June 10, 20187 yr On 6/8/2018 at 2:19 PM, Buck Strickland said: They are fucked up like a soup sandwich. We had a drunken Sunday afternoon one day and came up with some similar ones to the ol’ soup sandwich and football bat: fucked up like a surf sword, like chips & chocolate, like orange juice and cookies, and on and on. Can’t remember some of them for obvious reasons.
June 11, 20187 yr suffering succotash bitching Camaros Edited June 11, 20187 yr by LongestHorn anthropomorphisms
June 11, 20187 yr Everytime I see a Camaro, I call it bitchin’ and wonder if they are driving to the shore. After the drive from the Bahamas, of course.
June 11, 20187 yr On 6/8/2018 at 9:57 PM, ernest_t_bass said: Not sure if he's still here, but on shaggy bevo/texas, the poster referred to as "Numbers" who had some random numbers as his user name. Every time he was called "numbers" I laughed my ass off. The numbers weren't random. They were the telephone dial equivalent of his previous username. But, yeah, it was funny when folks referred to him as numbers - like some old Dick Tracy villain.
June 11, 20187 yr Knife is so dull you could ride it to town. As poor as depression soup. He looks like he was in the outhouse when the lightning struck. So skinny his pajamas only have one stripe.
June 11, 20187 yr Everytime I see a Camaro, I call it bitchin’ and wonder if they are driving to the shore. After the drive from the Bahamas, of course.Is the trip to the Bahamas before or after they take the retards to the zoo?
June 12, 20187 yr [Insert some sort of awful-sounding activity, perhaps suggested by your wife.] I’d rather put my nuts on an anvil and smash them with a sledgehammer.
June 12, 20187 yr "Butt Doctor" My wife and I were talking about the father of one of our daughter's classmates. Dude's an oddball. I asked if he was a doctor and she said, "Yeah, he's either a foot doctor or a butt doctor - I'm not sure which."
June 12, 20187 yr Author 19 minutes ago, Thujone said: Guy I go mountain biking with likes to claim he's not cheap by saying "Hell, I'd pay $30 to watch bugs fuck." He says it at least once a day. Avatar seems appropriate.
June 13, 20187 yr 12 minutes ago, SquishMitten said: I’m cheap, but I’d pay $30 to watch two girl bugs fuck I accept PayPal.
June 13, 20187 yr It will depend on the context. Sheeple isn’t really funny most places. Particularly when you are talking about people being like a herd of sheep in their thinking. However, at work, sheeple is pretty damn funny. An ex coworker swore up and down you could get sheep knocked up and make them.
June 13, 20187 yr It’s so hot I saw a fire hydrant chasing a dog down the street... It’s so hot I saw a chicken pulling a worm out of the ground and it was using potholders...
June 13, 20187 yr Wilder than a two peckered billy goat colder than a witches tit in brass bra like two rats screwin' in wool sock tryin' to squeeze 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound sack like a cow pissin' on a flat rock you could screw up a one man rock fight you could screw up a wetdream busier than a 1-legged man in a buttkickin' contest lookin' like they farted in church 76-37-5
June 17, 20187 yr On 6/13/2018 at 4:03 PM, orange dream said: like a cow pissin' on a flat rock I'd always heard it as "raining harder than a two cunt calf pissin' on a flat rock"
June 18, 20187 yr 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound sackI used the phrase last week to describe a large woman in yoga pants.
June 18, 20187 yr Any time someone someone says "do do" in a sentence (ie -- "We don't do that per the policy, but we do do our best to consider exceptions.").
June 18, 20187 yr We were driving from Waynesville, MO toward St Louis a few weeks ago and decided to stop at the Uranus Fudge Factory. We've seen the signs hundreds of times but never stopped. When you first walk in all of the employees yell "Welcome to Uranus!". When we checked out, the cashier yells out "Thank you for picking Uranus!". I giggled.
June 18, 20187 yr On 6/16/2018 at 9:34 PM, Lone Star Horn said: I'd always heard it as "raining harder than a two cunt calf pissin' on a flat rock" Raining like pouring piss out of a boot. You could fuck up a steely ball with a rubber hammer.
June 19, 20187 yr Steely eyed missile man. What is your major malfunction, numbnuts Then it got weird. We can do that. we dont even have to have a reason. Poop
June 19, 20187 yr Struggling; like a possom trying to pass a peach pit Golf; pasture pool When I finish with her it'll look like a cow stepped in a mudhole Edited June 19, 20187 yr by NastyDreams
June 19, 20187 yr Closing in on three pages and no one has offered up... Poontang? If I'm I'm gonna get my balls blown off half way around the world for a word, my word is Poontang. I use poontang the following way: I will ask someone if poontang is one word or two, I tell them I’m asking because trying I’m trying to finish my ChristianMingle dating profile...
June 19, 20187 yr ____________________________ (minority or other group/individual) would steal the horns off a billy goat.
June 19, 20187 yr "Famous last words"...usually following something along the lines of "yeah, that's prolly good enough"
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