Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Featured Replies

  • Replies 866
  • Views 72.7k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • Hank Kingsley
    Hank Kingsley

    Texans watching Allred fuck Ted Cruz on the debate stage tonight. 

  • I was at a friends house watching the UT game and there were other "friends" there that were aggy waiting for our game to end. One of those transgender prisoner commercials came on - now mind you I wa

  • bolverk
    bolverk

    Hey, motherfucker, YOU repeatedly claim to have all kinds of connections in the TX GQP. It's not MY responsibility for YOUR party to put up someone who isn't a "walking piece of toxic human shit" agai

Posted Images

And to think that his dad, who may or may not have killed JFK, had a couple of degrees from UT.

On 5/6/2023 at 10:38 PM, troph said:

If I wasn’t trans and was ok with death threats I’d fucking run - the gun issue isn’t hard - love guns, show you love them, then be like “but not a fan of kids getting mowed down so let’s do something.”

So fucking easy for Beto or Colin to go to south texas, kill a deer, pose with rifle and dead dear, and post photo.

Profit.  Better yet, befriend Peter Attia and start raving about your love of axis venison and how wonderful it is to hunt axis dear.  Axis -- that's a bonus word.

  • Popular Post

If Allred and Cruz debate, Allred should start off the debate by self-deprecatingly saying that "I'm not a skilled debater like my opponent is.  I didn't have the advantage of taking debate classes at fancy private high schools like Mr. Cruz did. I was too busy working to help my school teacher mom pay the bills and playing football. I saw football as my ticket to the life I wanted. So, while Ted was in debate classes, I was a linebacker. Playing football. A lot of football.  So I may not come off as slick as Mr. Cruz, but there are some things that are more important than being slick. Football players, of which I am one, tend not to sound as slick as those who went to private schools, took debate classes, and didn't play football."  

On 5/9/2023 at 11:21 AM, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:

If Allred and Cruz debate, Allred should start off the debate by self-deprecatingly saying that "I'm not a skilled debater like my opponent is.  I didn't have the advantage of taking debate classes at fancy private high schools like Mr. Cruz did. I was too busy working to help my school teacher mom pay the bills and playing football. I saw football as my ticket to the life I wanted. So, while Ted was in debate classes, I was a linebacker. Playing football. A lot of football.  So I may not come off as slick as Mr. Cruz, but there are some things that are more important than being slick. Football players, of which I am one, tend not to sound as slick as those who went to private schools, took debate classes, and didn't play football."  

Allred should challenge Cruz to an Oklahoma Drill on the debate stage. 

49425fbfe1d8247cb5454dfead606ced

On 5/9/2023 at 9:21 AM, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:

If Allred and Cruz debate, Allred should start off the debate by self-deprecatingly saying that "I'm not a skilled debater like my opponent is.  I didn't have the advantage of taking debate classes at fancy private high schools like Mr. Cruz did. I was too busy working to help my school teacher mom pay the bills and playing football. I saw football as my ticket to the life I wanted. So, while Ted was in debate classes, I was a linebacker. Playing football. A lot of football.  So I may not come off as slick as Mr. Cruz, but there are some things that are more important than being slick. Football players, of which I am one, tend not to sound as slick as those who went to private schools, took debate classes, and didn't play football."  

Political fan fiction is weird

On 5/9/2023 at 11:21 AM, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:

If Allred and Cruz debate, Allred should start off the debate by self-deprecatingly saying that "I'm not a skilled debater like my opponent is.  I didn't have the advantage of taking debate classes at fancy private high schools like Mr. Cruz did. I was too busy working to help my school teacher mom pay the bills and playing football. I saw football as my ticket to the life I wanted. So, while Ted was in debate classes, I was a linebacker. Playing football. A lot of football.  So I may not come off as slick as Mr. Cruz, but there are some things that are more important than being slick. Football players, of which I am one, tend not to sound as slick as those who went to private schools, took debate classes, and didn't play football."  

If he's willing to do that, he might as well do this, it'd probably get more votes --

 

He could just mention he went to Baylor, as to his conservative bona fides, while Raffy went to librul Ivy League grooming schools. 

On 5/9/2023 at 11:21 AM, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:

If Allred and Cruz debate, Allred should start off the debate by self-deprecatingly saying that "I'm not a skilled debater like my opponent is.  I didn't have the advantage of taking debate classes at fancy private high schools like Mr. Cruz did. I was too busy working to help my school teacher mom pay the bills and playing football. I saw football as my ticket to the life I wanted. So, while Ted was in debate classes, I was a linebacker. Playing football. A lot of football.  So I may not come off as slick as Mr. Cruz, but there are some things that are more important than being slick. Football players, of which I am one, tend not to sound as slick as those who went to private schools, took debate classes, and didn't play football."  

For the life of me, I don’t see the polish and erudition that is routinely associated with Cruz. I see Elmer Gantry.

2 hours ago, ChuckNorrisActionJeans said:

If he's willing to do that, he might as well do this, it'd probably get more votes --

 

Allred would win in a landslide if that was his opening statement.  Although Cruz would win in an even bigger landslide if he opened that way.

On 5/12/2023 at 11:17 AM, WBT said:

Political fan fiction is weird

On 5/9/2023 at 11:21 AM, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:

If Allred and Cruz debate, Allred should start off the debate by self-deprecatingly saying that "I'm not a skilled debater like my opponent is.  I didn't have the advantage of taking debate classes at fancy private high schools like Mr. Cruz did. I was too busy working to help my school teacher mom pay the bills and playing football. I saw football as my ticket to the life I wanted. So, while Ted was in debate classes, I was a linebacker. Playing football. A lot of football.  So I may not come off as slick as Mr. Cruz, but there are some things that are more important than being slick. Football players, of which I am one, tend not to sound as slick as those who went to private schools, took debate classes, and didn't play football."  

fap fap fap

49 minutes ago, Pancho said:

Pussy

 

2020?

Hmmmmmm. Something happened that year. What was it?

Edited by David Dennison

On 5/8/2023 at 7:42 PM, Kyrie Eleison said:

image.thumb.png.88d94af17601cafd5ab742d29245eb54.png

It wouldn't be easy on us, and it might forever damage our children, but I dont hate the idea of a few hundred thousand of those getting plastered all over the state. 

On 5/12/2023 at 11:17 AM, WBT said:

Political fan fiction is weird


You got political fan fiction out of this? All I was trying to do was emphasize the fact that Allred should use the word "football" 217 times in any debate, being that football is right up there with Jesus and brisket as talismans that represent Texas values while at the same time making oblique fun of Ted's pudgy, non-football body. 

Edited by Horn Under a Bad Sign

Wow, imagine if he had that kinda spine when people insulted his wife.  

1 hour ago, 4th&Five said:

Get Wrecked Yeah Right GIF by NETFLIX

Seems like a campaign attack ad that ChatGPT could easily write. 

"Ted Cruz jokes about deserting Texas during the winter storm when hundreds died and billions in property was damaged. Why? Because he knows he can do whatever he wants and you won't hold him accountable. So he laughs at you, he mocks you while you freeze... while your kids are scared to go to school... while women lose their freedom of choice."

Edited by FirstTimeCaller

Maybe he can swing by Uvalde to make fun of the dead kids next.

1 hour ago, 4th&Five said:

Get Wrecked Yeah Right GIF by NETFLIX

This is a shit move even for Ted.  He really does revel in the hate, but this is weird even for him.  
 

in other news, ted went inside the Cancun grill to request a table of four to dine with his wife and children but had to leave abruptly because, like real Cancun, they hate him and left 

1 minute ago, Biff Tannen said:

What a horrible human being.

Kobe Bryant Yes GIF

The mouthbreathers will eat that up. So what if he ran to Cancun during a disaster, he owned the libs with a tweet!

5 fucking restaurants with Cancun in the name within 20 minutes of his place in Houston and Sen. Cruntz has to travel all the way to Midland to find a photo op?  

Oh right, right.  You're never really in Houston for more than a fundraiser because your family fucking hates you.  

On 5/6/2023 at 8:07 PM, TwiceHorn said:

Yeah, oof, gzus.

There are ways to make that point easily without sounding extreme.  That ain't one of em and was a kiss of death for Beto.

I think it’s important for the larger society to learn how to normalize a healthy dispassion about guns. There’s nothing wrong with not loving guns.

Damn, he is fucking impressive.  It's unfair to compare him, but Allred has all the attributes that Beto was lacking.  

I don't know how it'll translate statewide in 2024, but if it's true-that it's all about the person next to you---I want the person next to me to be Allred.  

Damn, he is fucking impressive.  It's unfair to compare him, but Allred has all the attributes that Beto was lacking.  
I don't know how it'll translate statewide in 2024, but if it's true-that it's all about the person next to you---I want the person next to me to be Allred.  
It's ridiculous that someone like Allred has to run against someone as unlikable as Ted Cruz to have a chance at winning a statewide election. I believe whole-heartedly that he can beat Cruz. I also think he loses to Patrick, Paxton, or Abbott. Fuck this state.
3 hours ago, tchookem said:

I also think he loses to Patrick, Paxton, or Abbott. Fuck this state.

Patrick is not running again, and Paxton.....his fate is being decided as we speak and...

Joaquin Phoenix Reaction GIF



Patrick is not running again, and Paxton.....his fate is being decided as we speak and...
200.gif


What did I miss?
On 5/19/2023 at 4:32 PM, Satchel said:

I think it’s important for the larger society to learn how to normalize a healthy dispassion about guns. There’s nothing wrong with not loving guns.

I would love for the country as a whole and this state especially to realize owning a bajillion guns isn't you're ticket to big-dickdom.  Unfortunately for those of us that are packing real meat, we are way out numbered by the shroom peni.

4 hours ago, tchookem said:

Dude has "it". I'm convinced he can win.


https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxKtJ-ENsATopzomm0lqM4k7SUs7Su8d76
 

He's going to get steamrolled.  I'll bet $100 to the winner's charity of choice he loses by a larger margin than Beto did to Rafael.

4 hours ago, tchookem said:

It's unfair to compare him, but Allred has all the attributes that Beto was lacking.  

He's not white.

16 hours ago, tchookem said:

What did I miss?

Shit, didn't realize he reversed himself and decided not to retire.

  • 3 months later...

Didn't we already have a motorcycle-riding candidate?

Good ad, though. Never heard of him before. Pretty interesting story. 

Are we going to ignore the fact that Ted Cruz actively assisted Donald Trump in trying to stay in power despite losing the election?

2 minutes ago, Bookman said:

Are we going to ignore the fact that Ted Cruz actively assisted Donald Trump in trying to stay in power despite losing the election?

Does that play well with Texas voters?

  • 5 months later...

Al Franken - "I liked Ted Cruz more than my colleagues liked Ted Cruz...and I hate Ted Cruz."

16 minutes ago, Dbeasy said:

Al Franken - "I liked Ted Cruz more than my colleagues liked Ted Cruz...and I hate Ted Cruz."

 

 

  • 1 month later...
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.