Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Featured Replies

Sorry, folks.  Park's closed.  The moose out front should've told you.

Oh God, ease our suffering in this, our moment of great dispair. Yea, admit this good and decent woman into thine arms in the flock in thine heavenly area, up there. And Moab, he laid its down by the band of the Canaanites, and yea, though the Hindus speak of karma, I implore you: give her... give her a break.

That’s nothing to be proud of Russ.


50 yards!

“Rusty! Listen to your mother. I was speeding. I was driving like a maniac. We can all be grateful for this man for stopping us. You see kids... “

“Here's the leash, sir. I'm going back to get the rest of the carcass off the road.”

Or perhaps you don't want to see the second largest ball of twine on earth which is only 4 short hours away...

You think you hate it now, wait til you drive it

Y'know what I think??? I think you're all fucked in the head! We're ten hours from the fuckin' fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation...it's a quest. It's a quest for fun! I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun! We're all gonna have so much fuckin' fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah out of your assholes!!! HAHAHA!!! I gotta be crazy; I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose! Praise Marty Moose! Holy shit!!!

Rusty: Is that a real gun, Mom?

Ellen: I don't know, Rusty, but when this is all over, your father... may be going away for a little while.

Okay, now, uh, you see -- you see which way you're pointing, right?  Yeah, okay, that's good 'cause you see that place? You see where it say "rib tips"?

Rib tips. yeah. mm-hmm.

Yeah, well, fuck that. don't go that way. Now you're gonna go all the way down about half a block and you'll see a Torino with no wheels on it. Now, inside that Torino is my cousin Jackie. Now, you tell him you my boy and that you lost, and he'll make sure you get to where you going 'cause you don't want to know from me, man. This ain't even my neighborhood. I'm from the west side of Chicago, here on vacation.

Edited by PencilPusher
fixed format

  • Author
On 6/9/2018 at 1:50 PM, Liquor and Poker said:

I'm going steady, and I French kiss.
So, everybody does that.
Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it.

016_KRAKOWSKI_THEN.jpg

  • Author
On 6/10/2018 at 10:52 AM, RamjetFDO said:

Reeeeeeal tomato ketchup Eddie?

Nothing but the best!

Audrey, you remember what you said when I asked you where you wanted to go for vacation?  

Shit, I screwed that up.  One of 'em said "Hawaii, Dad?" and Clark said, "Shut up, (name)!" and then asked the other kid and they said "Wally World, Dad?"  

Been awhile since I've seen that movie actually.  

They had to replace my metal plate with a plastic one. Every time Catherine would rev up the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour.

You see that sign that says rib tips? nah fuck that you don't want to go that way

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.