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According to Westpfahl's official police report, he did what cops usually do in these situations: told them to break it up and put their clothes back on, before walking away to give them some privacy.

But when the officer walked back up to the car, he allegedly found Puttkemery and Scott back at it again. He told them again to stop, and Puttkemery decided it was time to make a stand.

"No, bro, I'm trying to fuck," he reportedly told Westpfahl, and the car started rocking again. The officer and sex-haver engaged in a brief tug-of-war with the car door, which eventually got Puttkemery out of the vehicle—although he continued to admonish the officer for ruining his night.

“You’re a man, you should understand, it's Oktoberfest weekend,” Puttkemery allegedly said, before telling Westpfahl that the cop was "cockblocking him" and "giving him blue balls.” Westpfahl, who was probably in the middle of a night he'll never forget, tried to get Puttkemery to put on some pants. “It’s just a dick, nothing to be afraid of,” the young lover said.

Scott, for her part, reportedly assured Westpfahl the act was mutually consensual, and that the couple didn't stop because Puttkemery "wanted to finish

bring this guy all the meats and cheeses

How do you post that and not include the beautiful last line of the article?

"The police report does not note whether or not Puttkemery finished."

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