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#42008
13 hours ago, SquishMitten said:

Needed to help with a deceased family member that passed away and wasn’t discovered for a little over a week. Came across this, and I couldn’t stop laughing. The fucking picture on the landing page killed me, but…call the phone number

http://newmanclean.com/cleaning/biohazard-crime-scene-cleanup/

 

That really is an incredible service. Human remains are a fucking mess. Starts bad then just gets worse and worse. At the least the body evacuates all waste, then bacteria goes wild.

 

Edited by MissingInAction

#42010

I don’t really want to be cremated (what if I’m not dead yet?) and I don’t really want to be thrown in a hole for eternity either. I wish I could just be left in my pasture for the coyotes and vultures to eat. 

#42012
46 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

I don’t really want to be cremated (what if I’m not dead yet?) and I don’t really want to be thrown in a hole for eternity either. I wish I could just be left in my pasture for the coyotes and vultures to eat. 

Ask to be buried at sea. Maybe get turned into chum for sharks.

#42013
1 hour ago, Kennythetiger said:

I don’t really want to be cremated (what if I’m not dead yet?) and I don’t really want to be thrown in a hole for eternity either. I wish I could just be left in my pasture for the coyotes and vultures to eat. 

There’s a company that preps your remains for decomposition and plants a tree over them. Ask for a pecan tree so everyone can enjoy deez nuts.
 

Not my joke, cribbed from somewhere, but the company really is out there. 

#42016
1 hour ago, crash_davis said:

 

I can't stop watching this.  I don't see even a small attempt at slowing down before they go off the road.

#42017
3 minutes ago, Wiler77 said:

I can't stop watching this.  I don't see even a small attempt at slowing down before they go off the road.

Crazy thing is that I have no idea who's at fault. Is it the van or the moped?

Lesson learned is don't be the middle of the 3 some.

#42018
3 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

Lesson learned is don't be the middle of the 3 some.

Sound advice with multiple applications. 

#42019
15 hours ago, SquishMitten said:

Needed to help with a deceased family member that passed away and wasn’t discovered for a little over a week. Came across this, and I couldn’t stop laughing. The fucking picture on the landing page killed me, but…call the phone number

http://newmanclean.com/cleaning/biohazard-crime-scene-cleanup/

 

45 years ago Mrs. Brat’s father died at home alone in his bed in Dallas, and his body wasn’t discovered for a week.
By the time we arrived on the scene the next day, some relatives had cleaned up most of the bloody mess after his body had been removed. However, I and my son carried the fouled mattress to the back yard. I’ll never forget that awful smell.

#42020
39 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

Crazy thing is that I have no idea who's at fault. Is it the van or the moped?

Lesson learned is don't be the middle of the 3 some.

don't kink shame me

#42021
3 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

I don’t really want to be cremated (what if I’m not dead yet?) and I don’t really want to be thrown in a hole for eternity either. I wish I could just be left in my pasture for the coyotes and vultures to eat. 

If you're not dead yet I'd rather be roasted to get the job done quickly than be buried alive and left to suffer for an extended period before the job is done. I also just do not understand the desire to take up real estate once your dead. Creamation is my preferred way to go with my ashes spread somewhere. I'd also be fine with letting myself be eaten so I can at least nourish something. Let the worms have me for all I care. 

#42022
16 hours ago, SquishMitten said:

Needed to help with a deceased family member that passed away and wasn’t discovered for a little over a week. Came across this, and I couldn’t stop laughing. The fucking picture on the landing page killed me, but…call the phone number

http://newmanclean.com/cleaning/biohazard-crime-scene-cleanup/

 

The pic is not the best part of that.  It's the hashtag.

image.png.dab45becd642af08aee92e6a31746c3e.png

#42023
2 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

You can also donate your carcass to the LSU body farm where it will be used in forensic research. 

https://www.lsu.edu/faces/fterf/donation.php

No need to go all that way.  We got a dead body farm right here at home.  https://www.txst.edu/anthropology/facts/labs/farf.html

https://www.texastribune.org/2015/07/25/slideshow-body-farm/

image.png.86cdbdd4d790541be8e6f216be6084f6.png

Researchers study the decay of human corpses  at the 26-acre outdoor human decomposition laboratory run by the Forensic Anthropology Center at Texas State University.

#42024
2 hours ago, crash_davis said:

Crazy thing is that I have no idea who's at fault. Is it the van or the moped?

I think it’s pretty clear to anyone with even a modicum of common sense that the van has the right of way.  do you drive?

#42026
3 hours ago, Wiler77 said:

I can't stop watching this.  I don't see even a small attempt at slowing down before they go off the road.

Not sure you can assume the moped has brakes. 

#42033
On 5/30/2025 at 10:39 AM, MissingInAction said:

That really is an incredible service. Human remains are a fucking mess. Starts bad then just gets worse and worse. At the least the body evacuates all waste, then bacteria goes wild.

 

Oh, no doubt. I just thought the picture of the chalk outline in a living room, the Seinfeld theme song, the Newman references, etc was hilariously cringeworthy. 

#42035
1 hour ago, futureman said:

 

Got a pretty good laugh as they were scrolling down the list. Think I only counted 3 players that are transferring from a decent program

#42036
On 5/30/2025 at 1:19 PM, Armybrat said:

45 years ago Mrs. Brat’s father died at home alone in his bed in Dallas, and his body wasn’t discovered for a week.
By the time we arrived on the scene the next day, some relatives had cleaned up most of the bloody mess after his body had been removed. However, I and my son carried the fouled mattress to the back yard. I’ll never forget that awful smell.

Nothing smells worse than a decomposing human (25 years field Paramedic)

It's our diet

#42037

Well… this thread turned dark. Haha?


 

And agree with the smell of decomposing humans. In Taiwan, the funeral homes have “stalls” (think storage units but without doors) for the coffins so family can visit and have vigils.

I was there for my grandmother, and could smell decomposing flesh coming from one a few stalls down. It was awful.

#42050
7 minutes ago, Steamboat1874 said:

Northwest Airlines ?

Clearly means National Weather Service. 

Fuck the police comin' straight from the underground.

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