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Featured Replies

9 hours ago, Sandman said:

If someone takes my lunch from the fridge, I'm gonna pull your fucking card. You do not mess with a man's meals. 

This. What in the actual fuck Parliament, I hope you're trolling.

 

3 hours ago, BrazilHorn said:

oh and people who read their power point slides verbatim. WTF we can all read. Why are we meeting???

And this. This is my life.

...employees who take longer than five minutes on the shitter due to browsing the fkn internet.  Fk you.  Do that shit on your own time.

On 8/22/2022 at 4:33 PM, morehornsepower said:

Don't "reply all", unless the whole group really needs to see your damn reply.

4 hours ago, BrazilHorn said:

oh and people who read their power point slides verbatim. WTF we can all read. Why are we meeting???

51 minutes ago, RollLeft said:

...employees who take longer than five minutes on the shitter due to browsing the fkn internet.  Fk you.  Do that shit on your own time.

All of the above. I will add:

1) Department or Company-wide emails asking for charitable donations for your marathon.  Sorry you couldn't qualify for Boston, I'm not interested in paying for you to get in through Charitable Exemption.  

2) Grandstanding during meetings.  We get it, you want to make a favorable impression.  Could you at least come up with some information that adds value to conversation first?

3) HR.  Mostly comprised of women that weren't smart enough to be nurses or grade school teachers.

People who, after taking their first site or field visit away from the office, suddenly become experts on how things are done.

Folks that refuse to be on time for meetings.   I’m taking about the serial offender types.  You’ve got a 5 minute window after the agreed to meeting time.  
 

If you didn’t call ahead of time to tell me you’d be late and outside the 5 minute window then I am not waiting on you.  
 

Don’t be an inconsiderate ass.  My time is just important than yours.  

7 hours ago, Bodhi said:

 

3) HR.  Mostly comprised of women that weren't smart enough to be nurses or grade school teachers.

Thank you for making my day.  I've worked with exactly one dude and 2 ladies in HR that i respected in almost 3 decades of work.  The others were laughably inept when it came to actually dealing with 'human capital.'

6 hours ago, mininghorn88 said:

People who, after taking their first site or field visit away from the office, suddenly become experts on how things are done.

Big rocks become small rocks. Small rocks become powder and then gold. How hard could this be? 

38 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Big rocks become small rocks. Small rocks become powder and then gold. How hard could this be? 

Your avatar look is my typical response.

Printer etiquette can set me off.  Two examples--

Sending a print job that requires manually loading letterhead or oversized paper, and then taking your sweet as time while you're on the internet before walking down to feed the paper, causing all of the other print jobs in the queue to be delayed.

We have cover pages on all of our print jobs with employee names as a convenient way to separate multiple jobs that come out in rapid successions.  A few folks leave those cover sheets on a cabinet by the printer, when there's a mother fucking recycling trash can right there on the floor next to the printer. 

  • Author
4 minutes ago, South Austin said:

 

We have cover pages on all of our [b] TPS Reports[/b] with employee names as a convenient way to separate multiple jobs that come out in rapid successions.  A few folks leave those cover sheets on a cabinet by the printer, when there's a mother fucking recycling trash can right there on the floor next to the printer. 

1234

2 hours ago, deadshank said:

Folks that refuse to be on time for meetings.   I’m taking about the serial offender types.  You’ve got a 5 minute window after the agreed to meeting time.  
 

If you didn’t call ahead of time to tell me you’d be late and outside the 5 minute window then I am not waiting on you.  
 

Don’t be an inconsiderate ass.  My time is just important than yours.  

Meetings in general.  Leave me alone.

5 minutes ago, Upgrayedd said:

Meetings in general.  Leave me alone.

You are obviously not interested in a touchpoint ballparking the pinpoint synergy in our group. Let's drill down on this and figure out your core competency and retarget. 

2 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

You are obviously not interested in a touchpoint ballparking the pinpoint synergy in our group. Let's drill down on this and figure out your core competency and retarget. 

Ryan Gosling Trigger GIF by Saturday Night Live

  • Popular Post
10 hours ago, RollLeft said:

...employees who take longer than five minutes on the shitter due to browsing the fkn internet.  Fk you.  Do that shit on your own time.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy now. 

2 hours ago, deadshank said:

Folks that refuse to be on time for meetings.   I’m taking about the serial offender types.  You’ve got a 5 minute window after the agreed to meeting time.  
 

If you didn’t call ahead of time to tell me you’d be late and outside the 5 minute window then I am not waiting on you.  
 

Don’t be an inconsiderate ass.  My time is just important than yours.  

My wife is chronically 5-10 minutes late to everything. I left her once when she wasn’t ready to go. I don’t recommend it, but it fixed things. 
For about a week. 

35 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

You are obviously not interested in a touchpoint ballparking the pinpoint synergy in our group. Let's drill down on this and figure out your core competency and retarget. 

Triggered.  Also: let's "do a quick sync" and  "double-click on that" to make sure our "resources are aligned" and working towards our "organizational objectives".

[edit]: just grow a pair and say you don't agree or understand and you want to discuss it.

Edited by morehornsepower
finish your thoughts, morehornsepower...

People, please mute your fucking mics during the Zoom conference meetings when the higher ups are telling us something important. Ridiculous how many times we've had to remind people of this. 

49 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

You are obviously not interested in a touchpoint ballparking the pinpoint synergy in our group. Let's drill down on this and figure out your core competency and retarget. 

We'll circle back to this 

3 hours ago, deadshank said:

Folks that refuse to be on time for meetings.   I’m taking about the serial offender types.  You’ve got a 5 minute window after the agreed to meeting time.  
 

If you didn’t call ahead of time to tell me you’d be late and outside the 5 minute window then I am not waiting on you.  
 

Don’t be an inconsiderate ass.  My time is just important than yours.  

Agreed and going along with this, if you schedule a weekly meeting for say 8am... start at 8am... don't wait for the serial offenders to show, don't care what their titles are.  If you don't plan to start until 8:15am... don't set the meeting for 8am, set it for 8:15am

10 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

We'll circle back to this 

Let us pivot and put that in the parking lot for now. Besides, it does not affect my PNL.

1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

You are obviously not interested in a touchpoint ballparking the pinpoint synergy in our group. Let's drill down on this and figure out your core competency and retarget. 

10AA74F2-7D8E-4F09-9B09-D63FDFAED442.gif.6c7acf3c83e364bed5fe128bb4befc8f.gif

 

4 hours ago, deadshank said:

Folks that refuse to be on time for meetings.   I’m taking about the serial offender types.  You’ve got a 5 minute window after the agreed to meeting time.  
 

If you didn’t call ahead of time to tell me you’d be late and outside the 5 minute window then I am not waiting on you.  
 

Don’t be an inconsiderate ass.  My time is just important than yours.  

1 hour ago, MonkeyDoughnut said:

Agreed and going along with this, if you schedule a weekly meeting for say 8am... start at 8am... don't wait for the serial offenders to show, don't care what their titles are.  If you don't plan to start until 8:15am... don't set the meeting for 8am, set it for 8:15am

This is my life

Edited by DukDukGru
I'm new to quoting.

1 hour ago, MonkeyDoughnut said:

Agreed and going along with this, if you schedule a weekly meeting for say 8am... start at 8am... don't wait for the serial offenders to show, don't care what their titles are.  If you don't plan to start until 8:15am... don't set the meeting for 8am, set it for 8:15am


Sure, fair point.  But also don’t start meetings at 8:00 am or the start of the day before I’ve had time to come in and check my email and get settled in.

People who ask for read receipts on their emails.  I’m always going to say no.

People who spell others’ names wrong in emails.  It’s lazy.  Everyone’s name is spelled out for you in their email address.  Stop being lazy.

People who plop down in the stall and shit right next to you.  There are four bathrooms accessible to our floor.  Find another one or come back in five.  I’ll be out in a few minutes.  Let me shit in peace.  

4 hours ago, deadshank said:

Folks that refuse to be on time for meetings.   I’m taking about the serial offender types.  You’ve got a 5 minute window after the agreed to meeting time.  
 

If you didn’t call ahead of time to tell me you’d be late and outside the 5 minute window then I am not waiting on you.  
 

Don’t be an inconsiderate ass.  My time is just important than yours.  

Haha.  No fucking way.  We going...

2 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

My wife is chronically 5-10 minutes late to everything. I left her once when she wasn’t ready to go. I don’t recommend it, but it fixed things. 
For about a week. 

shiiiiiit.  Even my kids knew.  Dad will leave your ass.

Be on time.

9 minutes ago, Tom said:


Sure, fair point.  But also don’t start meetings at 8:00 am or the start of the day before I’ve had time to come in and check my email and get settled in.

spacer.png

2 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

My wife is chronically 5-10 minutes late to everything. I left her once when she wasn’t ready to go. I don’t recommend it, but it fixed things. 
For about a week. 

My life would be glorious if my wife were chronically late only 5-10 minutes.  She has what is clinically termed "time blindness."  It's a real thing and it can be so incredibly aggravating.  She has no sense of the amount of time passing, or how long a task will take.  If she needs to be somewhere in 20 minutes, and it is a 10 minute drive away, she MAY leave with 10 minutes to spare, but not take into account any of the other elements of travel: parking, walking, elevators, etc.  Like all of that takes a microsecond.  It is truly bizarre.  My daughter has ADD, and was clinically diagnosed with time blindness.  When we got the diagnosis, I looked straight at her and was like- "well, there it is.  This is you."  

1 hour ago, mininghorn88 said:

Let us pivot and put that in the parking lot for now. Besides, it does not affect my PNL.

P&L*

When people leave 2-3 seconds on the microwave.

24 minutes ago, bolverk said:

When people leave 2-3 seconds on the microwave.

Goddammit this is my wife at home and it’s weirdly irritates the same part of my brain that she hits when I go to check my side mirrors and she is digging around in her purse blocking my line of sight. 

3 hours ago, bolverk said:

When people leave 2-3 seconds on the microwave.

It's worse when someone doesn't bother to enter the required cooking time and just puts it on for 10 mins. Then they stop it at some random time and say "good enough" and leave it paused at 6:32 remaining and walk away. 

Scheduling 8am meetings on a Monday

20 hours ago, BrazilHorn said:

 

oh and people who read their power point slides verbatim. WTF we can all read. Why are we meeting???

Reminds me of a vendor.

This guy used to fly a few times a year from SoCal to Texas for a meeting with about 6 of us, and he would bring a white paper for a new product.  Pass it out, and then say "I will wait for 2 minutes until you read it".  The second time I told him to just go over it with us, but he insisted to do the sit and read.  And no, not because of me, but I am sure many complained about him and he is no longer in the industry. 

On 8/22/2022 at 4:20 PM, tfoolry said:

IMs that start with.  Hi or good morning with no question.  Send a fucking email.  
 

 

On 8/22/2022 at 8:01 PM, nnm said:

Nah. I’m ok with that. Is a common courtesy seeing if I’m actually online and actually can be interrupted with whatever the issue is. Much better than putting a lengthy issue in an IM and assuming I’ll instantly address it. 

http://www.nohello.com

 

 

Also, people who walk around the office barefoot, people who don't wear deodorant, smokers who inhale 4 cigarettes right before a meeting and stink up the entire conference room, people who don't wash their hands after using the restroom, people who talk on the phone in the restroom, people who schedule meetings at times you're already booked and don't ask if you can make it

 

There's more, but just writing this is making me angry

12 minutes ago, Mez2 said:

Scheduling 8am meetings on a Monday

This should be punishable by hanging.  I need Monday am ramp up time.  Even if my weekend was mellow, which it usually is at my age, I need time to get my brain engaged.  It's like an old diesel engine that needs to run for a bit to get to operating temp.

1 minute ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

Also, people who walk around the office barefoot,

spacer.png

 

2 minutes ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

people who don't wash their hands after using the restroom

spacer.png

On 8/22/2022 at 4:59 PM, Parliament said:

 

5) You labeled your lunch, "Mike Smith.  DON'T EAT!"  Lol fuck you. That tuna sandwich is mine.  This isn't a monestary.  

 

Disagree here.  This is why I spit in my food though.  To get people like you.

6 minutes ago, Sbbruin said:

This should be punishable by hanging.  I need Monday am ramp up time.  Even if my weekend was mellow, which it usually is at my age, I need time to get my brain engaged.  It's like an old diesel engine that needs to run for a bit to get to operating temp.

friend GIF

7 hours ago, South Austin said:

Printer etiquette can set me off.  Two examples--

Sending a print job that requires manually loading letterhead or oversized paper, and then taking your sweet as time while you're on the internet before walking down to feed the paper, causing all of the other print jobs in the queue to be delayed.

We have cover pages on all of our print jobs with employee names as a convenient way to separate multiple jobs that come out in rapid successions.  A few folks leave those cover sheets on a cabinet by the printer, when there's a mother fucking recycling trash can right there on the floor next to the printer. 

I have tried to teach my coworkers what "secure print" is and they look at me like I just tried to teach them calculus in Japanese. 

31 minutes ago, markstanco said:

Reminds me of a vendor.

This guy used to fly a few times a year from SoCal to Texas for a meeting with about 6 of us, and he would bring a white paper for a new product.  Pass it out, and then say "I will wait for 2 minutes until you read it".  The second time I told him to just go over it with us, but he insisted to do the sit and read.  And no, not because of me, but I am sure many complained about him and he is no longer in the industry. 

Was the 2 minutes not enough for you?

1 hour ago, Mez2 said:

Scheduling 8am meetings  

FIFM

7 hours ago, Mez2 said:

Scheduling 8am meetings on a Monday

Scheduling a meeting after 11:00 am on Friday.

11 hours ago, Scheiss Meister said:

Scheduling a meeting after 11:00 am on Friday.

Friend is a GM for a local mfg'ing company around here, but the HQ is in California.  Every Friday he has a concall at 5PM Texas time and it goes on for +1 hour.  

2 minutes ago, markstanco said:

Friend is a GM for a local mfg'ing company around here, but the HQ is in California.  Every Friday he has a concall at 5PM Texas time and it goes on for +1 hour.  

Being drunk on a conference call is real.

Scheduling 8am meetings on a Monday

Try 6am. East coast people dgaf about western time zones.
19 minutes ago, markstanco said:

Friend is a GM for a local mfg'ing company around here, but the HQ is in California.  Every Friday he has a concall at 5PM Texas time and it goes on for +1 hour.  

I worked for 12 years for a European company. 4 am calls were regular things. Adapt and advance. 

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