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San Antonio Spurs '23-'24: Hoops, Hype, Hair Dye

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It's amazing how much this team still fucking sucks 70 games into the season. 

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  • Mitch Cumsteen
    Mitch Cumsteen

    The December clouds were as grey as an extinguished fire. The cheers from earlier that night had long since faded as the Spurs completed a painful and unfathomable one win November.  The players and s

  • Radical Larry
    Radical Larry

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So, since the season is basically over it's time for some post-season anal-sis. 

Front office: What the fuck are you assholes doing? This team is dogshit. The veterans are/were dogshit, the players on the team sans Victor and Vassell are dogshit, and the "tank" is dogshit. This upcoming draft is also dogshit and you guys sold everyone on a tank after it became clear that you suck at your jobs. Fuck you. 

Coaching staff: Tonight's game is a clear indicator that the old man needs to go. Taylor Jenkins has taken a bunch of journeymen and NBA hopefuls and has them playing hard and smart. Then you've got our merry band of idiots, who have been making the same goddman mistakes all season and are progressively getting worse (except Victor). This team needs someone young and hungry, who can grow with the team and hold them accountable. Pop is fat, happy, and clearly does not have what it takes. These guys can't even throw an entry pass, constantly fuck up lobs, and refuse to peel off when Vic is trying to post up. Coaching? 

Players: Jesus Christ, these assholes suck. 

Sochan: I know @ztejas is going to disagree vehemtly, but I don't know where this guy falls on this team. He is a horrid shooter and getting worse. He constatnly falls down leaving his teammates to defend 4 on 5. He's not the defender he thinks he is although he's good at it. He fouls a lot. He can't pass, he can't lob, but he can back his man down into the paint and miss a layup. He'll have the spectacular play, but until he can shoot he's going to have a hard time on the offensive side of the ball. Did I mention he can't shoot? 

Wemby: I love you, please don't leave. 

Cedi: What can be said about this asshole that @ztejas hasn't already said a million times. I'll be glad when he's gone. 

Keldon: You are not the star. You are not the star. Pass the fucking ball, you are not the star. Also, you are the worst defender on the team, and Malaki is on this team. He shoots the Spurs out of games, he shoots them into games. Bad turnover here, bad shot there, bad defense everywhere. Hopefully he either accepts his role which should not be the Manu Ginobili of the team, of which he has zero talent to pull off, or gets traded in the offseason. I'll be sad to see him go because he's a beautiful kid with a great personality and does a lot for the city, but he's fucking this team up. 

Tre: He's a backup. For all the clamoring of him starting, I really don't think the season plays out any differently in terms of win/loss. He's improved as a shooter, which is nice. Tonight is a reminder of all his limitations when he's outplayed by Scottie Pippin's kid. 

Malaki: I've wasted too many words on this fucker already. Please leave. 

Julian: He won't be on the team next year, and if he is he'll be glued to the pine. If he is starting, see the Front Office paragraph about them sucking ass. 

Zach Collins: I think if we just put some hair gel at the top of the Frost Bank building in San Antonio and told Zach it was on the ledge, the the problem would take care of itself. 

Blake Wesley: I think he'll improve, but he still misses a shit-ton of layups. Can't shoot, but has gotten surprisingly better. 

Vassell: The one bright spot besides Vic. Defense sucks, but so does everyone elses (sans Vic) and he can shoot his ass off. Two man game with Vic is coming along. He's also continued to drive to the basket and has steadily improved there. Great passer. Love this kid. 

Mamu: Wish you had gotten more play, dude. Love your energy and tonight would have been a great game to get you some run. God, I fucking hate Zach Collins. 

Just a fucking horrendous season capped of by tonight's horrendous loss.  

  • Author
10 minutes ago, Kermit said:

Sochan: I know @ztejas is going to disagree vehemtly, but I don't know where this guy falls on this team. He is a horrid shooter and getting worse. He constatnly falls down leaving his teammates to defend 4 on 5. He's not the defender he thinks he is although he's good at it. He fouls a lot. He can't pass, he can't lob, but he can back his man down into the paint and miss a layup. He'll have the spectacular play, but until he can shoot he's going to have a hard time on the offensive side of the ball. Did I mention he can't shoot? 

Just trust me on this one. He'll wind up having by far the 2nd best career of anyone on this year's roster. Hopefully playing next to Wemby and fucking shit up.

He checks off every intangible box and has shown extremely promising improvement already from year 1 to year 2. His FG% was actually higher last season but he went from 25% to 33% from 3 (which is fucking massive) and from 70% to 77% at the line. His per-minute boards and dimes both went up this season despite the addition of Wemby. 

I watched him the other night - in person - piss Jamaal Murray the fuck off by picking him up 2/3 of the way down the court every possession with the Nuggets up double-digits in the waning minutes of the 4th quarter. He's an absolute dog.

He needs to work on being more consistent and making smarter plays but he's a serious, serious talent. I thought that when we drafted him. I thought that last season, and more than ever I believe it now. He and Wemby need to be the cornerstone of the next 10 years of this franchise. 

Edited by ztejas

  • Author
12 minutes ago, Kermit said:

Coaching staff: Tonight's game is a clear indicator that the old man needs to go. Taylor Jenkins has taken a bunch of journeymen and NBA hopefuls and has them playing hard and smart. Then you've got our merry band of idiots, who have been making the same goddman mistakes all season and are progressively getting worse (except Victor). This team needs someone young and hungry, who can grow with the team and hold them accountable. Pop is fat, happy, and clearly does not have what it takes. These guys can't even throw an entry pass, constantly fuck up lobs, and refuse to peel off when Vic is trying to post up. Coaching? 

Agree with this 1000%. We've looked poorly coached all season and really have little excuse to lose "on purpose".

Couple it with the fact that our draft magic isn't what it used to be - and you damn well know that Pop is the final authority on picks - and it's time. Dude's a fucking legend and has an argument for the greatest coach in the history of the sport. Write him a check for $50 million, nudge him out the door, build the statue and let's reload.

Anybody think Sochan finds himself wide ass open at the three point line and thinks, “Man I’m moving so well without the ball I totally shook my guy. They can’t hang with me.”

5 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Anybody think Sochan finds himself wide ass open at the three point line and thinks, “Man I’m moving so well without the ball I totally shook my guy. They can’t hang with me.”

I actually feel incredibly bad for him, because it’s clear he’d rather do anything but shoot that three. The ball spins in ways it didn’t think possible when it leaves his hands. @ztejas is probably right about his intangibles and hierarchy on the team, but he’s got to fix that shot. I’m not even worried about his threes, it’s the paint and rim shots that are starting to descend into exercises if futility.

  • Author
12 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Anybody think Sochan finds himself wide ass open at the three point line and thinks, “Man I’m moving so well without the ball I totally shook my guy. They can’t hang with me.”

 

3 minutes ago, Kermit said:

I actually feel incredibly bad for him, because it’s clear he’d rather do anything but shoot that three. The ball spins in ways it didn’t think possible when it leaves his hands. @ztejas is probably right about his intangibles and hierarchy on the team, but he’s got to fix that shot. I’m not even worried about his threes, it’s the paint and rim shots that are starting to descend into exercises if futility.

ezgif-4-7c021a06ad.gif.f152096a6d2a21ea6f39a8e7a5bdf526.gif

Young players are inconsistent, im not even too worried about the results. I think a lot of them have improved, but it is still clear that some of them simply aren't going to be good enough.

 

Need to have a good offseason....now that we've seen what Vic can do how about let's put players next to him that make sense.

9 hours ago, Kermit said:

Front office: What the fuck are you assholes doing? This team is dogshit. The veterans are/were dogshit, the players on the team sans Victor and Vassell are dogshit, and the "tank" is dogshit. This upcoming draft is also dogshit and you guys sold everyone on a tank after it became clear that you suck at your jobs. Fuck you. 

1000000% this.

Pop started the year saying “Winning is as important this year as learning was in the past.  We’ve got to continue to learn, but adding more wins is appropriate and mandatory.“

Within a few weeks it became “well we’re young” and “heh, well, we weren’t going to win a championship this year anyway” and “gee, we gotta see what we have” and other ridiculous musings to make it seem like they had a fucking clue of what they were doing.

That Pop quote to me is telling because there’s no way he says it if the front office doesn’t think they’ll be competitive.  Something like 35 wins, maybe not exactly in the hunt for a play-in, but also not eliminated in early March.

in fact, we’re careening towards something like a franchise-worst 18-64.

I’m not sure how they could have misjudged this team that badly, but it’s not terribly reassuring going forward.

Yall are spending too much energy thinking about players who won’t be on the roster in 2-3 years. Outside of Vassell and Victor and maybe Sochan this roster will be gutted eventually. 

2 hours ago, thepop said:

Yall are spending too much energy thinking about players who won’t be on the roster in 2-3 years. Outside of Vassell and Victor and maybe Sochan this roster will be gutted eventually. 

Well, yeah. When you watch literally every second of Spurs basketball this season you formulate some strong opinions. 
 

loop orange GIF

  • Author
9 hours ago, Welch said:

1000000% this.

Pop started the year saying “Winning is as important this year as learning was in the past.  We’ve got to continue to learn, but adding more wins is appropriate and mandatory.“

Within a few weeks it became “well we’re young” and “heh, well, we weren’t going to win a championship this year anyway” and “gee, we gotta see what we have” and other ridiculous musings to make it seem like they had a fucking clue of what they were doing.

That Pop quote to me is telling because there’s no way he says it if the front office doesn’t think they’ll be competitive.  Something like 35 wins, maybe not exactly in the hunt for a play-in, but also not eliminated in early March.

in fact, we’re careening towards something like a franchise-worst 18-64.

I’m not sure how they could have misjudged this team that badly, but it’s not terribly reassuring going forward.

Facts. He needs to go. Anyone seeing otherwise is lying to themselves or can't see it. I saw it from the beginning of the season and have been harping on it as much as possible without offending the diehard fans that think you aren't allowed to criticize him.

  • Author
4 hours ago, thepop said:

Yall are spending too much energy thinking about players who won’t be on the roster in 2-3 years.

I mean that's kind of the issue we have a bunch of shitass fucking players on the roster. How Keldon Johnson's shitass hasn't been traded yet is fucking baffling. What the fuck are we doing? We have a guy whose floor is like one of the 10 best players to ever touch a fucking basketball and we can't win at home against JJJ and a bunch of G leaguers. 

We're a fucking joke and Pop needs to fuck off. I'm done being patient and twiddling my thumbs it's blatantly apparent that whoever is running this shit has no idea what theyre doing. I'm an extremely flawed human being but I have a very, very keen eye for basketball. YMMV.

Edited by ztejas

2 hours ago, Kermit said:

Well, yeah. When you watch literally every second of Spurs basketball this season you formulate some strong opinions. 
 

loop orange GIF

On the bright side, when we are winning we will reminisce on these dark days. Especially the first half the season. Second half has been way more watchable which is saying something. 

God, this team is really shitty right now. Outside of Wemby, they can't make shit.

Yeah, I'm here right now. Didn't know Wemby was sitting out until they announced the starting lineup. Oh well.

@ztejas will be insufferable now. Great fucking game, Sochan playing the game of his life.

  • Author

Sochan x-rays came back.

963.jpeg.a829d368880047d7c74b3bf32f5a4a26.jpeg

Hell of a game by Sochan! Loved seeing how relieved he was after making that, along with seeing how happy the other guys were for him.

  • Author
10 hours ago, BurdineBandit said:

Just when I was starting to get down on the kid.... 

You just have to ignore the bad and focus on the improvement. Despite his numbers being similar to last year's he's made some huge strides and flashed a lot more than he did last season. 

Here's another thing: he's a guy that will sneakily play better than you think on his "bad" nights which is a great sign.

I'm not picking on you - but I'll use what you said about "starting to get down" on him to illustrate my point. 

3/22 against Memphis: 3/13, 0/4 from 3, 6 points, 4 turnovers 

Also 3/22 against Memphis: 10 boards, 4 dimes, 4 swipes, 1 block and a +3 in a 2 point loss

3/17 against Brooklyn: 1/8, 3 turnovers, 4 points

Also 3/17 against Brooklyn: 9 boards, 4 dimes, 1 swipe, 3 blocks 

His main thing is he needs to score more efficiently. But better players around him and more experience will help that. Frankly, I don't mind him eating shit FG% wise if it helps him develop into a better player.

Edited by ztejas

Every time I get frustrated with Sochan I just have to remind myself he’s 20. 
 

image.gif.09ac8cb57ac9498c8ae4456c1f91273c.gif

Sochan is definitely one of the few bright spots of this team. Dudes just gonna be a good player.

I had a dream we got the 2nd pick and drafted Topic. Orlando had the first pick and drafted Risacher which didn’t make sense. 

3 hours ago, thepop said:

I had a dream we got the 2nd pick and drafted Topic. Orlando had the first pick and drafted Risacher which didn’t make sense. 

Orlando is gonna be one of those cursed franchises. I can just feel it.

Good article on why Wemby/Sochan probably won't work: https://www.poundingtherock.com/2024/3/28/24110793/victor-wembanyama-jeremy-sochan-spurs-spacing-starting-lineup?fbclid=IwAR3y1GQ0R3B0yV8I3oTycdgRCyDGJc9MwWGKahMMxoEMFqxvfee92jq8g0g

TL;DR - Sochan can't shoot.  Even though he's (slightly) improved, he's so bad of a shooter that the defense hides their center on him and sags help off to cut off passing lanes and provide help defense on Wemby.

Wemby was looking good, but he bumped knees with Sochan and went to the bench hobbling. Looks like he's back in the locker room now. Hopefully he can come back into the game later. Or maybe they'll just sit him the rest of the game to be safe.

Me when Victor bumped knees and limped out of the game:

Shocked Dog GIF by Scooby-Doo

 

Me when Victor came back into the game and blocked Hartenstein's shot, then took it coast to coast:

Thank God Seinfeld GIF by HULU

7 minutes ago, hornfan785 said:

Somebody take the ball out of Brunson's hands, please.

Need Wesley on Brunson for the rest of the game when he's in.

My only criticism of Wemby at this stage in his career is ... he takes too many 3s. Other than that, he's better in every possible way than I imagined. Ridiculously long and talented for a 20-year-old.

40-20 for Wemby.

And seven assists — holy fucking shit

Why are the spurs winning? Don’t they need to stay in the bottom three for the draft? I thought this year was all about tank #2?

There isn’t much difference between the number 1 guy and the number 20 guy in this draft.

I know it’s super early but who are a few names of guys I should be thinking about for our pick? Spurs are going to be more competitive down the stretch it appears. The remaining schedule is pretty salty but I bet Spurs finish with fifth-worst record.

Nikola Tooic - euro 6’6” PG. good passer with vision.

Zaccharie Risacher - euro 6’8” wing. Decent 3 and D

Ron Holland - our old friend. 6’6” wing. Played good defense in g-league. Not efficient scorer.

Stephon Castle 6’6” ball handler/wing UConn. Could be a guy to build on.

Alexandere Sarr. Euro 7’1 Big. Played in Australia. Can stretch a little. Athletic. Probably going 1 or 2.

  • Author
23 minutes ago, Fastbreak said:

Not efficient scorer.

He was plenty efficient for an 18-year-old playing in the G-league. 

  • Author

I like that McCain kid from Duke. 

Forgot we also get Toronto’s pick this year too. It’s lottery-protected, though, I think.

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