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  • Teryor
    Teryor

    k Excited for more tears

  • Getafix
    Getafix

    FYI - just cross-posting a really nice story.     Embedded tweet w/ anecdote.      

  • Jimmy Two Times
    Jimmy Two Times

    13,000 posts on surlyhorns.com is the hallmark of a guy who's just too busy to tune into commitment ceremonies. 

Posted Images

1 hour ago, Dbeasy said:

Multiple people in Austin have encouraged us to go to various pizza places, like Bufalina, to have what they describe as incredible Neapolitan pizza. We’ve been constantly disappointed by the limp, doughy crust on the bottom  that tastes like someone slapped Pillsbury Doughboy into a brick oven. I traveled to Italy all the time for business for years, and Neapolitan pizza doesn’t taste like that crap. Annoying. 

it has fabulous reviews on google.  maybe you just don’t know pizza. 

  • Popular Post

Bobby: "Thursday"

Overview:

  • Texas still leads for Cooper going heading into his decision this Sunday
  • Texas still fucks in recruiting, even in the "rev share" era. So, stop going full Satya.
  • 'Member when we didn't land a five-star over multiple years during the desert wandering era? I 'member... Well, we're about to land three in one week! #enchubbened
  • Mosley and Endries are "even better than expected." Arch about to win the Heisman? 

Espn Texas GIF by College GameDay

Spoiler
 

As of late last night, I am told that Texas still holds the pole position for Hollywood, Fla., five-star running back Derrek Cooper over the likes of Miami, Florida State, Georgia and Ohio State.

He is planning to announce his decision Sunday evening. Again, fingers crossed.

**

A lot of Texas fans are understandably giddy about what transpired on Tuesday.

The pledges of Tyler Atkinson and James Johnson are massive.

But perhaps even more, it showcased that the new “rev share” era of recruiting would not - rather, could not - stop the momentum the Longhorns have arduously built over the past couple of seasons.

In other words, Texas, even in the rev share era, can and will capitalize on the momentum the Horns rightfully earned the last couple of years.

There were some who doubted that, and perhaps justifiably so.

But the commitments of Atkinson and Johnson blow the doors off of that misconception.

**

Three five stars in one week would be exceeding expectations.

Yet that’s exactly what we’re looking at here if Cooper picks the Horns on Sunday.

As a reminder, Texas has gone multiple years in the past 15 without adding a single five star in its class.

Three in one week is as clear of a picture as we’re going to get about what’s going on in Austin, of the juggernaut Sark, GM Brandon Harris and the entire staff are potentially building.

**

One quick team note:

The early returns on wide receiver Emmett Mosley V and tight end Jack Endries are “even better than expected”.

To those behind the scenes, it’s becoming clear that in Endries, Texas truly has a very capable replacement for Gunnar Helm.

Mosley fits right in with Ryan Wingo and DeAndre Moore. Mosley is surprisingly athletic, an exacting route runner, and may be the team’s best 50-50 ball winner this season.

 

Edited by MuellerHorn

4 minutes ago, MuellerHorn said:

As a reminder, Texas has gone multiple years in the past 15 without adding a single five star in its class.

Why Would You Say That New Girl GIF by hero0fwar

No one needed that reminder.  We lived it. 

4 minutes ago, MuellerHorn said:

may be the team’s best 50-50 ball winner this season.

Hm.  Dude is 6'2".  I thought he was a little slot guy.  Nice.

2 minutes ago, jeevsie said:

Hm.  Dude is 6'2".  I thought he was a little slot guy.  Nice.

Nothing wrong with being a "little slot guy." Greater sensation, you know?

5 minutes ago, TexasGolf said:

Pizza talk not going away 

And it never should

Food Porn GIF by Model Plate

tv-funny.gif

Pizza is the KJ Edwards to Derrek Cooper's calzone.

Let's get this a little more on track, fellas

Edited by TommyGufano

34 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Why Would You Say That New Girl GIF by hero0fwar

No one needed that reminder.  We lived it. 

Why even say this? You're not new here, you fully well know that there's about 15-20 motherfuckers on this website that need those reminders and to live in that miserable era just to get an erection. 

Edited by SydneyCarton

29 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Why Would You Say That New Girl GIF by hero0fwar

No one needed that reminder.  We lived it. 

Lasts nights OTF made me physically ill when Jeff and CJ started talking about the 2020 season and all the close calls that could have saved Tom Herman’s job. 

Edited by Not a Sock

  • Popular Post

 

This is good to hear, from Benjamin Wolk (Georgia 247).

Props to the guy - he has said the first highlighted portion below, over and over again.

 

image.thumb.png.b03f42ddef74044133c5fe04bd7965eb.png

 

 

Says he's least confident re: Derrek Cooper to Georgia (of upcoming decisions):

 

image.thumb.png.fa92bb3fc37cc7abbb0ddac55d69bd0a.png

 

 

Edited by Getafix

Buffalina is overrated just like homeslice. Yall go out and get you some real pizza. 

Edited by Blackcat00

  • Popular Post

Nick Saban basically skull fucked the nation, but particularly the SEC, into having to just accept the fact that Alabama was a tough beat because they put guys in the league, and they played the game. It took the greater part of a decade, but it finally got normalized. 

I look forward to Texas normalizing that shit sooner, rather than later. Wolk seems to get it, and can read the obvious as fuck tea leaves. One more year of exciting draft returns for Texas, and we could be looking at the bullshit, surface level excuses of "Texas only wins recruiting battles because of money" and "Texas doesn't develop players" and "We don't want mercenaries" disappearing off the face of the earth. I cant speak to how Championships will fall in Texas's favor, but I know that eventually, even the dumbest motherfuckers, will have no choice but to accept that Texas is developing talent at a high motherfucking rate and Austin is a great place to play ball if you want a future in the NFL...and money now. 

I can't wait. Those fucking toothless SEC hayseeds basically incepted themselves to accept the reality that Alabama and Nick Saban were real, and there was an entire cognitive movement around SEC dick-riding by those atavistic waterheads to have to accept that reality without killing themselves. Because at least Alabama was one of them, right? No one views Texas as "one of us," and more importantly, Texas doesn't view the rest of them as peers, either. We're never going to join their little double digit IQ club, and they won't be able to handle it when we're crushing recruiting, getting dudes drafted, and playing for titles. Their brains will explode. It will be the most bitter dick they've ever tasted, and I am fucking HERE for it. And even better, aTm will almost certainly try to keep saying "See I told you so" to those goobers for some semblance of acceptance, and the rest of the SEC is going to reject the fuck out of them too. This is the inevitable end, and we're already seeing the beginnings of it with every single "I hate what the game has become" take on their fucking boards that coincides with whatever lie they're telling themselves currently to get through the day as reality starts to set in. Enjoy the lies you're telling to yourself now, boys, because sunlight is coming and there won't be any dark corner of your dim mind where you'll be able to hide from reality. 

Edited by SydneyCarton

29 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

Why even say this? You're not new here, you fully well know that there's about 15-20 motherfuckers on this website that need those reminders and to live in that miserable era just to get an erection. 

Copying and pasting the same outraged posts never gets old.*

 

 

 

*For them.

4 minutes ago, immamac said:

Hilarious he left us out when we are 2x all of those combined. 

And we ain't givin' nobody nuthin'

  • Popular Post

Dick Riding by The Atavistic Waterheads was one of the top punk albums of the early 80’s . I saw them in person at Raul’s, got shanked, but it was worth it.

7 hours ago, campcrunk said:

USC... is now forced to cut staff and sell off assets to stay afloat" 

 

 

Hey, they got this Heisman that hasn't been around that long. So they aren't that attached to it. 

Easy come, easy go. 

6 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

No one views Texas as "one of us," and more importantly, Texas doesn't view the rest of them as peers, either. We're never going to join their little double digit IQ club, and they won't be able to handle it when we're crushing recruiting, getting dudes drafted, and playing for titles. Their brains will explode. It will be the most bitter dick they've ever tasted, and I am fucking HERE for it. And even better, aTm will almost certainly try to keep saying "See I told you so" to those goobers for some semblance of acceptance, and the rest of the SEC is going to reject the fuck out of them too. This is the inevitable end, and we're already seeing the beginnings of it with every single "I hate what the game has become" take on their fucking boards that coincides with whatever lie they're telling themselves currently to get through the day as reality starts to set in. Enjoy the lies you're telling to yourself now, boys, because sunlight is coming and there won't be any dark corner of your dim mind where you'll be able to hide from reality. 

Sydney laying down the pure prose. You speak for all of us to the SEC:

spacer.png

 

The bolded part about the Aggies is one of the great observations you make. I'll only add another bitter pill for 8T4 to swallow. They'll hear this:

I can't stand Texas taking over the conference, but at least they're not another A&M. They win and they don't constantly whine.

 

14 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

No one views Texas as "one of us," and more importantly, Texas doesn't view the rest of them as peers, either. We're never going to join their little double digit IQ club

image.gif.bef421faa8a6d0b7ec0c985ec40a7ea3.gif

18 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

Nick Saban basically skull fucked the nation, but particularly the SEC, into having to just accept the fact that Alabama was a tough beat because they put guys in the league, and they played the game. It took the greater part of a decade, but it finally got normalized. 

I look forward to Texas normalizing that shit sooner, rather than later. Wolk seems to get it, and can read the obvious as fuck tea leaves. One more year of exciting draft returns for Texas, and we could be looking at the bullshit, surface level excuses of "Texas only wins recruiting battles because of money" and "Texas doesn't develop players" and "We don't want mercenaries." I cant speak to how Championships will fall in Texas's favor, but I know that eventually, even the dumbest motherfuckers, will have no choice but to accept that Texas is developing talent at a high motherfucking rate and Austin is a great place to play ball if you want a future in the NFL...and money now. 

I can't wait. Those fucking toothless SEC hayseeds basically incepted themselves to accept the reality that Alabama and Nick Saban were real, and their was an entire cognitive movement around SEC dick-riding by those atavistic waterheads to have to accept that reality without killing themselves. Because at least Alabama was one of them, right? No one views Texas as "one of us," and more importantly, Texas doesn't view the rest of them as peers, either. We're never going to join their little double digit IQ club, and they won't be able to handle it when we're crushing recruiting, getting dudes drafted, and playing for titles. Their brains will explode. It will be the most bitter dick they've ever tasted, and I am fucking HERE for it. And even better, aTm will almost certainly try to keep saying "See I told you so" to those goobers for some semblance of acceptance, and the rest of the SEC is going to reject the fuck out of them too. This is the inevitable end, and we're already seeing the beginnings of it with every single "I hate what the game has become" take on their fucking boards that coincides with whatever lie they're telling themselves currently to get through the day as reality starts to set in. Enjoy the lies you're telling to yourself now, boys, because sunlight is coming and there won't be any dark corner of your dim mind where you'll be able to hide from reality. 

I disagree with the A&M take, they’ll drop to their knees and suck off the old guard and try and trauma bond with them over evil TU. The real interesting one is OU, they’re to justifiably proud to cuck themselves to the SEC.

Bowman seems like a likely in season flip.  USC is going to shit the bed on and off the field.

18 minutes ago, RomaVicta said:

Sydney laying down the pure prose. You speak for all of us to the SEC:

spacer.png

 

The bolded part about the Aggies is one of the great observations you make. I'll only add another bitter pill for 8T4 to swallow. They'll hear this:

I can't stand Texas taking over the conference, but at least they're not another A&M. They win and they don't constantly whine.

 

He doesn’t speak for me, sir. He misused “their” for “there” and that’s a faux pas that I simply cannot abide. 

3 minutes ago, Not a Sock said:

they’ll drop to their knees and suck off the old guard and try and trauma bond with them over evil TU

You're saying the same thing. Lotta this energy

giphy.gif

49 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

Nick Saban basically skull fucked the nation, but particularly the SEC, into having to just accept the fact that Alabama was a tough beat because they put guys in the league, and they played the game. It took the greater part of a decade, but it finally got normalized. 

I look forward to Texas normalizing that shit sooner, rather than later. Wolk seems to get it, and can read the obvious as fuck tea leaves. One more year of exciting draft returns for Texas, and we could be looking at the bullshit, surface level excuses of "Texas only wins recruiting battles because of money" and "Texas doesn't develop players" and "We don't want mercenaries." I cant speak to how Championships will fall in Texas's favor, but I know that eventually, even the dumbest motherfuckers, will have no choice but to accept that Texas is developing talent at a high motherfucking rate and Austin is a great place to play ball if you want a future in the NFL...and money now. 

I can't wait. Those fucking toothless SEC hayseeds basically incepted themselves to accept the reality that Alabama and Nick Saban were real, and their was an entire cognitive movement around SEC dick-riding by those atavistic waterheads to have to accept that reality without killing themselves. Because at least Alabama was one of them, right? No one views Texas as "one of us," and more importantly, Texas doesn't view the rest of them as peers, either. We're never going to join their little double digit IQ club, and they won't be able to handle it when we're crushing recruiting, getting dudes drafted, and playing for titles. Their brains will explode. It will be the most bitter dick they've ever tasted, and I am fucking HERE for it. And even better, aTm will almost certainly try to keep saying "See I told you so" to those goobers for some semblance of acceptance, and the rest of the SEC is going to reject the fuck out of them too. This is the inevitable end, and we're already seeing the beginnings of it with every single "I hate what the game has become" take on their fucking boards that coincides with whatever lie they're telling themselves currently to get through the day as reality starts to set in. Enjoy the lies you're telling to yourself now, boys, because sunlight is coming and there won't be any dark corner of your dim mind where you'll be able to hide from reality. 

image.png.c6a5127c2e2982c62360b8c922d12b01.png

3 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

Going to be great when we win the natty and Aggie has to cheer for us because sec 

They will commit seppuku first

54 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

We're never going to join their little negative-imaginary-number IQ club, and they won't be able to handle it when we're crushing recruiting, getting dudes drafted, and playing for titles. Their absences of matter, where brains would normally reside, will implode.

FIFY

1 hour ago, MuellerHorn said:

Bobby: "Thursday"

Overview:

  • Texas still leads for Cooper going heading into his decision this Sunday
  • Texas still fucks in recruiting, even in the "rev share" era. So, stop going full Satya.
  • 'Member when we didn't land a five-star over multiple years during the desert wandering era? I 'member... Well, we're about to land three in one week! #enchubbened
  • Mosley and Endries are "even better than expected." Arch about to win the Heisman? 

Espn Texas GIF by College GameDay

  Reveal hidden contents
 

As of late last night, I am told that Texas still holds the pole position for Hollywood, Fla., five-star running back Derrek Cooper over the likes of Miami, Florida State, Georgia and Ohio State.

He is planning to announce his decision Sunday evening. Again, fingers crossed.

**

A lot of Texas fans are understandably giddy about what transpired on Tuesday.

The pledges of Tyler Atkinson and James Johnson are massive.

But perhaps even more, it showcased that the new “rev share” era of recruiting would not - rather, could not - stop the momentum the Longhorns have arduously built over the past couple of seasons.

In other words, Texas, even in the rev share era, can and will capitalize on the momentum the Horns rightfully earned the last couple of years.

There were some who doubted that, and perhaps justifiably so.

But the commitments of Atkinson and Johnson blow the doors off of that misconception.

**

Three five stars in one week would be exceeding expectations.

Yet that’s exactly what we’re looking at here if Cooper picks the Horns on Sunday.

As a reminder, Texas has gone multiple years in the past 15 without adding a single five star in its class.

Three in one week is as clear of a picture as we’re going to get about what’s going on in Austin, of the juggernaut Sark, GM Brandon Harris and the entire staff are potentially building.

**

One quick team note:

The early returns on wide receiver Emmett Mosley V and tight end Jack Endries are “even better than expected”.

To those behind the scenes, it’s becoming clear that in Endries, Texas truly has a very capable replacement for Gunnar Helm.

Mosley fits right in with Ryan Wingo and DeAndre Moore. Mosley is surprisingly athletic, an exacting route runner, and may be the team’s best 50-50 ball winner this season.

 

Please don’t waste our time on updates that don’t include pizza. 

32 minutes ago, Not a Sock said:

I disagree with the A&M take, they’ll drop to their knees and suck off the old guard and try and trauma bond with them over evil TU. The real interesting one is OU, they’re to justifiably proud to cuck themselves to the SEC.

You have a weird way of defining "acceptance." Yes, that is what's going to happen, and then the old guard will zip up their pants and tell them to fuck off because they're pathetic. 

25 minutes ago, kevwun said:

Bowman seems like a likely in season flip.  USC is going to shit the bed on and off the field.

Yeah, isn't Bowman the guy they promised like 3 million dollars? I don't see him flipping if that's the dude. Or was that Luftwaffle?

I think it was closer to 7 over 3 years or something insane, but I don't see how all of that comes to fruition with the news about the financial mess they are in.  That whole house of cards is going to implode at some point.  Riley is making promises about a lot of things that aren't going to happen.

Edited by kevwun

10 hours ago, Hagbard Celine said:

due

e06fcf02-514b-451a-8f25-89ad36485cf1.webp.c4688ea94f55e1692128734c28bbf7c7.webp

That reminds me, I miss Mangia's deep-dish pizza that I used to buy here in the ATX.

Just now, kevwun said:

I think it was closer to 7 over 3 years or something, but I don't see how all of that comes to fruition with the news about the financial mess they are in.

image.gif.9a1d9fb128c29957c4358536ac4e9e95.gif

  • Popular Post

 

Looks like Jeremy Johnson put in a Texas CB for Derrek Cooper.

 

Jeremy Johnson writes for the Georgia On3/Rivals site.

 

First of all, I'm hugely appreciative of Bobby's support for the program and the information he brings. Most of the good things in the 9.95 business over the last two-plus decades are a result of his efforts whereas there are, mostly, a lot of shady characters out there. (Some of them are also shady in the sense that they create a lot of shade). So this is not a criticism but rather an observation.

Anyway, it seems pretty clear from the way that Bobby is propping up Brandon Harris that Brandon Harris is his source.

  • Author
4 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

You have a weird way of defining "acceptance." Yes, that is what's going to happen, and then the old guard will zip up their pants and tell them to fuck off because they're pathetic. 

Yeah, isn't Bowman the guy they promised like 3 million dollars? I don't see him flipping if that's the dude. Or was that Luftwaffle?

They offered Bowman and Wafle insane packages they simply had to take.

1 hour ago, immamac said:

Hilarious he left us out when we are 2x all of those combined. 

Ketch's attorneys have advised him against it.

1 hour ago, MuellerHorn said:
  • Mosley and Endries are "even better than expected." Arch about to win the Heisman? 
  Reveal hidden contents
 

As of late last night, I am told that Texas still holds the pole position for Hollywood, Fla., five-star running back Derrek Cooper over the likes of Miami, Florida State, Georgia and Ohio State.

He is planning to announce his decision Sunday evening. Again, fingers crossed.

**

A lot of Texas fans are understandably giddy about what transpired on Tuesday.

The pledges of Tyler Atkinson and James Johnson are massive.

But perhaps even more, it showcased that the new “rev share” era of recruiting would not - rather, could not - stop the momentum the Longhorns have arduously built over the past couple of seasons.

In other words, Texas, even in the rev share era, can and will capitalize on the momentum the Horns rightfully earned the last couple of years.

There were some who doubted that, and perhaps justifiably so.

But the commitments of Atkinson and Johnson blow the doors off of that misconception.

**

Three five stars in one week would be exceeding expectations.

Yet that’s exactly what we’re looking at here if Cooper picks the Horns on Sunday.

As a reminder, Texas has gone multiple years in the past 15 without adding a single five star in its class.

Three in one week is as clear of a picture as we’re going to get about what’s going on in Austin, of the juggernaut Sark, GM Brandon Harris and the entire staff are potentially building.

**

One quick team note:

The early returns on wide receiver Emmett Mosley V and tight end Jack Endries are “even better than expected”.

To those behind the scenes, it’s becoming clear that in Endries, Texas truly has a very capable replacement for Gunnar Helm.

Mosley fits right in with Ryan Wingo and DeAndre Moore. Mosley is surprisingly athletic, an exacting route runner, and may be the team’s best 50-50 ball winner this season.

 

Freshman Mosley (playing 6 fewer games) had more receptions, yards, and TDs than Freshman Wingo. 

Obviously apples to oranges because of the differences in depth/need, but some damn fine stats from him in that horrific Stanford passing offense. Looking forward to seeing what he (and Endries) can bring.

I always used to feel that the recruit ranking services had a state of Texas bias and maybe to a small extent a UT bias, solely because of the location of some of the early creators of these services. 

However, if you look at the talent Texas is pulling in these days from other states, it seems like they really are getting the “better” 4 and 5 star players, as opposed to those who were rated 4 or 5 stars but had some questions about them. Herman’s 3rd ranked class was full of pretenders. 

1 hour ago, SydneyCarton said:

Nick Saban basically skull fucked the nation, but particularly the SEC, into having to just accept the fact that Alabama was a tough beat because they put guys in the league, and they played the game. It took the greater part of a decade, but it finally got normalized. 

I look forward to Texas normalizing that shit sooner, rather than later. Wolk seems to get it, and can read the obvious as fuck tea leaves. One more year of exciting draft returns for Texas, and we could be looking at the bullshit, surface level excuses of "Texas only wins recruiting battles because of money" and "Texas doesn't develop players" and "We don't want mercenaries" disappearing off the face of the earth. I cant speak to how Championships will fall in Texas's favor, but I know that eventually, even the dumbest motherfuckers, will have no choice but to accept that Texas is developing talent at a high motherfucking rate and Austin is a great place to play ball if you want a future in the NFL...and money now. 

I can't wait. Those fucking toothless SEC hayseeds basically incepted themselves to accept the reality that Alabama and Nick Saban were real, and there was an entire cognitive movement around SEC dick-riding by those atavistic waterheads to have to accept that reality without killing themselves. Because at least Alabama was one of them, right? No one views Texas as "one of us," and more importantly, Texas doesn't view the rest of them as peers, either. We're never going to join their little double digit IQ club, and they won't be able to handle it when we're crushing recruiting, getting dudes drafted, and playing for titles. Their brains will explode. It will be the most bitter dick they've ever tasted, and I am fucking HERE for it. And even better, aTm will almost certainly try to keep saying "See I told you so" to those goobers for some semblance of acceptance, and the rest of the SEC is going to reject the fuck out of them too. This is the inevitable end, and we're already seeing the beginnings of it with every single "I hate what the game has become" take on their fucking boards that coincides with whatever lie they're telling themselves currently to get through the day as reality starts to set in. Enjoy the lies you're telling to yourself now, boys, because sunlight is coming and there won't be any dark corner of your dim mind where you'll be able to hide from reality. 

You said it much more creatively, but I was going to equate Texas and Sark to when Phil Fulmer shows up to recruit Michael Oher in "The Blindside" and all of the other coaches are like, "Fuck us all! Fulmer is here. We're finished." Except, (obviously) Sark closes. 

Yeah, that's basically going to be Sark and Texas soon.

Also, I hope your post makes it to MBGs. The comment section would be riotous. 

Edited by MuellerHorn

38 minutes ago, Dbeasy said:

Please don’t waste our time on updates that don’t include pizza. 

How about pizzazz? Plenty of that in Texas recruiting this week. 

  • Popular Post
38 minutes ago, SimkinsMan said:

First of all, I'm hugely appreciative of Bobby's support for the program and the information he brings. Most of the good things in the 9.95 business over the last two-plus decades are a result of his efforts whereas there are, mostly, a lot of shady characters out there. (Some of them are also shady in the sense that they create a lot of shade). So this is not a criticism but rather an observation.

Anyway, it seems pretty clear from the way that Bobby is propping up Brandon Harris that Brandon Harris is his source.

Bobby can reach out to anyone on most staffs inside the UT AD.  It’s symbiotic and he’s not tied any single person anywhere within the org. 

1 hour ago, SydneyCarton said:

Nick Saban basically skull fucked the nation, but particularly the SEC, into having to just accept the fact that Alabama was a tough beat because they put guys in the league, and they played the game. It took the greater part of a decade, but it finally got normalized. 

I look forward to Texas normalizing that shit sooner, rather than later. Wolk seems to get it, and can read the obvious as fuck tea leaves. One more year of exciting draft returns for Texas, and we could be looking at the bullshit, surface level excuses of "Texas only wins recruiting battles because of money" and "Texas doesn't develop players" and "We don't want mercenaries" disappearing off the face of the earth. I cant speak to how Championships will fall in Texas's favor, but I know that eventually, even the dumbest motherfuckers, will have no choice but to accept that Texas is developing talent at a high motherfucking rate and Austin is a great place to play ball if you want a future in the NFL...and money now. 

I can't wait. Those fucking toothless SEC hayseeds basically incepted themselves to accept the reality that Alabama and Nick Saban were real, and there was an entire cognitive movement around SEC dick-riding by those atavistic waterheads to have to accept that reality without killing themselves. Because at least Alabama was one of them, right? No one views Texas as "one of us," and more importantly, Texas doesn't view the rest of them as peers, either. We're never going to join their little double digit IQ club, and they won't be able to handle it when we're crushing recruiting, getting dudes drafted, and playing for titles. Their brains will explode. It will be the most bitter dick they've ever tasted, and I am fucking HERE for it. And even better, aTm will almost certainly try to keep saying "See I told you so" to those goobers for some semblance of acceptance, and the rest of the SEC is going to reject the fuck out of them too. This is the inevitable end, and we're already seeing the beginnings of it with every single "I hate what the game has become" take on their fucking boards that coincides with whatever lie they're telling themselves currently to get through the day as reality starts to set in. Enjoy the lies you're telling to yourself now, boys, because sunlight is coming and there won't be any dark corner of your dim mind where you'll be able to hide from reality. 

Print, frame and hang this where it belongs: in the Louvre. 

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  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.