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1 hour ago, Tired Horn said:

They sell their organs.

 

That's silly. That's only so much organs to go around. 

No. They sell your organs. 

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  • Teryor
    Teryor

    k Excited for more tears

  • Getafix
    Getafix

    FYI - just cross-posting a really nice story.     Embedded tweet w/ anecdote.      

  • Jimmy Two Times
    Jimmy Two Times

    13,000 posts on surlyhorns.com is the hallmark of a guy who's just too busy to tune into commitment ceremonies. 

Posted Images

5 hours ago, Dbeasy said:

image.jpeg.cc81ea2e94fb7a609bb167be824abd30.jpeg

Hey, those are Mack’s specialty!

Also appears to be a good kid from a good family…

Edited by MuellerHorn

6 hours ago, Hank_Hill said:

I wish. Got sucker punched by a local with 10 warrants outside a bar I shouldn’t have been at mostly unprovoked. My wife wasn’t there and doesn’t believe my innocence (doesn’t help that I don’t remember much, but by witness accounts) so I won’t be giving or receiving bedpost concussions for a few nights. 

You got punched by B.J Penn?

4 hours ago, cafe society said:

Or else what?

No south beach thots.

On 7/9/2025 at 6:24 PM, RGBIII said:

Normally I agree with you but when it’s an extreme legal matter like an assault, or cough cough…shooting or something of that nature. It’s better to not state anything definitive until it plays out

 

On 7/9/2025 at 6:34 PM, Vito Andolini said:

“The best in Texas leave Texas… in 8 to 10 years, depending on good behavior.”

That’s gonna be 2-20. Enjoy da bag… of dicks, Mr. Calicut. 

I have a couple of theories/suppositions…

1. Last year, NIL was all booster-funded. We focus on Texas, Buckeyes, etc., but those well funded schools are the exception. There were several dozen programs that probably barely scraped $10M, if that, for NIL. Now, with the House settlement, they are required to pay $20M from their AD. They have to spend that. That doubles the player pay for programs like Baylor (and the rest of the B12 and ACC). Frankly, I’m surprised we don’t see more pissant programs win a recruitment like this. 
2. just because the pissant programs have to spend $20M, they don’t necessarily have an extra $20M to spend. They have to get it from somewhere- booster donations, budget cuts, university payments. We will see the B12 and ACC schools seek new ways to whore out for media payments. 

Samari Matthews (non) update from the South Carolina 247 board

Cornelius (N.C.) Hough four-star cornerback Samari Matthews is set to announce his college decision later today. While the recruitment has long been seen as a South Carolina vs. Texas battle, sources indicated late this week that Miami has re-entered the mix with a late NIL offer that exceeded what Texas had previously put on the table, prompting the Longhorns to respond.

Despite this late twist, it remains unclear how lucrative NIL packages, particularly those offered in place of formal revenue-sharing models, will be received by the NCAA's Clearinghouse, which must approve such deals. All NIL packages must be submitted by August 1, and if these arrangements fail to gain approval, it could spell complications for schools banking on them to land top-tier prospects like Matthews.

While a commitment to Miami would come as a surprise, a decision for either South Carolina or Texas would not. Regardless of the outcome today, sources indicate the Gamecocks will continue to recruit Matthews aggressively if he does not choose them. His recruitment may not be finalized until December, when he is expected to sign.

According to the 247Sports Composite Rankings, Matthews is rated as the No. 6 cornerback in the country and the No. 5 overall prospect in North Carolina's 2026 class.

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9 hours ago, Ghost of Shag said:

Can someone explain how LSU continues to find this money when we have heard for years that they’re broke?

Hear me out here: They might be promising money they don't actually have yet. 

Edited by SydneyCarton

Just now, texifornia said:

 

I'm sure Houston will spin this as a head to head win against Texas. Somehow. 

31 minutes ago, Hookem2147 said:

sources indicated late this week that Miami has re-entered the mix with a late NIL offer that exceeded what Texas had previously put on the table

Mrw GIF

9 hours ago, Ghost of Shag said:

Can someone explain how LSU continues to find this money when we have heard for years that they’re broke?

There's always money in the banana stand and, in this case, the banana stand is the entire budget for the state of Louisiana. 

The sociopathic sadistic side of me, which is admittedly substantial, is rooting for Matthews to surprise everyone and pick SCar or Miami. 

The self-preserving side of me that really wants to fucking win at things needs Matthews to Texas. 

I am not sure how I lose today. 

  • Author
15 minutes ago, RockyMountainHighHorn said:

If today we aren’t “smoking”….sweet mother of mercy, full satya mode 

 

7 minutes ago, Radical Larry said:

You were going to do that regardless of what happens. 

I was about to say...

54 minutes ago, texifornia said:

 

I liked this dude's tape. Hope we keep him warm.

41 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

The sociopathic sadistic side of me, which is admittedly substantial, is rooting for Matthews to surprise everyone and pick SCar or Miami. 

The self-preserving side of me that really wants to fucking win at things needs Matthews to Texas. 

I am not sure how I lose today. 

Harvey Dent Two Face GIF

58 minutes ago, RockyMountainHighHorn said:

If today we aren’t “smoking”….sweet mother of mercy, full satya mode 

It seems like you live your entire posting life in full Satya mode regardless the day. 

  • Popular Post
26 minutes ago, tokamak said:

I liked this dude's tape. Hope we keep him warm.

Texas basically handed him to UH. They shit all over ATM to him and his camp, then soft-pedaled being able to bring him in for a visit. I assume they’re looking at UH as one of several quality development programs that they can prey upon when they feel like it in the future.

Fritz is an excellent coach and it looks like he and his staff can develop guys. I’m all for it. UH has been a shitheel school to Texas for the past 60+ years, including recently fucking with the plans to add a UT campus to Houston. Never mind bleachergate and all of the dirty shit they’ve always done.  I’ll find it very fulfilling if Texas feeds off of their success with regularity. 

17 hours ago, Ghost of Shag said:

Spiegelman can go fuck himself.

You know what the Applebaum’s say, never trust a Spiegelman.

15 hours ago, Josef Pwag said:

Word on the street is that if you combine the money given to Carlton and Ojo, it still wouldn't pay Ketch's tab at Golden Corral.

This implies that he leaves and comes back, pretty sure his ass is merged into the fibers of the booth at this point

48 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

assume they’re looking at UH as one of several quality development programs that they can prey upon when they feel like it in the future

f67a55bf-d800-47bb-8941-04f23f81b514_tex

19 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

This implies that he leaves and comes back, pretty sure his ass is merged into the fibers of the booth at this point

You're missing a fundamental understanding of The Ketchosaurus. Are there ass fibers merged with his skin? Absolutely, probably. But implying that he can't leave his seat is implying that he also can't get up for another round of raw oysters at an all you can eat buffet. And do you think that's true? Fuck no. That man would rip skin and meat from bone to heave his way to the front of a sushi bar at a buffet with a busted AC and internal temperature of 82 degrees.

Never underestimate the pain threshold of a morbid glutton on a fuck to of pain pills. 

Fun Fact: the constipation that comes from painkiller addiction just means more trips to the buffet before ole Ketchum has to take a pit stop. I'll leave you with that tidbit of nightmare fuel, Happy Smoke Matthews Day motherfuckers. 

Edited by SydneyCarton

19 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

This implies that he leaves and comes back, pretty sure his ass is merged into the fibers of the booth at this point

All You Can Eat Chinese Buffet | John Pinette Comedy on Make a GIF

5 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

You're missing a fundamental understanding of The Ketchosaurus. Are there ass fibers merged with his skin? Absolutely, probably. But implying that he can't leave his seat is implying that he also can't get up for another round of raw oysters at an all you can eat buffet. And do you think that's true? Fuck no. That man would rip skin and meat from bone to heave his way to the front of a sushi bar at a buffet with a busted AC and internal temperature of 82 degrees.

Never underestimate the pain threshold of a morbid glutton on a fuck to of pain pills. 

Fun Fact: the constipation that comes from painkiller addiction just means more trips to the buffet before ole Ketchum has to take a pit stop. I'll leave you with that tidbit of nightmare fuel, you're all welcome. 

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8 minutes ago, UDontKnow said:

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In the words of Doechi, I'm not an addict. Much to my wife's chagrin, constipation and a scarcity of trips to the toilet are not an issue over here. 

1 hour ago, SydneyCarton said:

That man would rip skin and meat from bone to heave his way to the front of a sushi bar at a buffet with a busted AC and internal temperature of 82 degrees.

dont-like-that.gif

19 hours ago, Sgt Hulk said:

Atkinson is getting 3 years 75 million 

and 3% of the university. 

17 hours ago, Dbeasy said:

image.jpeg.cc81ea2e94fb7a609bb167be824abd30.jpeg

This kid is going places

Edited by TotallyLegit
As long as those places meet ADA regulations

4 hours ago, texifornia said:

 

Those are way better than goats. 

5 minutes ago, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:


I think that Orangebloods is right about this. 

Yes, but most of us knew that. The inflated market prices would also cause locker room issues. Sark's worked hard to get our team to be a team.  Imagine an Ojo coming in to sit the bench with his fool agent spouting a guaranteed $5.1M deal? It doesn't matter the real numbers, that shit may work at TT, not here. 

The other is that our AD will not make promises they 100% can't back up.  The evolving - who knows, legal guardrails for revenue, NIL, etc. We refuse to play in the grey. 

So far we've taken care most positions we need for developing depth. Would still like a top OL, LB as priorities.  A top RB, CB next.  Other than that, opinions on what else we need?

You’d think most of us know this, but I see pearl clutchers on this very site wail daily about how we are getting our asses handed to us in recruiting, when 1) it’s July and 2) they don’t know how Sarkisian and Co. is prioritizing everything. I haven’t read Richardson’s article (frankly, I haven’t read many from him over the years) but I have no problem with the dude writing an article on the subject, it would seem to be his job.

13 minutes ago, hornlife said:

Yes, but most of us knew that. The inflated market prices would also cause locker room issues. Sark's worked hard to get our team to be a team.  Imagine an Ojo coming in to sit the bench with his fool agent spouting a guaranteed $5.1M deal? It doesn't matter the real numbers, that shit may work at TT, not here. 

The other is that our AD will not make promises they 100% can't back up.  The evolving - who knows, legal guardrails for revenue, NIL, etc. We refuse to play in the grey. 

So far we've taken care most positions we need for developing depth. Would still like a top OL, LB as priorities.  A top RB, CB next.  Other than that, opinions on what else we need?

We'll get our guys. It may not be top 5 but close. There's no reason to make big promises to high school players right now when we don't know who will (or won't) need a pay bump on the roster this season, or what holes might emerge in the lineup. As the season plays out we'll get a grip on the payroll and start making offers that agents/recruits know are real. 

2 minutes ago, Vito Andolini said:

You’d think most of us know this, but I see pearl clutchers on this very site wail daily about how we are getting our asses handed to us in recruiting, when 1) it’s July and 2) they don’t know how Sarkisian and Co. is prioritizing everything. I haven’t read Richardson’s article (frankly, I haven’t read many from him over the years) but I have no problem with the dude writing an article on the subject, it would seem to be his job.

It's because of our sense of justice.  We want to crush all these assholes and mete out reciprocal punishment for the past 15 years of embarrassing football.  The fact is that our roster has never been stacked with more talent than it is currently.  Year over year it has gotten more difficult for Sark to trim the fat because he has so much talented depth.  We will keep the players we want to keep.  That much is certain.  That fat fuck DT we lost to LSU still can't lockdown at starting role and their defense was atrocious last year.  I am also certain that we will continue to use the transfer portal to add key pieces and address any roster holes.  The situation at DT should have been dire this year, but it looks like it will move forward with little to no drop-off.  Thirteen Win Steven is causing our enemies to clutch their pearls.  All you have to do is listen to the mouth breathers that call into the Finebaum show.

Would you rather pay $500K for some 50-50% high school guy that might contribute in 2 years or a known commodity like a Trey Moore with proven production? 

4 minutes ago, 6th Street said:

Would you rather pay $500K for some 50-50% high school guy that might contribute in 2 years or a known commodity like a Trey Moore with proven production? 

I know how I’d answer this, but I’m not sure how you would… aren’t you one of the posters fretting about current misses? 🤣 But a good post, just screwing with you.

1 hour ago, texifornia said:

Orangebloods with their finger on the pulse as ever

 

a00n59.jpg

5 hours ago, Hookem2147 said:

ources indicated late this week that Miami has re-entered the mix with a late NIL offer that exceeded what Texas had previously put on the table

If we can't overcome Waco and Lubbock money, how can we possibly compete with Miami money?!?

5ae878307708e973642dfa8b?width=800&forma

 

42 minutes ago, 6th Street said:

Would you rather pay $500K for some 50-50% high school guy that might contribute in 2 years or a known commodity like a Trey Moore with proven production? 

You still have the possibility that the "known commodity" is Amari Niblack.

9 minutes ago, tokamak said:

You still have the possibility that the "known commodity" is Amari Niblack.


I don't get that. Niblack played one year for Texas, Sark found out he's not as good as other options, and was allowed/encouraged to leave.  That's exactly what you want. Whereas Trey Moore, after close inspection, turned out to be a player and was incented to stay. 

If schools are held to the rules, there is absolutely going to be fallout from the overspending. You see it in every professional sport. Right now, we're in summer free agency before you realize the expensive new toy isn't an all-star and has interesting off the court hobbies.

The good news is that if there's no accountability going forward, Texas can just be fast followers and join in the fun.

 

Miami has been assumed to be the leader.

 

image.thumb.png.57a5bc35ce56d96455dcaf92c43bd006.png

 

 

And this was from the Ohio State board (think someone posted this upthread ... )

image.thumb.png.63050d9b577e61c6d34fde3e0bc14941.png

 

 

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