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24 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

God: fuck you in particular!

 

 

When I was a senior on the 40 acres, my GF (now wife) lived in a shitty old house that was duplex converted to a 4-bedroom house in West Campus.  The pier and beam house was so out of level that, if you picked up your feet when you were sitting in a rolling chair, you'd start to roll downhill across the room.  I was sitting on the couch one day when her roommate walked through the living room towards the kitchen.  At the perfect moment in time, the globe from the wobbly-ass ceiling fan fell and hit her square in the head.  You could've tried to plan it for a week and never achieved that level of synchrony.  It shattered, and a Dorito-sized shard of glass was sticking out of the crown of her head perfectly vertically.  She wasn't hurt... just shell-shocked and a bit disoriented.  I was laughing so hard that I physically couldn't help her.  I sat there for five minutes laughing my ass off until my sides hurt.  I see her every few years or so, and that story comes up every damn time.  Physics makes for some excellent humor occasionally.  

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10 hours ago, futureman said:

zilker this morning

DAC34466-EF15-4894-8D2D-C1B7E9376BBA.png

was there any police tape?

you saw this and this one photo is all you got?

c'mon man, let's see the rest of the photos. 

it's magnificent.

please, futureman.

 

 

 

14 minutes ago, brakeman said:

was there any police tape?

you saw this and this one photo is all you got?

c'mon man, let's see the rest of the photos. 

it's magnificent.

please, futureman.

you ok, bud?

19 hours ago, Spaulding Smails said:

The pier and beam house was so out of level that, if you picked up your feet when you were sitting in a rolling chair, you'd start to roll downhill across the room... At the perfect moment in time, the globe from the wobbly-ass ceiling fan fell and hit her square in the head....

the way you set that up, i expected her to fall back into a wheeled chair, roll across the room, hit the window ledge, and fall backwards right out of the house

 

2 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

the way you set that up, i expected her to fall back into a wheeled chair, roll across the room, hit the window ledge, and fall backwards right out of the house

 

It wouldn't have been out of the realm of possibilities.  And, I left out the part where they were broken into twice at the end of the lease by a thief who only stole the panties of all four roommates.  And the raccoon that ended up in the kitchen via a hole in the floor behind the cabinets.  

13 hours ago, brakeman said:

image.png.07381f85f5220b656198b9b2e74c74fb.png

One of my few talents is that I can take a nap right after drinking half a pot of coffee. 

4 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

One of my few talents is that I can take a nap right after drinking half a pot of coffee. 

I used to drink a 10-shot latte and crash. 
 

Then some kind of bullshit button got pushed a year or so ago and poof. Caffeine after about 2 and I’m not passing out on my own until midnight or better. 🤬 

On 6/24/2022 at 7:03 PM, elfenix said:

signal-2022-06-24-184610_001.jpeg.495e5574f9e807868e0e3cfa3835cf88.jpeg

 

1 hour ago, davidg said:

 

Like I can even count to potato.

6 hours ago, Armybrat said:

32456E20-D018-431C-ADC7-56B532C975F5.jpeg

Now that’s funny right there.  
 

I once told a guy that I have owed him a whooping for a while.(early 20s insults that had not been responded to).
 

 He said “any time buddy”.
 

I calmly set my drink down and punched him in the face.  

1 minute ago, Marfa Low Crown said:

 

Didn't wanna laugh at first but ... got dammit ... those exhaust notes! LoL

Looks like she was having fun with it, too.

That is some funny shit.

I would probably murder my kid in that situation though.

10 minutes ago, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

 

It’s a perfectly cromulent name. 

 

That sound is awesome.
51 minutes ago, Hate said:


That sound is awesome.

Sounded like one of these:

s-l1600.jpg

that’s awesome.

the cat video 

Edited by futureman

 

My grandmother’s dachshunds were both bilingual. Could act upon commands given in Spanish and English…

To which my pops made sure to rub that fact in while I would struggle to communicate in horrible Spanglish to my grandparents.

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