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Featured Replies

1 hour ago, Biff Tannen said:

MY GOD fuck the offseason.

Throw Up Dumb And Dumber Jim Carrey GIF | GIFDB.com

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  • Born Burnt
    Born Burnt

    Sorry you live in a trailer park.

  • Daichee Bell
    Daichee Bell

    Had a buddy at a practice recently.  Nothing earth shattering here, so take it for what it's worth.  He didn't recall any first team drop.  There may have been some, but none that came to mind. 

  • closetojumping
    closetojumping

    A guy that played for years in the NFL was at practice yesterday. His takeaway was that if this team isn’t a playoff contender and conference winner, it took effort to fuck it up on gameday. 

Posted Images

I caught some of the replay of the Baylor game on LHN the other night, and it Satya'd me like a bucket of ice water. Ewers had that disastrous fumble TD that put us down in the fourth quarter and from that point forward, they didn't let him throw the ball again. Bijan and Roschon ran it straight up their ass. The defense got a turnover and that was that. As bullish as I am on this team, Ewers is still a huge unknown. 

If you’re going to watch a single game from last season to try to extrapolate what the team will look like - bad idea in general - it’s the bowl game.
8 hours ago, conVINCEd said:

It’s a good thing we have depth in the secondary, because he’s gonna have to sit out a few halves for targeting with the Bg 12 refs doing their thing this year.

That may be the trick to keeping him healthy. 

3 hours ago, closetojumping said:

LOL at the people discussing Catalon getting drafted. I have been inside a War Room for an NFL team on draft day. It's fascinating. They had one column of prospects labeled as "X-Files". I asked what that meant. For them, it was to bucket highly talented guys that they decided they could not draft due to varying types of risk, with injuries being a leader. Catalon will be listed in every team's similar type of column. Someone might draft him late in order to prevent losing him in the UFA market, but that's going to be it. If he has an amazing, balls to the wall, AA season where he's taking over games, I still think most teams would be very leery of drafting him.

Why even make a list of guys if they're not even under consideration? Just seems like a waste of time and kind of mean

  • Popular Post
5 hours ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

I caught some of the replay of the Baylor game on LHN the other night, and it Satya'd me like a bucket of ice water. Ewers had that disastrous fumble TD that put us down in the fourth quarter and from that point forward, they didn't let him throw the ball again. Bijan and Roschon ran it straight up their ass. The defense got a turnover and that was that. As bullish as I am on this team, Ewers is still a huge unknown. 

Had a buddy at a practice recently.  Nothing earth shattering here, so take it for what it's worth. 

He didn't recall any first team drop.  There may have been some, but none that came to mind.  1's on 1's  - Defense was beaten for the most part, but looks to have had some pressure on Quinn at times.  It's always hard to tell if the play would have been disrupted.  Quinn threw it anyway.  Made a few throws that drew applause. He looks smaller but more fit.   2s on 2s were back and forth pretty even.  3s were kinda all over.  Malik and Arch both with good throws, but not as consistent.  Both drops and some misses.

When AD catches the ball, fairy dust and rose petals poof into the air.  There's no sound.  By contrast, Cain caught everything, but with the occasional audible  thud.  X is really, really fast underneath.  He's still slight, but looks a bit bigger. Whittington caught a ton of balls. 

Brooks looked good.  Baxter turned a corner so fast, everyone assumed it was Brooks.  It was not.  Baxter is big and fast.  

Neyor with Mitchell is going to be a problem.  Could be BS, but Neyor's post surgery vert is over 40 inches. 

Murphy is a brick wall.  Has pop, and just is solid. Mitchell is huge.  Sweat looks athletic. Like, definitely beating CTJ athletic. 

Kickers were booting it - far and accurate with no pressure. 

Catalon was running with the 3s, which is consistent with what the 9.95s have said.   That's all I can remember from him offhand. 

Edited by Daichee Bell

37 minutes ago, Daichee Bell said:

Had a buddy at a practice recently.  Nothing earth shattering here, so take it for what it's worth. 

He didn't recall any first team drop.  There may have been some, but none that came to mind.  1's on 1's Defense was beaten for the most part, but looks to have some pressure on Quinn at times.  It's always hard to tell if the play would have been disrupted.  Quinn threw it anyway.  Made a few throws that drew applause. He looks smaller but more fit.   2s on 2s were back and forth pretty even.  3s were kinda all over.  Malik and Arch both with good throws, but not as consistent. 

When AD catches the ball, fairy dust and rose petals poof into the air.  There's no sound.  By contract, Cain caught everything, but with the occasional audible  thud.  X is really, really fast underneath.  He's still slight, but looks a bit bigger. Whittington caught a ton of balls. 

Brooks looked good.  Baxter turned a corner so fast, everyone assumed it was Brooks.  It was not.  Baxter is big and fast.  

Neyor with Mitchell is going to be a problem.  Could be BS, but Neyor's post surgery vert is over 40 inches. 

Murphy is a brick wall.  Has pop, and just is solid. Mitchell is huge.  Sweat looks athletic. Like, definitely beating CTJ athletic. 

Kickers were booting is far and accurate with no pressure. 

Catalon was running with the 3s, which is consistent with what the 9.95s have said.   That's all I can remember from him offhand. 

shut up and take my money GIF by Product Hunt

1 hour ago, gmr548 said:


If you’re going to watch a single game from last season to try to extrapolate what the team will look like - bad idea in general - it’s the bowl game.

Schematically I think that is right. We have a metric shit ton more weapons than we had in that bowl game though. 

  • Popular Post
1 hour ago, Daichee Bell said:

Had a buddy at a practice ...  "Murphy is a brick wall.  Has pop, and just is solid. Mitchell is huge.  Sweat looks athletic. Like, definitely beating CTJ athletic." 

 

giphy.gif

6 hours ago, kevwun said:

Safety is the last place you want someone with injury issues.

Dude, safety is literally the position name. One cannot get any safer than that.

6 hours ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

I caught some of the replay of the Baylor game on LHN the other night, and it Satya'd me like a bucket of ice water. Ewers had that disastrous fumble TD that put us down in the fourth quarter and from that point forward, they didn't let him throw the ball again. Bijan and Roschon ran it straight up their ass. The defense got a turnover and that was that. As bullish as I am on this team, Ewers is still a huge unknown. 

This is where I am. Couldn’t believe the list posted recently that had him as a top 20 player in the nation. That shit is ridiculous.

Talent? Sure. Headcase? Possibly.

7 hours ago, Longhornlove said:

He said in his own words in a press conference a few weeks ago that maybe he should have played safety.

0659b050-b424-4d3f-a50b-629e22f1b8f7_tex

Had a buddy at a practice recently.  Nothing earth shattering here, so take it for what it's worth. 
He didn't recall any first team drop.  There may have been some, but none that came to mind.  1's on 1's  - Defense was beaten for the most part, but looks to have had some pressure on Quinn at times.  It's always hard to tell if the play would have been disrupted.  Quinn threw it anyway.  Made a few throws that drew applause. He looks smaller but more fit.   2s on 2s were back and forth pretty even.  3s were kinda all over.  Malik and Arch both with good throws, but not as consistent.  Both drops and some misses.
When AD catches the ball, fairy dust and rose petals poof into the air.  There's no sound.  By contrast, Cain caught everything, but with the occasional audible  thud.  X is really, really fast underneath.  He's still slight, but looks a bit bigger. Whittington caught a ton of balls. 
Brooks looked good.  Baxter turned a corner so fast, everyone assumed it was Brooks.  It was not.  Baxter is big and fast.  
Neyor with Mitchell is going to be a problem.  Could be BS, but Neyor's post surgery vert is over 40 inches. 
Murphy is a brick wall.  Has pop, and just is solid. Mitchell is huge.  Sweat looks athletic. Like, definitely beating CTJ athletic. 
Kickers were booting it - far and accurate with no pressure. 
Catalon was running with the 3s, which is consistent with what the 9.95s have said.   That's all I can remember from him offhand. 
I may be alone in this and I
Understand if I am, but I would rather Quinn (or whoever is QB) throw the fuckin ball and let whatever happens happen instead of taking a sack or throwing out of bounds. Once again, it's just me.
  • Popular Post
8 minutes ago, ousux said:

I may be alone in this and I
Understand if I am, but I would rather Quinn (or whoever is QB) throw the fuckin ball and let whatever happens happen instead of taking a sack or throwing out of bounds. Once again, it's just me.

Retaliate Sesame Street GIF by Muppet Wiki

8 minutes ago, ousux said:

I may be alone in this and I
Understand if I am, but I would rather Quinn (or whoever is QB) throw the fuckin ball and let whatever happens happen instead of taking a sack or throwing out of bounds. Once again, it's just me.

Knowing when to take a sack or throw out of bounds is a pretty good indicator of a smart, mature QB. I hope it’s just you, and I hope you’re never hired as our QB coach.

Knowing when to take a sack or throw out of bounds is a pretty good indicator of a smart, mature QB. I hope it’s just you, and I hope you’re never hired as our QB coach.
Chance of that is near zero since I'm not in the coaching game, but I think our WR room is good enough to let whatever happens happen.
2 minutes ago, ousux said:
5 minutes ago, Coelenterate Fuccboi said:
Knowing when to take a sack or throw out of bounds is a pretty good indicator of a smart, mature QB. I hope it’s just you, and I hope you’re never hired as our QB coach.

Chance of that is near zero since I'm not in the coaching game, but I think our WR room is good enough to let whatever happens happen.

ousux WR coaching handbook: Go Deep

ousux WR coaching handbook: Go Deep
If it results in a completion for one yard, sure. This year is do or die, not everyone gets that, but I do.

Yeah so just close your eyes and fucking wing it 

1 hour ago, ousux said:

I may be alone in this and I
Understand if I am, but I would rather Quinn (or whoever is QB) throw the fuckin ball and let whatever happens happen instead of taking a sack or throwing out of bounds. Once again, it's just me.

football-fire-that-pig-skin.gif

46 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

football-fire-that-pig-skin.gif

I . Don’t. Want. Your. Loffff.

Edited by Vito Andolini

10 hours ago, closetojumping said:

LOL at the people discussing Catalon getting drafted. I have been inside a War Room for an NFL team on draft day.

I always knew CTJ was Cal McNair.

4 hours ago, ousux said:
4 hours ago, Coelenterate Fuccboi said:
Knowing when to take a sack or throw out of bounds is a pretty good indicator of a smart, mature QB. I hope it’s just you, and I hope you’re never hired as our QB coach.

Chance of that is near zero since I'm not in the coaching game, but I think our WR room is good enough to let whatever happens happen.

When our QB's TD:INT ratio is 1:1, you'll change your tune. 

5 hours ago, ousux said:

If it results in a completion for one yard, sure. 

Thanks, Greg!!!

12 hours ago, Daichee Bell said:

Had a buddy at a practice recently.  Nothing earth shattering here, so take it for what it's worth. 

He didn't recall any first team drop.  There may have been some, but none that came to mind.  1's on 1's  - Defense was beaten for the most part, but looks to have had some pressure on Quinn at times.  It's always hard to tell if the play would have been disrupted.  Quinn threw it anyway.  Made a few throws that drew applause. He looks smaller but more fit.   2s on 2s were back and forth pretty even.  3s were kinda all over.  Malik and Arch both with good throws, but not as consistent.  Both drops and some misses.

When AD catches the ball, fairy dust and rose petals poof into the air.  There's no sound.  By contrast, Cain caught everything, but with the occasional audible  thud.  X is really, really fast underneath.  He's still slight, but looks a bit bigger. Whittington caught a ton of balls. 

Brooks looked good.  Baxter turned a corner so fast, everyone assumed it was Brooks.  It was not.  Baxter is big and fast.  

Neyor with Mitchell is going to be a problem.  Could be BS, but Neyor's post surgery vert is over 40 inches. 

Murphy is a brick wall.  Has pop, and just is solid. Mitchell is huge.  Sweat looks athletic. Like, definitely beating CTJ athletic. 

Kickers were booting it - far and accurate with no pressure. 

Catalon was running with the 3s, which is consistent with what the 9.95s have said.   That's all I can remember from him offhand. 

Wonderful so our defense sucks.  Doomed 

15 hours ago, closetojumping said:

LOL at the people discussing Catalon getting drafted. I have been inside a War Room for an NFL team on draft day. It's fascinating. They had one column of prospects labeled as "X-Files". I asked what that meant. For them, it was to bucket highly talented guys that they decided they could not draft due to varying types of risk, with injuries being a leader. Catalon will be listed in every team's similar type of column. Someone might draft him late in order to prevent losing him in the UFA market, but that's going to be it. If he has an amazing, balls to the wall, AA season where he's taking over games, I still think most teams would be very leery of drafting him.

I haven't read anything from that voluminously banal rube in years and haven't missed a single pertinent thing regarding Texas as a consequence of it.

Your defending of Ian Boyd on this thread today is as insipid as most of the shit he publishes. Please stop.

I have the same list of ex files.  So this hits home 

5 minutes ago, Sgt Hulk said:

Wonderful so our defense sucks.  Doomed 

We should all still have concerns about it until they prove otherwise. 

7 hours ago, Coelenterate Fuccboi said:

ousux WR coaching handbook: Go Deep

 

7 hours ago, Foosters said:

Yeah so just close your eyes and fucking wing it 

This reminds of the old Rex Grossman meme from one of the original college sports blogger sites: Fuck it, I’m going deep. 

5 hours ago, Schulz2.0 said:

I always knew CTJ was Cal McNair.

One of my boys and one of his are the same age and wind up playing each other in all stars and select pretty regularly. That is one goofy, lonely dude. 

13 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

 

This reminds of the old Rex Grossman meme from one of the original college sports blogger sites: Fuck it, I’m going deep. 

One of my boys and one of his are the same age and wind up playing each other in all stars and select pretty regularly. That is one goofy, lonely dude. 

Kissing Suzy Kolber, back when Drew Magary was funny.

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1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

 

This reminds of the old Rex Grossman meme from one of the original college sports blogger sites: Fuck it, I’m going deep. 

One of my boys and one of his are the same age and wind up playing each other in all stars and select pretty regularly. That is one goofy, lonely dude. 

 

52 minutes ago, texifornia said:

Kissing Suzy Kolber, back when Drew Magary was funny.

https://kissingsuzykolber.wordpress.com/2006/11/27/f-k-it-im-throwing-it-downfield/

It still delivers.

 

Quote

F–k It. I’m Throwing It Downfield.

grossmanwk14.jpg
Is that Berrian? I think he’s triple-covered. You know what? Fuck it. I’m throwing it downfield.

Yeah, I see Jones open on the flank. But fuck that. Dumpoff passes are for faggots. I’m fucking Sexy Rexy Grossman. I can get that ball in there. And, even if I can’t, I bet I’ll be able to pull it off the next go round. I like throwing the ball long. It makes my dick hard.

What’s that? I should throw a quick slant? Fuck that. That’s gay. Button hook? Gay. Flare out? Gay. Screen pass? Kevin Spacey gay. This is fucking football. You can’t just expect wins to come to you. You can’t massage that shit. You gotta grab that game by the throat and rape the ever-loving shit out of it. You think a 5-yard out is gonna win you a game? You’re a pussy. This ain’t John Shoop running this offense. Sexy Rexy’s got the arm. The dragon. You gotta unleash the dragon.

Okay, I’m throwing it. Nice. Look how far it went. I look good. I bet I made that Pats cheerleader wet her panties with that throw. She fucking wants me. I bet she likes it over a stair railing. I can hit that with 100% accuracy, my dear. Mmmmmm. I am delicious.

Oh shit. Looks like Samuel caught it. Again. Oh well. It still felt fucking great to throw that shit. Tell me that wasn’t one of the prettiest passes you ever saw. You know what? Not only am I gonna throw it long the next time we hit the field. I’m gonna throw it even longer. Harder. You see that kid in wheelchair sitting in the end zone bleachers? I’m gonna nail him right between the fucking eyes with a Sexy Rexy fastball. Why? Because I can.

This is Rex Grossman we’re talking about here. We’re talking 210 lbs. of twisted steel and sex appeal. I’m not just a gunslinger. I’m a cumslinger. Throwing that ball long tells all the Rexettes that I am fucking out there. On the edge. Where I gotta be. The ladies love the danger. The unpredictability. Oh, maybe I’ll tease them with a pretty touch pass every now and again. But then I’m gonna go right back to pumping that ball out for all it’s worth. It tells them I throw like I fuck. That’s how we do things in the sexy business.

Tell me you’re not turned on right now. I am.

 

3 minutes ago, perfectchaos007 said:

The emblem still makes me chuckle 

image.jpeg.709ceeb53b60f2f06964083f36095c9e.jpeg

That's amazing. @ousux should make this his avatar, or have this made as his avatar regardless of his personal feelings. 

30 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

This is Rex Grossman we’re talking about here. We’re talking 210 lbs. of twisted steel and sex appeal. I’m not just a gunslinger. I’m a cumslinger. Throwing that ball long tells all the Rexettes that I am fucking out there. On the edge. Where I gotta be. The ladies love the danger. The unpredictability. Oh, maybe I’ll tease them with a pretty touch pass every now and again. But then I’m gonna go right back to pumping that ball out for all it’s worth. It tells them I throw like I fuck. That’s how we do things in the sexy business.

Tell me you’re not turned on right now. I am.

lol

36 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

That is one goofy, lonely dude. 

But Hannah!  

Edited by Lat22

Ewers in trouble, Ewers scrambles and tosses a long bomb!!! 

Nfl Interception GIF by Seattle Seahawks
 

Lulz. This is why surly is awesome, there’s an endless amount of misdirection opinions that will keep you baffled. I have tossed out a few head scratchers myself. I hope Ewers has come far enough along that he doesn’t just toss shit up to see what will happen when he’s in duress. If he takes chances I hope they are at least completable balls that take an arm talent like he has to complete. If we see him just chucking shit up every time he’s in trouble then as ole man bun would say, light them cigarettes boys. 

15 minutes ago, Lat22 said:

But Hannah!  

I'd like to know why/how a statement made by CTJ ended up in your post as showing quoted by me. I did not call Cal McNair a goofy, lonel dude. We all know if I'd something something like that there would have been profanity used. 

9 hours ago, ousux said:

I may be alone in this and I
Understand if I am, but I would rather Quinn (or whoever is QB) throw the fuckin ball and let whatever happens happen instead of taking a sack or throwing out of bounds. Once again, it's just me.

Umm, no. Did you watch last year? 3 of the 4 starters are the same. It felt like Texas was something like 0 for 50 on 50/50 balls last year. Mitchell should improve that, but not to the point you blindly throw it up for grabs

Edited by Codaxx

  • Popular Post
That's amazing. [mention=411]ousux[/mention] should make this his avatar, or have this made as his avatar regardless of his personal feelings. 
Done, you're welcome
Umm, no. Did you watch last year? 3 of the 4 starters are the same. It felt like Texas was something like 0 for 50 on 50/50 balls last year. Mitchell should improve that, but not to the point you blindly throw it up for grabs
If Quinn is slightly more accurate and X is better at tracking and effort this year the results will be much better. The good news is we have AD and Neyor now, Worthy was never the best at being a deep threat.
  • Popular Post

"Three things can happen when you throw the ball... and all of them are good." -- OUSUX

57 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:
Spoiler

Rexstacy Wants To Fulfill Your Fantasies

I made the championship of my fantasy league this year. In my five or so years of playing fantasy, I’ve never even made the playoffs, let alone the championship. This win will finally validate my razor-sharp football acumen, so there’s a lot of fucking pride at stake here. And who might be my starting quarterback for this monumental encounter? You guessed it:


The Sex Cannon himself. Now I know what you’re thinking: how the fuck did you reach the championship game with that asshole as your starting QB? Suffice it to say, my roster is deep enough that I can bench the Cumslinger when necessary or make up for those days when Rex wants to impress the ladies by showing he can win a game without even touching the ball. Anyway, Rex has a good matchup against the woeful Lions this weekend, so I’m taking the gamble and suiting him up. I asked him yesterday how he felt going into this all-or-nothing contest:

“We have a game Sunday? Fuck, I didn’t even know. They don’t tell me when the games are played. I just run out onto the field and start aiming lasers for fucking Saturn, you know what I mean? If there’s a defense there, whatever. Sexy Rexy is more than happy to spray hot passes all over the defense’s chest. Who are we playing? The Lions? Pfft. Those guys aren’t sexy. You telling me Jon Kitna is sexy? I’ve seen white supremacists in prison who are sexier than that do-gooder. No wonder he’s a devout Christian. What kind of pussy would he pull on the open market? Dumpster pussy, that’s what.

What’s that color the Lions wear? Honolulu Blue? Yeah, well I nailed six Hawaiian Tropic girls last week. So while those assholes are busy wearing Honolulu, I’m busy fucking it. Wore my mesh practice top the whole time, too. And in front of a mirror. Ever stick your finger up your own ass? God, it just felt so right.

Jesus, now that you told me I’m playing Detroit, I’m all fucking hot. God dammit. I gotta go throw something. Now. I just… I just can’t take the anticipation. It’s driving me buc wild. Such a depleted secondary. So many long, long throws. You know I accidentally fucked Olin Kreuntz once? True story. 

So, you play fantasy football? That’s funny. Because I am fantasy football. Girls watch me throw and they ovulate. It’s just the way I move. So poised. So strong. So fluid. They know I’m undressing the defense with my arm. Oh, Daddy says that Rex Grossman is up to no good. And you know what, honey? Your daddy is right. I am thinking nasty, nasty thoughts when I’m out there. I throw that ball sixty yards, and I just wanna ram a stick of butter up some girl’s ass. I can’t help it. Football and sex just go together for me. It’s a natural fit, just like any girl is a natural fit on me.

Hope you win, kid. Either way, Rex is fucking that night.”

Needless to say, I’m in good hands.


 

Holy mother of mercy there’s one more about Rex and it’s gold. 

https://www.on3.com/pro/news/philadelphia-eagles-defensive-lineman-moro-ojomo-head-neck-injury-preseason/?fbclid=IwAR0osAAMNGJZptvXuz_4KWk-7_Ezqp85yCT13S-U5D6PuwPOTJ4Mtuer1XE_aem_AVN3i-e5CGZFR9fukuIyUcYQqztLWEfSCkSCY6C-r5eO2jyJ6TiFA3VI3nm-2MsOb44&mibextid=Zxz2cZ

Ojomo left the field on a stretcher with a neck injury.  Hopefully he can recover quickly.   He was able to move everything later.  

Edited by Hook1997

Just now, Hookem2147 said:

Burton called out Jett Bush as a ‘glue guy’ and someone he hears some buzz on behind the scenes. He didn’t name his source but it has to be @BurntOrange&White.

Seriously though. Does IT have some kind of NIL deal with that guy? They seem to always mention him.

3 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

Seriously though. Does IT have some kind of NIL deal with that guy? They seem to always mention him.

You’re telling me your dream defense isn’t Michael Taaffe at safety with Bush at LB, Zac Swanson at DT and Burke rushing the passer?

Edited by Hookem2147

Just now, Hookem2147 said:

You’re telling me your dream defense isn’t Michael Taaffe at safety with Bush at LB, Zac Swanson at DT and Burke rushing the passer?

Burke doesn't bother me.....

Should have gone with SGW! 

Otherwise:

Season 3 Leave GIF by Martin

8 minutes ago, Hookem2147 said:

Burton called out Jett Bush as a ‘glue guy’ and someone he hears some buzz on behind the scenes. He didn’t name his source but it has to be @BurntOrange&White.

Bobby is great at what he does, which goes beyond just being a 9.95er, but he is also a fan. Feels like he has a couple guys that he likes to root for and Bush is definitely one of them. 

7 minutes ago, Hookem2147 said:

You’re telling me your dream defense isn’t Michael Taaffe at safety with Bush at LB, Zac Swanson at DT and Burke rushing the passer?

Don’t talk crap about Taaffe on this board you will get it!  Even if he takes terrible angles and misses tackles he should make.  

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