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Featured Replies

We’ll jump off that bridge when we get to it.

It’s just like falling off a bike.

My wife is full of these, because English is not her first language. Some of them she does on purpose.

Such as "mental pause" for menopause.

Because... well, you tell her that's not appropriate.

3 minutes ago, Hate said:

We’ll jump off that bridge when we get to it.

It’s just like falling off a bike.

When was the last time we heard the great wisdom of Jimmy?

4 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

The misuse of affect and effect drives me bananas.

what effect does it have on you?  why do you let it affect you so much?

nucular.

 

don't start quoting the dictionary that allows both. they made that exception because idiots couldn't be counted on to pronounce it like it's spelled.

1 hour ago, bamachine said:

Hot water heater

I accidentally said this the other day.  I immediately punched myself in the junk.

Here in west texas, the names of the days of the week have been truncated and it drives me insane
Sunday -> Sund-ee
Monday -> Mond-ee
Tuesday -> Tuesd-ee
... you get the point
Also "pilla" as opposed to pillow
 

Those aren’t West Texans, they’re okie transplants

"freshmen" when they mean "freshman"

"dominate" when they mean "dominant"

"awesome" when they mean "allsome"

I literally suppose I'll have to believe it, but this thread has gotten to 66 posts without any mention of "French benefits".

 

Y'all are slipping.

2 hours ago, TankedBevo said:

Sweater gawd

A couple-three

Here's a Sweater God.  Does this count?

91fc1a01ce1099eb6c01eefca65c2e00.jpg

Spelled more than spoken, but still a problem:

"togather" vs. "together".

6 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

The misuse of affect and effect drives me bananas.

That one is NEVER going away

When people say they're "bringing" something to somewhere as opposed to "taking".

11 minutes ago, Jerry Callo said:

When people say they're "bringing" something to somewhere as opposed to "taking".

yoots.

There are two types of people in this world:

1.  Those who use an Oxford comma

2.  Scumbags

 

Edit:  And 3.  Hobbits   

So three types.

Edit edit:  And 4. And this ashtray.  5.  And this lamp.  6. And this paddle game....

Edited by clapclapclap

1 hour ago, Don Keibals said:

ax instead of ask bothers me still

It's because you're racist and such.

Edited by South Austin

1 hour ago, ROFL BOX said:

Here's a Sweater God.  Does this count?

91fc1a01ce1099eb6c01eefca65c2e00.jpg

Well, she's a girl so no.  Sweater goddess is what the judges were looking for...

Anyone that says wersh for wash needs to be eliminated from the gene pool.

There's a dumbass that works for me that says he's been diagnosed with "Planter's Fascist".

Are you qualified to say he does not believe in growing vegetables in a strict manner?

6 hours ago, Jerry Callo said:

Pronouncing double Ls in a Spanish word as Ls as opposed to Y.    Quesadilla, tortilla, etc. 

Students like to tell me they lick themselves.

I got this buddy. Good guy. But he would put on airs and critique other people's pronunciation. Except that he pronounced "pronunciation" as "pronounciation".

I never, ever pointed that out to him.

8 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

Fox pass.

It's in the Wives thread, but mine was talking about some jacket that was fox fur.  That's right, real faux fur.

I'm going to go over the list with a fine tooth and comb

salmon said SAL-mun rather than sam-un

subtracting numbers and saying "I'm going to minus 8 from 17" or multiply by "timesing" one number by another. 

People with any connection to human resources are to language what Sandusky is to little boys.

3 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

Here's a Sweater God.  Does this count?

91fc1a01ce1099eb6c01eefca65c2e00.jpg

Please point the way to her house of worship.

The use of "escape goat" instead of scapegoat. To make it worse, I live in Oklahoma and it is often pronounced "excape goat". Then they use it to mean "alibi" and I just walk away.

3 hours ago, BrickHorn said:

“Should have went.”

 

In a similar vein, "I have got to . . .".

The use of "escape goat" instead of scapegoat. To make it worse, I live in Oklahoma and it is often pronounced "excape goat". Then they use it to mean "alibi" and I just walk away.

Slightly racess
52 minutes ago, Chet Steadman said:

When someone takes something out of the fridge so they can let it “de-thaw”.  

wouldn't that be freezing something ?

12 minutes ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:


Slightly racess

If my fellow cracka-ass crackas can't take the heat, they need to excape the kitchen.

Holy shit. I’ve watched the Sopranos a couple of times and I don’t remember catching most of those. That’s awesome.

9 hours ago, deadshank said:

I'm going to go over the list with a fine tooth and comb

salmon said SAL-mun rather than sam-un

subtracting numbers and saying "I'm going to minus 8 from 17" or multiply by "timesing" one number by another. 

Fuck off, I'll pronounce the l in salmon all I want.

17 hours ago, South Austin said:

Blinded by the light.  Wrapped up like a douche, another runner in the night.

About 10 years ago we were playing Rockband, playing Tom Sawyer by Rush.  My buddy's girlfriend at the time was on vocals.  At the end of the second verse she belts out "Joan Rivers!"  We failed the song, laughing our asses off.

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