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12-year-old me thought Johnny from Airplane/Airplane II was the funniest actor on Earth.

 

LOL same.

”Oooh it’s a big pretty white plane with red stripes…with curtains in the windows and wheels…. it looks like a big Tylenol!”

 

Look at this!

"Passengers Certain To Die".

"Airline Negligent".

There's a sale at Penney's!

  • Author

The inspiration for this thread was Airplane II being on one of the HBO channels while I was eating lunch. Some of Johnny’s best lines are from Airplane II, which is pretty damn funny still.

“First the earth cooled. And then the dinosaurs came but they got too big and fat so they all died and turned into oil. Then the Arabs came and they bought Mercedes Benzes.”

“Fresno! Nobody goes to Fresno anymore.” (Said with such disdain)

40 minutes ago, C-Man said:

 

12-year-old me thought Johnny from Airplane/Airplane II was the funniest actor on Earth.

 

The typing in this scene always slays me.

Ted Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We’re bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We’re coming in from the north, below their radar.
Elaine Dickinson: When will you be back?
Ted Striker: I can’t tell you that. It’s classified.

  • Author
23 minutes ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Where did you get that dress, it's awful, and those shoes and that coat, jeeeeez!

One of my favorite lines!

I find the character and  both films devoid of any humor.  Everyone on this thread sucks for perpetuating the scripts.  

Greatness... 

And I find Mrs. Ovuer rather attractive. 

1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

I find the character and  both films devoid of any humor.  Everyone on this thread sucks for perpetuating the scripts.  

There will be 99 with one opinion and one with the other.  Let's figure out which side you're on.

1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

I find the character and  both films devoid of any humor.  Everyone on this thread sucks for perpetuating the scripts.  

 

nandor-fucking-guy.gif

1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

I find the character and  both films devoid of any humor.  Everyone on this thread sucks for perpetuating the scripts.  

airplane-let-them-crash.gif

When I see him enter a thread to shit on something or give us a wall of text.

airplane-suicide.gif

11 minutes ago, mdmost said:

When I see him enter a thread to shit on something or give us a wall of text.

airplane-suicide.gif

You forgot the part where the wall of text often involves him trying to be funny in the most excruciatingly unfunny way.  

Oh c'mon man, you're an adult.  You can skip past my posts any time, but instead you choose to bitch on a weekly basis about how you don't read them despite incessant posting about not wanting read them.  Only time we worry about Surly Bevo is when he quits bitching.

Here's how I know you guys are fucking morons.  I love those movies and quote them regularly.  Johnny Jacobs was a national treasure.  How they went from Zero Hour to number two with almost the exact same framework is sublimely wonderful.  20 years of incessantly quoting Airplane/II, and you guys quoting me quoting shit and you pick one sarcastic post to bitch and moan?  Your fathers must be terribly proud of your cuntiness.  

We don't have a tower, sir.  

Edited by YGIFS

I want the kids in bed by 9, I want the dog fed, the yard watered, and the gate locked.  And get a note to the milkman...no more CHEESE!

It's the dumbest script device, but when he leaves home and gets in the car with the dude from the airline and hits the guy on the bike, and the guy shouts "asshole!", I cry every damn time.  

2 hours ago, YGIFS said:

I find the character and  both films devoid of any humor.  Everyone on this thread sucks for perpetuating the scripts.  

Both films?  You find the original Airplane devoid of humor?  

stupid-forest-gump.gif

I fucking love this is when you guys decide to take me seriously even though I've based most of my posting history on the love of these two movies.  What a weird fucking stand we've all chosen.  

Also, what's the fastest land animal?  

  • Author

The ongoing, increasingly outrageous Lloyd Bridges "Guess I picked the wrong week to stop smoking/drinking/sniffing glue/amphetamines" is also a highlight.

Also, 12-year-old me fucking died at the guy waiting for Striker to return to the cab the entire movie. Think he pops up after the credits saying something like, "20 more minutes and then I'm giving up" or something like that.

"The shit's gonna hit the fan" and "Boys, let's get some pictures" bits are so silly/stupid but I still laugh every time.

 

I can't remember where I read it, but there's some story that the guy in the cab was an associate producer and filmed those scenes as a gag with the Zucker Brothers.  

37 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

I can't remember where I read it, but there's some story that the guy in the cab was an associate producer and filmed those scenes as a gag with the Zucker Brothers.  

Close.

 The dude in the cab is Howard Jarvis, who was the front man for California Prop 13 tax initiative (capped property tax in at 2%).

He was in a cab though, so you got that correctly.

4 hours ago, mdmost said:

giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e47j14lumf7lnlb17sqdj

James Hong is in his mid-90's and still working.  

More from Johnny...

Auntie Em, Uncle Henry, Toto! It's a twister! It's a twister! 

I use Captain Oveur as my avatar on our Family Life 360.e7dfad7de3a23bb5a2b7a11a0f26bac1.jpg

Passenger: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Passenger: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I’ve been nervous lots of times.

I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't work hard enough on defense. And he says that lots of times, you don't even run down court. And that you don't really try, except during the playoffs.

The turboprop sound effect for the exterior shots of the jet is one of the dumb things that always gets a disproportionate laugh from me.

5 minutes ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't work hard enough on defense. And he says that lots of times, you don't even run down court. And that you don't really try, except during the playoffs.

The hell I don't. Listen kid, I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I'm out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes.

4 hours ago, DaysOff said:

I use Captain Oveur as my avatar on our Family Life 360.e7dfad7de3a23bb5a2b7a11a0f26bac1.jpg

Avatar and Life360 Avatar combo are intriguing. 

My mom, unaware of what she was getting into, took my sister and I to see Airplane! in 1980.  I was seven.  So her timing was perfect.

 

At the time, the mayhem (and boobies) that followed the line, "No, we're also out of coffee" was my favorite part.

 

"Listen, Betty.  Don't start up with your white-zone shit again."

Edited by dcbc

Don't call me Shirley

You can tell me, I'm a doctor

Also, the calm down bit where the lady is getting hysterical and there is a line of people wanting to beat the shit out of her

No parking in the red/white zone bit

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