August 23, 20232 yr Popular Post So hey, decades ago I put in 2 full-time years at a local private school, as well as years of adjunct teaching there even after I went full-time at a different place. I didn't expect to be vested in the pension plan, in fact their accountant didn't think I would be vested. And yet here sits a letter from their retirement firm way off in Illinois, that I, RDCanecutter, have 21,000+ dollars and 84 cents if I sign on the line which is dotted. From my pension of two years plus all the fritters that I guess count for 3 years total. I just turned 63 and would get the check in December. My immediate plan was to take the tax hit, convert the rest to 100 dollar bills, and let the hookers, blow, and leeching entourage begin. For some reason that got voted down by Wife of Canecutter, who said I'd roll it into an IRA or some shit. Well I don't want to. For one thing, that's boring. For another, what if the school's accountant is right, and I wasn't supposed to get it? Knowing me I'd figure out to get my tail in a crack spending a hunk of it, then Johnny Law comes lookin to claw it back and shoot my dog and repo my refrigerator. So even though Illinois Retirement Firm is flogging the lump sum bit, no doubt because they make bank shaving points off it, I still have options like getting it monthly for the rest of my life. A dribble of $140 a month for life gets me above the lump sum total in 13 years, and would be a free water bill or throwing axes or whatever. Plus, if this is some giant mistake, pretty easy to pay back a few months at 140. Then I actually read the paperwork, and it turned out if I pick the 100% Joint and Survivor Annuity, I'd get $117/month for life (still free money) then when I croak, my son finds out that I named him the beneficiary and HE gets 117/month for life until HE croaks, so if he lives even low-average lifespan me n him we got this thang beat. I am afraid to tell him though, because he may be tempted to murder me to get at the inheritance. Also, knowing he's a trust-fund baby may swell his head. To recap, free, unexpected, possibly not real micro-pension. I am partially looking for good advice but mostly want y'all to go Surly with it. Edited August 23, 20232 yr by RDCanecutter
August 23, 20232 yr Probably don't really have to worry too much about them trying to get it back. The pension firm would know better than the accountant, anyway. Congrats, friendo. Found money is always nice.
August 23, 20232 yr Author 1 minute ago, TwiceHorn said: Congrats, friendo. Found money is always nice. Knowing that I can just lie in bed and still make more than $3 a day, well, that may weaken my resolve.
August 23, 20232 yr Micro pension >>> micro penis Congrats on the found money! My very limited knowledge of Joint & Survivor is it usually only applies to spouses and not children? So I would just double check that. If you can name your son and add probably 20-something years to the expected payout (expect him to live 20-something years past you), then that option is a no-brainer, IMO. Edited August 23, 20232 yr by Redneck Mutha I spel like a kinder-gardener
August 23, 20232 yr Author 1 hour ago, Redneck Mutha said: My very limited knowledge of Joint & Survivor is it usually only applies to spouses and not children? I thought so too, but there's a whole page to fill out where I can pick a child instead of spouse, and another where wife says she's the spouse and she's cool with that, so I reckon it's legit. It was wife's idea anyway. The job was so far back that son was probably listed as my only heir on everything at the school, seeing as how I hadn't even met my current wife and had no interaction with son's mom. (telenovela life lives fast and wild.) Edited August 23, 20232 yr by RDCanecutter
August 23, 20232 yr Dude, you fucked this up the instant you mentioned it to your wife. Whatever you do now, can't right the ship but ... If hookers and blow are really off the table you could: 1. procure a selection of custom-made hatchets 2. have a baller weekend in Vegas 3. bet it all on black 4. buy all the tickets in an outfield section at a baseball game 5. get it in $1s and stuff a mattress with it 6. give it to me ( I won't tell my wife and will fully document how I properly waste it via liveposting on Surly) you get the point
August 23, 20232 yr Author 23 minutes ago, orange dream said: Dude, you fucked this up the instant you mentioned it to your wife. Whatever you do now, can't right the ship but ... If hookers and blow are really off the table you could: 1. procure a selection of custom-made hatchets 2. have a baller weekend in Vegas 3. bet it all on black 4. buy all the tickets in an outfield section at a baseball game 5. get it in $1s and stuff a mattress with it 6. give it to me ( I won't tell my wife and will fully document how I properly waste it via liveposting on Surly) you get the point FINALLY the guidance I need.
August 23, 20232 yr Probably oughta start bidding on this: https://bringatrailer.com/listing/1978-chevrolet-g20-van-2/
August 23, 20232 yr Author 43 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said: I'm sure the pussy that was plowed in that van was just as shaggy as the carpet Loosened up with dirt weed, Boone's Farm, and putting up with her favorite Hall and Oates 8-track.
August 24, 20232 yr On 8/23/2023 at 12:28 PM, That Guy said: Bunch of old ass people around here. Oh, like you should talk, Mr. Cryogenically Frozen for a Thousand Years While You Await a Cure for Boneitis.
August 24, 20232 yr You're a shark. Sharks are winners, and they don't look back because they have no necks. Necks are for sheep.
August 25, 20232 yr 3 minutes ago, That Guy said: You're a shark. Sharks are winners, and they don't look back because they have no necks. Necks are for sheep. Avatar checks out.
August 25, 20232 yr 4 hours ago, That Guy said: You're a shark. Sharks are winners, and they don't look back because they have no necks. Necks are for sheep.
August 25, 20232 yr On 8/23/2023 at 1:28 PM, That Guy said: Bunch of old ass people around here. Who are you calling ass people?
August 27, 20232 yr On 8/23/2023 at 1:28 PM, That Guy said: Bunch of old ass people around here. Where?
August 27, 20232 yr On 8/23/2023 at 4:07 PM, smuggs said: Probably oughta start bidding on this: https://bringatrailer.com/listing/1978-chevrolet-g20-van-2/ I had a realistical serious answer to go but this van is the real answer.
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