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Featured Replies

Brief summary, I’m afraid my team member is going to bail. 
 

We work on almost everything together. He’s a damned good worker, a content expert, collaborative, and just a good guy.

He’s a loyal guy, but he’s been passed over for the third time for a managerial position in our department. In the latest instance, our VP hired an external manager to come in and lead our team. It was a real BIL deal our VP made without any input. He didn’t get an interview or hear any feedback until the new hire was announced. 
 

He immediately requested a day off after the announcement. Our new manager is traveling to our office tomorrow and wanted to grab lunch. He declined. 
 

Basically, how do I keep him engaged and working? I think I could be more of a friend to him and ask him to lunch or a beer, but that only goes so far. Any words of wisdom I could share with him? 

  • Popular Post
2 minutes ago, billfromlaketravis said:

he’s been passed over for the third time for a managerial position in our department

He needs to get a new job. Staying makes it worse 

  • Author
5 minutes ago, Neonmoon said:

He needs to get a new job. Staying makes it worse 

I was afraid this would be the advice. But yeah, he needs to do what’s best for him. 

6 minutes ago, Neonmoon said:

He needs to get a new job. Staying makes it worse 

Yeah, don't be a blue falcon.  You should encourage him in whatever path he feels is best. 

17 minutes ago, billfromlaketravis said:

Brief summary, I’m afraid my team member is going to bail. 
 

We work on almost everything together. He’s a damned good worker, a content expert, collaborative, and just a good guy.

He’s a loyal guy, but he’s been passed over for the third time for a managerial position in our department. In the latest instance, our VP hired an external manager to come in and lead our team. It was a real BIL deal our VP made without any input. He didn’t get an interview or hear any feedback until the new hire was announced. 
 

He immediately requested a day off after the announcement. Our new manager is traveling to our office tomorrow and wanted to grab lunch. He declined. 
 

Basically, how do I keep him engaged and working? I think I could be more of a friend to him and ask him to lunch or a beer, but that only goes so far. Any words of wisdom I could share with him? 


I’d find a new job and ghost my old company. See how long I can double dip 

16 minutes ago, billfromlaketravis said:

Basically, how do I keep him engaged and working? 

Loyal and passed over 3x and you want him engaged and working? No. I’d say fuck off but I never interact with you and am being nice.

“hey we passed you up a third time. Would you want to work permanently remote and never show your face around here instead?”

Yea 3x is bad. Dude should bail, hell I feel spoiled now finally. I just got a mid year promotion which is pretty rare at my place and bitched out my tech sr director for not losing my ass on the announcement email. I’m also in Tampa and been drinking heavily so you probably shouldn’t listen to me though

this sounds like your new manager's problem

words of wisdom would not include "4th time is the charm buddy"

Edited by Celery Man

If you want to keep him it’s going to take monthly bonuses. No year long wait. Start now.

 

Similar thing happened to Mrs. Canecutter at a past job. She found a new one where she made more than the boss who wouldn't promote her.

Your work buddy will be gone, and rightfully so, after a 3x snub.

It's already been said, but you could be more of a friend by telling him you're sorry he got shit on (again) and that while it would hurt like hell if he left, that's probably what he should do.

Unless you have some pull with senior management to get him more money now...

I had something similar happen to me at my first job out of college. I was too young for them to give me a managerial position so they gave it to someone from the outside instead. Having to train my new boss who knew nothing at all about what we did, while also knowing that they were making quite a bit more money than me was completely deflating. I bounced.

You're about to double your workload with no added compensation monetarily. Heads up.

5 minutes ago, LonghornJones said:

You're about to double your workload with no added compensation monetarily. Heads up.

Yep. I have 2 sys admins on my team that handle until bullshit and they are happy. My boss asked what value they bring? Not much but they are my bullshit workers I love them

13 minutes ago, The Royal We said:

Having to train my new boss who knew nothing at all about what we did, while also knowing that they were making quite a bit more money than me was completely deflating. I bounced.

Several years ago we hired a new Director of Product Marketing.  There was a guy on the team that was totally passed over. He had experience, was really smart, well respected by the team and company, but the new boss hired his buddy into the role.

First meeting I'm in with the new Director, he's presenting something in front of his team, his boss, and an adjacent team (mine), and it sucks.  His boss (his buddy who hired him) said something about focusing on the 4 P's and giving a new readout in a week.

About 2 minutes later the guy who got passed over sends me a work IM saying the Director just sent him a note asking what the 4 P's were. Couldn't even bother to Google it before showing his ass to the most senior person on his team.

My friend spent about 2 months teaching the Director the basics of marketing before he left for something different.

15 hours ago, Neonmoon said:

He needs to get a new job.

Yep. He needs a new job, you need a new VP. He had an easier task ahead of him than you do.

 

15 hours ago, Neonmoon said:

He needs to get a new job. Staying makes it worse 

He should have been gone already.

30 minutes ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

Is his name Austin Millbarge?  

And to think his high school guidance counselor said he'd never amount to anything. 

I'll be the contrarian and say maybe he isn't management material.  Just because he was a superstar doer, that doesn't remotely make him qualified to manage a team doing that same work.  The first question that should be asked when someone wants to move into management is "why do you want to change careers?"  Most people just want to go into management for a pay raise and don't realize that what they did isn't what they'll be doing going forward. 


 

Edited by KYHorn

2 hours ago, CooterBrown said:

I'll be the contrarian and say maybe he isn't management material.  Just because he was a superstar doer, that doesn't remotely make him qualified to manage a team doing that same work.  The first question that should be asked when someone wants to move into management is "why do you want to change careers?"  Most people just want to go into management for a pay raise and don't realize that what they did isn't what they'll be doing going forward. 

I’ll also say… he didn’t leave the first two times he got passed over, maybe he’s just not the leaving type. I have an old coworker who was famously disgruntled and the constant topic of management discussions. Grouchy technical expert who is always on the cusp of quitting and.. I’ve been gone for 3 years and he’s still fucking there.

1 hour ago, UTPhil2006 said:

Wrong thread?

My bad

  • Author

We met at length with the new manager today. Hell, my coworker has a lot more in common with the manager than me. They talked about their kids for about 45 minutes while I looked at my watch. We chatted afterwards and he seems back in. If it comes organically, I’ll suggest he look around to accomplish his career goals.

My company does the gilded cage thing really well. Little upward mobility, but there’s: nearly automatic 4-5 % annual raises, they randomly increased our bonuses 5% across the board this year, flexible WFH schedule, and 9/80’s. 

9 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

Is his name Austin Millbarge?  

The Chinese were only using a simple polyphonetically grouped 20-square-digit key transposed in boustrophedonic form with multiple nulls. 

4 hours ago, Celery Man said:

I’ll also say… he didn’t leave the first two times he got passed over, maybe he’s just not the leaving type. I have an old coworker who was famously disgruntled and the constant topic of management discussions. Grouchy technical expert who is always on the cusp of quitting and.. I’ve been gone for 3 years and he’s still fucking there.

image.jpeg.1e74227ec7d38f0595ce4edf45cb333c.jpeg

23 hours ago, StassneyHorn said:

If you want to keep him it’s going to take monthly bonuses. No year long wait. Start now.

 

yeah. He’s gonna need money for the move.

A worker should reevaluate if they’ve expressed interest in being promoted, legitimately have the skills/experience, and get passed over 3x. Someone higher up thinks he doesn’t have it and never will.

2 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

 legitimately have the skills/experience

I've had many employees continually take technical training and balk at communication, team building, leadership training. When they do take that training, they half ass it and then wonder why they don't move to management jobs.  

Edited by CooterBrown

16 hours ago, Celery Man said:

I’ll also say… he didn’t leave the first two times he got passed over, maybe he’s just not the leaving type. I have an old coworker who was famously disgruntled and the constant topic of management discussions. Grouchy technical expert who is always on the cusp of quitting and.. I’ve been gone for 3 years and he’s still fucking there.

 

12 hours ago, billfromlaketravis said:

We met at length with the new manager today. Hell, my coworker has a lot more in common with the manager than me. They talked about their kids for about 45 minutes while I looked at my watch. We chatted afterwards and he seems back in. If it comes organically, I’ll suggest he look around to accomplish his career goals.

My company does the gilded cage thing really well. Little upward mobility, but there’s: nearly automatic 4-5 % annual raises, they randomly increased our bonuses 5% across the board this year, flexible WFH schedule, and 9/80’s. 

Kenan Thompson Snl GIF by Saturday Night Live

 

8 hours ago, CooterBrown said:

I've had many employees continually take technical training and balk at communication, team building, leadership training. When they do take that training, they half ass it and then wonder why they don't move to management jobs.  

Or even if someone goes off to leadership training, some think that the training alone is enough to be ready for promotions. You can definitely learn some good concepts, ideas or habits in a classroom setting but is that employee actually demonstrating or executing what they learned.

I’ve known more than my share of employees that skip large dept meetings, or hide in the back. They never volunteer to perform any task outside of their core responsibilities. They refuse to show any ability to lead others. Then when they’re passed over, they whine how they’re not given a chance.

they do nothing to give anyone a reason to promote them. And it’s cool to just do the minimum aka do what is asked of you. Just don’t expect upward movement.

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