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My particular form of PTSD comes in a couple different styles. Nail guns, plywood slapping to the ground, construction sites in general drive me nuts. One loud BANG and I'm scanning the roof tops and looking for cover.

The other is I can't wear anything on my wrists or around my neck. The constant urge to rip that shit off of me can't be denied.

Also told I scream in my sleep sometimes, but I don't remember whatever nightmares I'm having.

Luna isn't a certified service dog but she fills the role well. Her calm demeanor lets me know everything is fine.

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So I had to ask for something at work for myself. I have anxiety attacks when I have to ask for something that I want/need. If it’s for someone else I’m good. Ughhhh I’m wiped 

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Say a few syllables for @zork

I don't know who reads along, but if you are thinking bad thoughts and one of them is a permanent end, I am asking you to reach out to someone.

Suicide Hotline is 24/7. 

You don't have to go down the road alone.

What’s going on? Yeah dude don’t go anywhere, we like you man. A lot of crap can come at us but even if it seems permanent good days are still out there. More sunsets, sunrises, I mean great food and even mediocre sex is worth it … stick around, I’ll buy you a beer!! 

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1 minute ago, troph said:

What’s going on? Yeah dude don’t go anywhere, we like you man. A lot of crap can come at us but even if it seems permanent good days are still out there. More sunsets, sunrises, I mean great food and even mediocre sex is worth it … stick around, I’ll buy you a beer!! 

It wasn't on my radar that he was at risk. I'm kinda stunned. 

On 10/25/2021 at 4:46 PM, YChang said:


Broad brush but… Psychiatrist by training will go medication first to treat the person. They see it as an illness. A psychologist instead wants to help the person understand why/how of the problem.

Your friend likely can benefit with both.

They should see each other as complementary, I think most do. And some psychs are good therapists, too.  But yeah, it depends on what manifestations or symptoms of PTSD he has.  Anxiety, which is a biggie, is not one that psychiatry/medicine has a lot of answers for, currently, so that's probably a therapy thing.  But depression figures into it, too.  And so on.

 

2 hours ago, cactusflinthead said:

Not sure how else to say it. 

Same @zork as from HF / Shag?  From Dallas?  I am pretty sure I went to his house for storm damage around 11 years ago when I worked up there most of the summer.

9 hours ago, cactusflinthead said:

Not sure how else to say it. 

Is he still with us? I’m confused.

9 minutes ago, troph said:

Is he still with us? I’m confused.

Zork took his own life this past week.  Thread in IPIHB.

9 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

Zork took his own life this past week.  Thread in IPIHB.

Shit that’s a gut punch. And I apparently can’t find IPIHB.

Edited by troph

  • Author
2 hours ago, troph said:

Shit that’s a gut punch. And I apparently can’t find IPIHB.

It isn't easy to find.

I didn't pay enough attention to it's location last night. All I thought about was there might be somebody else going down that same road and I had to say something.

It ain't about me. I'm just another asshole in a bunch of them. 

 

I wasn't sure if I should post in that thread or here. We have a good friend who is spiraling a little bit. She has been up/down for a few years, but this past year + has been particularly bad. She has gone through two different therapists and I don't think either seem to be helping her much. She was hospitalized last April/May for I believe the 2nd or 3rd time. She has a couple of friends including my wife who are "in" with her and are trying to help her. She keeps telling my wife she just wants to get through the holidays and end it. She is a married mother of 3 (12, 9 and 4). I am probably not close enough with her to intervene directly. My wife seems to be doing and saying all of the right things (one day at a time, etc) but I feel like there's got to be more that we can do. Her eldest is now getting into some weird shit and is the school has already called home about suicidal concerns. If anyone has any thoughts, I would appreciate any advice. And RIP Zork, of course. 

Edited by Baboontyme

7 hours ago, Baboontyme said:

I wasn't sure if I should post in that thread or here. We have a good friend who is spiraling a little bit. She has been up/down for a few years, but this past year + has been particularly bad. She has gone through two different therapists and I don't think either seem to be helping her much. She was hospitalized last April/May for I believe the 2nd or 3rd time. She has a couple of friends including my wife who are "in" with her and are trying to help her. She keeps telling my wife she just wants to get through the holidays and end it. She is a married mother of 3 (12, 9 and 4). I am probably not close enough with her to intervene directly. My wife seems to be doing and saying all of the right things (one day at a time, etc) but I feel like there's got to be more that we can do. Her eldest is now getting into some weird shit and is the school has already called home about suicidal concerns. If anyone has any thoughts, I would appreciate any advice. And RIP Zork, of course. 

Being someone that’s had those thoughts in my head please know your wife and you are doing all you can. Just love that friend and it’s all you can do. 

17 hours ago, Baboontyme said:

I wasn't sure if I should post in that thread or here. We have a good friend who is spiraling a little bit. She has been up/down for a few years, but this past year + has been particularly bad. She has gone through two different therapists and I don't think either seem to be helping her much. She was hospitalized last April/May for I believe the 2nd or 3rd time. She has a couple of friends including my wife who are "in" with her and are trying to help her. She keeps telling my wife she just wants to get through the holidays and end it. She is a married mother of 3 (12, 9 and 4). I am probably not close enough with her to intervene directly. My wife seems to be doing and saying all of the right things (one day at a time, etc) but I feel like there's got to be more that we can do. Her eldest is now getting into some weird shit and is the school has already called home about suicidal concerns. If anyone has any thoughts, I would appreciate any advice. And RIP Zork, of course.

I'm sorry that all y'all are going through that. There isn't much more that you can do, except be there. It shows that there are people who have her back. I'd also make sure that you and yours are doing okay. It sucks but other people can have an affect on your mood. Hook'em, man. 

3 hours ago, workswithseed said:

I'm sorry that all y'all are going through that. There isn't much more that you can do, except be there. It shows that there are people who have her back. I'd also make sure that you and yours are doing okay. It sucks but other people can have an affect on your mood. Hook'em, man. 

Very very true. Watch out for your own mental health and the others around you. I

 

Thanks guys. I guess I can just keep offering to give the kids rides to/from school to make things easier on them. 

Cross posting this that I posted in another thread. 

just wanted to say,  I just watched "alive" last night.  It's an ESPN e:60 story about Drew Robinson. 

I don't know why but I haven't really slept well since my first post in this thread. Maybe dredging all that shit up. But I watched that last night and it seemed to settle me down in my head.  

  •  

 

  • 3 weeks later...

Do any of you have obsessive thoughts that just consume your entire day? I've been very quiet about this but it's driving me crazy. Earlier this year I was involved in a competition and got my ass kicked (not literally). Some days I spend my entire work day just obsessing over it. Replaying what went wrong, imagining what would have happened had I done things differently, just non stop. It happens so much that when someone comes up to me to ask a question it's like they're interrupting the flow in my head and it pisses me off. How do I let go of it? What things have you done to move on? 

Do any of you have obsessive thoughts that just consume your entire day? I've been very quiet about this but it's driving me crazy. Earlier this year I was involved in a competition and got my ass kicked (not literally). Some days I spend my entire work day just obsessing over it. Replaying what went wrong, imagining what would have happened had I done things differently, just non stop. It happens so much that when someone comes up to me to ask a question it's like they're interrupting the flow in my head and it pisses me off. How do I let go of it? What things have you done to move on? 

Look into cognitive behavioral therapy. Writing it down helped as well, I’m sure. Meditation and mentally slowing down my thoughts helps me to not get stuck. It’s not easy, but it is doable and you are okay. Involving a professional was a huge help for me.
2 hours ago, HRSchenker said:

Do any of you have obsessive thoughts that just consume your entire day? I've been very quiet about this but it's driving me crazy. Earlier this year I was involved in a competition and got my ass kicked (not literally). Some days I spend my entire work day just obsessing over it. Replaying what went wrong, imagining what would have happened had I done things differently, just non stop. It happens so much that when someone comes up to me to ask a question it's like they're interrupting the flow in my head and it pisses me off. How do I let go of it? What things have you done to move on? 

Old football coach to us DB’s all the fucking time: “there’s no last play, there’s no next play, there’s only this play”. Whether you got a pick or got burned for a TD, it’s behind you and you need to focus on what’s at hand. Think about if you won the competition: would it not be weird to constantly replay it and obsess over it in your mind? It’s in the past, learn what you can from it and move on. 

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4 hours ago, tigol said:


Look into cognitive behavioral therapy. Writing it down helped as well, I’m sure. Meditation and mentally slowing down my thoughts helps me to not get stuck. It’s not easy, but it is doable and you are okay. Involving a professional was a huge help for me.

I should add that I knew I needed help and sought out a therapist.  For years, I told doctors I was anxious, nervous, unable to cope and was given low dose Xanex, multiple anti-depressants..none of it worked for me.  My blood pressure was not normal and they put me on drugs for that.  I sought out a psychiatrist in Dallas hoping that would bring relief.  Nope.  He just prescribed Buspar and sent me on my way.  The therapist I found in Austin offered a free consultation to see if she could be of help.  The only words I could come up with to describe what was going on were, "I can't stop beating myself up."  I'll never forget it.  It was the only thing I could muster, but was the crux of the problem.  I didn't want to be there, but knew I needed to be.  We talked and she asked me a few things about childhood, but we were able to hone in on some exercises that worked for me.  For me, being aware of the mechanics of what was going on and strategies to address these issues were key.  It took about 6 sessions before I could look at her and say, "I think I am okay."  That was 4 years ago.  I still think that I'm okay.  I might need her again.  That's okay, too. 

On 11/9/2021 at 11:01 AM, Baboontyme said:

Thanks guys. I guess I can just keep offering to give the kids rides to/from school to make things easier on them. 

Good advice from WWS. You just offer love and positive attention. It sounds like your wife is making a positive difference with her. Stay positive and always, always, always heed the advice from WWS of taking care of yourself. Make sure y’all are not on empty emotionally.

Caught up with some college friends over the holiday.  They were telling us about another friend who got a DUI last June and quickly admitted to having a drinking problem.  He had gone through a rough divorce a few years back, add the Pandemic and bam.  Lost a good job, in between jobs now, with 2 kids and an ex wife who is still drama.  Life comes at you fast, Man.  All the sudden this spreadsheet I can't get to box balance doesn't bother me as much.

 

Opinions on tele-sessions vs. 1:1 / IRL?

Both can work. It’s still about the rapport you build with your therapist. I have some friends that prefer tele-therapy and others IRL.
On 11/29/2021 at 3:33 PM, HRSchenker said:

Do any of you have obsessive thoughts that just consume your entire day? I've been very quiet about this but it's driving me crazy. Earlier this year I was involved in a competition and got my ass kicked (not literally). Some days I spend my entire work day just obsessing over it. Replaying what went wrong, imagining what would have happened had I done things differently, just non stop. It happens so much that when someone comes up to me to ask a question it's like they're interrupting the flow in my head and it pisses me off. How do I let go of it? What things have you done to move on? 

I have this issue dealing with my parents. Even now as a middle aged man they drive me fucking crazy with their narcissistic bullshit. 

I go over and over what I'm going to say to them about how they refuse to respect my boundaries. I can't tell them where I live or or work because they will actively sabotage my life in an effort to get me back home.  Its so fucked up.

Their attempted manipulation and guilt trips always ramp up this time of year. I usually blow them.off with excuses, but this time around I'm telling the fucking truth why they aren't going to see me this holiday or ever.

4 hours ago, workswithseed said:

I'm sorry that you have to do that. I hope your decision works out for the better, man. 

The truth shall set me free. Its the only way forward for my own sanity. 

On 12/3/2021 at 10:09 AM, MissingInAction said:

I have this issue dealing with my parents. Even now as a middle aged man they drive me fucking crazy with their narcissistic bullshit. 

I go over and over what I'm going to say to them about how they refuse to respect my boundaries. I can't tell them where I live or or work because they will actively sabotage my life in an effort to get me back home.  Its so fucked up.

Their attempted manipulation and guilt trips always ramp up this time of year. I usually blow them.off with excuses, but this time around I'm telling the fucking truth why they aren't going to see me this holiday or ever.

Damn. Why do your parents want you in their house?

40 minutes ago, XYZ said:

Damn. Why do your parents want you in their house?

Its just pure insanity. Trying to explain or understand it is futile. 

Edited by MissingInAction

Just give them a grandchild & get it over with...

...Or rent some neighborhood kid for a couple of days & make sure he understand the plan, will get a shitload of presents, etc.

"Yeah, ummm... 'Mom' has to work. Things are really busy down at the animal shelter hospital VA center place. Just the two of us while she's busy."

Sent from my SM-A326U1 using Tapatalk

The struggle is real these days. Just slogging through w/o the usual joy. The world just seems so grim. I'm going in search of some puppy videos or babies laughing or something.

10 hours ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

The struggle is real these days. Just slogging through w/o the usual joy. The world just seems so grim. I'm going in search of some puppy videos or babies laughing or something.

Let's have a laugh.  I miss this show.  

 

My wife tested positive for Covid the Friday before last my 6, 3 year olds and me negative. Then Tuesday my 6 year old said “everything smells like sausages”. So Wednesday morning I get them test and myself. They are positive me negative. We quarantined pretty much almost all of October due to out breaks at school and now we have been much of December. Also my 6 year old is going to miss all of December school because of this shit with break after next week. I’ve been dipping in and out of the kitchen to cook and clean wearing a mask washing my hands keeping my distance but I’m freaking out because I had it in March and don’t want it again even though it was mild. I am vaccinated but I am really scared of long term effects if any. Waking up with anxiety every day due to that and the fact I just want to hold my wife and kids. This all hopefully ends Wednesday or latest Friday. But if I test positive and them negative come then, then I’m fucked and back in the basement. I have some sort of PTSD from when I got it back in March because being isolated that long (it was 2 weeks back then) freaked me out. 

Edited by Bogeywon
Errors and shit

  • Author

48.8 k views. There are 1.3k replies. 

Somebody is reading what you wrote. A lot of times. It might not feel like you're contributing but somebody is reading it.

Y'all hang tough. Or come on here and let the rant out.

I'm pulling for you.

 

 

 

  • Author
On 12/4/2021 at 2:37 PM, MissingInAction said:

Its just pure insanity. Trying to explain or understand it is futile. 

There's a lot of truth right here. Some shit isn't going to make sense. I don't expect to understand why some people do crazy shit. I can make boundaries. I can refuse to react negatively. But, I don't know why the crazy do what they do.

This year has been filled with blessings, but it has had more than its fair share of challenges. When things have not gone the way I hoped they would I just remembered that things happen and you just do the best you can. If that is good enough, cool. If your best is not up to the situation then that is likely not the path you should be going down. 
 

We have people here who are struggling mightily with things. I read it and I think about y’all and I hope for the best for each of you that are willing to share your thoughts and feelings. I do not judge anyone and think it’s cool how open people are here. I wish the rest of this board operated and could come together like this thread does!

  • Author

A hundred in a day.

I watched the ticker in here since I last posted. A .1k came by here since yesterday.

We have sports, politics, bbq, music, moviez, teevee and that's not all!

But, somewhere in this buncha assholes 100 souls found their way in here. Maybe they typed out a longcat screedy rant.

Hit the back button and moved on.

It's ok. It will still be here tomorrow.

Like they said to me. This too shall pass.

Edited by cactusflinthead

Hey fellas, this is my hardest Christmas ever. I have a great new job, I make a shit load of money, the daughter I have missed for months is home from college and my other daughter is safe and well and thriving more than ever. 
But, I think there’s a leak behind shower in the girls bathroom. My old lab is 11 and having trouble getting around. A couple months ago a filling sort of fell apart and recently it seems like that tooth is starting to hurt. I should have done something about that before now. My eldest just tested  positive for Covid yesterday. She’s fine and vaxxed and we’re all negative but still, kind of a buzzkill. I drink too much. Everyone at work is younger than I am and even though I’ve got all my hair and I’m in damn good shape, i don’t sleep well.  I have a lot of days when nothing I’m trying to say gets past the tip of my tongue and I really don’t recognize the old man in the mirror 

This morning I gave benjis to the garbage men. God they seemed happy. That felt good, probably the best $200 I’ve spent in years, but man, I’d like to feel real joy again. It seems like lately the best I can do is relief or satisfaction, and thats not quite enough. 
Know what I mean?

anyway/ thanks for reading this. Merry Christmas.

Edited by Bozo_Casanova

Merry Christmas. Charity is one of the best feeling things to do. I know I feel better giving to those who need something more than I. 

1 hour ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

Hey fellas, this is my hardest Christmas ever. I have a great new job, I make a shit load of money, the daughter I have missed for months is home from college and my other daughter is safe and well and thriving more than ever. 
But, I think there’s a leak behind shower in the girls bathroom. My old lab is 11 and having trouble getting around. A couple months ago a filling sort of fell apart and recently it seems like that tooth is starting to hurt. I should have done something about that before now. My eldest just tested  positive for Covid yesterday. She’s fine and vaxxed and we’re all negative but still, kind of a buzzkill. I drink too much. Everyone at work is younger than I am and even though I’ve got all my hair and I’m in damn good shape, i don’t sleep well.  I have a lot of days when nothing I’m trying to say gets past the tip of my tongue and I really don’t recognize the old man in the mirror 

This morning I gave benjis to the garbage men. God they seemed happy. That felt good, probably the best $200 I’ve spent in years, but man, I’d like to feel real joy again. It seems like lately the best I can do is relief or satisfaction, and thats not quite enough. 
Know what I mean?

anyway/ thanks for reading this. Merry Christmas.

Just so you know I read every word of this. This life is full of highs and lows. Don’t let lows get to low and the highs to high. Merry Christmas to you and yours 

4 hours ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

Hey fellas, this is my hardest Christmas ever. I have a great new job, I make a shit load of money, the daughter I have missed for months is home from college and my other daughter is safe and well and thriving more than ever. 
But, I think there’s a leak behind shower in the girls bathroom. My old lab is 11 and having trouble getting around. A couple months ago a filling sort of fell apart and recently it seems like that tooth is starting to hurt. I should have done something about that before now. My eldest just tested  positive for Covid yesterday. She’s fine and vaxxed and we’re all negative but still, kind of a buzzkill. I drink too much. Everyone at work is younger than I am and even though I’ve got all my hair and I’m in damn good shape, i don’t sleep well.  I have a lot of days when nothing I’m trying to say gets past the tip of my tongue and I really don’t recognize the old man in the mirror 

This morning I gave benjis to the garbage men. God they seemed happy. That felt good, probably the best $200 I’ve spent in years, but man, I’d like to feel real joy again. It seems like lately the best I can do is relief or satisfaction, and thats not quite enough. 
Know what I mean?

anyway/ thanks for reading this. Merry Christmas.

Sending good vibes your way.

Life is hard.  This place makes it a little bit easier, and even gives a few laughs along the way.  Merry Christmas, ya animals of filth.

22 hours ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

A couple months ago a filling sort of fell apart and recently it seems like that tooth is starting to hurt

Several years ago, I had a fractured molar and had to get a crown. No biggie. Then a few years later, I started having hot and cold pain, dentist says the new crown is cracked (WTF). Got a new crown and later still, had more pain. He says I need to see a endodontist or periodontist, as the new crown is solid and looks to be seated perfectly. I called one of those and after explaining my issue, the gal said she thinks my tooth has cracked all the way down and needs to be removed and replaced with an implant. I said fuck that noise and moved on. Haven't had pain for maybe a year....until this past week. Real, intense pain from anything hot. I think I'm finally fucked.

TL;DR please go get your tooth checked out and save yourself some misery down the road.

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