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Featured Replies

2 hours ago, BurgleBro said:

The saddest part is you see college kickers make deep 40s and even low 50s kick with ease these days

Our current Westlake HS kicker is more accurate than Auburn, which I know isn't saying much. 

1 minute ago, 6th Street said:

Need open competition this week. Any of these dudes would be an upgrade.

IMG_7148.thumb.png.5bd0e5a5362085f532598ae7f7275fe1.png

 

He's a senior????   Then he's gone next year no matter what right?

 

Right???

1 hour ago, MotownHorn said:

He’s got the leg

He’s just pissing all over the toilet seat with his aim 

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRSRU6-JcC_A9e1dZVJD-C

3 minutes ago, Brandywine said:

Coming back for one more year according to him

I see the flaw in his planning. 

5 minutes ago, Brandywine said:

Coming back for one more year according to him. 

Yeah, it shouldn't be up to him when he could've easily won us a game outright today. 

2 hours ago, crash_davis said:

Let's not make this rocket science. It's kicking a fucking football through an upright. If you only successfully can kick from one hash, then you have the yips and suck. 

If have 2 chances to seal the win for your team and miss both times, you have the yips and suck. Oh yea, you also contributed to the loss in the SEC championship game. The team should probably leave your ass off the plane flight home.

No one gives a fuck which hash. Just make the fucking kick, any one of the 2.

even though he made 80% of his kicks his first 2 years he was always all over the place on the makes and was obviously worse from the right hash.  IMO, he is reverting to what is his actual mean. his distance is average to below average for a college kicker. 

we've been playing a bit of russian roulette with him as our kicker since he started and it has come back to bite us.  I realize college kicking is not good and hitting 75% of your kicks is good in college.  the issue is we don't really attempt anything over about 52 yards for him so in theory his accuracy numbers should be better.  He has to put more into it than most kickers once he gets into 43+ range.

It is a team game but it could easily be said he cost us SEC and almost cost us the QF.

 

Would be great if there was a redemption story for Bert out there in the next game or two. 

1 minute ago, C-Man said:

Bert fucking sucks. Period.

But he's a good kid from a good family

College Football Dancing GIF by Wisconsin Sportscenter

Would be great if there was a redemption story for Bert out there in the next game or two. 

Can we just blow someone the fuck out and not think about kicking for once!
11 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

obviously if the ball was at the left hash he would be aiming differently. 

Why start then?

12 hours ago, CS88 said:

Would be great if there was a redemption story for Bert out there in the next game or two. 

We should bring in another kicker next season regardless of the next game(s), but it wouldn't surprise me if we had a Rodney Terry situation where you "have to" bring him back if he makes a clutch kick in the championship game.

16 hours ago, The Ace of Aces said:

Sark cuddling him before the miss that would’ve won it was, frankly, bizarre. 

it was a repeat of mack/tucker at pyle in '11

a board member here known to many for decades has a nephew who played with bert at fm

he was never consistent there either

tessitore was talking about "they have to fix bert in the next 10 days"

the espn heads only know the "all-time fgs made for horns" stat

they have no clue regarding bert's unclutch storyline

they never talk about him being a walk-on that was given a scholarship

also i stand corrected in that i have bitched in the past about the miss against bama at the end of the first half at dkr, and that snap was bad and the ball was on the ground

but if i have to pick an event which started to fuck with the kid's head, that was it

+++

there are remedies for this problem

he clearly is broken and the haircut needs to happen in the locker room in front of everyone and it needs to be an NIL event - sell his hair (and there is a market) for a charity with an NIL match from cigars - have fun with it

next, we need the application of some serious dark arts

i have posted the video before - will hold it until i get a sign or portent that it is time to invoke legba

everyone with their own personal ritual for magick or luck-making should prepare for invocation, and document their efforts here

this is what we are down to

if anyone has any Jedi training and can manipulate The Force, please let us know how you can help

The Hogwarts House of Surly thanks you for your support

15 hours ago, Hate said:

It's gotten to the point where I am nervous on extra points as well. 

he's never missed a extra point

1 minute ago, Hagbard Celine said:

he's never missed a extra point

Now you've done it.

 

 

 

the first miss may have actually helped us the way sark fucked up the clock.  if he makes that one they dont punt to us on 4th and 4 and may end up scoring a td to beat us the way they were moving the ball at that point. but yeah, he fucking sucks and needs to be escorted off campus.  if we do make it back to ATL there's no way he will ever have confidence in that building after the last 2 games there.

3 minutes ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

Does Missouri's kicker have any eligibility left?  Can we tamper and money-whip his ass?

he's a rs freshman 

14 hours ago, taybo20 said:

I think we seriously have to think about him being mentally broken. He’s all over the place now. Feels like Stone needs to kick 

this

all of the ugly hate posts are not going to help

we have no choice this month - either we get divine intervention to correct his aiming algorhitm, or we do not win a title

start praying to the deity or deities of your choice

10 hours ago, shnsajax said:


Can we just blow someone the fuck out and not think about kicking for once!

 

Hope-is-a-dangerous-thing.-Hope-can-drive-a-man-insane..jpg

6 minutes ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

Does Missouri's kicker have any eligibility left?  Can we tamper and money-whip his ass?

why???

image.png.28bce0cd4383e632075abcac1463087a.png

How are kickers scouted at the pop warner or middle school level? What are coaches even looking for?

Just now, chainsaw said:

How are kickers scouted at the pop warner or middle school level? What are coaches even looking for?

Kids with Art Garfunkel hair, apparently.

1 minute ago, smuggs said:

Kids with Art Garfunkel hair, apparently.

a poetry contest

Had we lost against ASU that would have been brutal. The losses in the SEC Championship game and CFP would have been in big part because of him.

 

 

14 hours ago, closetohumping said:

Matthew Mcconaughey Horns Up GIF by Texas Longhorns

re: a sports psychologist........

assuming burt is hetero, does he have a female companion?   he is a goofy-looking dude but hey maybe he pulls tail for all we know

if he does not have adequate companionship, resolving that for him, on a temporary basis, should be considered by those with access to those resources

we're desperate here

no stone unturned

6 minutes ago, Rickylovesweed said:

Had we lost against ASU that would have been brutal. The losses in the SEC Championship game and CFP would have been in big part because of him.

 

 

I can't fucking stand his "aw shucks" body language when he fucks up. Gonna get someone killed from a rage-induced heart attack

15 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

Tamper with Michigans!

I think he's thinking of the fat one with the flat face from the past few years.

lol... the thicker kicker. I was noticing this bowl season on how it seems like majority of the kickers are fat now.

My dad when Auburn missed the second field goal said that guy needs to cut his hair because it makes his head lean sideways and it throws his balance when he kicks the ball.

52 minutes ago, Hagbard Celine said:

he's never missed a extra point

FUCK

11 hours ago, shnsajax said:


Can we just blow someone the fuck out and not think about kicking for once!

Why start now this late into the season?

What's the deal with Will Stone? Seems like he was pretty highly regarded out of HS and must have more leg strength if he's doing kickoffs

16 hours ago, nineliveslost said:

Look at Bert. he has a gut and looks stoned half the time 

 

220px-C-bob.png

 

He's overthinking everything now. After his FG against UGA that snuck inside the right upright was wiped out by a penalty, he tried to aim left more on the re-kick, and subsequently missed it to the left. His first miss against ASU was off to the right, so he tried going more to the left and hit the left post. He needs to completely forget about his previous kick and stop all the micro-adjusting.

3 hours ago, babysdaddy said:

He needs to shave his head.  

No, he needs to keep the hair. That will make his future transition into a female police detective that kidnaps Bevo and Quinn Ewers a whole lot easier.

4 hours ago, utexas8 said:

He turned his comments off on IG lol

Did he pull a Calzada?

image.thumb.jpeg.28a4af2723c3744fadeef54e2bf5cb2f.jpeg

21 hours ago, AbeFroman said:

Before today

Bert Auburn this year: Left hash: 5/5 Middle of the field: 5/7, misses from 51, 42 Right hash: 5/10; misses from 43, 44, 48, 51

So he was 68% on the year heading into that game....and it went downhill from there!

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