably go out for dinner on Friday, breakfast on Saturday.  We don’t exchange gifts anymore, waste of time and money. 

my 11 yr old dirt has a colonoscopy (crohn’s) scheduled for monday. means she won’t be able to eat anything all day sunday. i’ll be on the one day liquid diet with her. 

Watching Le Mans, assembling the boy's first skateboard with/for him, and putting together a needlessly complex swing set. 

Taking the boys to visit my parents for the weekend.  We are going to do a brisket and finish building a tree house.  That plus the World Cup games and Texas in the CWS and it is setting up to be a pretty nice little weekend.

Gifts are a waste for the most part.  Just spend some good quality time with the old man doing manly things.

Edited by Kringelbert Fishtybuns

Driving to stillwater to drop my kid off at wrestling camp.  might stop at braums on my way home.  you guys need to hide your jealousy.  

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