Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Texans, Fire Up Your VPNs/Present Your Government ID to View Porn Online (Now they want to ban all porn nation-wide)

Featured Replies

1 minute ago, MissingInAction said:

Xvideo saves your history without creating an account.

Not sure that's a good thing but it makes "things" simpler.

Shark Tank Writing GIF

  • Replies 948
  • Views 102.5k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • Disco Strangler
    Disco Strangler

    Lifelong Texan here since born in Abilene in 1970.  Lived in Slow-deatha, Republic of Austin, SA.  Remember when we used to be “The Friendly State” with a mind your own business mentality.  The state

  • Patricio Swayze
    Patricio Swayze

    Registry for guns? No fucking way. Registry for viewing porn? Best idea since sliced bread.

  • This thread took an odd turn.  But I'm not going to kink shame you.

Posted Images

19 minutes ago, Valmy77 said:

I know. Instead of getting your porn in 2 seconds you might need 10 seconds. 

Still better than accessing it on dialup.

KMPInLh.gif

 

Youporn is gone also. And just when the algorithm was finally feeding me videos for my very specific fetish. I don't want to get into details, but let's just say it involves Asian mimes pretending to get stuck in dishwashers with their stepmom. 

7 minutes ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Youporn is gone also. And just when the algorithm was finally feeding me videos for my very specific fetish. I don't want to get into details, but let's just say it involves Asian mimes pretending to get stuck in dishwashers with their stepmom. 

Summer Satisfying GIF by SMARTY

Has anyone checked if this website is still open?

Spoiler

Screenshot_20240314_191748_Firefox.thumb.jpg.0aad5abfa2c28e0497e92d49b5420174.jpg

 

Pornhub should hire a team of developers to write code that creates watermarked copies public domain non-pornographic films, each watermark bearing a different serial number and some kind of pithy aphorism from ChatGPT-4.

Pornhub should make these watermarked films available on Pornhub to any users interested in viewing these unique, transformative adaptations of the public domain non-pornographic films.

Pornhub should publish four of these watermarked non-pornographic films for each video that one of its content creators has already uploaded to the website.

Pornhub should hire a team of developers to ensure that, any time a content creator submits a video, servers automatically generate the watermarked non-pornographic films, then upload and publish those four watermarked non-pornographic films before the content creator's submission is published.

When that has happened, Pornhub would no longer be bound by HB 1181 because it would no longer be true that "more than one-third of" Pornhub's content "is sexual material harmful to minors"

I'm sure Paxton's collection of videos of him pissing all over a wheelchair-bound governor is still considered safe.

Edited by Deej

4 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

Nows the time to open a pornshop in Texas. 

Pornstars?

Shocked Pawn Stars GIF by DefyTV

Freedom is having options. We're well on our way to having fewer and fewer. Perhaps we should consider doing something different than what we have been doing while we still have that option. 

2 hours ago, seven said:

And then you watched some Slavic soldier get a knife to the neck instead of the Brittany spears sextape 

Ice Hockey Sport GIF by NHL

17 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

Best we can do is fitlump.

Fitlump and Romeo Rose in the porn of the year: Dos Tacos

Recorded and edited by Case McCoy

15 minutes ago, Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand said:

Freedom is having options. We're well on our way to having fewer and fewer. Perhaps we should consider doing something different than what we have been doing while we still have that option. 

As long as our governor doesn't have the freedom to move his lower body, you can fuck your freedoms. 

I came across these while cleaning out a cabinet the other day. Sometimes the gods smile upon us. 
 

 

IMG_8543.jpeg

my right-hand man told me that xhamster is still working.

On 8/6/2023 at 6:26 PM, HOOKEM4 said:

 Let's make ole Ted and his lame/odd porn choices national news.

IMG_2445.jpeg.26147e47857b8a3d5b001ac76908c558.jpeg

<search: “Woman willingly having sex with man”>

17 minutes ago, Deej said:

As long as our governor doesn't have the freedom to move his lower body, you can fuck your freedoms. 

*Posted on weathered board above toilet*

If the governor ain't happy, ain't no one happy

4 minutes ago, Al Bundy&#x27;s Napoleon Hand said:

*Posted on weathered board above toilet*

If the governor ain't happy, ain't no one happy

Burma-Shave

32 minutes ago, freyguy said:

my right-hand man told me that xhamster is still working.

pornone as well

53 minutes ago, freyguy said:

my right-hand man told me that xhamster is still working.

 

20 minutes ago, TheStoicPaisano said:

pornone as well

This is how fucking stupid the elected douchebags think their voters are. They pass a basically unenforceable law. Their fake christian dipshit voters masturbate to the idea of saving children from watching porn and again vote the douchebags to stay in office.

I can promise you I didn't whack off to any of that

4 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

Me either... I was just watching...

Case-McCoy.jpg

Fired up my old porn-only Twitter and all my ladies from the past decade were still there waiting for me under my Likes. 

You don’t want to watch the illicit material, Ken?  Just avert your eye. 

I’m Pro 28A:

“A well regulated masturbatory session, being necessary to the security of a Sane Mind, the right of the people to wank and spank via internet, shall not be infringed”

  • Popular Post
17 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

Porn is why the internet exists.

We'll train pigeons to fly spank mags around if we have to.

 

e93.png

  • Author
On 3/14/2024 at 8:57 PM, freyguy said:

my right-hand man told me that xhamster is still working.

Frustrated Ryan Gosling GIF
 

https://www.kxan.com/news/texas-politics/ken-paxton-sues-2-more-adult-websites-over-age-verification-law/
 

Quote

Two more adult websites are facing lawsuits from Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton’s office over accusations they’re not following the state’s age verification law, the latest effort to legally go after internet porn providers. 

The Office of the Attorney General filed two civil lawsuits Tuesday afternoon in Travis County against the respective companies that own the websites xHamster and Chaturbate. Paxton said they’re not doing enough to stop those younger than 18 from looking at the adult content.

Quote

Paxton’s office would like a court to issue a permanent injunction against the two websites and force them to pay hefty fines if they don’t come into compliance with House Bill 1181, which went into effect on Sept. 1 last year. It requires age verification measures to protect minors from what the law’s supporters called exposure to sexually obscene materials.

Quote

Sites like PornHub are on the run because Texas has a law that aims to prevent them from showing harmful, obscene material to children,” Paxton posted on his X account. “We recently secured a major victory against PornHub and other sites that sought to block this law from taking effect. In Texas, companies cannot get away with showing porn to children. If they don’t want to comply, good riddance.”

He posted the above on Twitter, which is full of porn.

Quote

The state’s latest lawsuit notes visitors to the xHamster website are met with a pop-up message where they have to click a button confirming they’re older than 18. However, Paxton’s office claims that’s not enough to follow the new law. 

“Minors can simply click almost anywhere on the webpage away from the ‘I’m 18 or older’ button, including the ‘X’ in the top right corner of the message, to dismiss the pop-up message and proceed to the Defendant’s pornographic website,” the lawsuit explains. “The age verification methods used by the Defendant on its websites cannot be said to verify anything at all, and they wholly fail to comply with the requirements of Chapter 129B.”

Quote

The state is asking the court for xHamster to pay a civil penalty of up to $1.67 million as well as an additional $10,000 a day since the lawsuit’s filing.

 

1 minute ago, atomheartbevo said:

Chaturbate

Season 5 No GIF by The Office

  • Popular Post
On 3/14/2024 at 6:31 PM, Covri said:

Reddit is like 90% porn and it’s not even included in these shenanigans 

cut-it-jonah-hill.gif

On 3/14/2024 at 7:01 PM, HornOnTheBayou said:

Youporn is gone also. And just when the algorithm was finally feeding me videos for my very specific fetish. I don't want to get into details, but let's just say it involves Asian mimes pretending to get stuck in dishwashers with their stepmom. 

 

2 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

So now I have to pay for nazi midget domination porn.. at home.

 

Well, where else you gonna watch it?  At the little Pole.......land?   

They’re going to have to pry my dick from my cold dead hands

  • Author
6 minutes ago, tokamak said:

They’re going to have to pry my dick from my cold dead hands

As long as you don’t break your neck trying to suck your own dick.  

1 hour ago, MissingInAction said:

So now I have to pay for nazi midget domination porn.. at home.


Hey, if you want porn with your pepsi, you’re gonna pay for it, pal. 

Reddit is like 90% porn and it’s not even included in these shenanigans 

cut-it-jonah-hill.gif



Fuck Reddit, their admin, and the “he gets us” ad riddled corpse of what they used to be.

Long live Apollo. Now someone help me sideload it on my iPhone.

Christofacism is the American way, Praise fake Jesus. Just don't tell these fake christians that they are the opposite side of the same coin as the Islamist fascist/Sharia dipshits.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.