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Featured Replies

19 hours ago, DixonHur said:

People who grunt/scream while lifting weights

 

Speaking of this, there is this guy who works out around the same time as me every day.  I've never seen him workout anything but his upper body.

But the thing that means I would never like him is that he is ALWAYS having a conversation (work related) through his airpods while working out.  And he paces around the entire gym in between sets talking and waving his hands around like he's closing billion dollar deals. 

Like dude, either schedule your workout for a different time or go sit down and finish your phone call. 

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1 hour ago, Bevo 3000 said:

People who complain about kids’ behavior on airplanes 

 

There's a line.  If you are talking about a baby, who doesn't understand and the air pressure changes are causing discomfort, I am very tolerant and sympathetic.

If you are letting your little shit kick the back of my seat over and over or run up and down the aisle or play their fucking video game out loud, Ima complain and you are going to hear it and you're the problem.

 

Thread title reminded me of this old Onion article

Area Man Has Asshole, Old Navy Written All Over Him

 
PublishedAugust 23, 2000
 
 
 

Image for article titled Area Man Has Asshole, Old Navy Written All Over Him

 
1 hour ago, Armybrat said:

Hey!

 

C6C09A5E-1F36-4938-8C51-8D14BD77B58F.jpeg

That's a damn fine dick-duster you had back in the day, brat.

  • Popular Post
43 minutes ago, irishtexan said:

That's a damn fine womb broom you had back in the day, brat.

Fify

“Naked guy” in the locker room. There’s always that guy. Most guys (including me) wrap a towel around themselves walking to and from the showers, and then get dressed pretty discreetly in front of their locker. 
But there’s always that one guy who throws his towel over his shoulder and struts around, trying to engage others in conversation. Drip dries while he shaves and does his hair in the sink area. 
Dude, put it away. We all have one and know what they look like. No one wants to see yours. 

3 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:


You like chicks smashing your balls with a tennis racket? Kinky.

Don't kink shame me you troglodyte

1 hour ago, nnm said:

“Naked guy” in the locker room. There’s always that guy. Most guys (including me) wrap a towel around themselves walking to and from the showers, and then get dressed pretty discreetly in front of their locker. 
But there’s always that one guy who throws his towel over his shoulder and struts around, trying to engage others in conversation. Drip dries while he shaves and does his hair in the sink area. 
Dude, put it away. We all have one and know what they look like. No one wants to see yours. 

So there’s a scale in the locker room and I’m ok to be naked to weigh myself, right?

On 8/4/2023 at 8:01 PM, slorch said:

They derive some sense of value from the Ford-Chevy argument

image.png.c78600b74ca6b502e93fd746c43816d1.png

^^^^^^^^^^^

exactly

If they are breathing that's a pretty good sign I won't like them.

I am pleasantly surprised on rare occasions.

People who have dog birthday parties... 

Bonus: people who have dog birthday parties with a dog photographer on hand

(Yup... seen someone do it)

6 hours ago, texasdago said:

People who have dog birthday parties... 

Bonus: people who have dog birthday parties with a dog photographer on hand

(Yup... seen someone do it)

I think it is pretty impressive that someone taught a dog to take pictures.

1 hour ago, Ogie Ogilthorpe said:

I think it is pretty impressive that someone taught a dog to take pictures.

Wait til you see what a squirrel can do on waterskis...

7 hours ago, texasdago said:

People who have dog birthday parties... 

Bonus: people who have dog birthday parties with a dog photographer on hand

(Yup... seen someone do it)

Well, it looks like you won't be getting an invite to the gender reveal party I'm having for my dog and her upcoming litter.

7 hours ago, texasdago said:

People who have dog birthday parties... 

Bonus: people who have dog birthday parties with a dog photographer on hand

(Yup... seen someone do it)

Overdone birthday parties. Proms. Homecomings, and everything else as a kid that has turn into Night at the Oscars.   Good fucking lord.

Order a pizza, make a cake, and invite 2-3 of the kid's friends over& call it good.

We are setting our kids up for a lot of fucking disappointment when they get to the real world.

Edited by slorch

Oh yeah.  Those and engagements too.

Everything is a gotdam production now.

They wear a different teams jersey to a football game than the two teams actually playing. 

2 hours ago, Ogie Ogilthorpe said:

I think it is pretty impressive that someone taught a dog to take pictures.

Wait til you see what a squirrel can do on waterskis...

I can't tell if I double posted from my phone but let's also remember the groups of usually mediocre ladies who like to rent open top buses and drive around Austin cranking terrible music.

People who feel the need to virtue signal needlessly. Kudos for you going save the little starving pygmy children. But you don't need to bring it up every day. And if the pygmies being grateful is not enough of a reward, then you did it for the wrong reasons. I ain't kissing your ass.

When you can smell they need to see a dentist.

People who post excessively to social media.

People with "In This House We Believe" signs in their yard

People who leave grocery carts in parking spaces instead of cart return

People who litter

People who do not take care of their homes and yards

Pit bull owners

Grown men who wear jerseys

 

14 hours ago, mooseoutfront said:

If they are breathing that's a pretty good sign I won't like them.

I am pleasantly surprised on rare occasions.

Just because you aren't breathing now doesn't mean all of a (please note it's not "the") sudden I like you now and am coming to your funeral

11 hours ago, texasdago said:

People who have dog birthday parties... 

My birthday is Friday.  As much as I prefer to just forget about it, my daughter will never let me.  This year I think I'm going to propose that I celebrate my birthday by taking a bunch of dog treats with me, my daughter, Sebastian, and her stupid chihuahua to the dog park.  I might as well spend my birthday with the only people I can really stand..... my daughter and a bunch of dogs.

Edited by NeverMarryAStripper

1 hour ago, Brothahorn said:

People who feel the need to virtue signal needlessly. Kudos for you going save the little starving pygmy children. But you don't need to bring it up every day. And if the pygmies being grateful is not enough of a reward, then you did it for the wrong reasons. I ain't kissing your ass.

You bastard. 
IMG_2905.jpeg.9ca98ab38bd96604f43452be9063cf8c.jpeg

2 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

You bastard. 
IMG_2905.jpeg.9ca98ab38bd96604f43452be9063cf8c.jpeg

Meanwhile off camera, the craft services crew is beating back waves of starving children with bamboo to keep them away from the cast and crew tables.

15 hours ago, mooseoutfront said:

If they are breathing that's a pretty good sign I won't like them.

I am pleasantly surprised on rare occasions.

why don't you move to Alaska or some shit where you don't have to deal with people then? Damn.

16 hours ago, mooseoutfront said:

If they are breathing that's a pretty good sign I won't like them.

I am pleasantly surprised on rare occasions.

theodore-kaczynski-ted-kaczynski.gif

37 minutes ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

why don't you move to Alaska or some shit where you don't have to deal with people then? Damn.

He’s got a loyal dog, a hot wife, and a methhead neighbor. What more could he ask?  

1 hour ago, Frank Drebin said:

Grown men who wear jerseys

Football jerseys?  100% agree.

Soccer jerseys?  Fight me.  

On 8/5/2023 at 9:42 AM, ABSR said:

OR someone who dogs don’t like.  

Always trust good dogs and small children on their judgement of people.

1 hour ago, texasdago said:

Football jerseys?  100% agree.

Soccer jerseys?  Fight me.  

But aren't they both really football jerseys?

39 minutes ago, DixonHur said:

But aren't they both really football jerseys?

I prefer calcio 

23 hours ago, Js1 said:

Speaking of this, there is this guy who works out around the same time as me every day.  I've never seen him workout anything but his upper body.

But the thing that means I would never like him is that he is ALWAYS having a conversation (work related) through his airpods while working out.  And he paces around the entire gym in between sets talking and waving his hands around like he's closing billion dollar deals. 

Like dude, either schedule your workout for a different time or go sit down and finish your phone call. 

Offer to spot him and then “forget”. 

19 hours ago, mooseoutfront said:

If they are breathing that's a pretty good sign I won't like them.

I am pleasantly surprised on rare occasions.

And this man chose the right place to live

7 hours ago, slorch said:

Oh yeah.  Those and engagements too.

Everything is a gotdam production now.

Cousin in law (if that’s a thing) is inviting 100 people to her baby shower. 

5 hours ago, Brothahorn said:

People who feel the need to virtue signal needlessly. Kudos for you going save the little starving pygmy children. But you don't need to bring it up every day. And if the pygmies being grateful is not enough of a reward, then you did it for the wrong reasons. I ain't kissing your ass.

People who use the term “virtue signaling”

2 hours ago, texasdago said:

Football jerseys?  100% agree.

Soccer jerseys?  Fight me.  

Um. They are the same. 

On 8/6/2023 at 6:24 PM, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:


What if it is a Mondale/Ferraro sticker?

Ban this CR dreamer for God's sake.

On 8/7/2023 at 12:45 PM, Armybrat said:

Just teasing you a bit. I don’t run around with stickers on my vehicles or fly any of “those” flags.

That is the official Texas Sesquicentennial Colt .45 from 1986. one of a thousand produced for collectors.
Took me almost 20 years to find one. 
I see nothing wrong with celebrating the Revolution and the pertinent “battle” such as it was.

And YOU PATRICIO...lay off AB lest I come to your door...late at night...never making a sound...right before I cropdust  your whole house...leaving everyone gagging and choking..cussing you for bringing this gaseous nightmare to reality...

Edited by SHOOTER12

Dude at Barking Springs who feels the need to play his mish mash of percussion right next to the wall.  I don't want to hear that stuff in BSP.
Guys who wrap their BMWs in gold wrap and then park in handicap spots.
Come and take it stickers especially those that replace the cannon with an AR-15
People who make their Texan identity about bitching about people from California.  There are great people from CA and terrible people from CA just like there are great people from TX and terrible people from TX.  Stop trying to blame a group of people.  
Old Austin whiners 
 

So you’ve recently relocated to Austin from California?
So there’s a scale in the locker room and I’m ok to be naked to weigh myself, right?

That towel weighs 3/4 of a pound, use some Jethro Bodine goesinta’s and factor that in.
1 hour ago, GoPokes83 said:


So you’ve recently relocated to Austin from California?

If by California you mean Houston...

  • Popular Post
On 8/7/2023 at 9:21 AM, nnm said:

Sunglasses worn backwards. With the lenses on the back of the head. 

Quoting myself to emphasize the point. 

 

On 8/7/2023 at 2:54 PM, Bevo 3000 said:

People who complain about kids’ behavior on airplanes 

 

Older people who never had kids, especially if theyve never been married. not necessarily that I won’t like these people, but it’s a yellow flag. Almost guaranteed to be very self centered. Never had to put anyone else ahead of themselves. 

It's not the kids, it's their shit head parents who make  their children everyone else's problem.

THAT'S selfish.

On 8/6/2023 at 9:13 PM, Gil Bang said:

 

Or wearing sunglasses on top of a baseball cap?

 

 

memes-gif-2.gif&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=50f648843

 

However, I never wear a cowboy hat indoors. Baseball hat indoors, depends. 

 

12 hours ago, Frank Drebin said:

 

Pit bull owners

 

 

This right here.

Nothing says "I am a mouth breathing knuckle dragger" like owning a Pit Bull.

Edited by Doze

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