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Featured Replies

Good bottle of their preferred booze.  You shouldn’t buy someone you aren’t related to an animal.

Flowers.  If it's for a female the answer is always flowers.

I mean what would you get her if a human she was close to died?  Death’s don’t usually seem like gift season. 
 

A card or flowers….

2 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Depends on whether or not you want to bang her

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I mean, I don’t personally consider the death of a pet to be on the same level as the death of an human/family member.  Is that wrong?  That’s pretty much why I’m confused as to why people say I should get her something and I’m like “what do you get someone in this case?”

 

 

Note: I don’t own pets, but I play with the pets of my friends.

Donate some dog food and stuff to the local pound in her and pooch's name.

 

10 hours ago, Pancho said:

I’m at a loss, but I know I need to get her something. 

I was told a new puppy was way out of bounds….

A simple card is sufficient to acknowledge their pain and grief.  

Dog lover here and think just verbally acknowledging it is enough, maybe time off if needed to grieve/bury/whatever.  Anything more to me would just be awkward for a work relationship.

Make a donation to The Dog Fund. It's money for dogs.

Flowers is the easy answer.  Bonus points (and easy purchase) if the dogs name was Daisy

If you are trying to bang her, get her something. If you aren't, just offer your condolences and leave them alone. Nobody want to be reminded that their best friend just died every time they see a card or some flowers. 

1 hour ago, UTPhil2006 said:

Flowers is the easy answer.  Bonus points (and easy purchase) if the dogs name was Daisy

What if its name was Shithead?  

4 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

What if its name was Shithead?  

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I'm going to need to see pics of the assistant in order to provide guidance.

How about a boss/employee weekend to Cozumel?

My butler’s goldfish died. Similarly vexed about how to handle this delicate situation…

11 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

The only acceptable gift is three beagle puppies. 

if she has children, also provide them with a drum kit

28 minutes ago, gyroprotagonist said:

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Pancho it depends on your relationship with the coworker and her relationship to the dog. It’s obvious you have little empathy for the loss of a dog and you’re seeking either to be the good boss or bang her.

A puppy? Are you fucking kidding? If she lost a child or sibling would you adopt her a baby? This is a complex part of the process and each dog owner must make their own decisions; not you. She may never want another dog.

Give her a bereavement day and and say you’re sorry for her loss. Not flowers. That’s just weird. A donation is like a gift card. Just give her a day to deal with it.

16 hours ago, Pancho said:

I mean, I don’t personally consider the death of a pet to be on the same level as the death of an human/family member.  Is that wrong?  That’s pretty much why I’m confused as to why people say I should get her something and I’m like “what do you get someone in this case?”

 

 

Note: I don’t own pets, but I play with the pets of my friends.

It varies from person to person. I lost my dad last week and if I’m being honest I was more fucked up when I lost my dog in 2019. My relationship with my dad wasn’t great but it wasn’t bad. 
 

I was appreciative of the cards we received after our dog passed, I took a few days PTO to get away so if you could afford to let her have a bereavement day or two I’m sure that would be appreciated. 

That's just wrong.  We have a big oak tree out behind the house up at the ranch and every dog I've ever had since I was a kid is buried under it.  That's really where I would like to be buried too.  Might have to settle for having my ashes scattered there though.

Bereavement day?  Don't be giving an employee the day off for a dearly departed pet.  They'll be pets dying left and right - mostly on Thursday evenings, but some over the weekend as well.

Flowers, card, hardy handshake - fine.  

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1 hour ago, Texzilla58 said:

Pancho it depends on your relationship with the coworker and her relationship to the dog. It’s obvious you have little empathy for the loss of a dog and you’re seeking either to be the good boss or bang her.

A puppy? Are you fucking kidding? If she lost a child or sibling would you adopt her a baby? This is a complex part of the process and each dog owner must make their own decisions; not you. She may never want another dog.

Give her a bereavement day and and say you’re sorry for her loss. Not flowers. That’s just weird. A donation is like a gift card. Just give her a day to deal with it.

Little empathy yes because I’ve never owned a pet, so that’s why I wanted ideas. I let her go home early last week for a day, and I might do it again this week.

And as I said earlier, I consider the death of a human to he different than the death of an animal.

Thanks tho!

get her pregnant.  Then she'll have a pet for life.

2 hours ago, Pancho said:

And as I said earlier, I consider the death of a human to he different than the death of an animal.

Yeah, it's much more difficult to lose a dog. They actually never really piss you off like people.

Yeah, it's much more difficult to lose a dog. They actually never really piss you off like people.

Plus a dog won’t fuck your wife while your in Denver for business
On 8/14/2022 at 8:02 PM, Pancho said:

I’m at a loss, but I know I need to get her something. 

I was told a new puppy was way out of bounds….

Have you considered dick pics?

Get her one of those posters with a kitten or puppy hanging on a clothesline that says hand in there.

21 hours ago, Archer said:

It varies from person to person. I lost my dad last week and if I’m being honest I was more fucked up when I lost my dog in 2019. My relationship with my dad wasn’t great but it wasn’t bad. 
 

I was appreciative of the cards we received after our dog passed, I took a few days PTO to get away so if you could afford to let her have a bereavement day or two I’m sure that would be appreciated. 

But would you have felt better had your boss bought you a new dad?

6 hours ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

But would you have felt better had your boss bought you a new dad?

Only if it was the Sugar kind and I could quit work. 

Edited by Archer

*you’re and are you sure about that?

Didn’t know proper grammar was a requirement when responding on a phone about a dog fucking your wife

Was thinking about this last night since I lost my dog recently and at least part of this was Pancho looking for a better empathetic understanding.

Kevin was a dog. Obviously, in real... whatever a dogs life is worth less than a human's and it's not the same as a family member dying. But, as an owner of a dog, it rips a massive hole in your life. Different dogs are different and have different relationships with different members of the family - Kevin was my dog for 13 years from when I was 23 until my mid to late thirties. He loved everyone but he was attached to me - I was his guy. He was next to me almost literally any time we were together, which was most of the time. He used to stick his nose in the shower and lick the water off my leg. He was always there. And so, dead dog - I'm sad in the same way that I would be sad about a person I loved passing. But it's also much more like a part of me is missing. It's been a few months and I've normalized a bit but for a long time I kept catching myself doing things that I would only do because Kevin was there. I'm expecting him to be there anticipating my moves. I go on a walk with just the kid at night, Kevin's not there like he has always been for so long. He was like this big dumb furry extension of myself, and he's gone, and that absence is emotionally painful but the reminders are also just constant. I haven't lost a wife or a child thank god but I could see how losing a dog could sometimes be in some ways but not all ways more difficult than losing a parent or a sibling or someone who you care about and is much more important than an old dog. It sucks. Honestly it's fucked up but I have his ashes in a box with his collar and his bandana on my shelf and I kinda need that. I miss him so much, I'm missing him so much.

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1 hour ago, Celery Man said:

Was thinking about this last night since I lost my dog recently and at least part of this was Pancho looking for a better empathetic understanding.

Kevin was a dog. Obviously, in real... whatever a dogs life is worth less than a human's and it's not the same as a family member dying. But, as an owner of a dog, it rips a massive hole in your life. Different dogs are different and have different relationships with different members of the family - Kevin was my dog for 13 years from when I was 23 until my mid to late thirties. He loved everyone but he was attached to me - I was his guy. He was next to me almost literally any time we were together, which was most of the time. He used to stick his nose in the shower and lick the water off my leg. He was always there. And so, dead dog - I'm sad in the same way that I would be sad about a person I loved passing. But it's also much more like a part of me is missing. It's been a few months and I've normalized a bit but for a long time I kept catching myself doing things that I would only do because Kevin was there. I'm expecting him to be there anticipating my moves. I go on a walk with just the kid at night, Kevin's not there like he has always been for so long. He was like this big dumb furry extension of myself, and he's gone, and that absence is emotionally painful but the reminders are also just constant. I haven't lost a wife or a child thank god but I could see how losing a dog could sometimes be in some ways but not all ways more difficult than losing a parent or a sibling or someone who you care about and is much more important than an old dog. It sucks. Honestly it's fucked up but I have his ashes in a box with his collar and his bandana on my shelf and I kinda need that. I miss him so much, I'm missing him so much.

Thanks for this.  I’ve never owned a dog, but I play with dogs when my friends have them.  You’re right that I was looking for a more empathetic response for my assistant as all I could provide was sympathy, which I thought came off/was coming off as insincere. 

I hate to say it but I love my dogs more than my people. I’m not a people person. 
All I can say is treat it just like a close person passed. 

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