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Featured Replies

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  • Views 886.5k
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  • closetojumping
    closetojumping

    I had the chance to talk to a buddy who has been to multiple practices and every person on this thread except the clown that thinks NFL scouts make a bunch of money would trust this buddy's unvarnishe

  • CurlyDumps
    CurlyDumps

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2 minutes ago, futureman said:

just brutal. 

Futureman wants your fist up his ass, is that correct usage?

 

2 minutes ago, Vito Andolini said:

Holy shit with the your/you’re butchering, it ain’t that hard.

Ewer correct.

1 minute ago, Farmer Vincent said:

Futureman wants your fist up his ass, is that correct usage?

it is. proud of you. 

35 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

lol 

25138957-F885-41A6-81DF-E8E99D45CC5A.jpeg

I am going to steal from Babers on this point. Quinn was the one meeting Neyor, Manning, and Addison. Worthy changed his social media page to a picture of Ewers. Babers basically said Ewers won the locker room the moment he got to Texas. I am sure people have other reasons, but I thought that was an interesting data point 

9 minutes ago, futureman said:

just brutal. 

I may never survive an autocrat by apple….

1 hour ago, Surly Bevo said:

I have it on good authority that Derka had a menage with Kate Upton AND Angie Varona last weekend.  His rap game won them over.

riley rose critchlow vomit GIF by Anime Crimes Division

7 minutes ago, Farmer Vincent said:

Futureman wants your fist up his ass, is that correct usage?

 

If that’s your comment you’re either drunk or stupid.  Pick one because the grownups are talking.  

1 minute ago, SDG said:

If that’s your comment you’re either drunk or stupid.  Pick one because the grownups are talking.  

You have to know the back story there SDG, Futureman and fisting have a long history, I didn't just pull that out of my ass

2 minutes ago, SDG said:

If that’s your comment you’re either drunk or stupid.  Pick one because the grownups are talking.  

I know, right?  this is a forum of learned doctors. 

26 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

I said last year in November, in response to someone on a thread somewhere, I don’t remember which board or thread, that no one on the roster currently would be taking the open snap at QB for Texas in game one of 2022. 

@closetohumping decided he’d take the other side of the argument and said he found that hard to believe. I said let’s bet, name any price. He chose $1000 and the stipulation is that injury nullifies the bet, nothing else will. Someone from 2021’s roster had to take the snap. 

Did I know that Casey Thompson was out? No, but I knew that they knew that his dad was pleading his case and whining about the program to several $9.95ers. He handed Chip Brown the bullshit about racist boosters pressuring the staff to play Card. So, seemed like he was going to be gone. Card was so shaken by that point that there were doubts he’d return. 

Did I know that Ewers was coming? No. Knew he was unhappy by November, but who didn’t? It just seemed obvious that they were going hunting for someone that gave them hope at QB in the portal. 

Anyway, I haven’t checked my Venmo today, but I have no doubt that sweet humping has already sent payment across. 

Kenny Powers GIF

 

office space o face GIF

 

Pay Me GIF

27 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

I said last year in November, in response to someone on a thread somewhere, I don’t remember which board or thread, that no one on the roster currently would be taking the open snap at QB for Texas in game one of 2022. 

@closetohumping decided he’d take the other side of the argument and said he found that hard to believe. I said let’s bet, name any price. He chose $1000 and the stipulation is that injury nullifies the bet, nothing else will. Someone from 2021’s roster had to take the snap. 

Did I know that Casey Thompson was out? No, but I knew that they knew that his dad was pleading his case and whining about the program to several $9.95ers. He handed Chip Brown the bullshit about racist boosters pressuring the staff to play Card. So, seemed like he was going to be gone. Card was so shaken by that point that there were doubts he’d return. 

Did I know that Ewers was coming? No. Knew he was unhappy by November, but who didn’t? It just seemed obvious that they were going hunting for someone that gave them hope at QB in the portal. 

Anyway, I haven’t checked my Venmo today, but I have no doubt that sweet humping has already sent payment across. 

I’m here beyotch.  Bout to board a flight. Like nine month flight. Pm me your Venmo. 

3 minutes ago, futureman said:

I know, right?  this is a forum of learned doctors. 

If I've learned anything from this board it's that succinct posts mean you're a dumb ass.

On 8/18/2022 at 10:50 AM, Gene Parmesan said:

It's quite possible that Ewers sucks too, and if that's the case, Sark's tenure will be short, and we will be handing over another bare cupboard to the next guy.

It's very possible that you are a cunt.   

3 hours ago, Gene Parmesan said:

That's Ian Boyd?  Dear lord he's simultaneously fat and frail.

The Samwell Tarly of Texas Football. 

How have the 995ers not realized they got played… hard. Quinn, the Gamblers, the reports. Man up and admit it. Well played Sark and Co.

3 hours ago, Gene Parmesan said:

That's Ian Boyd?  Dear lord he's simultaneously fat and frail.

Son of Herbert Coward.

52 minutes ago, Had Enough said:

10 win Steve coming up.

 

96917039-EB0D-43F5-9126-DC7FB3A025E0.gif

so fucking hilarious that all the 9.95er's were completely fucking wrong, but even better that we have a head coach that made a decision that was obvious to anyone with a pair of eyes.

1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

Hahahahahaha. What a glorious day it is for all of us who’ve maintained consistently with certainty that the majority of our $9.95ers are useless pieces of shit. And for those of us who have maintained that anyone but Ewers being named the starter would be lunacy and doesn’t make sense. 

I got a call today from a good buddy who told me “dude, you’re not going to fucking believe this. it sounds like sarkisian is really going to name card the starter. *coworker stumblefuck x* is swearing adamantly. i talked to so and so and he didn’t tell me that it was outright incorrect. what the fuck is going on in there?”

Sounds like 30-60 minutes later, he was vindicated and meanwhile the $9.95ers burnt  can go fuck themselves. 

 

I actually had to do quite a bit today so I'm just now getting into this but, yes, anybody who didn't think Ewers was going to take the first snap in the season opener from the moment he announced he was coming to Austin is an idiot. If he's terrible (I don't think he will be), there's a chance Card gets his opportunity but this was decided last Dec short of some kind of unforeseen injury.

Looks like Nahlin is back-tracking quite a bit rather than just admitting he fucking blew it.

50 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

I said last year in November, in response to someone on a thread somewhere, I don’t remember which board or thread, that no one on the roster currently would be taking the open snap at QB for Texas in game one of 2022. 

@closetohumping decided he’d take the other side of the argument and said he found that hard to believe. I said let’s bet, name any price. He chose $1000 and the stipulation is that injury nullifies the bet, nothing else will. Someone from 2021’s roster had to take the snap. 

Did I know that Casey Thompson was out? No, but I knew that they knew that his dad was pleading his case and whining about the program to several $9.95ers. He handed Chip Brown the bullshit about racist boosters pressuring the staff to play Card. So, seemed like he was going to be gone. Card was so shaken by that point that there were doubts he’d return. 

Did I know that Ewers was coming? No. Knew he was unhappy by November, but who didn’t? It just seemed obvious that they were going hunting for someone that gave them hope at QB in the portal. 

Anyway, I haven’t checked my Venmo today, but I have no doubt that sweet humping has already sent payment across. 

I still can't believe i never noticed CTJ and CTH were different dudes.

For like years!

5 hours ago, BurntOrange&White said:

SMD @Hookem2147

 

 

also lol at 247, iT, and OBs they all got played 

I support you brother! Your gif game through all this was sick. 

2147 never really said card would or should start though 

15 minutes ago, Shaggyhorn said:

How have the 995ers not realized they got played… hard. Quinn, the Gamblers, the reports. Man up and admit it. Well played Sark and Co.

They know they have been played. They just can’t admit it to their subscribers. 

I try to keep up, I really do. But y'all are moving way too fast here the last couple days. Can anyone do me a solid and give me the Cliff Notes of what has happened?

 

Two days ago this thread was on like page 80

  • Popular Post
2 minutes ago, ElChupacabra said:

I try to keep up, I really do. But y'all are moving way too fast here the last couple days. Can anyone do me a solid and give me the Cliff Notes of what has happened?

 

Two days ago this thread was on like page 80

lazy GIF

I try to keep up, I really do. But y'all are moving way too fast here the last couple days. Can anyone do me a solid and give me the Cliff Notes of what has happened?
 
Two days ago this thread was on like page 80

Ewers is starting QB. That is all.
48 minutes ago, Codaxx said:

I am going to steal from Babers on this point. Quinn was the one meeting Neyor, Manning, and Addison. Worthy changed his social media page to a picture of Ewers. Babers basically said Ewers won the locker room the moment he got to Texas. I am sure people have other reasons, but I thought that was an interesting data point 

Don’t care.  Just want to win.

22 minutes ago, BigOrange1 said:

so fucking hilarious that all the 9.95er's were completely fucking wrong, but even better that we have a head coach that made a decision that was obvious to anyone with a pair of eyes.

Well, to be fair, the only 9.95er that knows what he's talking about said it was Ewers and it wasn't close.

4 minutes ago, Deej said:

lazy GIF

Very. Very lazy.

4 minutes ago, Shaggyhorn said:


Ewers is starting QB. That is all.

Fucking nice. Thanks 👍

  • Popular Post
1 minute ago, Fire Jack Chevigny said:


Now maybe the vaginal bleeding on this thread can end.

image.gif.a631f1a55dc958353b5ba1d7a7d30b7f.gif

1 minute ago, Fire Jack Chevigny said:


Now maybe the vaginal bleeding on this thread can end.

You can only hope to contain Surly’s vaginal bleed, you can not stop it

1 hour ago, Rickylovesweed said:

The funniest part about all of this is I bet the QB battle wasn't even close contrary to reports. 

This is why I take every report from the 9.95er with a grain of salt. Everyone was melting over "we're screwed because Ewers isn't better than Card" when it was likely just fabricated bullshit because they didn't know who would be the starter. 

The funniest part is that there never was a battle to begin with. Pay sites chumming for money and idiots who can't use their two eyes and brain. Card would have to be Tom Brady on steroids to win whatever fucking battle the pay sites were making up. 

  • Popular Post
3 hours ago, Deej said:

My source close to the program said it was Card's job to lose, until the tight ends group caught wind that Nicole was planning on drowning her anger and sorrows with even more ice cream, and were worried that if she posted more nudes, they'd be unwitting accomplices to even more Longhorn fan disappointment. They voiced their concern to CDC, who then made the call to Sark. 

That’s funny. I’m glad I could do my part to help the team though. I always try to put the Longhorn football team first. 

My raging fat ass is headed out for a nice Friday night dinner. Just waiting on the crane I rented to pick me up. Could take some time. 

005A5CB0-8058-44AD-A519-3620514FDC8E.jpeg

People thought this was ever in doubt from the day Quin announced his transfer?

  • Popular Post
3 minutes ago, Nicole44 said:

That’s funny. I’m glad I could do my part to help the team though. I always try to put the Longhorn football team first. 

My raging fat ass is headed out for a nice Friday night dinner. Just waiting on the crane I rented to pick me up. Could take some time. 

005A5CB0-8058-44AD-A519-3620514FDC8E.jpeg

Season 6 Flirt GIF by Friends

4 minutes ago, Nicole44 said:

That’s funny. I’m glad I could do my part to help the team though. I always try to put the Longhorn football team first. 

My raging fat ass is headed out for a nice Friday night dinner. Just waiting on the crane I rented to pick me up. Could take some time. 

005A5CB0-8058-44AD-A519-3620514FDC8E.jpeg

is it true what they say about green-eyed women?

  • Popular Post

So that's what Nicole looks like fully clothed. 

Is there anyone on the 9.95 boards calling them out for being frauds?

Post those here if so. That shit is hilarious 

1 minute ago, CastHorn said:

I forget how old you people are.

go fuck yourself middle finger GIF by IFC

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