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Featured Replies

She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something. I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention. 

The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old-fashioned, romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her.

That's a special feeling, Lloyd.

5 hours ago, Parliament said:

 Life's a fragile thing, Harry.

he says “Hare” not “Harry.”  have you even seen the movie?  fucking idiot. 

That’s as good as money. Every cent’s accounted for. These are IOUs. Better hang on to that one - $275,000 for the car!

8 hours ago, longhornmatt said:

That John Denver’s full of shit, man!

Here, maybe you should wear these extra gloves.  My hands are getting kinda sweaty.

Yeah, we're in the Rockies.

 

Edited by Al_4_ISU

Skis huh?  They yours?

 

Both of 'em?

14 minutes ago, BehoId, The Underminer! said:

the elderly, while slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose!

Don't you go dying on me!

Husband??  What was all that one-in-a-million talk? 

You sold my headless parakeet to a blind kid?

Harry; I took care of it.

Not bad, fell off the jetway again

I just figured she was a raging alcoholic.

Lobby bar, right there in the lobby

I almost pissed my pants in the theater 

that crow hop

image.gif.967f65c83575dd8e2f269b541f5a128d.gif

Hmm that John Denver’s full of shit man.

No, the best part is the catch with them a half mile down the road and slight their throats. Yeah, it was a good one.

Good timing.  30 min ago got these two texts from my brothers on our little group text chain.  
 

Bro 1 

Quote

Panicked for a moment because I thought i had a Dumb and Dumber moment. Taking a brutal dump at an office that don't frequent often and felt as though a courtesy flush was warranted. I reach behind and press the lever and ... nothing. So I rapidly press again and again. Nothing. 

Sweat begins to bead up -- partly due to panic, partly due to overwhelming stench. Finally - engagement. For some reason these's a 2-second delay in button pressing and flush. Strange engineering. 

Bro 2

Quote

Wow.  "I'M SHAVING!"

 

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