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Featured Replies

If that's a real photo, I'm Brad Pitt, and my wife assures me (often) I am not Brad Pitt.

  • Replies 654
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  • SydneyCarton
    SydneyCarton

    Dont be a disingenuous asshole. Maggie could fucking get it.        She looked nothing like the Killsbury Doughboy. 

  • Lol, no. He'll profit off of a book deal co-authored by Jesse Watters, and with an intro by Joel Osteen, because 40% of this country is irredeemably fucking stupid.

  • henrygandorf
    henrygandorf

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(from twitter)

 

Militia Etheridge

 

Lilith Below Average

 

there's a lot to shit on in the Tucker photo but drives me insane when people can't keep their collar in their jacket

Wait, so that picture isn't shopped? Seriously? No fucking way.

Next time I hear about population decline from a woman, I'm gonna show them this photograph and wait for them to finally say, "Oh yeah, I get it now..." 

Jesus Christ it’s a photoshop, there’s fucked up swirls everywhere

1 hour ago, StassneyHorn said:

Jesus Christ it’s a photoshop, there’s fucked up swirls everywhere

image.gif.4a465541c35f22ff1ba0cbdb5386957c.gif

3 hours ago, StassneyHorn said:

Jesus Christ it’s a photoshop, there’s fucked up swirls everywhere

Did the pixels give it away, Sherlock?

8 hours ago, StassneyHorn said:

Jesus Christ it’s a photoshop, there’s fucked up swirls everywhere

Look, I consider myself an LGBTQ+ ally and all, but I'm not all up on the lingo.  Is "swirls" when two dudes hug and bump junk together?  NTTAWWT

The buttons on his shirt and the wall behind him are “swirling.” This is what happens when the Kardashians photoshop their asses

22 hours ago, StassneyHorn said:

Jesus Christ it’s a photoshop, there’s fucked up swirls everywhere

lol

14 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Look, I consider myself an LGBTQ+ ally and all, but I'm not all up on the lingo.  Is "swirls" when two dudes hug and bump junk together?  NTTAWWT

I've seen Kyle and Tucker called a lot of things but "swirls" is a new one. I might start using that.

4 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Someone thought that was real? Seriously?

Have you not heard of the internet?  "Gullible" and "it's on the internet" go together like PB and J.

On 1/11/2024 at 9:58 AM, DigglerontheHoof said:

Wonder if johnnysack is still manning the glory hole for this little bitch. 

He took the picture.

On 1/11/2024 at 9:27 AM, kevwun said:

Kyle is so stealthy he managed to not even get any dust on his boots.

 

On 1/11/2024 at 8:24 AM, atomheartbevo said:

It's fucking crazy that he has both sharp creases in his clothes after "training all day" as well as fruit snack wrappers on the ground.  Even people on forums that would normally be friendly to him are mocking him.   I guess cosplaying is all he has left if the military won't take him.  I'm half expecting him to join the Texas State Guard and be sworn in by Abbott.

GDdNtzLagAAYFTh?format=jpg&name=large

 

Why are we all assuming he was doing faux-Army stuff? Maybe those guys all spent the whole day so they could brush up on Classical Greek and read Plato and Aristotle in the original, gotta understand Western Culture to defend Western Culture. 8 hours of trying to get your head around the Aorist tense ain't no joke.

16 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

 

Why are we all assuming he was doing faux-Army stuff? Maybe those guys all spent the whole day so they could brush up on Classical Greek and read Plato and Aristotle in the original, gotta understand Western Culture to defend Western Culture. 8 hours of trying to get your head around the Aorist tense ain't no joke.

Truly the Diogenes of our time. 

3 minutes ago, YChang said:

Truly the Diogenes of our time. 

And then of course they might have spent the whole day learning about European folk traditions like dancing and music. Bulgarian singing would be a good start, they do this nasal thing that approximates auto-tuning. And that's just another small part of what they'd want to know. This is exciting.

  • 3 weeks later...
  • Author

Get your orders in ….

 

5 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

Get your orders in ….

 

From the article and site:

Mission Statement
Honor Christ by equipping Free Men with the tools of liberty necessary to preserve God-given rights.

Of course Kyle is riding the grift train. It’s not like his choice is grift vs starting as an audit associate at EY.

he's a high school graduate that was turned away from the military because of his test scores.

the world needs ditch diggers too.

11 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

the world needs ditch diggers too.

He also failed his ditch-digging exam.

Kyle wouldn't last 5 minutes digging a ditch.

He might, if you told him there were fruit snax at the bottom.

1 minute ago, Aqua Buddha said:

These come in XXL, I assume?

That's called "Healthy."

Man I’d love to see that doughy mass go through basic and be enlisted infantry.  Go watch Restrepo and get ready to ‘tool up’.  

30 minutes ago, Homercles said:

Man I’d love to see that doughy mass go through basic and be enlisted infantry.  Go watch Restrepo and get ready to ‘tool up’.  

He’d have his group doing push-ups while he ate fruit snacks that the DI found in his foot locker. 
 

eta someone should generate that image using a still from the jelly donut scene and the above pic of him. 

Edited by Pato del Muerto

does this tac vest come in Husky or Rittenhouse-sizes?  

I know this isn't a popular take given that he is a rightfully acquitted (from a legal standpoint) multiple murderer.  But I do sometimes feel genuinely feel sorry for the dipshit.  He had all these projections from millions of lunatics just foisted upon him and he was simply not mentally wired to handle the pressure or expectations.  Then again, if he's old enough some killin', he's old enough to learn how to cope with the aftermath and media spotlight.  But man, he is just failing at everything spectacularly.  And somewhere in middle America, there's a girl coming of age, looking at him thinking, "Someday, I get to be Mrs. Kyle Rittenhouse!"  Of course, she'll eventually drown their 4 children, but there'll be some salad days in between.  

Edited by YGIFS

3 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

does this tac vest come in Husky or Rittenhouse-sizes?  

Yes but the plates remain the same size

2 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

He washed out of blinn, didn’t he?

I’m not sure there is evidence that he made to Day 1.

Has he announced for Congress yet?

On 1/16/2024 at 10:10 AM, C-Man said:

I've seen Kyle and Tucker called a lot of things but "swirls" is a new one. I might start using that.

Yet put those names together and you get one of the best RFs in MLB.  Go figure.

20 hours ago, Satchel said:

Has he announced for Congress yet?

From all evidence, he doesn't even have the intelligence to match the already low levels of Boebert and MTG. Is there a Special Congress that would take him?

When the events of the fateful night occurred, Rittenhouse was 17 and as far as I know was already having difficulty with school and never completed his hs education. That closes a lot of doors even if one is carrying all the baggage and notoriety that Kyle has. His parents had split up and I don't know if anyone was giving him sound advice or if he would've even listened to it considering all the other voices whispering in his ear.

I don't feel sorry for him, he's entered that George Zimmerman zone which has the effect of trying to reconcile one's psyche with past events while living in the present and society is going to forever place the two (past and present) together because that is the way it works. The difference between Rittenhouse and say, Zimmerman, is that Rittenhouse is barely 21 and has a lot of years left. Therapy, testing for a learning disorder, and completing his GED would go a long way in rehabbing his life (as opposed to hanging out with guns and guys who play soldier). I doubt he ever will.

Edited by Mrs Whiggins

On 2/4/2024 at 11:26 AM, Homercles said:

Man I’d love to see that doughy mass go through basic and be enlisted infantry.  Go watch Restrepo and get ready to ‘tool up’.  

ef6c6d83-f237-46df-8da5-3ef16a64c185_tex

On 2/4/2024 at 8:04 AM, Nice Guy Eddie said:

Of course Kyle is riding the grift train. It’s not like his choice is grift vs starting as an audit associate at EY.

he's a high school graduate that was turned away from the military because of his test scores.

the world needs ditch diggers too.

You may be giving him too much credit:

Eventually transitioning to online school, he dropped out and left Lakes Community High School altogether in 2018 after attending for one semester in 2017–2018.

On 2/4/2024 at 11:55 AM, Pato del Muerto said:

He washed out of blinn, didn’t he?

He never managed to wash in

He never managed to wash in
His mama was too busy showing him how the piggies eat.

He was laden with Fruit Snacks. Such a special boy.

A reality show of "Rittenhouse Joins the Army" would literally break the internet.

3 hours ago, Fastbreak said:

A reality show of "Rittenhouse Joins the Army" would literally break the internet.

Maybe get him on the next season of that insane "special forces" reality TV show? They had scaramucci on lol

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