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Texans, Fire Up Your VPNs/Present Your Government ID to View Porn Online (Now they want to ban all porn nation-wide)

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  • Author

I don't know about anybody else, but having been "the computer guy" in the family, and having done a lot of tech support for my older relatives, I can think of at least 3-4 older relatives who are going to freak out over this when it kicks in.  I'm already picturing the requests I get, but they'll be worded so as not to mention "porn" just that "some sites I visit want my driver's license, I think I'm being hacked, can you help me?"

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  • Disco Strangler
    Disco Strangler

    Lifelong Texan here since born in Abilene in 1970.  Lived in Slow-deatha, Republic of Austin, SA.  Remember when we used to be “The Friendly State” with a mind your own business mentality.  The state

  • Patricio Swayze
    Patricio Swayze

    Registry for guns? No fucking way. Registry for viewing porn? Best idea since sliced bread.

  • This thread took an odd turn.  But I'm not going to kink shame you.

Posted Images

I have to be honest. As a parent of four with the oldest being 14, limiting their potential access to 24-7 pornography going forward isn’t a bad thing. 
 
If you’re an adult that wants to watch strangers fuck on your phone, then buy a VPN. Big deal. If you can’t afford/don’t want to pay $5 or whatever for it, then scan your DL. 

First they came for those who didn’t masturbate to internet porn and I did not speak out, because I did masturbate to internet porn
  • Author
7 hours ago, Eskimohorn said:

I find it absurd that states regulate the internet.

What's really absurd is that some people are trying to equate this with liquor laws.

Last time I looked at a liquor-oriented website (a few minutes ago) or went in a liquor store (sometime last year), I didn't see these big fucking notices that started out with:

"TEXAS HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES WARNING.”

And then stated that:

  • Buying alcohol leads to alcoholism which leads to spousal and child abuse
  • Consuming alcohol leads one to being raped and/or robbed.
  • Consuming alcohol leads to drunk driving which leads to the death of innocent families and children

Didn't see those notices anywhere on any liquor store websites, and didn't have to walk past signs in a liquor store stating that I was going to drink and then get behind the wheel and wipe out a family.

But if we look at a porn website on September 1, we get a big fucking notice that starts out with:

"TEXAS HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES WARNING.”

And then states the following:

  • “Pornography is potentially biologically addictive, is proven to harm human brain development, desensitizes brain reward circuits, increases conditioned responses, and weakens brain function.”
  • “Exposure to this content is associated with low self-esteem and body image, eating disorders, impaired brain development, and other emotional and mental illnesses.”
  • Pornography increases the demand for prostitution, child exploitation, and child pornography.

Which kind of tells you that this isn't about protecting children, but ultimately criminalizing porn, because the State of Texas is clearly stating that anybody viewing porn is mentally ill and prone to abusing women, gigolos, and children.

20 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

I don't know about anybody else, but having been "the computer guy" in the family, and having done a lot of tech support for my older relatives, I can think of at least 3-4 older relatives who are going to freak out over this when it kicks in.  I'm already picturing the requests I get, but they'll be worded so as not to mention "porn" just that "some sites I visit want my driver's license, I think I'm being hacked, can you help me?"

They're into Golden Girls cosplay porn?

Just wait until you try to order online from Velvet Taco next month. 

@immamac any word on the shaggysurlyvpn.clownpenis.fart vpn service?

Does this law apply to online escort services? Asking for Surly. 

15 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

"TEXAS HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES WARNING.”

And then states the following:

  • “Pornography is potentially biologically addictive, is proven to harm human brain development, desensitizes brain reward circuits, increases conditioned responses, and weakens brain function.”
  • “Exposure to this content is associated with low self-esteem and body image, eating disorders, impaired brain development, and other emotional and mental illnesses.”
  • Pornography increases the demand for prostitution, child exploitation, and child pornography.

This reminds me of like Reefer Madness shit from the 30s.

I don't think porn is great for brain development and there are obviously people with addiction problems or who let it really negatively impact their life - but that disclaimer is such a hilarious overstatement on so many levels.

I mean, for starters, masturbating is good for you. Not as good as sex but there are plenty of health benefits. Is masturbating to the thought of fucking your married coworker healthier than just watching strangers have sex? 

Also - you aren't keeping teenagers from watching porn. It won't be difficult to get around the filter or whatever and 14 year old gen Zers will figure it out easily. 

  • Popular Post
1 hour ago, ztejas said:

This reminds me of like Reefer Madness shit from the 30s.

I don't think porn is great for brain development and there are obviously people with addiction problems or who let it really negatively impact their life - but that disclaimer is such a hilarious overstatement on so many levels.

I mean, for starters, masturbating is good for you. Not as good as sex but there are plenty of health benefits. Is masturbating to the thought of fucking your married coworker healthier than just watching strangers have sex? 

Also - you aren't keeping teenagers from watching porn. It won't be difficult to get around the filter or whatever and 14 year old gen Zers will figure it out easily. 

Well also the fact that zero of our recent "THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!!!!" laws have had fuck all to do with actually protecting children, and are simply culture war totems for pushing their christofascism.

 

The State of Texas doesn't give a shit about children. Foster care system and Uvalde out front shoulda told ya.

Edited by Captainant

5 minutes ago, Captainant said:

Well also the fact that zero of our recent "THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!!!!" laws have had fuck all to do with actually protecting children, and are simply culture war totems for pushing their christofascism.

 

The State of Texas doesn't give a shit about children. Foster care system and Uvalde out front shoulda told ya.

"Instead of watching porn, get your teenage girlfriend pregnant and then drive to Colorado for an abortion!"

  • Popular Post
1 hour ago, ztejas said:

This reminds me of like Reefer Madness shit from the 30s.

I don't think porn is great for brain development and there are obviously people with addiction problems or who let it really negatively impact their life - but that disclaimer is such a hilarious overstatement on so many levels.

I mean, for starters, masturbating is good for you. Not as good as sex but there are plenty of health benefits. Is masturbating to the thought of fucking your married coworker healthier than just watching strangers have sex? 

Also - you aren't keeping teenagers from watching porn. It won't be difficult to get around the filter or whatever and 14 year old gen Zers will figure it out easily. 

I mean, if there's one thing we know for 100% certain, it's the fact that if you don't have access to internet porn, teenage boys won't jerk off.

 

ih.ashx?row_guid=a99abc4f-9b8f-4563-ab37

Right?

  • 2 weeks later...
  • Author

https://www.kxan.com/news/texas/texas-interim-attorney-general-responds-to-lawsuit-over-age-verification-on-adult-websites/
 

Quote

The interim Attorney General of Texas, Angela Colmenero, issued a response to a lawsuit brought by a coalition of adult content producers over a new law that would require users of adult websites to transmit their legal identification to those websites.

Colmenero’s lengthy response, in excess of a 20-page limit, makes counterarguments to some of FSC’s claims.

Quote

The key counterargument by Colmenero is that the law, HB 1181, does not violate constitutional rights because the material is obscene, and some of the plaintiffs are foreign companies. 

It also argues that Texas has an interest in protecting children from online pornography that outweighs any material cost to FSC and the other plaintiffs. This appears to be a more animating factor for Colmenero, as it comprises the majority of the response’s introduction.

Quote

“Porn is absolutely terrible for our kids,” Colmenero writes, “They are “particularly susceptible” to porn because their brains are underdeveloped. Our kids may be more likely to emulate what they see in porn, even if it involves violence or coercion.”

How about parents stop letting tablets and smartphones babysit their kids and instead monitor what they do on the internet? And if you can’t monitor your kid on a device, don’t give the, the device in the first place.

Shocked No Way GIF by ABC Network

Quote

However, the reasoning behind a law does not solely shield it from legal action. 

FSC, in its motion for a preliminary injunction against enforcement of HB 1181, must show its lawsuit has the following:

  • a substantial likelihood of success on the merits;
  • a substantial threat that plaintiffs will suffer irreparable injury if the injunction is not granted;
  • that the threatened injury outweighs any damage that the injunction might cause the
  • defendant; and
  • that the injunction will not disserve the public interest.
Quote

For most of the points, Colmenero argues that the law is constitutional because it affects obscene speech, the speech of foreign entities and commercial speech, all of which are held to different standards compared to private citizens. She also states that the lawsuit is unlikely to succeed on 8th or 14th Amendment grounds.

“This is a First Amendment case, and Plaintiffs cannot make it,” Colmenero writes.

Quote

hearing on FSC’s motion for a preliminary injunction is scheduled for a Western District of Texas federal courtroom Wednesday.

 

  • Author
31 minutes ago, tx 3 putt said:

Angela seems like a huge Karen cunt 

A relative in his late 60s asked me a few days ago why it would matter if he simply uses his DL through the state's digital ID system when this kicks in.

I'm just like "You really sure you  want the State of Texas to know you're looking at porn sites?"

awkward kobe bryant GIF

Edited by atomheartbevo

I’ll give them my ID, then once a month I’ll search “respectful, missionary position, mature, using condoms, etc.”

But I’ll use a VPN when I’m actually watching the good stuff.

That way I’ll look like a gotdamn saint whenever someone inevitably figures out how to link IDs to what was watched. 

Edited by SquishMitten

5 minutes ago, SquishMitten said:

I’ll give them my ID, then once a month I’ll search “respectful, missionary position, mature, using condoms, etc.”

But I’ll use a VPN when I’m actually watching the good stuff.

That way I’ll look like a gotdamn saint whenever someone inevitably figures out how to link IDs to what was watched. 

Dana Carvey Nbc GIF

10 minutes ago, SquishMitten said:

I’ll give them my ID, then once a month I’ll search “respectful, missionary position, mature, using condoms, etc.”

You sick, sick, sick bastard.

  • Author
15 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

So is this really happening?  

Unless the federal court of the Western District of Texas sides with the companies next Wednesday, yes, a week from tomorrow it happens.  

My guess is that for now, the porn companies will simply block Texans while the court stuff plays out, so VPN will be it.

 The State of Texas will be actively looking for porn sites that don’t comply so that they can fine them/try to shut them down, so it’s just easier to block for now, rather than try and comply with the ID verification process.

If the companies lose the court case and subsequent cases, then larger ones will do the ID thing, smaller ones will just block with a message to use a VPN. Some companies are blocking the smaller states that currently have this law on their books, because it’s cheaper to give up the traffic rather than comply.

Edited by atomheartbevo

I just need to get copies of Abbott's and Patrick's drivers licenses. 

2 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Unless the federal court of the Western District of Texas sides with the companies next Wednesday, yes, a week from tomorrow it happens.  

My guess is that for now, the porn companies will simply block Texans while the court stuff plays out, so VPN will be it.

 The State of Texas will be actively looking for porn sites that don’t comply so that they can fine them/try to shut them down, so it’s just easier to block for now, rather than try and comply with the ID verification process.

If the companies lose the court case and subsequent cases, then larger ones will do the ID thing, smaller ones will just block with a message to use a VPN. Some companies are blocking the smaller states that currently have this law on their books, because it’s cheaper to give up the traffic rather than comply.

https://storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.uscourts.txwd.1172751222/gov.uscourts.txwd.1172751222.31.0.pdf

Im 30 miles from the Louisiana border, and when I turn off my home Wi-Fi here is the message.

3d632957e1442cc80a185e23fdc0b431.jpg

50 minutes ago, SquishMitten said:

I’ll give them my ID, then once a month I’ll search “respectful, missionary position, mature, using condoms, etc.”

But I’ll use a VPN when I’m actually watching the good stuff.

That way I’ll look like a gotdamn saint whenever someone inevitably figures out how to link IDs to what was watched. 

Or you can just go to the adult video megaplex. I think this law was written by Big Brick and Mortar Porn.  

2 minutes ago, BearSchlong said:

Im 30 miles from the Louisiana border, and when I turn off my home Wi-Fi here is the message.

3d632957e1442cc80a185e23fdc0b431.jpg

did you have to upload a pic of your bear schlong?

1 minute ago, Boss Hogg said:

Or you can just go to the adult video megaplex. I think this law was written by Big Brick and Mortar Porn.  

DVDs don't fit in my phone. 

  • Author
6 minutes ago, BearSchlong said:

Im 30 miles from the Louisiana border, and when I turn off my home Wi-Fi here is the message.

3d632957e1442cc80a185e23fdc0b431.jpg

“We guarantee that Pornhub does not collect any data during this process.”

But the state of Louisiana Texas…..

On 8/13/2023 at 4:59 AM, Boss Hogg said:

But it’s nice to see that there’s some hoops to jump through for underage kids to watch porn. There’s zero positives to unfettered access to pornography for teens. Unless you can name one?

Since this law is not yet in effect, do your kids currently have unfettered access to porn with zero hoops to jump through? As their parent, if it’s important to you to restrict that (which it should be), then you have plenty of options available.

Also, I hate to break it to you, but if teenagers want to look at porn, they’re going to look at porn. They’ll probably get a VPN of their own or simply upload your driver’s license to Pornhub when you aren’t paying attention. Good luck with that.

9 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

Im 30 miles from the Louisiana border, and when I turn off my home Wi-Fi here is the message.

3d632957e1442cc80a185e23fdc0b431.jpg

Spankbang and xhamster are there for you.

10 hours ago, wild_turkey said:

Since this law is not yet in effect, do your kids currently have unfettered access to porn with zero hoops to jump through? As their parent, if it’s important to you to restrict that (which it should be), then you have plenty of options available.

 

Already been asked and answered. 
 

10 hours ago, wild_turkey said:

Also, I hate to break it to you, but if teenagers want to look at porn, they’re going to look at porn.

If teenagers want to (fill in the blank), they’re going to (fill in the blank). 
 

Anyway, get your Freedom faps in now gentlemen. 7 days and counting.

 

27 minutes ago, UTGrad98 said:

You could always have sex with your wives. 

married-with-children-al-bundy.gif

  • Popular Post
38 minutes ago, UTGrad98 said:

You could always have sex with your wives. 

A husband and wife are in their living room, husband is reading the paper while his wife is reading the latest edition of Cosmopolitan magazine.  Wife looks over at hubby and says "Dear, this article says to improve our marriage you should share your deepest, most intimate sexual fantasies with me."  Husband looks over his paper at the wife and replies, "Why the hell would I do that?  You aren't in any of them."

Edited by Fudge Nuggets

18 hours ago, UTGrad98 said:

You could always have sex with your wives. 

cdc.jpg

I have my late fathers driver’s license.  I think it’s still valid.  Considering using that.  Thanks pop!

  • Author
5 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

I have my late fathers driver’s license.  I think it’s still valid.  Considering using that.  Thanks pop!

That is very awesome, but if discovered, I expect that a major campaign issue in 2024 is that dead people are looking at porn.

well they need to be saved!!!

19 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

That is very awesome, but if discovered, I expect that a major campaign issue in 2024 is that dead people are looking at porn.

Obviously means we have to purge the porn rolls!

Obviously means we have to purge the porn rolls!

“Why were you in the bathroom so long?”
“I was just purging my porn roll!”
20 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

That is very awesome, but if discovered, I expect that a major campaign issue in 2024 is that dead people are looking at porn.

Coming to Freedomstan- Dead People Looking At Porn Moral Panic. Freedomstan solution- Voice Verification for porn viewing

  • Author
1 hour ago, Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand said:

Voice Verification for porn viewing

There’s an AI for that

Think Tap Tap GIF by DraftKings

I’m already prompted to Sign in as a performer when I get to Hub if I’m not on Wi-Fi. It somehow thinks I’m in Utah apparently. 

8 hours ago, Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand said:

Get on yer knees Texans. Suck that Cuban Cruz cock. Suck that Maryland Dan Patrick cock. Suck that (weirdly, Maryland again) Chip Roy cock.

 

IMG_7914.gif

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