Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Featured Replies

1 hour ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Clean slate. 

Lolololol

2023.... 365 days!

Shart free in 23!

Going for 2 in 24!

I tempted Fate and Fate blinked first 

Edited by Longhornstampede

8 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Clean slate. 

History of posting checks out. At first I thought Doomlet finally had his own thread lol 

Had a late December mini-shart, but I'm looking to regroup and come out stronger and more confident of myself as I tackle 2024 head-on!!

Sharting...hmmm would this be considered the same thing as "spotting" for a woman?

  • Author
55 minutes ago, Bevo&Pevo said:

Sharting...hmmm would this be considered the same thing as "spotting" for a woman?

No. 

3 hours ago, Steel Shank said:

Had a late December mini-shart, but I'm looking to regroup and come out stronger and more confident of myself as I tackle 2024 head-on!!

We just have to go out there and execute and take one week at a time and be the best we can be from one moment to the next. If we take care of that we'll be fine. No unforced errors and can't beat ourselves. We're very confident right now. -- very deliberate each step. We'll see how it all shakes out in the end. 

Edited by Chooky
Get me a towel, please

December is behind me - the shart is over. I'm not going to let one shart beat me twice.

 

Edited by tx ind

  • Author
38 minutes ago, CycleTex87 said:

This is just not my problem at all. Opposite in fact. 
 

Carry on. 

Pride goeth before a shart, bro. 

21 hours ago, Bevo&Pevo said:

Sharting...hmmm would this be considered the same thing as "spotting" for a woman?

The shart cares not about your gender. This thread is available to all to lessen (or broaden) the shame caused by an unexpected fecal release, regardless of one’s age, gender, national origin, citizenship status, education, disability, or veteran status.

Mid-year I was walking 10k every night. I quickly built my route around where free/clean bathrooms were. There were several close calls. Here’s hoping for a clean 24 as I have the nightly walking back on my resolutions.

28 minutes ago, Fastbreak said:

Mid-year I was walking 10k every night. I quickly built my route around where free/clean bathrooms were. There were several close calls. Here’s hoping for a clean 24 as I have the nightly walking back on my resolutions.

Avatar and nightly activities check out.  Hello, Richard.

81urK7OKuNL._AC_UF1000,1000_QL80_.jpg

Caught a scare w/ a 0200 thick fart in my sleep.

Easily made it to baño, brought phone... escaped without any damage.

Sigh. Managed to realize it wasn’t a fart building at 4:00 am, so avoided the bed shart. Turns out it was food poisoning (probably a salad I had at lunch). Started blowing mud then…and kept on for 5 hours. Barely slept. At home now, tired and dehydrated, sipping Gatorade. And still far from back to normal.

On 1/2/2024 at 8:55 AM, Fastbreak said:

Mid-year I was walking 10k every night. 

how long does that take you?

32 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Sigh. Managed to realize it wasn’t a fart building at 4:00 am, so avoided the bed shart. Turns out it was food poisoning (probably a salad I had at lunch). Started blowing mud then…and kept on for 5 hours. Barely slept. At home now, tired and dehydrated, sipping Gatorade. And still far from back to normal.

Sorry you're feeling poorly. It's amazing how much fp is caused by salad and other greens. I love to make salad but it's getting to where those oysters your family grilled over the weekend were probably safer.

On 12/31/2023 at 10:01 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

Clean slate. 

I still haven't cleaned the bath mat from 2023, so this is only a metaphorically clean slate.

'23 was a bad year for me.  I'm not optimistic about '24.

44 minutes ago, Rimbo said:

I still haven't cleaned the bath mat from 2023, so this is only a metaphorically clean slate.

spacer.png

Some close calls in 2023 but escaped clean. Here’s to 2024!

Sorry you're feeling poorly. It's amazing how much fp is caused by salad and other greens. I love to make salad but it's getting to where those oysters your family grilled over the weekend were probably safer.

Well, turns out I have a fever too. So it’s probably some sort of Norovirus or something. Even more fun. I just crashed and slept another 2 hours.
3 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Sigh. Managed to realize it wasn’t a fart building at 4:00 am, so avoided the bed shart. Turns out it was food poisoning (probably a salad I had at lunch). Started blowing mud then…and kept on for 5 hours. Barely slept. At home now, tired and dehydrated, sipping Gatorade. And still far from back to normal.

I'm shocked that you, of all people, ate a salad.

I'm shocked that you, of all people, ate a salad.

After Monday’s consumption…lots of salads and greens are called for. On the bright side, I won’t eat anything at all today. Just Gatorade.
how long does that take you?

I go at about an 11 min per km pace, so generally 2 hours.

It’s when I clear out my podcasts.
21 hours ago, Brisketexan said:


Well, turns out I have a fever too. So it’s probably some sort of Norovirus or something. Even more fun. I just crashed and slept another 2 hours.

There’s definitely an outbreak going around. I ate an entire large pizza from Marco’s on Monday night to watch the game, tuesday I was feeling like shit and by that night my asshole was a firehose. Bad headache and fever too, lasted a good 10-12 hours. 

  • Author
3 minutes ago, Helobious said:

There’s definitely an outbreak going around. I ate an entire large pizza from Marco’s on Monday night to watch the game, tuesday I was feeling like shit and by that night my asshole was a firehose. Bad headache and fever too, lasted a good 10-12 hours. 

All that pizza probably didn't help your asshole, either! 

*rimshot

Yeah I think my days of eating entire large pizza’s in one sitting are over. I used to destroy the dominos large 3 topping $7.99 carry out specials in college. My asshole handled that fine 

  • Popular Post

I'm not sure if this goes in this thread, or the getting old sucks thread, but I encountered my first ever sheeze today.

  • Author
27 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I'm not sure if this goes in this thread, or the getting old sucks thread, but I encountered my first ever sheeze today.

Almost had a shough yesterday myself. 

But I'll tell you one thing, coughing while you're perched on the throne and backing one out is one of life's great unpleasantries - felt like my entire vascular system was going to explode from all the conflicting pressure. 

On 1/3/2024 at 4:30 PM, Brisketexan said:


Well, turns out I have a fever too. So it’s probably some sort of Norovirus or something. Even more fun. I just crashed and slept another 2 hours.

Had it over Christmas.  6 very long days.  My advice is to get an IV, I got 2, to stay hydrated.  Also, my asshole just laughed at Imodium, once I started chugging Pepto while alternating Imodium things improved.  I managed to stay clean but was glued to the toilet.  Godspeed.  

6 hours ago, HeHateMe said:

Had it over Christmas.  6 very long days.  My advice is to get an IV, I got 2, to stay hydrated.  Also, my asshole just laughed at Imodium, once I started chugging Pepto while alternating Imodium things improved.  I managed to stay clean but was glued to the toilet.  Godspeed.  

Guess I got lucky.  Was just a 24 hour-ish thing for me.  Took me longer than it should have to realize it was viral and not food poisoning - as I sat on the sofa, shivering and exhausted, then crawled into bed mid-day to crash for a few hours....I realized "huh....maybe I'm actually sick."  Had a fever then, and that evening.  Long night's sleep, with lots of tossing and turning as the fever broke, then a day of recovery yesterday, and I'm back at it today.  And man, did I pound the gatorade so I could avoid an IV and ER trip.

Shart, Sheeze and Shough is a little-known:

a) law firm

b) Irish folk/pop supergroup

c) late-in-life Dr. Seuss book

  • Author

I'm embarking on Day 3 of the shitfest that's going around - currently blasting soup through a hose for the third time this morning. 

But it's a great weight loss plan! 

 

Screenshot_20240105_093556_MyFitnessPal.jpg

On 1/4/2024 at 3:09 PM, Helobious said:

Yeah I think my days of eating entire large pizza’s in one sitting are over. I used to destroy the dominos large 3 topping $7.99 carry out specials in college. My asshole handled that fine 

Yeah, that's when I started to realize I was "maturing". For a person my size, I would eat as much as a person outweighed me by 100lbs. Now I barely put a dent in a full sized meal.

  • Author
1 hour ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Yeah, that's when I started to realize I was "maturing". For a person my size, I would eat as much as a person outweighed me by 100lbs. Now I barely put a dent in a full sized meal.

To be fair, you've also undertaken an *extremely* radical weight-loss plan in the meantime! 

Started taking acid reflux medicine which seems to turn stomach acid into farts. A LOT of farts.

This has introduced a brand new challenge to my butthole discipline.

I think with focuseness that I can turn this into a victory for 2024.

 

On 1/5/2024 at 7:40 AM, Prepuce of Doom said:

I'm embarking on Day 3 of the shitfest that's going around - currently blasting soup through a hose for the third time this morning. 

But it's a great weight loss plan! 

 

Screenshot_20240105_093556_MyFitnessPal.jpg

Dude, y'all too? Yeah, down about 5 lbs after my Christmas week shits.

Only had the one mid-season stumble during '23 after a clean '22.  Hoping that I'm in the early 2010s SF Giants pattern with championships coming in even years.

On 1/7/2024 at 9:23 PM, MissingInAction said:

Started taking acid reflux medicine which seems to turn stomach acid into farts. A LOT of farts.

This has introduced a brand new challenge to my butthole discipline.

I think with focuseness that I can turn this into a victory for 2024.

 

NEVER, EVER trust a fart, especially after age 50.

Been dealing with ulcerative colitis so already making my excuses, but suffice it to say I had to throw away my underwear at work today.

On 1/7/2024 at 7:23 PM, MissingInAction said:

Started taking acid reflux medicine which seems to turn stomach acid into farts. A LOT of farts.

This has introduced a brand new challenge to my butthole discipline.

I think with focuseness that I can turn this into a victory for 2024.

 

Just assume they’re all farts.  What’s the worst that could happen?

Almost to page 2 and we aren't even halfway through January.  2024 is going to be messy...

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.