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Featured Replies

The kid made what should have been 2 50-yard game-winning field goals against Alabama and OU, only to see our defense choke both games away in the final seconds. He was indeed terrible last year and I hope he figures it out and does well at his new home.

He always has his prop comedy to fall back on. 

carrot GIF

17 hours ago, ztejas said:

Fuck that shit, man. Sark has this thing rolling. We don't have time for kicking seasons like the travesty that Bert put together in '24. 

Bert drove me crazy but it’s on Sark for constantly setting up plays where if we needed to kick it was from the side of the field where Bert kept missing. 

3 minutes ago, gofuckyourself said:

Bert sucked last year because 90% of y'all kept calling him Burt.

It would have been easier if he'd have just gone ahead and changed his name to Aubern.

3 hours ago, Tex Long said:

I'll be interested to see if Auburn can figure out what went wrong, and maybe get his first two seasons' accuracy back. 

Probably will be better for him when he doesn't have Sark in his face with a nervous-looking grin before every big kick, and without a line that constantly false starts during his attempts. He might benefit from a haircut, too.

Edited by OU Sucks

Definitely should reboot his hairstyle at the same time as his kicking career. 

Yes - a nice trip to Sports Clips won’t hurt his future.

Hook’em!!!

Gotta hope this means we have someone better lined up.  If Will Stone were better wouldn’t he have been kicking last year?  

5 hours ago, Lhorn said:

Gotta hope this means we have someone better lined up.  If Will Stone were better wouldn’t he have been kicking last year?  

Check the transfer thread 

Started out great and went downhill.  Think his early success went to his head.  Good luck to him with his next team.

14 hours ago, Horn80 said:

Started out great and went downhill.  Think his early success went to his head.  Good luck to him with his next team.

It was probably those dates with Sydney Sweeney.

9 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

It was probably those dates with Sydney Sweeney.

Women weaken legs.

12 hours ago, StassneyHorn said:

Carrot Top is actually funny though

Carrot Top needs to be shot in the head and left in the ditch to die a cold and lonely death.

On 4/18/2025 at 3:30 PM, MrBig said:

Bert drove me crazy but it’s on Sark for constantly setting up plays where if we needed to kick it was from the side of the field where Bert kept missing. 

  Both sides?

On 4/18/2025 at 6:01 AM, Kennythetiger said:

When Z’s being all mean and hateful like that, your best bet is just to ignore him. He’ll be his normal sweet self in the morning. 

I Guess If You Say So GIF

I wish Bert well. Forgot how good he was 2 years ago. 

He was still cheeks last season and Texas has made the right call by moving on. 

🤘

On 4/18/2025 at 4:31 PM, OU Sucks said:

Probably will be better for him when he doesn't have Sark in his face with a nervous-looking grin before every big kick, and without a line that constantly false starts during his attempts. He might benefit from a haircut, too.

Yes it's the guy who's about to get 15 of his players drafted's fault.

The Rock Eye Roll GIF by WWE

4 minutes ago, ztejas said:

Yes it's the guy who's about to get 15 of his players drafted's fault.

The Rock Eye Roll GIF by WWE

homer simpson GIF

11 hours ago, Tex Long said:

Carrot Top needs to be shot in the head and left in the ditch to die a cold and lonely death.

Vegas doesn't hand out 18 year residencies.

On 4/18/2025 at 10:44 PM, Murfdogg21 said:

Definitely should reboot his hairstyle at the same time as his kicking career. 

For sure. Here comes an old man rant, so please neg me if you want.

There's a good life rule. If we choose to hire you and you look really ridiculous, you had better be really, really good at your job. An example of this would be Albert Einstein. 

Because if you screw up, then WE look really ridiculous for having made the decision to hire you.  

For fun, check out the social media saga of this angry woman, Ash O'Brien, who for some reason, couldn't get a job at TJ Maxx.  

“Gonna Use This For My Younger Clients As A Lesson”: People Give Tattooed Woman A Reality Check

Edited by TreatyOak

30 minutes ago, TreatyOak said:

“Gonna Use This For My Younger Clients As A Lesson”: People Give Tattooed Woman A Reality Check

Not a bad rant, but you left out the part about "Don't stick your dick in this."

 

2 hours ago, Tex Long said:

Not a bad rant, but you left out the part about "Don't stick your dick in this."

 

I'd need to see a full body shot before making that determination

37 minutes ago, Ghost of NMAS said:

I'd need to see a full body shot before making that determination

Or you could just wear a blindfold and hope for the best.

19 minutes ago, Tex Long said:

Or you could just wear a blindfold and hope for the best.

Sounds like a good way to get tetanus. 

To read an interview with Ash and watch her hilarious, clueless TikTok,  click here. TJMAXX claimed she didn't have enough experience, but one viewer speculated that perhaps, "it was the demon-spider on her neck."  

Good luck to you, Bert. And if you want people to take you seriously, stop presenting yourself like you just finished a run in the traveling production of "Hair."

image.jpeg.5c6161cb8da168d5c04be168172970cb.jpeg

34 minutes ago, TreatyOak said:

To read an interview with Ash and watch her hilarious, clueless TikTok,  click here. TJMAXX claimed she didn't have enough experience, but one viewer speculated that perhaps, "it was the demon-spider on her neck."  

image.jpeg.5c6161cb8da168d5c04be168172970cb.jpeg

Frustrated Clint Eastwood GIF

1 hour ago, Park Gothic said:

Sounds like a good way to get tetanus. 

"Good" doesn't really apply here, does it?

You could substitute a plastic bag - opaque, of course - for the blindfold. Or keep the blindfold and use a plastic bread-bag. And dishwashing gloves.

Might want to put a nice tight bungee cord around your neck, keep that bag from coming loose.

55 minutes ago, Tex Long said:

"Good" doesn't really apply here, does it?

You could substitute a plastic bag - opaque, of course - for the blindfold. Or keep the blindfold and use a plastic bread-bag. And dishwashing gloves.

Might want to put a nice tight bungee cord around your neck, keep that bag from coming loose.

Sounds like you speak from experience.

1 hour ago, Rockwell Torrey said:

Sounds like you speak from experience.

Only the blindfold. The rest depends on luck.

 

4 hours ago, UTEE97 said:

Frustrated Clint Eastwood GIF

Yes, but also 

Kombucha No But GIF

I'd need to see a full body shot before making that determination

Looks to be pretty rude and definitely crazy.
21 minutes ago, Jkwellborn said:


Looks to be pretty rude and definitely crazy.

She's the little red dot in the northeast corner of the No-Go Zone.

Hot-crazy matrix.png

I think this calls for another level of protection.

 

1_24c22800-475f-4b71-bc2f-144efdef2363_5

  • 4 months later...
2 minutes ago, chainsaw said:

Debut is today

Hey chainsaw...

 

giphy.gif

Just now, LTtxfan said:

Hey chainsaw...

 

giphy.gif

Don't pretend you're not interested. It's CFB on a Sunday.

Miss me yet? I'm the REAL kicker at UMiami guys. We just use the other guy as a DECOY
image.png

1 minute ago, 4th&Five said:

image.gif.ac7395a819242cf74670e35ee11dfe8d.gif

He ain't come to UMiami to play school. Or football. Made friends with some cool Colombian guys.

7 minutes ago, chainsaw said:

He ain't come to UMiami to play school. Or football. Made friends with some cool Colombian guys.

Bert becoming a Miami drug lord would be an awesome twist to this tale

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