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When things are going good, everyone is a genius, especially the boss. When things are going poorly, everyone’s a moron, especially the boss. 

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  • Teryor
    Teryor

    k Excited for more tears

  • Getafix
    Getafix

    FYI - just cross-posting a really nice story.     Embedded tweet w/ anecdote.      

  • Jimmy Two Times
    Jimmy Two Times

    13,000 posts on surlyhorns.com is the hallmark of a guy who's just too busy to tune into commitment ceremonies. 

Posted Images

2 hours ago, Rimbo said:

There's probably not a bigger Texas sports fan in the world than Bobby. He took his obsession over it and built multiple companies out of it. Hats off to him.

I’d argue catch is bigger in terms of mass 

4 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

I’d argue catch Jabba is bigger in terms of mass.

FIFY

Edited by BachelorTrek

42 minutes ago, utee94 said:

Uhhhh... Conan's is not Mangia.  

Doh! All I could think was PIZZA!

I had my knee rebuilt Monday and I’m still sort of out of it.

On 7/16/2025 at 3:48 PM, Getafix said:

 

 

 

 

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Only Fans (MILF if she is a mother or she can pretend) is just a jiggle away.

4 hours ago, William Bludworth said:

Wait, we did land a few.... Malik Jefferson, Brandon "film my life, aggies" Jones, Caden Sterns , Erik Fowler, Bijan, Bru "I'll attend 3 universities in 4 years" McCoy, JT Sanders (Herman hold out), BJ Foster, Jordan Whittingham, Jalen Green, and a few others while we constantly shit ourselves. We just closed our eyes and grabbed a ton of shitty 3* kids that keep us enraged and forgetting. 

We tried to coach them "way the fuck up"

4 hours ago, closetojumping said:

Get fucked with your passive aggressive bullshit here. Some of us have dealt directly with the guy, and his boss, and every other part of the machine. Guys can get better at what they’re doing. You don’t get to retroactively use posts to talk shit about the current situation. The guy currently singing Harris’ praises was one of the biggest voices last summer about the guy’s issues, dummy. He just can’t go out and declare that the his audience at the time. Ironically, some of us were able to say something, and then we get to see this kind of shit for passing it on. 

In short, if you are thrown a fucking bone, we don’t need to hear how it tastes. 

Listen here, you fucking fringe……

4 hours ago, Post Oak said:

I don't know. Seems like a guy who has only signed top 5 classes and been the GM of the only team to go to back to back playoffs might have an idea of what hes doing. no matter what message board posters say. 

Might be that the HC at Texas who seems to to have a pretty good handle on hiring people might know something about his GMs competence.

These numbnuts have been slandering the guy for years without knowing anything about what he does behind the scenes. 

The GM coordinating the top class in the country last year and consistently is involved with top 5 classes every year doesn't know what he's doing. 

Bored Rowan Atkinson GIF by Working Title

  • Popular Post
8 hours ago, SydneyCarton said:

Nick Saban basically skull fucked the nation, but particularly the SEC, into having to just accept the fact that Alabama was a tough beat because they put guys in the league, and they played the game. It took the greater part of a decade, but it finally got normalized. 

I look forward to Texas normalizing that shit sooner, rather than later. Wolk seems to get it, and can read the obvious as fuck tea leaves. One more year of exciting draft returns for Texas, and we could be looking at the bullshit, surface level excuses of "Texas only wins recruiting battles because of money" and "Texas doesn't develop players" and "We don't want mercenaries" disappearing off the face of the earth. I cant speak to how Championships will fall in Texas's favor, but I know that eventually, even the dumbest motherfuckers, will have no choice but to accept that Texas is developing talent at a high motherfucking rate and Austin is a great place to play ball if you want a future in the NFL...and money now. 

I can't wait. Those fucking toothless SEC hayseeds basically incepted themselves to accept the reality that Alabama and Nick Saban were real, and there was an entire cognitive movement around SEC dick-riding by those atavistic waterheads to have to accept that reality without killing themselves. Because at least Alabama was one of them, right? No one views Texas as "one of us," and more importantly, Texas doesn't view the rest of them as peers, either. We're never going to join their little double digit IQ club, and they won't be able to handle it when we're crushing recruiting, getting dudes drafted, and playing for titles. Their brains will explode. It will be the most bitter dick they've ever tasted, and I am fucking HERE for it. And even better, aTm will almost certainly try to keep saying "See I told you so" to those goobers for some semblance of acceptance, and the rest of the SEC is going to reject the fuck out of them too. This is the inevitable end, and we're already seeing the beginnings of it with every single "I hate what the game has become" take on their fucking boards that coincides with whatever lie they're telling themselves currently to get through the day as reality starts to set in. Enjoy the lies you're telling to yourself now, boys, because sunlight is coming and there won't be any dark corner of your dim mind where you'll be able to hide from reality. 

If Texas truly takes over the big, bad SEC, it will be a sight to behold. It’s the only league in sport to give you this type of internet interaction:

 

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2 hours ago, William Bludworth said:

Can we please go back to shitting in the woods?

Eat some of the pizza referenced in this thread and you'll get your wish.

10 minutes ago, Carl Spackler said:

Eat some of the pizza referenced in this thread and you'll get your wish.

The quiche pizza or the toast pizza?

6 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

The quiche pizza or the toast pizza?

Maybe Detroit style, I have not seen that discussed 

23 hours ago, NashLonghorn said:

We tried to coach them "way the fuck up"

It's a shame the smartest man in the room just happened to be the stupidest. 

Chuckles and Herman. 

My apologies for the bonfire "joke" it was in horrible taste. 

Edited by William Bludworth

4 hours ago, TommyGufano said:

How many NFL players do you think are outside the top 1% of most athletic ppl on the planet?

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3 hours ago, Leanderman said:

Remember this?

OIP.6SmpZmGlzYroxPIrhkdLbQHaDj?pid=Api&P=0&h=220

We used to frequent this place when it was on Manchaca and Stassney.

fit=contain,width=375 

56 minutes ago, Carl Spackler said:

Eat some of the pizza referenced in this thread and you'll get your wish.

Helpful hint: Best to already be in the woods when eating commences. 

19 hours ago, campcrunk said:

Selling off team shit?

How much for one, or two of your cheerleaders?

5 hours ago, Dbeasy said:

When things are going good, everyone is a genius, especially the boss. When things are going poorly, everyone’s a moron, especially the boss. 

True…none of this stuff revolving around our football team happens without Sark.  Period…and Sark doesn’t happen without CDC.  Watch over and take care of these gentlemen!  We want to keep this going.

On 7/15/2025 at 9:40 PM, SydneyCarton said:

If this is a place to learn then man have we been failing. Slider2yBanana still can’t even breathe involuntarily, and just look at poor Helobious over there polishing his fake Amazon gold chain and speaking with the complete confidence of the truly imbecilic. And we’ve been at this for years. Nee decades. 

I think we have utterly and completely failed on learning. We do have nice tit pics though and the girl that does the booty shorts on some talk show! 

5 hours ago, LebongJames said:

Brandon Jones is turning into a top 10 safety in Denver

Kansas City Chiefs’ media team should make a documentary about him

6 hours ago, LebongJames said:

Brandon Jones is turning into a top 10 safety in Denver

TIL that brandon jones and p.j. locke are the two starting safeties in denver.  that's pretty cool.

  • Popular Post
3 hours ago, Cairn Horn88 said:

True…none of this stuff revolving around our football team happens without Sark.  Period…and Sark doesn’t happen without CDC.  Watch over and take care of these gentlemen!  We want to keep this going.

If we're ever tempted to take current affairs for granted, just sit in the dark at midnight, whisper the name Steve Patterson, and tremble. 

You know what that assholes' resume says about his time here: "Steve dramatically increased endowments and set records for tickets, premium seating, donations, concessions, and licensing revenues while dramatically reducing costs and upgrading data management to drive further future financial successes." I guess he couldn't work in "...oversaw development of some of the most boring, embarrassingly dreary sports programs in school history, had a vision that consisted of patchwork, psychotic skinflint delusions, and barely escaped town ahead of a lynch mob."

I hope a sports executive AI beats him to death with a rancid, gristly chicken-fried steak that he saved $1.62 on the ingredients in an attempt to drive future financial successes.    

Edited by Tired Horn
typo.

16 hours ago, Post Oak said:

I don't know. Seems like a guy who has only signed top 5 classes and been the GM of the only team to go to back to back playoffs might have an idea of what hes doing. no matter what message board posters say.

Placing the credit at Brandon Harris' feet for the top 5 classes is ludicrous.

On the list of reasons why Texas signed those classes, he isn't even sniffing the top 10.

Going Crazy Will Ferrell GIF

  • Popular Post

 

3 hours ago, NoName said:

Placing the credit at Brandon Harris' feet for the top 5 classes is ludicrous.

On the list of reasons why Texas signed those classes, he isn't even sniffing the top 10.

Going Crazy Will Ferrell GIF

Obviously, the credit goes to Seven Win Steve and Crissy Del Conte

1 minute ago, Texasrocks said:

Obviously, the credit goes to Seven Win Steve and Crissy Del Conte

*Crystal del Conte

8 hours ago, futureman said:

TIL that brandon jones and p.j. locke are the two starting safeties in denver.  that's pretty cool.

And they drafted Jahdae Barron in the 1st Round.  Broncos defense should be must see tv.  

6 minutes ago, Plorant said:

And they drafted Jahdae Barron in the 1st Round.  Broncos defense should be must see tv.  

and malcolm roach gets a lot of snaps as well. 

23 hours ago, SimkinsMan said:

First of all, I'm hugely appreciative of Bobby's support for the program and the information he brings. Most of the good things in the 9.95 business over the last two-plus decades are a result of his efforts whereas there are, mostly, a lot of shady characters out there. (Some of them are also shady in the sense that they create a lot of shade). So this is not a criticism but rather an observation.

Anyway, it seems pretty clear from the way that Bobby is propping up Brandon Harris that Brandon Harris is his source.

Sure, Harris could be a “source.” But so is everybody in our AD. I don’t think people realize how well connected Bobby is. And that’s understandable, because unlike many in his profession, he actually operates like a professional. He’s not name dropping, crusading, or putting his own interests above those of the people/sources that confide in him. Hell, I can’t even get him to tell me a secret when I find a way to make it attorney-client privilege. We’re lucky to have him.

Also, I’m in Nashville and there are some damn good pizza places here. We aren’t competing with Vandy for any 5 stars are we?

15 hours ago, William Bludworth said:

It's a shame the smartest man in the room just happened to be the stupidest. 

Chuckles and Herman. 

Let's all pray those names disappear faster than those in the aggy bonfire. 

No Way Reaction GIF

15 hours ago, William Bludworth said:

It's a shame the smartest man in the room just happened to be the stupidest. 

Chuckles and Herman. 

Let's all pray those names disappear faster than those in the aggy bonfire. 

WTF?  What a dumbass thing to say.

  • Popular Post
6 minutes ago, SquishMitten said:

No Way Reaction GIF

 

Just now, Tree Fidy said:

WTF?  What a dumbass thing to say.

Listen guys, I'd like to say it's not his fault, because he's brain damaged. 

But he's not brain damaged, he's just really fucking stupid and does a fuck ton of drugs and is really fucking stupid. Had to be said twice. 

3 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

 

Listen guys, I'd like to say it's not his fault, because he's brain damaged. 

But he's not brain damaged, he's just really fucking stupid and does a fuck ton of drugs and is really fucking stupid. Had to be said twice. 

Is this the Spider2YBanana reincarnation?

5 minutes ago, Vito Andolini said:

I guess I missed that line earlier, yeah, Spider says stupid shit, and that’s at the top of the list.

 

1 minute ago, Tree Fidy said:

Is this the Spider2YBanana reincarnation?

 

That's William Bludworth to you, gentlemen. Until he goes on his next bender and comes back with a new incarnation as he moves closer and closer to a hybrid of dangersnax and NowThis.

1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

Get fucked with your passive aggressive bullshit here. Some of us have dealt directly with the guy, and his boss, and every other part of the machine. Guys can get better at what they’re doing. You don’t get to retroactively use posts to talk shit about the current situation. The guy currently singing Harris’ praises was one of the biggest voices last summer about the guy’s issues, dummy. He just can’t go out and declare that the his audience at the time. Ironically, some of us were able to say something, and then we get to see this kind of shit for passing it on. 

In short, if you are thrown a fucking bone, we don’t need to hear how it tastes. 

So do you feel Harris has improved this year or is he same as last year but people are having to cover for him?

I am genuinely curious this isn't meant to be a "you said this back then and now what" I genuinely agree from some of the things you and others(including Bobby) were saying last year that he was in over his head.  I am not in the know by any means but multiple sources last year were pointing to Harris as an issue.

 

38 minutes ago, Park Gothic said:

Is this why you eat salsa with your bare hands like a toddler (or whatever CTJ is accusing you of I haven't followed it that closely)?

I was one of those people who thought Harris was incompetent. Or, at best, a biddable yes-man who tweeted eye emojis that did not actually seem to be related to recruiting.  And I don't think my sentiment was entirely unfounded. 

Now - yeah, you appear to be correct. I'm glad that Sark was able to see something in him and that the guy has gotten his shit together. I've said this a bunch of times, and I'll say it again at my peril, but I am fully in "trust the corches" mode when it comes to the Sark regime. If Sark was willing to let Glasscock go and put Harris in that role, dumb as it seemed to me at the time, that seems to have been the right call. 

Now don't go agreeing with Post Oak just yet.  A good coach/system can hide a myriad of flaws by making sure everything gets done or just telling people to do someone else's job for them.  

  • Popular Post
18 minutes ago, TexasRenegade said:

So do you feel Harris has improved this year or is he same as last year but people are having to cover for him?

I am genuinely curious this isn't meant to be a "you said this back then and now what" I genuinely agree from some of the things you and others(including Bobby) were saying last year that he was in over his head.  I am not in the know by any means but multiple sources last year were pointing to Harris as an issue.

 

Now don't go agreeing with Post Oak just yet.  A good coach/system can hide a myriad of flaws by making sure everything gets done or just telling people to do someone else's job for them.  

One of the things that has helped everyone, from donors to CDC to Sarkisian to coaching staff to Harris, is simply time. Most of the network and infrastructure is no longer unfamiliar. Yes, there have been a few new coaches, but that's about it. As folks are in the same roles for longer, they get better. Another factor, however, is that their flaws also become better understood and good managers are able to either help people work on those areas, or account for that weakness in some other way. 

Last year and prior to that, Harris was not ready for prime time. He's allegedly in better shape these days, but I highly doubt he's some skilled guru that is in high demand on the open market. He's still somewhat inexperienced and immature and he's buoyed by literally the best resourced program in the world.

Sarkisian is something of a micromanager around the roster, so he's not going to be repeatedly surprised when the same shit rears its head with each big recruitment or position group. Kenny Baker's been here a year+ and that helps, but he also no longer has to beg for attention and resources at DT. He had to throw fits after watching the May/June debacle last year and that changed things there, as an example.

Most lessons aren't learned through success, in my experience. Overcoming failure and adversity leads to growth and experience, then hopefully success and wisdom. If you choose to learn at all. Tom Herman is a narcissist. He's been incapable of true growth and learning since the narcissism framed up his personality in puberty, most likely. Nothing is ever his fault, so what is there to learn? Sarkisian is the opposite of that. He's empathetic and introspective. That's almost to a fault, I think. 

This is an introspective staff, led at the top by a guy who clearly is such. I'm just hoping that that finds its way into the red zone planning and playcalling this season. Allegedly the TE/A-back coach and Neal Brown are involved with just that, but we'll see. 

I think one of the unheralded aspect of our program, especially with the relaxed rules on assistants, is we are moving closer to a NFL style coaching staff. Where each position group has 1-2 assistants on top of the named position coach. There are a lot of teams that do this as well, but not every team in the SEC can afford it. It also helps that Kwiatowski has never shown signs of wanting to be a HC and having the OC/DC combo from a continuity standpoint is just the tits with pizza.

Pretty sure PK has explicitly said he has no HC desires bc he doesn’t have the personality for it 

16 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Pretty sure PK has explicitly said he has no HC desires bc he doesn’t have the personality for it 

Does he have aspiration to be NFL DC?  That's about the only x-factor remaining that I could see.

22 minutes ago, westexhorn said:

Does he have aspiration to be NFL DC?  That's about the only x-factor remaining that I could see.

He would likely take a pay cut. His currently salary at Texas $1.9 million, and most NFL DCs make around $1 million. Obviously guys like Vic Fangio make a lot more than that, but they've also been in the league forever. If he was killing himself on the recruiting trail then maybe. But I don't think that's the case either. 

Anything can happen, but I think we'll have PK for a few more seasons at least. 

NFL DC's have to move around a lot also because the shelf life of head coaches is so short.

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