Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Featured Replies

  • Popular Post
20 hours ago, Wulaw Horn said:

Fuck that clown.  

 

16 hours ago, C-Man said:

Bert fucking sucks. Period.

 

2 hours ago, kingkoopa6 said:

 

Sesame Street Reaction GIF by Muppet Wiki

certainly Bert appears mindfucked now, but IMO a good chunk of this is on Sark. He not only refused to show his kicker that 3 points is important many, many times, he even took some of his good kicks off the board in favor of a failed 4th down tries just after. Part of the collateral damage in terms of Sark's mismanagement. and also what Saban said up there too ^ 

Spencer Barnett made a 59 yarder in HS.  One of these guys has to be a better option at this point.

That Shipley kicker at the school forever known as Southwest Texas State just made a 47-yard kick FROM THE RIGHT HASHMARK, like it was no sweat and he'd done it a million times before.

How come we're not getting him on The 40 Acres tomorrow?

How THE FUCK does fucking Southwest Texas State have a BETTER KICKER than The University?

What The Fuck, Sark?

On 1/2/2025 at 4:34 PM, BERT said:

200.gif

 

 

Jahdae's got yah Bert...

 

On OTF this morning...

Bert has won the right to start in The Cotton Bowl.  Coaches helped Bert tweak some things and Bert won the competition in practice this week...

giphy.gif

                C'mon Bert!!! 🤘 

 

 

Edited by LTtxfan
Freudian slip

How bad must Stone suck at kicking field goals? 

Also, has Bert not been nailing them in practice? He's been clanking them this whole time and nobody thought to try out the other guy? 

This just doesn't make much sense. 

Too lazy to see if mentioned yet, but the last few games I've rewatched, it looks like he's rushing his first step and slowing the next, leading to a jerky motion. Maybe the holder is doing something different... just a thought, for the kickers here; I was a punter but definitely not a place kicker.

11 minutes ago, Hermanator said:

How bad must Stone suck at kicking field goals? 

Also, has Bert not been nailing them in practice? He's been clanking them this whole time and nobody thought to try out the other guy? 

This just doesn't make much sense. 

of course it doesn't.  they rode Bert all season and have no way of knowing what Stone will do in a game of this magnitude.  this coming through OTF is just cover to give the appearance they are doing something after he choked 2 games in a row.

I'd like to know who was helping to "tweak" him, if it were in fact taking place, which I doubt.

1 minute ago, dcar00 said:

I'd like to know who was helping to "tweak" him, if it were in fact taking place, which I doubt.

I'd like to know why the fuck they waited this long to tweak him when he's been god fucking awful all season.

3 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

I'd like to know why the fuck they waited this long to tweak him when he's been god fucking awful all season.

ha. they didn't. maybe Auburn has a private coach but who knows.

59 minutes ago, Hermanator said:

How bad must Stone suck at kicking field goals? 

Also, has Bert not been nailing them in practice? He's been clanking them this whole time and nobody thought to try out the other guy? 

This just doesn't make much sense. 

Long term, pre season, between and within game ST management and coaching has been an utter abject failure the likes not seen during Mack, Strong, or Herman eras. 

37 minutes ago, dcar00 said:

ha. they didn't. maybe Auburn has a private coach but who knows.

Well, now we can have infinite on-field analysts/corches, so can we go get a fucking kicking corch who can fix FG kicking, please, Sark?  Lulz.

If Stone can't beat out this version of Auburn I'm assuming that's two scholarships that will free up from the kicker room this offseason.

Maybe he needs to bang an ugly chick? Not too ugly, just a chick with a little chin meat and glasses. Slightly greasy hair. A poorly done tattoo. Decent teeth, but crappy makeup. Big tits. A+ attitude. 

15 minutes ago, Gucci_Suit said:

Maybe he needs to bang an ugly chick? Not too ugly, just a chick with a little chin meat and glasses. Slightly greasy hair. A poorly done tattoo. Decent teeth, but crappy makeup. Big tits. A+ attitude. 

I don't know if it will help Bert, but sure, sign me up. Wheelhouse. 

Maybe he needs to bang an ugly chick? Not too ugly, just a chick with a little chin meat and glasses. Slightly greasy hair. A poorly done tattoo. Decent teeth, but crappy makeup. Big tits. A+ attitude. 
Tell him to hit me up when he's up here. I got plenty for him
5 hours ago, Hermanator said:

How bad must Stone suck at kicking field goals? 

Also, has Bert not been nailing them in practice? He's been clanking them this whole time and nobody thought to try out the other guy? 

This just doesn't make much sense. 

Burton’s running excuse is that Stone is left footed so they’d have to change the holder too. 
 

He also said Bert can’t fix this in 10 days. “Maybe he can fix it in the offseason.” 
 

I’d encourage Bert to move on the offseason, and get a Dominic Zvada level kicker in the portal. 

4 hours ago, Gucci_Suit said:

Maybe he needs to bang an ugly chick? Not too ugly, just a chick with a little chin meat and glasses. Slightly greasy hair. A poorly done tattoo. Decent teeth, but crappy makeup. Big tits. A+ attitude. 

    spacer.png

2 challenges with Stone:

  1. left footed kicker and impact to holder (already noted)
  2. launch angle of his kicks seems a little lower

#2 is not really an issue for kickoffs provided he's accurate and able to get the proper placement and distance (which he has).  It can be a problem for FGs.  I saw him kick in HS quite a few times, and it seemed as though his kicks were a tad lower at launch than most top-flight kickers.  That can make them prone to being blocked.  I will concede that (1) it's been 3 years and that he likely has improved and (2) my comments are subjective.  Here's his hudl.  2021 was fall of his senior year.  This is not to denigrate him, but to point out some observations...

 

Burton’s running excuse is that Stone is left footed so they’d have to change the holder too. 
 
He also said Bert can’t fix this in 10 days. “Maybe he can fix it in the offseason.” 
 
I’d encourage Bert to move on the offseason, and get a Dominic Zvada level kicker in the portal. 

I think that’s a bullshit excuse on Stone. You do have to retrain the holder and this ain’t the time you want to be doing that.

What if, we get behind the kid, support him, give him confidence, and watch him make some kicks tomorrow.  I'm sure he isn't happy he missed those kicks either.  Let's go Bert!

And Honestly I'm more mad that we have a Special Teams coach that has no clue how to help him when you can listen to 102.7 and hear a sports show host (that used to be a kicker) come up with instant ideas after watching some film on how to help him out.  Let Banks recruit and go get a special Teams coach that won't give up fake punts (when the other team's Punter was carted off the field) at will and actually knows how to help improve his players.  

If Stone was a viable alternative, that trigger would have been pulled weeks ago.  We're gonna ride or die with Bert Auburn.  Definitely need to hit the portal for a kicker when the season is over for us.

10 minutes ago, chemHORN said:

What if, we get behind the kid, support him, give him confidence, and watch him make some kicks tomorrow.  I'm sure he isn't happy he missed those kicks either.  Let's go Bert!

We, as in message board posters? 

Just now, Red Five said:

We, as in message board posters? 

1872406c-2638-454b-9640-22df56ec7dc1-tex

On 1/8/2025 at 1:52 PM, Gucci_Suit said:

Maybe he needs to bang an ugly chick? Not too ugly, just a chick with a little chin meat and glasses. Slightly greasy hair. A poorly done tattoo. Decent teeth, but crappy makeup. Big tits. A+ attitude. 

Can we send over SouthAustin mom to his room  instead?

43 minutes ago, chemHORN said:

And Honestly I'm more mad that we have a Special Teams coach that has no clue how to help him when you can listen to 102.7 and hear a sports show host (that used to be a kicker) come up with instant ideas after watching some film on how to help him out.  Let Banks recruit and go get a special Teams coach that won't give up fake punts (when the other team's Punter was carted off the field) at will and actually knows how to help improve his players.  

You think a kicker needs a dedicated coach on staff? They usually have a GA or something similar working with the off to the side charting stats and maybe helping them work through the process if necessary. 

Kickers are part of the team, but they generally do their own thing. Unless he’s hurt, Bert’s issues are mental. He didn’t just forget how to kick after all this time. 

On 1/8/2025 at 1:52 PM, Gucci_Suit said:

Maybe he needs to bang an ugly chick? Not too ugly, just a chick with a little chin meat and glasses. Slightly greasy hair. A poorly done tattoo. Decent teeth, but crappy makeup. Big tits. A+ attitude. 

That perfectly describes my last slump buster. If not for the smoking I'd have gone back for thirds.

8 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

That perfectly describes my last slump buster. If not for the smoking I'd have gone back for thirds.

Yeah, slump busters who smoke are not helping themselves. Hot chicks that smoke, I’ve always been all about that. Hot chicks don’t smoke anymore. Also I’m a married loser, so. 

You think a kicker needs a dedicated coach on staff? They usually have a GA or something similar working with the off to the side charting stats and maybe helping them work through the process if necessary. 

Kickers are part of the team, but they generally do their own thing. Unless he’s hurt, Bert’s issues are mental. He didn’t just forget how to kick after all this time. 

Yes, but if he’s changing his stride or approach, someone should be monitoring that and stopping him.

It's probably been said upthread, but how many times this year has he missed two kicks in a row, first wide right, then second wide left?  At least three including the Peach Bowl?  We need a kicking coach because dude doesn't know how to correct.  He corrects from kick to kick like my 11 yr old daughter steers the Tomorrowland cars at Disneyworld.

On 1/8/2025 at 1:52 PM, Gucci_Suit said:

Maybe he needs to bang an ugly chick? Not too ugly, just a chick with a little chin meat and glasses. Slightly greasy hair. A poorly done tattoo. Decent teeth, but crappy makeup. Big tits. A+ attitude. 

giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952ztto5ignu5fk9qvuhq

1 hour ago, Red Five said:

We, as in message board posters? 

Yes we as message board posters and fans of Texas. He is our kicker this year for better or worse and he has missed some big kicks but doesn't mean he can't make the next big one.  Pretty sure if he runs out on the field and everyone boos that won't help his confidence.  

1 hour ago, Atticus said:

You think a kicker needs a dedicated coach on staff? They usually have a GA or something similar working with the off to the side charting stats and maybe helping them work through the process if necessary. 

Kickers are part of the team, but they generally do their own thing. Unless he’s hurt, Bert’s issues are mental. He didn’t just forget how to kick after all this time. 

I think a good special teams coach can watch film and look for tendencies that are hurting him.  He doesn't need a dedicated kicking coach but if your ST coach doesn't know anything about kicking then it might not be a terrible idea to have someone on staff that does.  

Jeff Crosby is your guy. He’s the de facto specialist coach. 

Yes we as message board posters and fans of Texas. He is our kicker this year for better or worse and he has missed some big kicks but doesn't mean he can't make the next big one.  Pretty sure if he runs out on the field and everyone boos that won't help his confidence.  

They won’t be booing until he starts missing.
On 1/8/2025 at 11:52 AM, Gucci_Suit said:

Maybe he needs to bang an ugly chick? Not too ugly, just a chick with a little chin meat and glasses. Slightly greasy hair. A poorly done tattoo. Decent teeth, but crappy makeup. Big tits. A+ attitude. 

Sounds like a job for the Pole Assassin!

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.