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10 hours ago, AUS-97HORN said:

reminds me of the bullshit stories where parents in 1981-84 needed to check their kids candy to make sure lunatic psychos didnt lace it with poison or some shit.

 

My mother bit that fucking rumor HARD.   despite zero evidence of it ever happening anywhere in the US, the news channels ran stories on how to identify tampered candy.

she confiscated my haul for 48 hours after Halloween to "make sure no one else got sick"

 

we were ON A FUCKING ARMY BASE for fuck sake.....

Late 80s, we lived in the country, as did my cousin’s family. My grandmother lived in town, so her house was our base of operations for Halloween. 
When we were done trick or treating, we’d have to dump our loot on Grandma’s table so my dad could go through it for safety reasons. 
Snickers, Reese’s, M&Ms were always confiscated but somehow Skittles, gummy worms, sweet tarts were always safe to eat. 

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18 minutes ago, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:

I think we here at Surly might be able to help the people of Northern Ireland in their time of need.

 

 

Clowns are fucking scary. Do. Not. Want. 
killer klowns from outer space GIF

Going though old pictures saw this and giggled a bit

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15 hours ago, RPM said:

Red Flag #1

 

Bigger red flag to me is who the hell has life insurance policies on their young children?

1 minute ago, SquishMitten said:

Bigger red flag to me is who the hell has life insurance policies on their young children?

A lot of people actually.  And it's not for nefarious reasons.  

3 minutes ago, SquishMitten said:

Bigger red flag to me is who the hell has life insurance policies on their young children?

Baptist deacons.

28 minutes ago, SquishMitten said:

Bigger red flag to me is who the hell has life insurance policies on their young children?

We do a lot of 20 pay whole life policies on children as gifting mechanisms and such, but also a lot because sometimes the world is just wild.  What happens if your kid wants to join the military and then gets married to a Killeen special?  They can't really buy life insurance other than the government max policy, so if you had insurance on them when they were young it's still intact.  What happens if your kid gets cancer but is fine?  Some companies won't insure them for a long while.  They get married and have kids and are uninsurable, unless you already bought and paid for it.  Use the cash value to buy their first car, as additional college money, etc.   It's a smart way to create some down-generational wealth for cheap when done at a young age.   

41 minutes ago, SquishMitten said:

Bigger red flag to me is who the hell has life insurance policies on their young children?

ZGRB

Cash payout at the end of the term.

On 9/28/2021 at 8:22 AM, MonkeyDoughnut said:

How Monday's feel

How Monday's what feel?

1 hour ago, TrashMaster G said:

How Monday's what feel?

Try to put yourself in OP’s brain. Monday is a person. Monday likes to feel things. Poster is asking the Reddit community if they like the way Monday’s feel felt. 

10 minutes ago, nnm said:

Try to put yourself in OP’s brain. Monday is a person. Monday likes to feel things. Poster is asking the Reddit community if they like the way Monday’s feel felt. 

And, I'm guessing that the OP might have been really tired.

On 9/28/2021 at 9:23 PM, Message Board User said:

 

That settles it.  I'm going trick or treating in Bensalem on Halloween.  

 

That's awesome.

On 9/28/2021 at 8:23 PM, Message Board User said:

 

No they aren't "laced" with THC they clearly state on the package that it's a Marijuana product and to keep out of reach of children. 

And no one is giving your kids expensive thc edibles.

Dumb fucks like this are why pot is still federally illegal. 

1 hour ago, Trey3216 said:

 

Folks THIS is you get drunk.^^ 

it reminds me of a friend I had in Austin, Dave. Legendary drunk. 
 

He came in to work one day and was pissed off because somebody had stolen his bicycle.

four or five days later I went out with him for drinks in his favorite part of town. we are sitting in a bar overlooking the street & after a minute he says wait a minute that’s my bike over there. It was chained up.

so he wanted to sit there and watch for a while, catch the the thief, and we did until it finally dawned on me. You guys already know where this is going.

finally I said Dave go over there and take a closer look at your bike. He did. 
his bike. His lock. 
 

yeah… that’s how you do it  

 

 

 

On 9/24/2021 at 6:15 PM, Hate said:

Send up the Bolverk signal

Speaking of Bolverk, anyone seen him lately?

Did he ever make it out of Louisiana with the crazy ex?

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On 9/28/2021 at 8:23 PM, Message Board User said:

 

Great reply on this tweet:

 

9 hours ago, Bender Bending Rodriguez said:

This is too good 😂 

“I am here.”

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11 hours ago, Marfa Low Crown said:

Dave & the bike

Dave's not here man - Imgflip

4 hours ago, MonkeyDoughnut said:

Great reply on this tweet:

 

image.png.5f8fa5b948a7786e9b492895ce4dcc0a.png

That’s how the Spanish Inquisition stayed so strong. No one check their candy bags

25 minutes ago, Speedtrucker said:

That’s how the Spanish Inquisition stayed so strong. No one check their candy bags

Well, that & it wasn't expected.

I'm on board with "checking candy". My check consists of eating all the shit I like out of their bag. If I don't get sick, dig in.

8 minutes ago, Hmbre97 said:

I'm on board with "checking candy". My check consists of eating all the shit I like out of their bag. If I don't get sick, dig in.

My checking candy involves going to the grocery store at around 11:30am during the week and watching the candy walk around in yoga pants  

40 minutes ago, Trey3216 said:

My checking candy involves going to the grocery store at around 11:30am during the week and watching the candy walk around in yoga pants  

As long as it's the days leading up to Halloween. The days after when the candy goes on sale draw a MUCH different crowd...

53 minutes ago, Trey3216 said:

My checking candy involves going to the grocery store at around 11:30am during the week and watching the candy walk around in yoga pants  

And by supermarket you mean Whole Foods and not Super Walmart, right?

1 minute ago, Superhero said:

And by supermarket you mean Whole Foods and not Super Walmart, right?

I only go to WallyWorld to buy mulch in the spring, and I don't go at 11:30am.    

Mostly just my 'suburban' HEB or a Central Sharkit when I'm around one.  

4 hours ago, Hmbre97 said:

I'm on board with "checking candy". My check consists of eating all the shit I like out of their bag. If I don't get sick, dig in.

Yup. We believe in "tribute" at my house (because the wife still won't let me teach the young'uns about "the vig")

2 hours ago, NWBuck said:

Yup. We believe in "tribute" at my house (because the wife still won't let me teach the young'uns about "the vig")

Parent tax. When you serve a slice of pie/cake, ice cream, etc. to your kid, put it in front of them and then take your fork/spoon and cut off at least a third.  Proceed to eat it in front of them, explaining that it’s the parent tax. Teaches them to have the proper attitude toward taxation. 

Yup, the Dad tax is in full effect around here.

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